Women's Fashion Through the Years and Through the Movies

Marlene Dietrich in her iconic tux.

Once we lost the bone corset and the hoop skirt made out of wire (basically sounds like articles that belong in a torture chamber rather than on a woman's body) fashion changed quite drastically. After the suffrage movement, there was a big need for women to behave, look, and mimic men. The 20's era of women's fashion wasn't the most feminine, but it was quite unique. It was a time where a dress that goes above the ankle was still scandalous. The dresses were ones that hung like oversized burlap sacks over the feminine physique because they also lost the need to wear girdles or bras. They decorated them with fringe, rhinestones, and feathers, cut their hair short like men so it would be less to handle. It was a way of becoming more masculine while still showing off the beauty of womanhood. The make up of the times also changed drastically, considering at the turn of the century, there was barely any make up being worn by women, except for in high society circles. To touch on the opposite side of the spectrum, dark lipstick and eye-liner took over, where women started to look like burlesque performers and/or clowns. One woman in particular took that sentiment to a very literal level; Marlene Dietrich wore a tuxedo in Morocco and subsequently many times in real life. She later said that she never dressed for a man's attention, but for 'the look'.

Joan Crawford in a gown by Adrian who was the foremost designer for celebrity dresses in the 1930's, making all of his women more feminine, beautiful, and chic.

By the thirties, things had settled, the right to vote was ours and we as a species had calmed down. The dresses became flowy and long with empty backs and were made out of silk and satin. They were curve hugging and striking, very much accentuating the female anatomy. Now that most women had started to work; mostly as shop girls and stenographers, while in the office they would don pencil skirts and fitted suits adorned with fur. Katherine Hepburn was one of the few brave souls of that era to always wear pants. It was a risky move that eventually became her trademark. Later in life, she was asked if she even owned a skirt by Barbara Walters and she quipped 'I have one, I'll wear it to your funeral'. 

Grace Kelly encapsulated demure but still eye-catching fashion of the 1950's, of course barely anyone looked like her or had a body that carried clothes better.

Let's skip on over to the 50's and early 60's. Tiny wastes were in, as were shoulder pads, and demure button-downed dresses. The woman had moved back to the kitchen, was prescribed dexedrine and spent her day doing laundry and vacuuming. Just think of Betty Draper in the first two seasons of Mad Men. This is why vamps like Marilyn Monroe with her low cut dresses that she was basically sewn into was such a scandal. With a body built for sin, she had no reservations about hiding it, especially because in the start, it was her bread and butter. 

Marilyn Monroe in her infamous 'Happy Birthday Mr. President' dress made of nude-colored fabric and beads that barely hid anything and definitely made a statement. It was the pinnacle of her penchant for shocking fashion statements.

By the late 60's, with the second wave of feminism being a prominent force in American dissent, pants were now just as common on women as they were on men. It was a questionable time for fashion. Low-riders (I don't care how flat your stomach is) are not flattering, neither are elephant flares and knits. But by the Summer of Love, we were lucky people were wearing ANYTHING. The hair got long and unkempt, and basically it was a free-for-all, I suppose the biggest fashion icons of that time were Ali McGraw and Barbara Streisand, who each in their own way, made the questionable fashion choices of that era chic. 

Dustin Hoffman pulled off the horrible fashion statements of the 80's much better than any woman on celluloid that I can remember. 

The 80's...why don't we skip that. We can sum it up in very few words; shoulder pads, flacid bows, and Laura Ashley. It was perhaps the most unflattering time for women's fashion. Someone once said that the shoulder pad problem was so bad that women clearly wanted to look like a bunch of line backers. Perhaps the female fashion icon of the 80's is Dustin Hoffman in Tootsie. 

Believe it or not, my mother dressed me like this for the majority of my adolescence still when I started dressing myself in Birkenstocks, electric blue eye-shadow, and micro-mini's, I have to say she had the right idea. 

