So the production of Bohemian Rhapsody is well under way with director Bryan Singer who debuted with The Usual Suspects back in the 90's and went on to make no more good movies, and of class action lawsuit for having sex with underaged boys at his Hollywood mansion fame. Just so you know, this production went through like 18 casting changes and I don't even know how many fall outs over creative differences. Apparently the gramps with amps, leftovers of Queen; Brian May and drummer Roger Taylor want to make it more about the band than a Fred bio-pic. Let's be real, people only liked or in my case loved Queen because of Fred Mercury. He was the creative glue that gifted us with truly one of the most amazing stage presences and one that seems impossible for imitation, some of the most innovative songs in the Rock 'n Roll cannon, and an unforgettable voice making him truly one of the greatest front men of any era. And without him, the others would have faded into obscurity before the 70's even started. Sasha Baron Cohen was in line to play him and I supported that. He has a great voice as he's proved in the terrible film Les Miserables, and it's an inspiring casting decision considering he's a comic actor but has a presence and eccentricity factor akin to Mercury himself. Then they cast Ben Whishaw, I mean...whatever. Eventually it all fell on Rami Malek's gorgeously flawless shoulders, and early release photos are indicative that he's got this down. What is kind of annoying, aside from having a confirmed rapist directing a film about one of my favorite icons of music, is that Freddie has been dead for 20 years, his long time lover and life partner Jim Hutton died in 2010, and Brian and Roger are the only ones who 'want to do Freddie justice' granted, they know him very well, they were like a family, a band is a marriage blah blah blah, but it still seems like this would be their baby and their interpretation of Fred's legacy rather than an objective homage to this god-like figure. Well, we'll see. In this spirit of this highly anticipated film here's a list of other very inspired casting decisions in music bio-pics
The film culminates in Queen's iconic performance at Live Aid in 1985.
Val Kilmer as Doors frontman Jim Morrison and everyone in the supporting cast of Across the Universe can fuck off.
Also goes without saying that Jamie Foxx and Ray Charles and Angela Bassett as Tina Turner are iconic and it their performances are basically seamless. So here are some lesser-known imitators.
Sissy Spacek as Loretta Lynn in Coal Miner's Daughter because well yeah.
O'Shea Jackson Jr. as his own father Ice Cube in Straight Outta Compton. That's quite the responsibility, in fact I kinda dig the whole cast of the film.
Gary Oldman's premiere performance as Sid Vicious in Sid and Nancy. I remember thinking; holy shit who is that. They found his fucking twin, also they make being a junkie look pretty glamorous. Also, lest we forget, this is the film premiere of one Courtney Love. (Strangely not as Nancy Spungen).
Most bio-pics about The Beatles really suck. This isn't that. In Nowhere Boy, Aaron Taylor-Johnson plays a very young John Lennon in his art school days, wanting to start a skiffle band and reuniting with his estranged mother only to have her die in a car accident a few months later. He meets Paul McCartney and the seeds of the Beatles are planted. It's really not about the band at all, and Aaron Taylor-Johnson gives a very mature performance while being only 17 during shooting and falling in love with his director Sam Taylor-Wood...they went on to get married despite the 33 year age difference, and she went on to direct Fifty Shades of Grey...it was a simple time.
The main cast of The Runaways. Yeah Dakota Fanning and Kristen Stewart did Twilight movies together, but let's just forget that happened for two seconds and focus on this tiny film where no doubt the main cast had to take major salary cuts in order to play one of the most important glitter rock/punk rock cross over all-girl bands in an era of cock rock. But i'm sure Dakota and Kristen could afford it with their Twilight money to play Cherie Currie and Joan Jett respectfully. They actually nailed it. Teenage chicks in corsets and electric guitars...in the 70's...it was just so damn cool. I miss them.
professional alcoholic and pouty lip caddy John Rhys-Meyers was only 21 when he undertook the role of Bryan Slade; a Marc Bolan and David Bowie hybrid in Velvet Goldmine, hands down, one of my favorite films; one of my favorite sub-genre's of music; Glam rock. Directed by one of my favorite living filmmakers Todd Haynes, so really pretty fucking perfect.
Ewan McGregor; same movie. Curt Wild was an amalgam of two of my favorite musicians; Iggy Pop and Lou Reed. And all the other favorites I mentioned prior, so you get it.
