Casual Racism #SquadGoals

Happy 4th White America!

There was a great article after 1989 came out by I think (and pray) Judith Butler or Linda Williams (there goes my academia swag card) that labeled Taylor Swift and her 'squad' a bunch of neo-nazi Barbies. I tried to find it, and if you Google Search 'Taylor Swift Nazi' you get about 2 million results; the most compelling of which is this one. It's not difficult to see why that is. I'm sorry but Taylor has been selling herself as kind of a faux Jill-of-all-trades, twerking in her 'Shake it Off' video, and most recently blatantly ripping off Beyonce's 'Formation' video with 'Look What You Made Me Do'. She's a tall Aryan-AF looking blonde who loves to play the victim; and what do white nationalists do aside from playing the victim all the time.

Taylor's go-to music video director Joseph Kahn tweeted that the 'Look What You Made Me Do' video is not in Beyonce's art space ...I beg to differ. 

Perfect example: Kanye the villainous African American man is ruining the 'reputation' of a helpless young white girl. What is this, 'Birth of a Nation'? (The D.W. Griffith version). All you have to do is watch the Viceland documentary on the Charlottesville rally to see why that is. I won't go as far as to say that she's their cultural icon, but she's strange not to denounce the rumors much like Trump. However she has no trouble denouncing rumors about her flimsy and flighty love life...hm. But most of this started when the whole squad became a thing. She surrounded herself with tall blonde girls who looked just like her. It was only when she received criticism for that, that she 'allowed' Zendaya in her clique. Like the whole world is her basic Aryan high school. I think Zendaya is doing just fine without her. 

Squad goals?

Cultural appropriation is just as bad as outward racism in my opinion, so let's move on to the greatest 'culture vultures' of our time; Kendall and Kylie just can't help fucking up can they? Let's get this out of the way. They are white girls. Sometimes, I like to see what idiots on social media are getting up to, and it doesn't look any better for either of them. Firstly, the unspeakable and tone-deaf Pepsi commercial that would have ruined anyone's career that Kendall miraculously survived, where some genius thought that to make her the face of the Black Lives Matter movement was a good idea. Then came the T-shirt line. If you don't know, let me catch you up. Kendall and Kylie are so obsessed with their own faces they decided to super-impose them unto T-shirts of album covers by Biggie and Tupac. Are you fucking kidding me? And because they wanted to market it for basic bitches, the gave it a vintage look and charged a hefty 125.00$ price tag for them before quickly removing them from the market.

I'm sure the Muslim community is totally fine with this. 

Kendall herself is also getting quite a bit of flack because her IG is chalk full of offensive and insensitive imagery such as her dressed up in a Hijab, to a shirt with a confederate flag on it. Also, lest we forget, she tagged a photo of herself and her sisters with the caption; 'girl power ...sister power' with a fist bump emoji on it. Only problem is that the fist bump color was basically three emojis darker than white, implying she was somehow on board the brazen cultural appropriation train without actually doing anything for the community that she is stealing from. I think my fave response to that bullshit was a girl who told her straight up to stick in her emoji lane.

Tupac always wanted his legacy to be two white girls' initials over his image.

The most recent BS regarding members of Taylor Swift's Aryan squad that's popped up is with supermodel Gigi Hadid. You'd think she gets a pass because she's half Semitic; born to a Dutch mother and a Palestinian father. And yet, she got a shitload of well-deserved flack when she announced that she would be walking in the Victoria Secret fashion show that would be held in Shanghai this year. Now, don't think that because she's not full blood that she doesn't enjoy white privilege. Her entire life was spent in Malibu living with her mother and rich, white stepfather, David Foster. Perhaps you're the biggest asshole when you don't admit that yeah you enjoy the fuck out of white privilege. Anyway, someone managed to dig up an IG video of her at a Chinese restaurant with her sister Bella, who did a weird quasi and really racist Asian bow, as Gigi held up her cookie in the shape of a Buddha face and squinted. That's some ratchet shit right there. 

Presented without comment. 

Now yeah, these things may seem minimal, but this is how it starts. And with racial tensions at an all time high, I'd be a bit more careful if I was a cultural icon, especially one that children look up to ...for some reason. Ana Navarro? No thanks ...Kendall. They're role models whether they like it or not, and people are just not having anymore of their casual racism. You don't get away with everything just because you're pretty, ladies. 