Now, on to the era that I really love...and also hate to a degree, the icons of which were Courtney Love in her baby doll dress and lace up pleather boots, Kate Moss and her androgynous skinny jeans and oversized t-shirts, and of course Jennifer Aniston as Rachel Green with that hair cut we all remember, and down-to-earth casual 90's style. It was a time to get back to basics. But for some reason I was always dressed in embellished Blossom-esque hats, velvet overalls, and fake suspenders (I'm serious). The 90's were definitely two eras of fashion. The early ones were all about women dressing very earthy like they are standing in line for Lilith Fair tickets, and the second part was filled with body glitter, cargo pants, and plum lipstick. Thanks for that Gwen Stefani. 

Walking art. Nicole Kidman was the only one in my opinion that could pull off a designer gown better than the model on the runway.

And what are we up to now? Thank god the first decade of the 00's is over and we no longer wear Juicy Couture, trucker hats, and midriff tops (it was such a dark time). One fashion icon that has held her own for close to two decades now and still doesn't miss a beat and always ends up on everyone's Best Dressed list is Nicole Kidman. With the body of a porcelain doll that eats a rice cake a year, she can wear sweat pants from Walgreens or Valentino couture and make it look gorgeous. Not that she'd ever be caught dead in sweat pants. Taylor Swift also has her whole renewed image going. Starting from a country bumpkin look with her long blonde curly hair, and cowboy boots to a closet full of Louboutins and sailor shorts (also, since when did the cat become an accessory, much better than Paris Hilton's ferret, am I right?). My current favorite has to be a cross between Emma Watson and Tilda Swinton who both got back on the androgyny train and still manage to make it look sexy, feminine and incredibly chic. Whether on the red carpet wearing Balenciaga couture or grocery shopping, they are on fleek (can't believe I just said that). It's important to mix the feminine sensuality with sophistication and they've both done so brilliantly while being about 20 years apart in age. Oh and by the way, wearing a lot of designer high-end clothing does NOT make you chic. Every red carpet Kristen Stewart attends she's draped in Zuhair Murad (one of the most innovative designers right now) and she can't even stand up straight? It's a crime to fashion...and to women. Now if we could just lose the skinny jeans, the ironic vintage T's, and the raccoon eye-make up we'd actually have a good era going on right now. Let's get at it. 

Below, clips to illustrate my point. 

And the Oscar for Best Director of All Time Goes To...

'I'm a writer, but then...nobody's perfect'

Every once in a while I like to back track a bit and get off the Bravo Real Housewives tittie. I normally don't like to throw my Ivy League degree in Film Studies into people's faces but, hey ya'll! I got an Ivy League Master's degree in Film Studies: Translation I got the world's most useless degree in one of the most prestigious Universities in the continental United States and am knee deep in student debt that will cripple me until the end of time. Ergo, I have somewhat of an encyclopedic knowledge of cinema that serves no purpose whatsoever and impresses absolutely no one. Yay me! 

But once in a while I'd like to utilize that and open people up to something they might not be aware of or worse care about, but this is my blog and I get to do whatever I want so strap in. It's not an excerpt from my dissertation on Warhol so don't worry. I'll sprinkle some snark and fun facts all over it and make it readable. 

A filmmaker that first put me on this useless track to no where was Billy Wilder. I was 10 and my dad made me sit down to watch Some Like it Hot one afternoon. Even though it's an oldie, most of you have probably seen it considering how iconic it is, if you haven't then it's about time you crawled out of that cave you've been living in. My dad was like that. If he had something he wanted to turn you on to, you didn't really have a say in it. And that's basically what I'm doing to you now, obviously you could stop reading but where's the fun in that? Also, I can't ground you if you do, so I have substantially less power. Nothing I can say will have as much resonance than his films on their own, but here's trying. 

Wilder collaborated withMonroe on two films. In this scene all she had to say was 'where's that bourbon?' It took over 20 takes. He later quipped that Ms. Monroe had breasts like melons and a brain like Swiss cheese. You can say it was a love/hate relationship.