Out of the 7 actors that played a version of Bob Dylan, Cate Blanchett definitely outshines all of them in I'm Not There (again, by Todd Haynes), not just because of the gender fluidity, but her speaking style, mannerisms, and attitude of Bob Dylan during his rock transition was absolutely something else. She should have won the Oscar that year. You know what? She should win every Oscar she's nominated for.
Oddly hot weirdo Joaquin Phoenix as Johnny Cash in Walk the Line was the role he was born to play. It was nuanced and really worked on, you could tell that it was almost an immersion and not an imitation.
Petit Frenchy Marion Cotillard won an Oscar for her performance of national treasure Edith Piaf. I kind of am severely in love with Edith Piaf, the first music I listened to was all of her recordings, so it's kind of an unhealthy obsession. I truly believe that no better music exists. A lot comes close but Piaf poured her heart into every song and the passion of her voice gets under your skin and grabs you by the spine. This metaphor is not making any sense. She is the greatest torch singer to ever torch sing, and the pain of her life is in every note she hits. Marion did her own singing, and she nailed the fuck out of this.
Once we lost the bone corset and the hoop skirt made out of wire (basically sounds like articles that belong in a torture chamber rather than on a woman's body) fashion changed quite drastically. After the suffrage movement, there was a big need for women to behave, look, and mimic men. The 20's era of women's fashion wasn't the most feminine, but it was quite unique. It was a time where a dress that goes above the ankle was still scandalous. The dresses were ones that hung like oversized burlap sacks over the feminine physique because they also lost the need to wear girdles or bras. They decorated them with fringe, rhinestones, and feathers, cut their hair short like men so it would be less to handle. It was a way of becoming more masculine while still showing off the beauty of womanhood. The make up of the times also changed drastically, considering at the turn of the century, there was barely any make up being worn by women, except for in high society circles. To touch on the opposite side of the spectrum, dark lipstick and eye-liner took over, where women started to look like burlesque performers and/or clowns. One woman in particular took that sentiment to a very literal level; Marlene Dietrich wore a tuxedo in Morocco and subsequently many times in real life. She later said that she never dressed for a man's attention, but for 'the look'.
Joan Crawford in a gown by Adrian who was the foremost designer for celebrity dresses in the 1930's, making all of his women more feminine, beautiful, and chic.
By the thirties, things had settled, the right to vote was ours and we as a species had calmed down. The dresses became flowy and long with empty backs and were made out of silk and satin. They were curve hugging and striking, very much accentuating the female anatomy. Now that most women had started to work; mostly as shop girls and stenographers, while in the office they would don pencil skirts and fitted suits adorned with fur. Katherine Hepburn was one of the few brave souls of that era to always wear pants. It was a risky move that eventually became her trademark. Later in life, she was asked if she even owned a skirt by Barbara Walters and she quipped 'I have one, I'll wear it to your funeral'.
Grace Kelly encapsulated demure but still eye-catching fashion of the 1950's, of course barely anyone looked like her or had a body that carried clothes better.
Let's skip on over to the 50's and early 60's. Tiny wastes were in, as were shoulder pads, and demure button-downed dresses. The woman had moved back to the kitchen, was prescribed dexedrine and spent her day doing laundry and vacuuming. Just think of Betty Draper in the first two seasons of Mad Men. This is why vamps like Marilyn Monroe with her low cut dresses that she was basically sewn into was such a scandal. With a body built for sin, she had no reservations about hiding it, especially because in the start, it was her bread and butter.
Marilyn Monroe in her infamous 'Happy Birthday Mr. President' dress made of nude-colored fabric and beads that barely hid anything and definitely made a statement. It was the pinnacle of her penchant for shocking fashion statements.
By the late 60's, with the second wave of feminism being a prominent force in American dissent, pants were now just as common on women as they were on men. It was a questionable time for fashion. Low-riders (I don't care how flat your stomach is) are not flattering, neither are elephant flares and knits. But by the Summer of Love, we were lucky people were wearing ANYTHING. The hair got long and unkempt, and basically it was a free-for-all, I suppose the biggest fashion icons of that time were Ali McGraw and Barbara Streisand, who each in their own way, made the questionable fashion choices of that era chic.
