There was a great article after 1989 came out by I think (and pray) Judith Butler or Linda Williams (there goes my academia swag card) that labeled Taylor Swift and her 'squad' a bunch of neo-nazi Barbies. I tried to find it, and if you Google Search 'Taylor Swift Nazi' you get about 2 million results; the most compelling of which is this one. It's not difficult to see why that is. I'm sorry but Taylor has been selling herself as kind of a faux Jill-of-all-trades, twerking in her 'Shake it Off' video, and most recently blatantly ripping off Beyonce's 'Formation' video with 'Look What You Made Me Do'. She's a tall Aryan-AF looking blonde who loves to play the victim; and what do white nationalists do aside from playing the victim all the time.
Taylor's go-to music video director Joseph Kahn tweeted that the 'Look What You Made Me Do' video is not in Beyonce's art space ...I beg to differ.
Perfect example: Kanye the villainous African American man is ruining the 'reputation' of a helpless young white girl. What is this, 'Birth of a Nation'? (The D.W. Griffith version). All you have to do is watch the Viceland documentary on the Charlottesville rally to see why that is. I won't go as far as to say that she's their cultural icon, but she's strange not to denounce the rumors much like Trump. However she has no trouble denouncing rumors about her flimsy and flighty love life...hm. But most of this started when the whole squad became a thing. She surrounded herself with tall blonde girls who looked just like her. It was only when she received criticism for that, that she 'allowed' Zendaya in her clique. Like the whole world is her basic Aryan high school. I think Zendaya is doing just fine without her.
Squad goals?
Cultural appropriation is just as bad as outward racism in my opinion, so let's move on to the greatest 'culture vultures' of our time; Kendall and Kylie just can't help fucking up can they? Let's get this out of the way. They are white girls. Sometimes, I like to see what idiots on social media are getting up to, and it doesn't look any better for either of them. Firstly, the unspeakable and tone-deaf Pepsi commercial that would have ruined anyone's career that Kendall miraculously survived, where some genius thought that to make her the face of the Black Lives Matter movement was a good idea. Then came the T-shirt line. If you don't know, let me catch you up. Kendall and Kylie are so obsessed with their own faces they decided to super-impose them unto T-shirts of album covers by Biggie and Tupac. Are you fucking kidding me? And because they wanted to market it for basic bitches, the gave it a vintage look and charged a hefty 125.00$ price tag for them before quickly removing them from the market.
I'm sure the Muslim community is totally fine with this.
Kendall herself is also getting quite a bit of flack because her IG is chalk full of offensive and insensitive imagery such as her dressed up in a Hijab, to a shirt with a confederate flag on it. Also, lest we forget, she tagged a photo of herself and her sisters with the caption; 'girl power ...sister power' with a fist bump emoji on it. Only problem is that the fist bump color was basically three emojis darker than white, implying she was somehow on board the brazen cultural appropriation train without actually doing anything for the community that she is stealing from. I think my fave response to that bullshit was a girl who told her straight up to stick in her emoji lane.
Tupac always wanted his legacy to be two white girls' initials over his image.
The most recent BS regarding members of Taylor Swift's Aryan squad that's popped up is with supermodel Gigi Hadid. You'd think she gets a pass because she's half Semitic; born to a Dutch mother and a Palestinian father. And yet, she got a shitload of well-deserved flack when she announced that she would be walking in the Victoria Secret fashion show that would be held in Shanghai this year. Now, don't think that because she's not full blood that she doesn't enjoy white privilege. Her entire life was spent in Malibu living with her mother and rich, white stepfather, David Foster. Perhaps you're the biggest asshole when you don't admit that yeah you enjoy the fuck out of white privilege. Anyway, someone managed to dig up an IG video of her at a Chinese restaurant with her sister Bella, who did a weird quasi and really racist Asian bow, as Gigi held up her cookie in the shape of a Buddha face and squinted. That's some ratchet shit right there.
Presented without comment.
Now yeah, these things may seem minimal, but this is how it starts. And with racial tensions at an all time high, I'd be a bit more careful if I was a cultural icon, especially one that children look up to ...for some reason. Ana Navarro? No thanks ...Kendall. They're role models whether they like it or not, and people are just not having anymore of their casual racism. You don't get away with everything just because you're pretty, ladies.