I don't think in the history of cinema there has been a director more consistent than Wilder. Even Hitchcock had his ehhh moments. But name me a Billy Wilder film that didn't really ride...I dare you. In my subjective (and well-informed) opinion, there are none. One after another, after another, Wilder never faltered and excelled in every genre he tackled from Film Noir to slapstick comedy to puckish satire. If I was to try to put into a syntax his films from best to worst I couldn't possibly because each shines in their own way. Sunset Blvd. is just as good as Some Like it Hot, Double Indemnity is just as good as Ace in the Hole, One, Two, Three is just as good as The Apartment, the list goes on. All of his films are excellent leave it at that. So let's reserve to talking about one in particular. I've had many arguments with people about this film, it's one of two in his catalogue to win Best Picture honors and one that I always mistakenly put at the bottom of my list as in; well I like it but that's as far as that goes. I was wrong I admit it. 

Wilder with one of his favorite actors, Jack Lemmon. A man who really understood how to handle Wilder's material.

I'm talking about The Apartment. A film that most Wilder fans would say is their favorite so I by force of habit initially argued against it, but I no longer can, ok? You win people, it's genius, it's brilliant, it's everything, can I marry it? Considering Wilder was the king of making films with highly controversial themes and masking them so they slid right by the censors, this film really takes the cake. It concerns a mid-level insurance salesman of sorts C. C. Baxter (Jack Lemmon) who basically pimps out his apartment for his higher ups at the company so that he can get ahead and they can quietly cheat on their wives. Things take a turn when an adorable elevator operator named Fran Kubelik (Shirey MacLaine) attempts suicide after a particularly bad break up in said apartment with none other than Baxter's boss. This sounds like something that Aronofsky, Bigelow, or Jarmusch would direct today and it would be highly depressing, make everyone feel like they wanted to blow their brains out and win all the Academy Awards for being the most bleak film of the year with the most good cry moments. Surprise surprise it's a comedy. And only Wilder could do that. Well, it's a romantic comedy, but a comedy none-the-less, and if you think about the plot, you have to wonder how on earth it got passed the rigid Hollywood censorship board of 1960. 

C. C. Baxter (Lemmon) and Ms. Kubelik (MacLaine) share a moment. 

Also you might have noticed it has an element of being anti-capitalist (definitely a no-no for those times) but with Wilder's wit and flair for farce and satire, it coupled better than buttercream and red velvet cake. It's served as the basis for many films and shows that followed, particularly of our generation, hence it was way ahead of its time. American Beauty, regardless of being a sweaty piece of turd modeled the plot and mostly the plight of main character after The Apartment; and Matthew Wiener used the film as a blueprint for how an office would function and how people within it would act when he created Mad Men. Perhaps because it's not so far out there like Sunset Blvd., that it flew under my radar, but in retrospect that's its beauty. A film that has a clear message that doesn't beat you over the head with it is always a good one. Subtlety is a very difficult film language, and Wilder was the master of it. Jack Lemmon, a frequent collaborator of Wilder's said that when one reports to set with the script, the script is treated like the bible. Not a comma or apostrophe can be changed. 

All hail the king on his throne.

And all for the better. When Wilder finished a shooting script, there was no need to change a goddamn thing. He's one of the few that when the words went from his brain to the page, they were perfect. If we look at contemporary filmmakers, they seem to have one thing that they are good at, one genre that they shine in, or just one film that we can call 'flawless'. Wilder had about 40 of them. Think about that for a hot minute. On his tombstone is written 'Billy Wilder; I'm a Writer, but Then, Nobody's Perfect'. Even in death, the man had a joke for us and if you know where that joke came from, let's be besties. As I said before, there's little I can say about his films, or The Apartment in particular that the film can't tell you itself so do yourself a favor and watch them! 

Below, some clips to get you warmed up: 

What Do We Do Now? Coming to Terms with the End of an Era

The great big nostalgic horse pill we were all forced to swallow back in 2007 has finally passed through our system and we are left empty inside. Because while it inhabited every part of our beings for a good 7 seasons, life was good.  No matter how shitty your shitty, shitty life was, you knew that on Sunday night you could come home, or go to someone else's house dressed in a girdle and bright red dress and come together to watch a show that took us on so any twists and turns, the writers from LOST were dizzy. 