Dustin Hoffman pulled off the horrible fashion statements of the 80's much better than any woman on celluloid that I can remember.
The 80's...why don't we skip that. We can sum it up in very few words; shoulder pads, flacid bows, and Laura Ashley. It was perhaps the most unflattering time for women's fashion. Someone once said that the shoulder pad problem was so bad that women clearly wanted to look like a bunch of line backers. Perhaps the female fashion icon of the 80's is Dustin Hoffman in Tootsie.
Believe it or not, my mother dressed me like this for the majority of my adolescence still when I started dressing myself in Birkenstocks, electric blue eye-shadow, and micro-mini's, I have to say she had the right idea.
Now, on to the era that I really love...and also hate to a degree, the icons of which were Courtney Love in her baby doll dress and lace up pleather boots, Kate Moss and her androgynous skinny jeans and oversized t-shirts, and of course Jennifer Aniston as Rachel Green with that hair cut we all remember, and down-to-earth casual 90's style. It was a time to get back to basics. But for some reason I was always dressed in embellished Blossom-esque hats, velvet overalls, and fake suspenders (I'm serious). The 90's were definitely two eras of fashion. The early ones were all about women dressing very earthy like they are standing in line for Lilith Fair tickets, and the second part was filled with body glitter, cargo pants, and plum lipstick. Thanks for that Gwen Stefani.
Walking art. Nicole Kidman was the only one in my opinion that could pull off a designer gown better than the model on the runway.
And what are we up to now? Thank god the first decade of the 00's is over and we no longer wear Juicy Couture, trucker hats, and midriff tops (it was such a dark time). One fashion icon that has held her own for close to two decades now and still doesn't miss a beat and always ends up on everyone's Best Dressed list is Nicole Kidman. With the body of a porcelain doll that eats a rice cake a year, she can wear sweat pants from Walgreens or Valentino couture and make it look gorgeous. Not that she'd ever be caught dead in sweat pants. Taylor Swift also has her whole renewed image going. Starting from a country bumpkin look with her long blonde curly hair, and cowboy boots to a closet full of Louboutins and sailor shorts (also, since when did the cat become an accessory, much better than Paris Hilton's ferret, am I right?). My current favorite has to be a cross between Emma Watson and Tilda Swinton who both got back on the androgyny train and still manage to make it look sexy, feminine and incredibly chic. Whether on the red carpet wearing Balenciaga couture or grocery shopping, they are on fleek (can't believe I just said that). It's important to mix the feminine sensuality with sophistication and they've both done so brilliantly while being about 20 years apart in age. Oh and by the way, wearing a lot of designer high-end clothing does NOT make you chic. Every red carpet Kristen Stewart attends she's draped in Zuhair Murad (one of the most innovative designers right now) and she can't even stand up straight? It's a crime to fashion...and to women. Now if we could just lose the skinny jeans, the ironic vintage T's, and the raccoon eye-make up we'd actually have a good era going on right now. Let's get at it.
We all know that the Academy Awards are more political than a presidential race, but we keep watching every year, and that's why when we fill out ballots (that is if we're really into it) we have a separate ballot for whom we secretly hope will win that we know will not because they're not in good standing with the committee, because the competition is too fierce, or they dropped too many F-bombs. Whatever the case may be, perhaps George C. Scott got it right when he straight up refused to show up to pick up his golden idol for his bravura performance in Patton and when it was mailed to him he mailed it back. 'It ain't nothing but a meat parade' he said. And it's sad but true that for the most part, actors especially are not given awards based on the actual merit of their performance, but for circumstance. Here's a list of some of the most grievous sins of omission in Oscar history. There are way too many for me to cover the entire spectrum so let's just focus on the acting categories...for now. By the way, this is just the tip of the iceberg, there are countless others, these are just the first ones that come to mind. In no particular order...
Anna
Magnani got her start as an icon of Italian Neo-Realism, and made her transition
into American films with the help of her #1 fan; Tennessee Williams who adapted
his play The Rose Tattoo to film
specifically for her. And to impress Tennessee Williams is no small
accomplishment. But going back to Italian neo-realism, one has to really be
something beyond method and dig into the depths of their soul so roughly that
there’s nothing to do but suffer and cry through your performance so that your
audience can fully understand your struggle.