Emmy's 2015 - Best and Worst Dressed

The Emmy's were a bit of a snoozefest in everything between the beginning and end. Some wonderful wins like Viola Davis, Uzo Aduba, and of course Jon Hamm made me ecstatic, and Andy Samberg was a pretty competent host...I guess. But let's get down to what really matters, the outfits. Most of them were horrid, just not going to lie and say it right now. A big trend this year was the Hillary Clinton pants suit, and I was surprised but I totally loved all of them from Lea Delaria to Jill Soloway. The Annie Hall look is back ya'll, nothing wrong with wearing pants on a red carpet and most ladies rocked it. Unfortunately, those in gowns totally went ape shit and made the red carpet into some kind of circus fiasco. Here's my brutal best and worst dressed list, back by popular demand. (By the way, let's just announce the winners and losers right now) Best Dressed: Lady Gaga, worst dressed: Heidi Klum. Phew, that felt good. Well here we go...let's start with best as not to scare you. 

BEST: 

Sofia Vergara in St. John's Knits. Seriously this woman could wear trash bags with actual trash in them and still be fabulous. I want to know who's blood she's drinking, this woman does not age or fray. God damn her. 

Ellie Kemper in Naeem Khan. She's adorable, her show's really sweet, and this dress would be totally problematic on most people but she carried it flawlessly, I wish her hair was down because it would have totally matched. 

Lea Delaria in I don't know. I am so in love with Lea. With this androgynous crushed velvet maroon suit, she looks so fabulous. Coupled with those trademark glasses of hers, she wins.

Emma Roberts in Jenny Packham. She's so young,  I don't know why she chose a gown that would usually be donned by someone twice her age. She kind of looks a bit Granny Chic in it, but with the long blonde hair and those doe-eyes, she makes it work on her teeny frame. 

Lady Gaga in Brandon Maxwell. I guess the days of Alexander McQueen and Philip Treacy are over. Gaga is an actress now and definitely brought a sense of Old Hollywood chic to the event. Less is more, and she nailed it. Definitely best dressed. She looks unbelievable.

Kerry Washington in Marc Jacobs. At first I hated this dress, but after tossing and turning all night I had a change of heart. It's a little, well weird. But Kerry carries it so well, I have to put her on the Best Dresed end. It's fashion forward, and very flattering. 

Jill Soloway in Bottega Veneta. Out of all of the pants suits, this has to be my favorite. It works brilliantly on her. I just love the whole, let's make every part of the outfit the same exact material and pattern. It's quirky, simple, and looks great on her. 

Jackie Cruz in Christian Siriano. The ladies from OITNB definitely know how to clean up for the red carpet...for the most part. No one this time was as stunning as Jackie Cruz in this plunging neckline high slit dress. It's so elegant, and something usually reserved for Sofia Vergara, but props to you Jackie, you actually beat her to the punch.

Allison Janney in again, I don't know. This is a ballsy dress for anyone much less a 55 year old. But my god what a stunning body on that woman. She's probably my second favorite of the night. The dress is almost a little too much and could look like something an AVN award winner would wear, but Janney is so elegant, she makes it a work of art. Congrats on the Emmy btdubs.

Laverne Cox in Calvin Klein. She slays basically every red carpet she walks on, and this really minimalist turquoise number reminds me of Jennifer Lawrence's Calvin Klein dress she wore to her first Oscar ceremony. That color looks amazing on her, and she's just stunning overall. 

Tatiana Maslani in Buchra Jarrar. This plunging neckline white pants suit is everything. It's so awesome. A girl like Tatiana who probably doesn't weigh more than 100 pounds can basically wear anything, and I'm so grateful she opted for the pants and not the gown. Slender and sophisticated, she shines on the red carpet. Also I love the white.

Samira Wiley in I DON'T KNOW! Samira always wears these kinds of minimalist gowns which she compensates for by wearing a really bright color. Hey the formula works. It reminds me of that Tom Ford white gown that Gwenyth wore...look it up. The one sleeve thing is so hot right now, especially when the other sleeve is a cape. 'This is the best costume for today' (look that up too). 

Sarah Hyland in Zac Posen. This is a young girl who basically styles herself like someone 10 years older than her. Her flair for fashion is very advanced, and she rarely looks problematic. She looks vibrant and elegant. She's got such a pretty face and figure, she doesn't need much to achieve props on the red carpet. 

Carrie Brownstein in Stella McCartney. Let's end with another pants suit. I would wear this every day, could I afford Stella McCartney. Accented by bright red lipstick and brilliant heels, this is so chic, and so beautiful on Carrie. Bravo!

And now, for the WORST. Be prepared. 