People (or haters) would say of Mad Men that it was long, boring, whatever fuck all of them. It's only so on the surface to those who read buzzfeed articles instead of news and have the attention span of a fruit fly. I'm sorry but this is a show that you actually have to sit down and devote 50 minutes a week to, with your fucking computer closed, your phone off, and a glass of wine in your hand. Yes it commands your attention only because it tells of the nature of man better than anything else TV has offered, yes better than Breaking Bad, yes better than The Wire, with characters more akin to the real nature of humanity than any actual person in the Reality TV cannon. 

All those in favor of a Sally Draper spin-off raise your hands. 

We all wanted to hate the characters on Mad Men because they could be vile, vicious, unforgiving, and constantly made mistakes. And we eventually realized, hey that's all of us. And what do the characters on Mad Men do? They just keep going...well except for (Spoiler Alert) Lane. RIP. 

And despite everything that life deals us that we believe to be unfair, we survive, and we overcome, even if the outcome is not exactly what we expected, we roll with the punches. Have I used up all of my life cliche's yet? Oh I have? Ok moving on. 

For a show so dark it ended on such a beautiful and lyrical positive note that we were all left teary messes, well at least maybe the girls. Perhaps what was most beautiful about it was the simplicity of it all. Unlike most season finale's, this was like 'what you see is what you get'. If you haven't watched the finale yet, you've probably read the insane amount of articles that came out analyzing it. Or reflecting on it, or crying tears all over their keyboard. In the end, it boils down to the following: The last 5 minutes of the show tell us that no matter how hard the journey is and has been for every principal from Peggy to Pete to of course Don, there is a time and place that they eventually find peace. It doesn't matter who wrote the coca-cola commercial (Don, not Peggy); what matters is that we as much as we don't want to, can leave these characters, and say goodbye graciously. Bravo Mad Men writers. 

The fabulous and simplistic symbolism of the falling man from every Mad Men intro still holds resonance. 

Ok Spoilers! 

Yes they killed off like some of my favorite people or nixed them from the show; Sal, Lane, Betty (yes I like Betty more than any woman on the show, yes she's not dead yet but she's told in the second to last episode that she has months to go), Paul up to a point, and poor Ginsburg with one nipple. And yes, people that were once endearing are complete a-holes right now; Megan, Pete, and even Peggy. But that's life isn't it. We can't always have great people in our lives, more importantly we can't always BE great people. That's the ultimate lesson isn't it. I read an article someone posted about how Mad Men understands our humanity better than any other show before or since. This is very true. And it's fascinating in its simplicity. We are flawed. Period. We have ups and downs. We have moments of great success and terrible turmoil. Some float and some sink. This is just life. No matter whom you thought you related to the most and who was your spirit animal you have to admit you could relate to anyone. I saw myself in Mrs. Blankenship for chrissake. 

Goodbye my friends.

Anyway, what do we do now? I think it's going to be hard for AMC to catch lightening in a bottle like that. One that was so brilliantly thought through, acted, and executed. This really was the beginning of the renaissance of TV...and now it's all over. I suppose we can go back to living our lives. But at least now we know what goes into an old fashioned. And how to be drunk and not give a fuck. More importantly how to climb that shaky ladder full of dirty protruding nails called life that manifests itself on the show as Sterling Cooper/Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce/ to eventually McCann Erikson. Whether you're a Peggy a Joan or a Pete...you never know what's in store for you. And whatever happens. It'll be ok. 

Below: The finale: 

Below: The very first trailer for the first season oh how things have changed.

Really Distasteful Halloween Costume Ideas

Yes, we are all aware that just like Sarah Palin in 2008, this year Miley's VMA outfit is going to be everywhere this Halloween. But did you ever think to dress up like Sarah Palin's child with downs? Didn't think so? Or perhaps just Miley's tongue? Here are some ideas that are sure to be not PC at all and really work as a conversation starter.