Well ladies and gents. I've reached 400. My god what have I done with my life? I started his blog in 2010, and have finally gotten to 400. I consider that a feat, I don't care. I'm very proud of my blog and can't believe it's been 5 years and 400 posts. I've written probably about 7 pieces on Marilyn Monroe, about as many on Edie Sedgwick, Orson Welles, Spring Breakers, Downton Abbey...and then it came to me. Ask yourself...who whether you like it or not is a living icon that our generation grew up on? Who is perhaps the most photographed person right now? And who is instantly recognizable in their work, look, or sound? Let's spare anymore suspense....It's Britney, bitch.
For my 400th I thought the best thing to do was to give you the ultimate countdown of her best music videos. She's had quite a lot of them, and not all made the cut. But every single one is special in its own way and molded the persona, career, and immortality of perhaps our generation's most recognizable figure. Recently she received one of those 'Lifetime achievement awards' at the VMA's (not sure what they call it) Video Vanguard, that's it. It was given to her by Lady Gaga and a tribute of her greatest moments was performed. Love her, hate her, or simply don't care, you can't not acknowledge that she is now synonymous with pop culture. We've watched her grow from a teeny-bopper school girl, into a villainous sex-pot, watched her self-destruct, and rise from the ashes like the Phoenix that she is. If you're my age, it's hard to remember a time when Britney wasn't part of our lives, and I think all of us are surprised that she's lasted this long. Homegirl might not have the voice of Whitney Houston, the versatility of Madonna, or the creative bravado or Lady Gaga, but there's no question that she's earned her place not only in the music industry, but in iconography. This is mainly due to her music videos so let's start the countdown shall we?
10. Piece of Me (2007)
At #10, we have Piece of Me.
This is perhaps her most blatant fuck-you to the media that’s haunted her for
most of her life. Every single lyric says it all. ‘I’m Mrs. She’s to thick now
she’s too thin’, ‘I’m Mrs. Oh my god that Britney’s shameless’ …’you want a
piece of me?’. The video is simple enough. It’s her barely dancing against
bright colorful flashing lights, and every once in a while cuts to her doing
something that she became notorious for doing; partying and having it show up
on a newspaper. It’s a very unapologetic message. Someone once compared her to
the female Elvis. No, she’s not as talented as him, it’s meant in the way that
no one was ever that famous and thrust into the blinding glare of the media
spotlight basically all the livelong day. I can see why she had a meltdown
eventually. And with this song she’s not saying ‘poor me, leave me alone’.
She’s saying, ‘come and get it, bitch’.
9. Everytime (2004)
This is perhaps the video that I
still struggle with but I had to include it if for no better reason than that
the song is sung by a cornrowed James Franco in one of my favorite films ever; Spring Breakers. I swear every time the
song ends I hear Franco’s voice in my head whisper ‘Spring Breaaaaak’. It
literally doesn’t make any sense, but the song is very pretty. It’s one of the
few ballads that Britney’s ever done, and it’s the best one. In the video she’s
in a hospital, then she’s arguing with a boyfriend (played comically enough by
Stephen Dorff), then she’s dead, then she’s in a bathtub. I don’t get it. I
really don’t. It kind of looks like a really bad student film, but Britney
makes it come together. The imagery matches the tone and the lilting lyrics of
the song. She get’s my approval…as does James Franco. Sometimes I think I
prefer his version more.
8. Criminal (2011)
Criminal is one of her most
recent efforts off of her Femme Fatal record. It’s perhaps her most unlikely
video. It’s very Madonna. She’s for once not in charge of her fate. In it, she
falls in love with…a criminal, but he’s sexy and drives a motorcycle and we
know that’s catnip for Britney. The man just happens to be her then-fiancé
Jason Trawick with whom she gets caught up in a Bonnie & Clyde kind of
scenario in England for some reason. The video ends with them making out amidst
a hail of police bullets in slow motion. Sound hoaky, I know, but it’s really
cool. And she’s naked in the shower. And she plays with guns. Bingo, I have
bingo.
