Grab an Old Fashioned, Old Don is Back!

Drinking buddies for life.

I don’t know about you but I found the premiere of Season 6 of one of the most dynamic and incendiary shows on TV right now to be somewhat of a snoozefest. It was all about showing us symbolically (and sometimes outright) how people had changed in the time’s passing. It’s almost 1970, and the men have grown ridiculous beards, including Pete Campbell’s new mutton chops (I mean what the fuck was that).

The most interesting transformation was that of Peggy who now seems more masculine in her new gig, as if she’s becoming the new Don Draper, she has people coming to her for advice, orders others around, hair cut more prim and proper and in total control of her emotions. Cool as a cucumber, and androgynous as fuck.

Party like it's 1969. Drop your keys in the bowl on your way in.

This was needed because guess who’s back? The OLD Don Draper. We find him wasted at Roger’s mother’s funeral and throwing up which was hilarious, and then by the end of the finally he’s got Lindsay Weir of all people (Linda Cardellini) lying on top of him. Basically, Old Don is back. There’s no longer the soul-searching, happily married, fatherly, sober, boring Don. Now the womanizer, the chain smoker, the boozer Don is back, and I couldn’t be happier. Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce was getting to be a bit drab, but now with Old Don, and Joan as silent partner (yet not so silent) I have faith that even without Layne (rest in piece on a rope), they will continue to thrive, mutton chops and all.

Trouble looming on the perfect marriage? Most definitely

The question remains is how are they going to deal with the sexual revolution impending on everyone’s heads now that the 70’s are looming and they’ve already taken acid trips and tried to see the Rolling Stones in the flesh. The only thing left is wife swapping, so getting with the times, I suppose Don is going to partake, while Roger gets involved in a really gross 70’s orgy, the kind you see in the worst of John Holmes movies, but those are questions waiting to be answered, and I for one can’t wait. Hopefully this premiere episode wasn’t an indication because I’m sick of all of the existential self-aggrandizement that Don experience mmmmmmm…every single fucking episode. I want the old Don back, and I’m glad they’ve answered my prayers.

Mad Men Frenches it Up. Oh Mon Dieu!

It's 7 episodes into the 5th season of Mad Men and holy dirty pubic hair, a lot of nasty shit has gone down on the show. But last night's episode took the cake for me. They don't make water hot enough for me to finally feel clean after showering in it. So basically, this was a Sally episode who after spending just one afternoon with Megan's pretentious euro-trash parents (Julia Ormond and Ronald Guttman) already speaks like Leisl Von Trapp ('Papaaa, may I try on my new dress?') and comes out looking like a girl Roman Polanski would loooove to photograph one warm night at Jack Nicholson's house...too far? It's this sparkly Nancy Sinatra get-up with go-go boots and a ton of make-up. Any father like Don would of course get nervous and run right out to buy a sawed-off shotgun, but he plays it cool, old-fashioned in hand and ciggy in mouth tells her to lose the boots and the whorey face paint. 

Daddy like? No Sally, Daddy no like. Daddy want kill himself.

Meanwhile, all of them have to deal with Megan's annoying parents, which is weird considering they are clearly French (I know because my BFF is French-Canadian and can tell the difference between the accents, so there!) and somehow Megan is French-Canadian, but whateves. As if we don't have enough racial stereotypes on the show, the most recently added is the middle-class Brooklyn-raised fast-talking nervous and neurotic Ginsberg who works as a junior copywriter at SCDP, and Layne with all of his unbridled bare-knuckle boxing Britishness, now they're going to lampoon the French by portraying them as sex intellectuals, or at times just intellectuals with an endless cannon of pretentious things to say.

'What a pleasure to meet you. You can tell I'm French by the slow and specific way in which I talk and how impeccably dressed I am, would you like a blow job in the empty lobby no one is using for some reason?

Let's cut to the chase. The episode culminates when Sally, still in hooker attire walks in on Roger 'her date for the night' because he was trying to be cute' receiving a pretty graphic BJ from Megan's mother. She's pretty disturbed, as are the rest of us. First of all, Julia doesn't look like she's simulating at all, and it was a couple camera angle's shy of being The Brown Bunny (2003). So basically what it's taught us is that no matter if you're cleaning the house in your black lacey underpants, or blowing some guy you literally met seconds earlier, if you're French, it's all good. The last scene is between Sally and world's biggest future pervert slash serial killer Glenn discuss they're budding discoveries of the sexual clusterfuck around them, him asking her 'so how's the city?' to which she replies 'dirty'. That about sums it up.

I hope that they give Peggy a scene like that because she's seeming a little sex-starved and uppity of late and I'm really starting to think it's this student-leftist 'I'm going to change the world as soon as i finish my degree in ornithology' (Charlie Hofheimer) asshole is spending too much tying arguing with her rather than making sure she get's properly effed. And you know who I think would be an ideal candidate of course is Ginsberg (Ben Feldman). Get on it Peggy.