1. Amy Winehouse's Ghost. If you're into really looking terrifying for Halloween what better way to start. Amy looked like a walking corpse a long time before she kicked the bucket, so you wouldn't even have to work so much on the 'undead' look. Just pale yourself up a bit, it helps if you're seriously thin, and then do the beehive hairdo and the Cleopatra eyes. Or you can come as her date and bring a beehive wig duct taped to a broomstick. 

2. Casey Anthony. Now this is going to get even the liveliest, friendliest party all riled up. Get the big fly-eye sunglasses, a notebook, and a smug look on your face and if you want to go balls to the wall tasteless you can get a doll, cover it with death paint and scream 'not guilty' into people's faces. 

3. Melissa Gorga. For those of you not in the know, Melissa was a new edition to the Real Housewives of New Jersey clusterfuck being Teresa Guidice's sister-in-law and also the youngest and prettiest of all of them. So this one is easy, as much body glitter and fake tanning as you can find, a really skimpy outfit and try to self-autotune your voice whenever speaking. Also, it really helps if you carry around a book that you've made a hard cover of that reads 'I Advocate Marital Rape'

4. Don Draper's Conscience. This one is easy. Just wear all black, or a cape and say it's an invisibility cloak because he doesn't have one. Get it?

And I just had to leave you with this...

Best and Worst Dressed at the Emmy's (The Definitive List)

Not to blow my own horn or anything, but I do know quite a bit about fashion, so please trust that I know what I'm talking about here and stop listening to Kelly Osbourne. There were some serious winners and losers, and for me, there are a lot of things people got wrong. Here are my two cents. And as always, please take them as the holy gospel. 

Well start with the BEST: 

Aubrey Plaza in Marios Schwab. Yes, this is on my BEST DRESSED list, in fact it tops it. For all you haters out there, not only is Aubrey a quirky girl, but this dress is unique and mature and a huge fashion risk. I admire a risk taker, though the accessories are weird I'll give you that. It reminds me of that black and lace Alexander McQueen number Gwyneth Paltrow wore to the Oscars in 2000. Only difference is she couldn't even pull off a McQueen with the perfect body she has, but Aubrey with this pseudo-goth look is showing a grown up side of her querk. Bravo lady, I stand with you.

Sarah Hyland in Carolina Herrera. Talk about all grown up. Ironically Carolina Herrera is usually the go-to designer for Hyand's co-star on Modern Family (Sofia Vergara) but with the dark lipstick and the black lace, she's channeling a somewhat Deco darker side of the designer that Sophia would never dare to venture. Good job girlfriend.

Kerry Washington in Marchesa. Marchesa looks wonderful on everybody. She's kind of like the safety net of fashion on the red carpet. I love Scandal and I love Kerry Washington on it. I mean it's like clothes were basically sewn unto her. She usually looks fabulous in anything, and though a bit too floral, she pulls this one off. She looks radiant.

Linda Cardellini in Donna Karan. It's hard to forget Sarah Marshall in this. This fucia Donna Karan is above and beyond and yet it's subtle. It reminds me of that crazy Marchesa gown that Vera Farmiga wore to the Oscars when Up in the Air (2009) was nominated but a much more grown up, aesthetically complex and pleasing to the eye.

Taylor Schilling in Thakoon. I've personally never heard of this designer but the empire waste, high front slit, and simplicity of the gown all work very well accented by minimalist gold jewelery. I'll say it again, blondes look great in white. What more is there?

Kaley Cuoco in Vera Wang. Vera Wang usually does not do such complex numbers nor have I ever seen her do boning for a corset but this beet red gown is just so classy without being burlesque or desperate for attention, I have to give her major props. I love that she decided to minimalize the accessories as well because the dress stands perfectly on its own.

Sofia Vergara in Vera Wang. I tire of red dresses that match the red carpet and am way tired of mermaid dresses as well, not to mention I don't particularly like Sofia Vergara, but she ends up on my best dressed lists all the time...like all of them. You know why? Because she knows what looks good on her, has a body that won't quit, and makes it work bitches.