7. Stronger (2000)
This is the first collaboration
with director Joseph Kahn. It’s somewhat non-linear and weird, but the
choreography makes up for it. She’s in some kind of spinning room like the
restaurant at the Marriott in Times Square…then she’s driving a car over a
collapsed highway in the rain, but the best part of course is her dance with a
moving chair. That was very Gene Kelly/Fred Astaire of her, and totally blew my mind. Also, if you listen to the lyrics, it’s about a lot of
fluff obviously, but it’s very deliberately contradicting her former attitude
towards men. When in Baby…One More Time there’s the line ‘my loneliness is
killing me’ in Stronger the lyric goes ‘my loneliness ain’t killing me no
more’. Heavy right? She’s a poet.
6. Womanizer (2008)
I love Womanizer. It was the
first single from Circus, and had announced to the world; Hey everyone, I’m not
batshit anymore…and I have hair again. It’s basically a Toxic Part II, but
steamier. Instead of writhing around on the floor in a nude glitter suit, she’s
again, in a sauna, completely naked narrating the story of a woman who stalks
her cheating boyfriend by (again) having three incarnations. The song is
actually brilliant when you think about it. The chorus is unique in how
repetitive and fast it is, and this video displays Britney’s confidence better
than any other. She’s playing by her own rules now people, don’t be the unlucky
one that gets in her way.
5. ...Baby One More Time (1999)
Ah the video that started it all.
I know considering its significance it should probably be number 1, but as a
video it’s not as strong as some of the others; and that is exactly the essence
of Britney. When this single and the video hit, people were asking themselves;
how does a pop star possibly top that? She did. Many a time. But let’s go back.
Turns out the concept was all Britney’s idea. The director wanted some kind of
cartoonish thing, but Britney suggested that they set it in a school and donned
the now iconic schoolgirl uniform to dance to some of the most 90’s choreography
ever. Ironically, the whole wardrobe for everyone in the video was bought at
K-Mart. It appealed to that very evil thing in men where you dress like a slut
but tell people you’re a virgin. She had the little girl bangs, the falsetto
out-of-breath voice, and the goddamn pigtails and announced her arrival in a
very ballsy way.
4. Circus (2008)
Circus is just a very well
directed video. Off of her album…Circus, it’s set in a…circus. It’s funny how Christina
Aguilera always seems to be on the music video heels of Britney because after
this video dropped, Christina’s Hurt premiered, and it was also set in a
circus. Not to mention that Christina’s infamous fuckfest orgy video for Dirrty hit about 2 months after I’m a Slave 4 U and even though it was
blatantly more sexual, I remember thinking; ‘Britney did it better’. Anyway,
Britney was fresh from her very public meltdown and wanted to prove that she
was still at the top of her game. She looked amazing, playing a ringmaster, and
the choreography was a break from what we’d usually seen her do. It was much
more complex and advanced, proving to everyone that this bitch can dance.
3. I'm a Slave 4 U (2001)
Perhaps Britney’s sexiest video
and maybe one of the sexiest videos of all time. Britney was no longer the
school girl with a midriff that won’t quit. Donning leather low-riders and a
few pieces of bright pink fabric to cover her boobs, the video puts her in a
giant sauna of some kind. Everyone is sweaty as fuck, and just has to dance
damn it. Some costume genius decided to spray Britney with olive oil in between
takes so she always looks like she’s dripping in sweat, and what’s sexier than
that? The heavy panting probably. I remember watching it for the first time and
being ‘Woah, what happened to innocent school girl Britney?’ This was her
loudest transition into her sex-pot persona. She played this up by performing
the song at that year’s VMA’s with a live giant python wrapped around her. It’s
considered to be one of the best and most significant performances of that
show’s history.
2. Oops!...I Did It Again (2000)
I’m sorry but I love this song
and the video, albeit totally weird, it is hilarious and infectiously catchy just
like the song. After ...Baby One More Time, everyone thought; well she’s cool and
of the times, but who knows if she has staying power? When Oops!…I Did it Again
dropped, coupled with a solid video, people realized Britney was here to stay.
In her red cat suit, and that ridiculous choreography she became an icon before
our very eyes. More than anything, it’s just fun, and even if you hated it, you
really loved it and rock out to it when the windows are rolled up. And admit
it, you can do the dance too.