Jane Krakowski in Bibhu Mohaptra. Looks like it's Zac Posen but it's not. It totally washes her out and is a bit too tight. But that's not the main problem. It's boooooring. And the color blocking is way off. Also the mermaid dress went out about 3 years ago. 

Claire Danes in Prada. What the fuck is this dress honestly? The metal chains coupled with a shiny purple textile is the worst! Hashtag hated it. Probably the most flattering thing on her is her husband. 

Lena Headey in Zuhair Murad. I feel so sorry for this designer. On the runway, his gowns are the epitome of fashion forward and chic, but he always has to dress people like Kristen Stewart or Lena Headey for red carpets and they just don't do his clothes justice. It's an interesting gown, it just looks awful on her. She looks awful put it that way. 

Taylor Schilling in Stella McCartney. Mustard yellow is never a good choice ok? This flowy ruffled backless...thing looks like it was made up from scraps left over from the Gone With the Wind wardrobe department. Epic fail. 

Christina Hendricks in I can't find it! But c'mon whomever it was probably went into witness protection after this. This is a laughable dress. And not to be a bitch here (too late) when you're curvy, don't wear something that accentuates that. She looks like the Chrysler Building. 

Regina King in again, no clue. But seriously? Did she miss prom night? I love Regina King, but the dress is awful. It's not chic, it's not flattering, it's homey and it's ridiculous. The beading is all wrong, and why is the length off? If it was just a white, sleeveless dress that was two inches longer it might have worked, but it's not. It's blah.

Julianne Hough in S&M chic. I thought she looked pretty, but the dress is really slutty I'm sorry. No I'm not. The top of it looks like it belongs in an early 90's Madonna video and the bottom is all wrong. It's two different dresses sloppily meshed into one, and she looks like she's going to an Eyes Wide Shut party, not walking the red carpet at the Emmy's. 

Taryn Manning in Rubin Singer. She looks like she's going to an Addam's Family theme party for Halloween. She's gorgeous in real life, but the cape thing that worked so well for Samira looks terrifying on her. And are those shoulder pads? For the love of god!

Zoe Kazan in Miu Miu. Again, this was one that I had a change of heart about. It's playful, I love the textile pattern, but it's not right for her. It would look great on someone like Nicole Kidman or Naomi Watts, but on her, it looks out of place and mismatched. She is not nearly sophisticated enough for this dress. 

Amy Poehler in Michael Kors. I'm so sorry Amy, I adore you and you totally should have won, but this dress looks like you made it yourself. Your whole look seems like you've given up, which you kind of have considering you've lost every time, but you can still rock it on the red carpet. I remember the Golden Globes. Pull yourself together woman!

Chelsea Peretti in Gabriela Cadena. Oh god, where do I start? Again, this dress is suffering from multiple personality disorder. It's hideous. I don't care if it looks great walking down the runway on a 5'10 model, it's a hot mess. Hate it hate it hate it. Can't erase it from my memory. #neveragain.

Gwendolyn Christie in blah. Nice try at being Emma Roberts. The retro 20's hair, and the paler beyond pale skin is all wrong. This DVF wrap-dress looking fiasco looks more like a high end hotel room bath robe. 

Stephen Merchant's girlfriend in whatever the fuck she's wearing has to be mentioned. This looks like sleazy lingerie you buy for your boyfriend because he has no taste, not something you put on to walk a red carpet. Jesus christ, cover up at least SOMETHING. Also, you're not an abstract expressionist painting just so we're clear. 

Amanda Peet in (again) Michael Kors. I totally don't get the whole almost bare midriff look. Kristen Wiig did it two years ago with J. Mendel and that worked, but this year, it's hideous. Peet is very chic regardless, and chose a simple updo and barely there jewelry to compliment this, but again the dress is wearing her no the other way around. 

Heidi Klum in Versace. Someone gauge my eyes out right the fuck now. This is a crime against humanity. As I said, yellow rarely works, and even when it's Versace it's easy to look like the inside of a blender after a banana smoothie. Heidi, we know you're a model, so you know everything about fashion so please stop experimenting. It's NOT WORKING!

Naomi Grossman in couldn't find the designer. I think he shot himself. I love AHS, I love Naomi. But whyyyyyyyyyy. This is not appropriate, it is not flattering. It's the 80's meets Jackson Pollock through the mentally insane filter. This dress is horrible in every way I don't even know where to start. Never do this again Naomi. 

Sarah Paulson in Prabal Gurung. It physically hurts me to put more than one AHS star on the Worst Dressed List but they totally sucked this year. Sarah is a beautiful woman, but this dress is so boring I want to cry. It looks like a reject from Betty Draper's wardrobe. It's trying to be retro but it's not, it's just well....nothing. The blue sequins thing is so tired, and I'm hating the off the shoulder BS. knock it off. 