Gena
Rowlands could be the greatest actress of all time second only to Meryl Streep.
I would go as far as to say she’s perhaps even better, and with her director
being her genius husband John Cassavetes, he worked her like a horse in a mine
so that she could turn out the most heartbreaking and nuanced performances that
touch on the female condition without beating you over the head with her
plight. She embodied every part she played, and some were so down right
complicated and layered that a ‘regular’ actress would be doomed to mess up.
She is so intelligent as an actress that she knows exactly how to peel open all
of those complex layers and get to the heart of her character.
Leonardo
DiCaprio was first nominated at 19 for his role in What’s Eating Gilbert Grape, since then he’s turned in some
amazing performances, and some not so much performances; (We all remember The
Beach) Oh you don’t? It’s because no one saw it, but as good as Matthew McConaughey’s
performance was in Dallas Buyer’s Club,
I think we can all agree that DiCaprio’s ballsy, spared no expense take on
Jordan Belfort in The Wolf of Wall Street
should have given him unquestionable rights to that golden statue.
Joaquin
Phoenix seems to be the one that’s always robbed because of politics. The
Academy just doesn’t like him no matter how brilliant he can be on screen, and
I’m not just talking about his Johnny Cash. Working with Gus Van Sant
throughout his youth definitely gave him the right training, and even in his
teens, his performances were intelligent, thought provoking, and full of
swagger. This culminated with his masterful performance in (excuse the pun) The Master, but he was upstaged by
Philip Seymour Hoffman in the same film. Even though no one won for that film
that year. Another oversight.
Judy
Garland won some kind of fake Oscar for ‘Most Promising Juvenile Performer’ or
something like that which has since been omitted (thank god), but seriously?
Judy? No Oscar? I object! Not only is she a screen legend, and an icon not only
of cinema but of culture itself, it seems almost criminal that this
unbelievably talented shooting star never got her golden statue.
Naomi
Watts is an actress that has time, but in my opinion has already proved herself
worthy of a golden statue. She was introduced to us with one hell of a bang in Mulholland Drive, and has been going
strong ever since. The problem with her is that her performances, no matter how
en pointe, are just not Oscar fodder. Her two nominations for The Impossible and 21 Grams are great examples of what this woman is capable of. She’s
very much on her way, and she’s on the Meryl Streep track. I expect great
things of her in the future, and hopefully the Academy will eventually
recognize that too.
Jake
Gyllenhaal is very young and also has plenty of time, but to only have one
nomination for Brokeback Mountain,
and getting completely overlooked for his incomparable performance in Nightcrawler is just plain wrong. I’m
sure he’ll garner a few in his career to come, but it still seems like a huge
oversight. As brilliant as Heath Ledger was in the former mentioned film, I
would argue that Gyllenhaal’s bare soul performance was perhaps even better. He
shines in everything he undertakes. Hopefully this will get noticed very soon.
Cary
Grant was another that has that ‘thank you for your body of work’ Oscars, which
is basically let’s give them one before they kick the bucket kind of awards.
You’re probably thinking this is a mistake but look it up, even the iconic Cary
Grant who was Hitchcock’s favorite collaborator has 0 under his belt. One of
his wives once said she thought that he played the same role in every movie,
and who cares? He played facets of Cary Grant; that deserves an Oscar in my
opinion.
Montgomery
Clift was perhaps the greatest actor of all time never to receive an Oscar, and
he made no point in hiding how much he wanted one. He was ‘a serious actor’ if
ever there was a more perfect example, and from his first film to his last, he
turned out absolutely flawless performances. He was trained by the Lunts as a
child on Broadway, then studied the method with Strassberg before employing his
own personal acting coach, just like Marilyn Monroe had. But his self-destructive
behavior sadly overshadowed his intense raw talent. All you have to do is watch
his 6-minute role in Judgment at
Nuremberg (his last film) to see the absolute raw talent of this man.
Marilyn
Monroe has 1 Golden Globe for Best Comedic Performance by a Woman in Some Like It Hot and that’s it. You
might want to disagree with me here because she’s known for playing dumb
blondes, but that’s only half of it. Marilyn, wanting desperately to be taken
seriously as an actress, and already being established, did something totally
unexpected and moved to New York to start over, mastering her craft under the
watchful guidance of Lee Strassberg who later became her mentor. Watch her
performances in Bus Stop and The Misfits; those are performances.