1. Toxic (2003)
Did you really not see this coming? Toxic is not only her best video
but her best song. It was the first conscious
break from the bubble-gum pop era of Britney and the first single off her 4th
album ‘In the Zone’. She teamed up with avant-garde video director Joseph Kahn again, who previously worked with the likes of Eminem, Moby, Christina Aguilera, and
TLC. It’s the first of her videos to tell a cohesive (albeit highly surreal and
hyper-visualized) story that involves an angry beauty seeking revenge on a man that
wronged her and eventually killing him. Britney has three significant
incarnations that not only make her look unbelievable, but helped disguise her in her
quest. Tyson makes a cameo as her motorcycle driver, and of course there’s that
nude suit with glitter on it barely concealing well anything in the video. The song style
borrows heavily from the music of the 70’s, particularly ABBA and was an
instant hit. The video is just as iconic, and signified that Britney was
growing up.
Now rock out like there's no one there to judge you.
Below, that Video Vanguard thing I was talking about.
Like any of us could pull off that outfit at the gym.
A new video gem by Miss Weird USA, Nicki Minaj went viral the other day breaking the earlier Vevo record held by Miley Cyrus's Wrecking Ball, getting 19.6 million viewers within the first 24 hours of being posted. And when I mean viral, this might be the first video to actually give you a virus.
It samples that classic anthem of the early 90's that was everyone's guiltiest pleasure; Baby Got Back by the best-named rapper in the biznax; Sir Mix-a-Lot. Now, knowing the musical stylings of Nicki Minaj, hearing this song, I knew it wasn't just going to be a lame remix of the undertrack. She does take it to a whole other level, and when the video 'popped' up on the youtubes, every man in America had to hall ass to the Apple Store for new keyboards.
Not only the song, but the video harkens back to the good ol' days of bizarre novelty rap and over the top nail-on-the-head videos that came with it; as in Sir-Mix-Alot bustin' rhymes on a giant ass and bananas colliding with peaches. Oh how subtle, Sir knight.
All of that stuff is still there, but ever the envelope pusher, Nicki stepped it up a notch and a half. Unlike her pudgy somewhat repulsive predecessor, Nicki has a body that was built by 13 year old boys in a laboratory. You see her in any outfit you're like daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn.
Boy toy named Troy, used to live in Detroit...
So why not sample a song about big butts when you've got the most curvaceous one in fem-town? All the double entendres are there, but you mix in Nicki in a jungle theme like she just walked out of Britney Spears' VMA I'm a Slave for You performance, sweaty and lucious, you've got yourself a winner. Oh and btdubs. THAT'S WHAT I CALL TWERKING.
Oh and who makes a cameo in the whole thing? Labelmate Drake who's job it is to sit in a chair while Nicki dances all up on him like no-one's business and not get an erection. I'm not sure that mission accomplished.
And she cooks! (or performs colonoscopies)
It's hard for me to believe that people like Nicki exist sometimes. Not only is she extremely talented and creative, but my gawd. That body is so fierce I feel like I have to watch her videos through a hole in a plate. You go girl, I am on board with all of your future endeavors. Thanks for saving us from the plight of boring music and overly emotional music videos (talking to you, Miley) and reminding us what fun feels like.
Smashing Pumkins' 'Tonight, Tonight' (dir. Jonathan Dayton and Valerie Faris), 1996. A very literal nod to the cinematic trend in music videos that had taken over around that time by basically recreating the Melies film; A Voyage to the Moon (1902).
Red Hot Chili Peppers' 'Dani California' (dir. Tony Kaye), 2006. What a tribute to rock 'n roll trends. No snark here.
Miley Cyrus' 'Wrecking Ball' (dir. Terry Richardson), 2013. I had to...don't you dare judge me...I know I can't look at myself in the mirror either...I know Terry's awful...yes I heard about the allegations...yes all of them...No I do not excuse nor condone them...yes this video is shot beautifully.
Fiona Apple's 'Criminal' (dir. Mark Romanek), 1997. She has a wonderful been-dead-for-a-few-days look about her. Romanek later went on to direct One Hour Photo (2004).