Zooey Deschanel in J. Mendel. Yay! J. Mendel made it to the red carpet! Yay! Zooey isn't wearing poofy tutu dresses anymore! Yay! She looks mature and amazing in a silvery light blue silk gown! Yay! She looks like the grown up woman that she is! Yay! The world is a better place.

Now on to the fun stuff...it's time for the hideous monstrosities that made my eyes water and my belly ache with disappointment and nausea. Yes, it's time for the WORST. 

Lena Dunham in Prada. Did you really think I would ignore this or not start there. What the fuck is this thing? It looks like a giant version of something in Zooey's closet from 5 years ago. Prada made this? Are you serious? And then they put it on slouchy Lena Dunham? Who's running the ship over there because it's about to hit some serious rocks. It looks like a table-cloth from the 50's. It's unflattering. It's beyond poorly tailored. It hurts me to even keep going on about it. So I'm stopping.

Heidi Klum in Versace. Heidi, you're a professional model, you're the executive producer of Project Runway. What the fuck are you thinking? You look like a wardrobe reject from Luc Besson's The Fifth Element (1997), This metallic, sequined, blood-red, fake-collared gown looks like it belongs in one of the Underworld sequels.

Amanda Peet in Erdem. Oh dear god what happened here? Did two dress cousins have the worst sex ever and give birth to a retarded dress that Amanda Peet totally thought was chic under the influence of ambien and vodka. There's no logic to this dress, so why try to find logic in her reason for Amanda giving herself the worst make-under I've ever seen, on purpose!

Zosia Mamet in Honor. This could be the worst thing I've ever laid eyes on. Grey and pink? Seriously? And what's with the leather mini-bra just taped on to the middle? This dress is too much of a mess for me to even know where to begin. It's a crime against humanity. But then again, so is her show.

Julianne Hough in Jenny Packham. A see-through dress that makes you look like you're wearing your granny panties on laundry day coupled with an off-the-shoulder look? Epic fail.

Claire Danes in Armani. This might be the best of the worst. It's just the wrong dress. On someone as fair-skinned as her, it looks ridiculous, also it looks bulky and it's way too low cut. I'm not to excited about the trimming either. Bad choice, but not the worst choice.

Anna Faris in Monique Lhuillier. Usually one of my favorite designers, but this dress has gone ape shit. It's far too prom night, and the mustard yellow color looks like something that glows under a black light. Coupled with retro Bettie Page bangs and a far too high of a slit, this was a disaster. My eyes hurt.

Jessica Paré in Oscar de la Renta. Oscar de la Renta is an artist among designers. He is a true innovator but this Tiffany's blue number is just not doing it for me. The shoes are all wrong, the top makes her look like she has no chest to speak of, and the front of the dress should not be higher than the back. Me no likey.

Betsey Brandt in what might have been the worst look of the night. I have no idea who designed this dress, quite frankly I'm convinced she picked it up at a Ross on the way to the awards because it is beyond hideous. The color washes her out, it's far from being age appropriate and makes her look like a stepford wife. Also, what the hell is up with the bouffant hairdo? It's just a mess all the way around.

Lena Headley in Alessandra Rich. This bitch keeps making my Worst dressed list all the time, keep at it girl, you're not getting any better. And she's an intelligent, refined woman, what is she thinking every time her stylist gives her advice? A high-slit see-through dress with nothing but what looks like black spanx to cover up your nether-regions? And white shoes? You look like you're dressing up as a dominatrix to a Halloween party thrown by Frat boys.

Also before we end this, I would just like to express my disdain that not one celebrity rocked a Zuhair Murad this season. He's the hottest designer on the planet right now, and being dressed by him is an honor. I can't believe it's been since J-Lo at last years Oscars that we've seen him on the red carpet. No fair.