They aren’t just Monroe on screen.
Perhaps I was inspired by my current Netflix queue, but I just finished a lazy rainy Sunday full of sexy and raunchy European films, because I totally have a life and I'm super cool. maybe it's because Europeans understand sex better, or maybe because they give absolutely no shits, and over there, it's dirty to show someone's head blowing off rather than someone's pubic hair, they just seem to get it right when it comes to Original Sin. Whether it's erotica, vanilla romance, straight-up kinky shit, and especially unsimulated sex, they've got it down. Having no filter really pays off. We as Americans have a total black and white approach to it. Because we're a kindergarten country. It's either way extreme and niche like the faux kink sweaty piece of sex bullshit; Fifty Shades of Grey (directed by a Brit, and written by a Brit, but still in the American idiom done for American audiences); or it's the most watered down single-girl fodder known to man in the tradition of Nicholas Sparks adaptations. So here are my picks. A lot of them fall (unavoidably so) into that 'controversial' category, while others straight up got the kiss of death with a dreaded NC-17 rating which basically goes to show that we're a country of people that just can't handle anything that is just a little too visceral. These are in order, we'll start from the bottom and go to the best.
20. Caligula (dir. Bob Guccione). Anything starring Malcolm McDowell and produced by Dino de Laurentis with a screenplay by Gore Vidal you shouldn't expect to be a comfy ride. Full of incest, full frontal nudity, and a birthing scene that might be more uncomfortable than sitting through an actual birth this film checks every box for what we consider to be sexual obscenity. And it's fabulous. It's ancient Rome, not a landlocked Midwestern city in the 50's.
19. Diary of a Nymphomaniac (dir. Christian Molina) this Spanish gem I don't even think had theatrical distribution in the states. It's a no-holds barred feminist farce on what it's like to be a nymphomaniac and the meteoric rise and fall of one. It's not easy, especially when pesky things like love get in the way.
18. 9 Songs (dir. Michael Winterbottom). A director known in the UK for being sexually incendiary, this is probably in the Guinness Book of World Records for having the most unsimulated sex scenes in one feature. It's not just a one off like The Brown Bunny. It's literally like watching a relationship. A normal one, where two people have sex...they do other stuff too, but this is one of those rare occasions that puts the sex front and center.
17. Young and Beautiful (dir. Francois Ozon) I am a huuuuuuge Ozon fan. I think no one photographs, writes, or understands young women quite like him. This is the first of a few directors who are on this list more than once and no one deserves it more. It's the story of a reluctant whore. Are we noticing a pattern here? I think so.
16. Chansons d'Amour (Jean Genet) Quick history/culture lesson. Listen up babies. Jean Genet is basically a French national treasure. He was arrested in the 40's for vagrancy, among other things (but mostly for being gay which was against the law at the time) a brilliant playwright and poet, this is his only film based on his encounters while in a French prison. If you ever took an avant-garde film class you probably saw it. If you haven't go on ubuweb.com. You're welcome.
15. Sleeping Beauty (dir. Julia Leigh). And yet another hooker movie. Here's the twist, the beginning of the story is somewhere we've all been girl in financial trouble from student loans (take a lesson, Vera) looking desperately for a way to make extra money. She finds a gig, might be the weirdest form of hookerdome we've ever seen. She's basically given a sleeping pill cocktail every day and has to basically be a dead body to men who get off on stuff like that. However disturbing it is, a lot of naked Emily Browning is never a bad thing.
14. Sytiracon (dir. Federico Fellini). Another ancient rome orgy film, only this one is by Fellini, so I think it's one of the best things ever. togas, wine, and general sexual ambivalence, this film definitely has everything. Literally.
13. Belle du Jour (dir. Luis Bunuel). If you don't get a little hot watching Catherine Deneuve in her underwear check yourself for a pulse. The end.