The Verve's 'Bitter Sweet Symphony' (dir. Walter A. Stern) 1997. None of this was staged. Lead singer Richard Ashcroft was asked to purposely bump into people as hard as he could.
R.E.M's 'Losing My Religion' (dir. Tarsem Singh), 1991. A great eclectic recreation of Renaissance art, Soviet propaganda posters, and Michael Stipe's indescribable dance moves.
Lauryn Hill's 'Doo Wop (That Thing)' (dir. Big TV!) 1999. I was beyond in love with this song and this video. Can't believe she stopped making music after that.
Justin Timberlake's 'Cry Me a River' (dir. Francis Lawrence), 2002. The ultimate indictment-of-a-cheating-lover public statement ever. And it's so sexy don't we all wish we had a music video like that to our name?
FatBoy Slim's 'Praise You' (dir. Spike Jonze), 1999. High concept, high art, really really original and hilarious stuff. We all know what Spike Jonze as the delightfully dorky and slightly unhinged filmmaker of such critical darlings as Being John Malkovich (1999), this was a first glimpse into his particular brand of self-effacing humor.
And finally...
Lady Gaga's 'Bad Romance' (dir. again, Francis Lawrence), 2009. Because most of my friends will have a fit if they don't find this on the list, and quite honestly it's awesome. What can I say? I'm a little monster.
Something that belongs on Girls Gone Wild not the stage of the VMA's...or any stage for that matter.
I know what you're thinking, hell has frozen over indefinitely now that I'm comparing Miley Cyrus to Edie Sedgwick, but a friend of mine talked me into it and insisted I refer to him as the smartest most articulate person I've ever known. I know him from grad school, and it's not far from the truth actually. Anyway, back to this, which could be like riding a psychotic horse to a burning stable but we'll see how it goes. Robin Thicke, in many ways can be seen as a sort of Warholian figure, and his video for 'Blurred Lines' if not for Pharrell's funky beats, and hashtags, and use of well...color and sound, could easily have been a Warhol film from the 60's.
the only thing gratuitous about this video is the exploitation.
Warhol almost always used naked actors and actresses, but calling them actors is a bit of a stretch.
If we're talking about exploitation, gratuitous nudity and implied sex that is not actually pornographic in any way, that's basically the recipe of every Warhol film (discounting Empire (1964)). He's a voyeur in a sense that he controls but does not participate. This is how he compares to Robin Thicke, which could be to do with him being a married man, (WHA??) but still that's the vibe that he gives off. And consider he sang little more than two lines at his VMA performance which still has people everywhere cringing, we can liken him to a Warholian-type voyeuristic pleasure seeker, way better than his original nickname which was; total fucking idiot.
Besides that thought, this is exactly the kind of thing Warhol would have loved, being the VMA performance that made everyone do a quick dash to the bathroom for a hurl and a half. It was at its utmost pure exploitation, and especially exploitation of the seemingly vulnerable. It really sickens me to liken Miley Cyrus to Edie Sedgwick, but it's a probability that I can't sidestep. Let's examine the similarities and not the differences. Sedgwick had what we like to refer to as a 'predatory father', we can also say the same for Miley. Yes, he's funny and weird, and a stage-dad/dad-a-ger what ever you want to call him, but his presence makes him seem rather creepy and always put her in the position of what Edie basically was which was a poor-little-rich-girl. She cemented her kinderwhore style at the VMA's by performing basically like a child dizzy on lemonade who just had their first wet dream. And even though she's 20, old enough to vote, but not old enough to rent a car or buy alcohol, we still see her as the young and innocent Disney product even though she's desperately been trying to break the mold. And still, acting like a hyper-sexualized kid is not what's going to do it. You either take the plunge and go full on sexually aware woman on everyone like Britney or Christina, or you stay in the Disney bubble forever and get all Mickey Rooney towards the end, and that's just sad for everybody.