Ok now blogger is being a little bitch and not letting me download anymore, but that's fine, I can't do this much longer. Just to bookend it. Some other people that totally disappointed last night were Anna Chlumsky, Porsha Williams, Lauren Lapkus and Nazanin Bonaidi, but you can google those can't you? Honorable mention for Best Dressed goes to Julie Bowen and Julia Louise Dreyfus. They both wore plain black dresses which would look good on anyone so only worth mentioning in the post script. 

And there you have it. Basically it was like no one even tried this year. I know it's not the Oscars, but c'mon. Stop wearing 'right off the runway' and figure out what looks good on you. And when in doubt, Valentino it. 

Finally, Here's My Best/Worst Dressed at The Golden Globes

Are you happy? Let's do this quickly shall we? For the most part it's not that people had on atrocities, it's that most was just blah, but that's because every one is saving their good dresses for the Oscars. And hopefully firing their stylists. Before we go on, there's a designer that made this list a few times. And I just want to tell him openly; Dear Prabal Gurung, your designs are hideous. I hope never to see your gowns on the red carpet again and they run you out of town. Let's start with Worst as always. 

Zoe Saldana in Prabal Gurung. This looks like the inside of a child with severe ADD's mind. It's a full on disaster. It reminds me of projects we had in home-ec when the teacher would give us like three pieces of fabric and tell us to 'create something' with just some manicuring scissors and some chicken wire in less than 5 minutes. 

Sanda Bullock in Prabal Gurung. Oh Sandy, Sandy. First of all, plunging necklines, you're too old for that sorry. Your shoes from 1996 are awful and this color blocking looks like this dress got lost between the leather bar and the prom. 

Paula Patton in Stephane Rolland (who?). This dress is the very definition of her husband's mind-blowingly annoying hit single 'Blurred Lines', and maybe she was going for the opposite of what the models in that video wear and cover up as much as possible and layer bitch, layer. She could easily be a Hunger Games extra. 

Jennifer Lawrence in Dior. The dress that launched a thousand meme's. Dear Jen, you are young and beautiful, curvy and pixie-like you could pretty much pull off anything, and you did so well with Dior last year at the Globes, remember that orange number? Freaking awesome. Stop trying to experiment. This includes experiments with your hair. 

Lizzy Kaplan in Emilio Pucci. What the fuck is this? The end. 

Lena Dunham in Zac Posen. I hate to hit below the belt here, but we all had to look at this so here goes...I had no idea Zac Posen made dresses in a size 16. 

Julie Bowen in Carolina Herrera. She looks like Mrs. Southern Kackalaky, 2014. 

Aubrey Plaza in Oscar de la Renta. Lavender and Fuchsia? Somewhere in West Hollywood a gay couple are missing their drapes.  

And now on to the best...or the most tolerable. 

Emma Thompson. I have no idea who she's wearing but everyone knows she's got Louboutin's on her feet when she threw them off on the stage. You rule lady. 

Julia Roberts in Dolce and Gabbana. Usually this would actually make it on my Worst Dressed list. She looks like a secretary from the early 60's, like she walked out of an episode of Mad Men. But you know what? Jules pulls this off. She's getting older and it's time to be a bit more modest, very smart and chic choice. 

Kerry Washington in Balenciaga. One of my favorite designers, one of my favorite shows, this is how you rock a baby bump on the red carpet. She's so damn elegant and looks better at 7 months pregnant than a head on a stick sewn into a size double-zero Alexander McQueen. 

Lupita N'Yongo in Ralph Lauren. She looks absolutely stunning in this interesting Tom Ford-Gwenyth Paltrow-from the Oscars-two years ago type dress. Very elegant, sexy, and sophisticated. 

Tina Fey in Carolina Herrera. The oxblood thing is a beautiful trend, and hopefully we'll see more of it at the Oscars. And for a brunette to pull it off so brilliantly and bring in some vintage looking bedazzling. It really worked for a fashion risk. 

Naomi Watts in Tom Ford. Tom Ford has never had a red carpet faux-pas, and there's no one better to carry a beautiful haute-couture gown like Naomi Watts. Blondes look great in silver. Are you listening J-Law? 

See not that many. It was kind of a sad year for fashion at the Golden Globes, dear Oscars please redeem us. And for the love of god put something bearable on Jennifer Lawrence so we don't have to pay attention to that smug smile plastered all over the screen.