Where Are They Now: Hot Guys of Black Hawk Down

When Black Hawk Down (Ridley Scott) was released in 2001 I saw it, count it, 4 times in the theater, that's not counting how many times I saw it after it was released on DVD. I didn't know what the Delta Force was, I didn't even know which part of Africa Somalia was in. But I'll tell you this much, pretty much every singe supporting player (and yeah the main players as well) were super hot and I couldn't get enough. Yeah, it was pornish you could say. They were all in uniform and heroic and all that jazz, and it's just so funny for me to now recognize them in some of the biggest shows/films today, it's like good job growing up, but I discovered your hotness first. I am the main reason for your success and you owe everything to me. Anyway, let's go down the list. 

Nikolaah Coster Waldau as MSG Gary Gordon

The biggest success from Black Hawk Down is obviously Nikolaj Coster-Waldau who stars in basically the biggest show of all time right now; Game of Thrones (which I DON'T watch so I have no idea if he's still on it or not, but he's also in that godawful disappointment of a film Mama (2013) and a bunch of other crap so he's definitely the breakout. And he had maybe 5 lines in Black Hawk Down, but believe your ass I didn't forget about him. I even learned how to pronounce his name properly out of respect. You probably still haven't done so. Get on it.

Tom Hardy as SPC Lance Twombly

Another obvious one is Tom Hardy, yeah he's in Black Hawk Down, for like 10 minutes, but I totally caught him. He was pretty gaunt back then and didn't exactly look like the massive sex-symbol he does now, but I got it, that's right people. Way before Chris Nolas was even writing Inception (2011) I was all over it. 

Charlie Hofheimer as Corporal Jamie Smith

Another one is Charlie Hofheimer. Who actually has a very dramatic death scene, so his role is pretty memorable (he tries to save Tom Hardy and is shot in a critical part of his leg and bleeds out). In case you don't recognize the name, he was a child actor actually who is currently on Mad Men as Peggy's leftist Marxist boyfriend (well ex-boyfriend now) Abe. He's hard to recognize with all that weird facial hair, but I can still dig it. 

Jeremy Piven is in Black Hawk Down and he's making it as a professional douche bag, moving on. 

Orlando Bloom is obviously in Black Hawk Down, in fact I remember it came out the same year as the first installment of Lord of the Rings; The Fellowship of the Ring (2001) and that's why the theater was mysteriously filled with teenage idiots. 

Kim Coates takes the edge off by sketching as Master Sergeant Tim "Griz" Martin

Kim Coates is another one if you blinked, you missed. He dies a pretty gruesome death, and has little over 2 lines, and he's doing really well for himself on the highly underrated show; Sons of Anarchy, because let's face it, he looks like he belongs in a biker gang, which just makes him hotter. 

Get this, Ty Burrell was in the fucking film. Yeah, TV's new favorite dad on Modern Family was in Black Hawk Down too. Bet you didn't catch that one did ya? 

Hugh Dancy in his big scene as Sergeant First Class Kurt "Doc" Schmid.

And let's end with my personal favorite. I saw the film, and there was one scene I played over and over again. It's Charlie Hofheimer's death scene where the medic Kurt Schmidt tries with futility to save the poor soldier. He was played by a little known British actor named Hugh Dancy, which began a renaissance in my loins, and I think after that I rented every fucking film he was ever in, and now he plays opposite Madds Mikkelsen on Hannibal when he's not playing second banana to his wife; Claire Danes...bitch.

Just When Mad Men Gets Boring It Gets Interesting Again

Lost Bette gets some help and more from an unexpected source.

Let's admit, season 6 has been less than stellar and more than predictable. I think it's like the whole cast is starting to get sick of it all and when your party host is tired themselves and passing out on the couch it's time to leave the party. But this last episode had so many unexpected turns that I think it was a last try to get this show back to up and running status rather than dead in the water status. Adding so many new characters and neglecting the base ones was clearly not a good strategy so they decided to go back to basics. 

They must have noticed that even the most die-hard Mad Mennies were starting to despise Don Draper, and without him, there is no show, so enough with him being a totally sadistic borderline rapist romantic novel villain and just mellow him out why don't ya. Which is what they did, the episode wasn't exactly about him, all of the main characters had an interesting arc this time. Through the filter of unseen and unexpected desire, they explored many of the characters' primal vices. 

tension brews between the not so happy couple.