12. Y Tu Mama Tambien (dir. Alfonso Cuaron). Native Mexican filmmaker, Cuaron made a film in his hometown which is perhaps the most graphic coming-of-age story ever. Pun fully intended. It launched the careers of Gael Garcia Bernal and Diego Luna, and a film that starts and ends with full nudity is one not worth missing. PS it was nominated for it's almost perfectly splendid script. Watch it, if you haven't already I'm judging you.
11. The Dreamers (dir. Bernardo Bertolucci). A film for perverts and film lovers, and sometimes those can be mutually exclusive. Michael Pitt plays a young American studying in Paris in the mid-60's and chances upon a brother and sister cinephile team who have a strange relationship from the word go. Together they'll bring the term 'threesome' to a whole other level.
10. And God Created Woman (dir. Roger Vadim) The film that introduced a naked Brigitte Bardot to the world. I'm surprised theater screens didn't catch on fire. No one before or since in the European film idiom has been so sensual...arguably.
9. Blue is the Warmest Color (dir. Abdellatif Kechiche) I don't remember a film that generated so much controversy before it was even released. Along with it came accolades from the Academy to Cannes. It's universally considered not only one of the most beautiful love stories, but also one of the best films of the year and perhaps the decade. Brilliantly acted by Adele and Lea in the two principal roles, it's one not to be missed.
8. Bad Education (dir. Pedro Almodovar). I know what you're thinking, why is this the Almodovar film she picked? I absolutely love it, and I never understood critics who thought it was one of his weakest. Bernal outdoes himself in drag, and as a personal piece, granted all of Almodovar films are in one way or another, but one that really expresses his passion for cinema is always a treat. Also there's a lot of naked Bernal in it.
7. The Cook, The Thief, His Wife, and Her Lover (dir. Peter Greenaway). I was just re-watching this film today. It is so beautifully experimental surreal and downright weird. It's a formalistic masterpiece. With the avant-garde set dressing and costumes designed exclusively by Jean-Paul Gaultier and incomparable performances by Helen Mirren and Michael Gambon, this is truly in my opinion one of the greatest films of all time.
6. Swimming Pool (dir. Francois Ozon). Ludivine Sagnier plays the promiscuous Julie who has moved unannounced back to her father's place in the French countryside disrupting the life of writer Sarah Morton (Charlotte Rampling) who has just come up there in a fit of writer's block to find some solace which is now made impossible by Julie's constant philandering drinking and general debauchery
5. Sex and Lucia (dir. Julio Medem). Paz Verga, perhaps one of the most gorgeous women on the planet plays someone who's seriously unlucky in love. With more sex scenes than probably all American films from the past 5 years put together against a beautiful non-linear backdrop of secrets, lies, and a Spanish island, this film is breathtaking in every way. Also there's an areola on the poster. There ya go.
4. Nymphomaniac Parts I and II. (dir. Lars von Trier). Lars von Trier really hates sex, and women, and everything...oh and Jews lest we forget. But this film is really really sexy. None of the advertising points to that because he photographs sex as it is. No romance, no flickering candles, and no feelings a lot of the time. This is sex stripped down to its bare animalistic, selfish, and at times maniacally impulsive nature. Thanks Denmark!
3. The Night Porter (dir. Liliana Cavani). And yet another film directed by a woman. This also stars Charlotte Rampling in the most unsexy of places. She's a young Jewish woman who's been sent to a work camp during the Holocaust. Yes it's frightening. A German guard at the camp becomes infatuated with her and makes her his sex slave basically which comes with a lot of privilege. It's perhaps the most perverted scenario imaginable, and yet, it's still somehow romantic. We women, we're a clever bunch.
2. Last Tango in Paris (dir. Bernardo Bertolucci). I know a lot of people that would disagree with me on this, in fact so vehemently that they'll get all oh-hell-no on me, but you know what despite 'that infamous scene' I still find both Brando and Schneider completely sexy together in this film. For the most part their sexual chemistry is right on. But I find it hard to imagine Brando not having good sexual chemistry with anyone.
1. Lust, Caution (dir. Ang Lee). Here's another film by a director who's made so many sensually stunning films, but this one is head and shoulders above the rest. Lust, Caution is not a pretty film. It's not romantic, well maybe...but it's not rainbows and butterflies put it that way. It's a very dark film, and there are some insanely graphic scenes in it that somehow manage to remain highly erotically charged and incredibly sexy. Winner winner chicken dinner.