What Miley symbolizes as a 'child' is similar to what Edie symbolized in her innocence amongst a sea of perverts, vagrants, and lost souls of the factory when she showed up on the scene. Not much older than Miley (22) when Warhol first took her in, it was a big change in the tempo. She resembled a small beautiful boy, almost like a Greek cherub minus the fat arms, who was going to lead everyone into the light. Unfortunately, Edie's dark side was far more morose than anyone had every anticipated and she quickly began to self destruct. It appears that the same is happening with Miley, whoever her Warholian figure is at the time, will eventually lead to her destruction, because behaving like a child whilst exploiting yourself as a full fledged sexual creature is no fun for anyone to watch. That's basically why Warhol's films are so uncomfortable to sit through.
I hate to admit it, but at the VMA's Miley did tend to resemble Edie to some degree, but only in physicality. That's where I draw the line.
If that performance reminds me of anything, it's of Warhol's Beauty #2 (1965), where Edie and another Warhol superstar; Gino Piserchio are sitting on a large bed while off-camera, a menacing voice asks Edie increasingly personal and hostile questions, while Gino keeps trying to get it on with her. That film was the essence of exploitation, particularly exploitation of innocence. And in a way, that's exactly what Miley's performance was, though perhaps she was the one who was pushing herself into all of these awkward situations, it begs the question; why are we so uncomfortable right now?
Warhol once famously said; 'if someone wants to make a movie on their life, you can do one or two, or three, for as long as they remain interesting'. Perhaps that's what's happening to Miley. She's desperate to remain in the spotlight, and is doing whatever she can, even self-exploitation (a very Warholian concept) in order to achieve it. In this sense she's more like Ingrid Superstar, and Edie clone (I don't have time to give you the history, look her up) in that she's desperately trying to be something she's not because she knows it will make her famous, or keep her famous, if only for a short period of time.
Warhol never seemed to want people to have genders, or sexuality, he wanted them to be ambiguous and yet objects of sexual desire. Edie, if you haven't noticed by now, was fraught with sexuality, even though she dressed herself up like a little boy just out of ballet practice. While on the completely opposite side of the spectrum Miley is doing her utmost to prove that she's peaked in sexual maturity. But twerking up on a 36 year old man while stick your tongue out Gene Simmons style is only going to turn people off instead of turning them on, which is what Edie was capable of doing just sitting on a stool smoking a long cigarette.
Miley's been trying too hard for years now. Remember her dancing on an stripper pole (ahem excuse me, ice cream stand pole) a couple years back to 'Party in the USA'? I don't even remember if that was the VMA's or the Teen Choice awards or some such garbage, I just remember, again, being grossed out.
Which brings me to a very interesting point. in 2000, the bar was set way high by another teen idol and former Disney product; Miss Britney Spears who was all of 19 (a year younger than Miley at the time) when she performed 'Oops...I Did It Again' which basically skyrocketed her from teeny-bopper pig-tailed jail-bait to a full fledged woman with abs that won't quit, messy sex hair, and the best damn hip-hop choreography of the that era. She ripped off her retro suit to expose a scantily clad glitter two-piece costume, basically her own version of the infamous 'skin and beads' dress Marilyn Monroe performed in when she sang Happy Birthday to President Kennedy. She owned the night that night, and people took notice that she was no longer Britney Spears with double braids and a catholic school girl uniform. She was a woman now, and she knows exactly how to move herself around. She's a sexually aware being, and get the fuck out of her way or she'll lock step your ass into the background where you belong.
Miss Spears owning it at the 2000 VMA's. Every girl watching was staring at her in awe wishing that was them up there.
Miley's choreography (which I'm sure she conceived herself) was basically her trying to be hip-hop and burlesque through the cheeseball filter all at once, and it was the most embarrassing thing I've literally ever seen. Smacking your back-up dancers, twerking on a middle aged man, and pretending your ridiculous foam finger is a giant dong is not dancing. Miley, you are no Britney, you are no Edie, you are a wannabe superstar at best, you should Google 'Ingrid Superstar' if you're reading this. Just like you, she was poor white trash from bumblefuck nowhere whom someone greater than them turned into a phenomenon, but for only those famed 15 minutes. And honey, you're clock is ticking. There's a difference between slutty and sexy, between the obscene and the erotic, the vulgar and the enticing, and Warhol was always interested in the latter. No matter how gratuitous and nudity-filled his films were, they were seldom vulgar, and if they were, it was intentional. Miley's performance was nothing short of disgusting, and Warhol, were he alive right now, wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole.