Maybe it was a desperate attempt to recapture the magic of the first few seasons, but it worked. Peggy and her scruffy leftist, marxist scribbler boyfriend Abe are at odds like an old married couple because basically she won't let him be a man. All of the decisions run through her, and she doesn't even let him to house renovation work. It's like working in advertising and having to compete with Don for so long has made her grown a penis. This tension comes to a shocking climax when the unsafe neighborhood that they live in (the upper west side, oh my god scariest place on earth) makes her so paranoid that she accidentally stabs him right in the stomach with I think the end of a lamp or something I don't know, I just know I hadn't had this much exhilarating fun watching a show since that poor Brit had his foot run over with a lawn mower at Sterling Cooper. 

Peggy and Abe go through some serious shit, had they stayed together afterwards, and it's not clear if they do, it would make for a great story to tell at parties.

There's also lesbian tension between Megan and her agent/costar who is clearly crushing on her, but she's brutally rebuffed, like Megan is Garbo or somebody. That other woman could get anyone she wants. Don just happens to be away getting his son Bobby ready for camp and guess who's there to surprise him, the character we all love to hate and cringe at the mere sound of her voice; Bette (forget what her current last name is). And what ends up happening? Well you guess. It has been a while since they've done nothing but fight, and she has lost all that weird weight and dyed her hair back to blonde. She looks almost exactly the same as she did when the series started and can't help being irresistible to men again. Her husband isn't there, and his wife is at home, perfect timing, and you know what? As sick as it is to think of Don and Bette in bed again I actually enjoyed it. I was glad it happened. It made us understand how lonely Don actually is because he spent his entire adult life pushing people away. Anyway, I was satisfied after watching this, and I haven't been able to say that about Mad Men in a while, so Bravo!

Grab an Old Fashioned, Old Don is Back!

Drinking buddies for life.

I don’t know about you but I found the premiere of Season 6 of one of the most dynamic and incendiary shows on TV right now to be somewhat of a snoozefest. It was all about showing us symbolically (and sometimes outright) how people had changed in the time’s passing. It’s almost 1970, and the men have grown ridiculous beards, including Pete Campbell’s new mutton chops (I mean what the fuck was that).

The most interesting transformation was that of Peggy who now seems more masculine in her new gig, as if she’s becoming the new Don Draper, she has people coming to her for advice, orders others around, hair cut more prim and proper and in total control of her emotions. Cool as a cucumber, and androgynous as fuck.

Party like it's 1969. Drop your keys in the bowl on your way in.

This was needed because guess who’s back? The OLD Don Draper. We find him wasted at Roger’s mother’s funeral and throwing up which was hilarious, and then by the end of the finally he’s got Lindsay Weir of all people (Linda Cardellini) lying on top of him. Basically, Old Don is back. There’s no longer the soul-searching, happily married, fatherly, sober, boring Don. Now the womanizer, the chain smoker, the boozer Don is back, and I couldn’t be happier. Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce was getting to be a bit drab, but now with Old Don, and Joan as silent partner (yet not so silent) I have faith that even without Layne (rest in piece on a rope), they will continue to thrive, mutton chops and all.

Trouble looming on the perfect marriage? Most definitely

The question remains is how are they going to deal with the sexual revolution impending on everyone’s heads now that the 70’s are looming and they’ve already taken acid trips and tried to see the Rolling Stones in the flesh. The only thing left is wife swapping, so getting with the times, I suppose Don is going to partake, while Roger gets involved in a really gross 70’s orgy, the kind you see in the worst of John Holmes movies, but those are questions waiting to be answered, and I for one can’t wait. Hopefully this premiere episode wasn’t an indication because I’m sick of all of the existential self-aggrandizement that Don experience mmmmmmm…every single fucking episode. I want the old Don back, and I’m glad they’ve answered my prayers.