One Person Carried the Entire Season

Best friend and girlfriend of Poussey finally find an appropriate tribute to their lost loved one and I cried all the way home. 

It's rare in a multi-protagonist show that one person stands out. Early on, before OITNB became a thing, most of the first season was about Chapman. The writers saw that this clearly didn't work so they gave everyone a storyline, an arch, and a flashback …standard multi-protagonist rules, just watch Lost.

I was talking to a friend earlier about Mad Men, getting a little sidetracked, but that did also start out about one person; Don Draper, and then evolved with a plethora of new characters and the OG's having some serious stories, laments, and flaws. That's what makes them relatable.

Spoilers coming but you should have watched it by now; that show basically invented the binge watch culture.

Daya at the climax of Season 4. Sensing a pattern here. 

A little bit on what is happening in the new season. Daya shoots the sadist CO Humps in the leg, and a riot breaks out in the prison. The riot actually lasts through out the entirety of the season and that MCC bitch Linda somehow gets mistaken for a prisoner so she's along for the ride. If you remember correctly, The girls at Litchfield are pretty eccentric to put it mildly so the riot has some wonderful and sometimes cathartic twists and turns. It's really a great season, and there's one woman that carries it through to the very end.

Taystee leads an action to throw away the 'bribes' that the governor provides in order to stop the riot because according to her, it wouldn't be justice.

If you haven't guessed, I'm talking about Tasha 'Taystee' Jefferson. Poussey's best friend. Danielle Brooks who plays her is barely old enough to rent a car, but her training at Julliard did her well, to say the least. Usually we focus on actors 'on the brink' if they bag a role like Jennifer Lawrence in Silver Linings Playbook at the ripe young age of like 23. When OITNB started, Brooks was actually the exact same age, and has maintained a consistency to the character and a commitment to the arch of Taystee. This season was definitely hers. I don't know of the season's past if I could assign them as belonging to someone. No, she doesn't get the most airtime, or the smartest quips, but my god, the depth of this girl was incredible.

And of course they set in on fire because they want 'to be motherfucking taken serious!' You go Taystee.

I kept having to remind myself of the youth of this actress and subsequent inexperience because you would never be able to tell, and though just like every season, a different character gets a flashback, and in the end, it's all about Piper (who is the worst), Brooks upstaged everyone in her passionate fight as Taystee struggles to deal with her grief and get justice for Poussey.

At the climax of the last episode, it was like watching a Shakespearean tragedy, just watching the performance that Brooks gave. I don't often say this, but it seemed to come from the bottom of the gut, and I cried rivers. It was a catharsis that no one was expecting, and Brooks definitely spread her acting wings.

What Brooks is able to accomplish as an actor in this scene is beyond me. She keeps you guessing the entire time, and the emotion is so palpable that it's impossible to separate yourself from it. 

But what's truly important is that she is instrumental and a catalyst in every episode. As an actress, she has so much stamina, and so much of herself to give to the role I have no idea how she didn't fall down from exhaustion by the end. I've really never seem anyone so committed and playing the same character for 5 years, but her nuanced performance gives her so much staying power. It boggles the mind as to why we don't acknowledge her more. For such a tender age, you would never expect her to carry a show of over 30 main characters in its most chaotic season, but she managed, and she should be commended for it. There are a lot of brilliant actors that make up the Litchfield prisoners, and usually it is Uzo Aduba (Suzanne 'Crazy Eyes' Warren) who walks away with the Emmy's, which she definitely deserves, but I was taken aback at how well Brooks managed some really tough and complex material. Put it this way, if there was a riot at a prison I'd want to shadow Taystee, and if we were doing acting exercises at Julliard, I'd want to do them with Brooks. She is somewhat of an unsung talent that deserves way more recognition than she gets.

Prolly seen the trailer, but here it is anyway, it premiered in early June on Netflix so your binge should just about be over by now. Happy watching!

The Sociopolitics of OITNB Season 4 (Spoilers, duh!)

Last shot of the season. Perhaps the most gut-wrenching ending ever. If you're like me, you choose to believe that Poussey's New York adventure was a beautiful limbo that she'll live forever. 

Unless you've been in a cave or are pathetic human being (yeah I said it) you've binged the 4th season by now of the Netflix juggernaut Orange is the New Black. I've been waiting to write about it for a while because unlike most, I care about not spoiling shit for people. As the show usually ends on a cliffhanger, I thought people would be more careful about that, especially because this season was perhaps the most gut-wrenching and as Kate Mulgrew (Galina Reznikov) said on Good Morning America 'excruciating' season to film. And that's coming from a cast member who knew...imagine how it was for us. 

Class structure and institutionalized racism take front and center seats this season, where Litchfield becomes a microcosm of the hypocrisy we live in 

I'd like to talk about something I at first considered to be Easter eggs of socio-politics, but lets face it; they were front and center this season. Let's backtrack to a few of them. Some of my favorite ones that were so hilarious and painful at the same time were amazing as commentary about the world that has completely gone to shit, from the mind of Jenji Kohan. When we finally find out why Suzanne 'Crazy Eyes' Warren is serving time at Litchfield, we start with her working merrily at a Costco-type warehouse. There's a receipt she checks and it goes something like this 'mayonnaise, orange juice, ASSAULT WEAPON' ok have a nice day!' 

Chapman has to suffer some serious consequences for inadvertently creating a prison gang full of white supremacists. Absolute power corrupts absolutely, and in prison, they will brand a swastika on you without hesitation. 

Sensitive topic? Most definitely, but poking a stick at how ridiculous it is that people can purchase assault rifles in this country is brilliant commentary, especially considering what just happened in Orlando. It's about time SOMEONE addressed it, because it's clearly being overlooked (save for the congress filibuster). Something else that sticks in your craw like an uncomfortable zit that's in the weird part of your back was when a CO mentions that she knows about 'extraction techniques'...yeah, she's a torturer, a lot of them are. The Abu Graib parallel was so apparent this season; like when a CO asks Blanca to stand on a table which she does for days. I think someone even says that its 'a bit Abu Graib' but let's face it; the new CO's are former vets with shiny faces that used to be torturers...thanks Bush Regime. 

We see institutionalized racism so much during this season. The fact that a huge conglomerate of new inmates that are stuffed into Litchfield are all from the DR basically gives credence to the fact that the system has been doing that for years. For every white person locked up, there's 10 people of color. Think about that, don't want to? Ok. 

CO Coates tries to explain to his rape victim that he didn't see it that way. Guess what, doesn't matter. And you have to wear that rape badge the rest of your life. And rightfully so.

Well anyway, if you're a girl especially, you followed the whole Stanford rape fiasco, where a dipshit judge gave a Stanford swim star 6 months for a violent rape where there were witnesses? 3 months with good behavior? How shitty is that sweaty turd to swallow? Rape is rape, and that's something that couldn't be clearer. Remember last season when Pennsatucky (Taryn Manning) was brutally raped by CO Coates? We didn't see it coming, in fact I'm sure some of us hopeless romantics thought that they might actually get together a la Daya and CO Bennett, and then he rapes her. Horrifying. In this season, it's made apparent that CO Coates like for real didn't understand that what he did was rape. Rape is rape bro. He's not an idiot, probably a bit on the dumb side, but I'm sorry, he's a rapist. Just as Big Boo (Lea DeLaria) said; there's no forgiving that. Pennsatucky eventually does forgives him, but to her, and to basically everyone with a pulse, he'll always be a rapist, dumb or not. 

A peaceful protest is met with abhorrent violence. It doesn't just happen in the world of fiction people. 

On to the next and most excruciating thing ever, of all time...not just on OINTB. When Poussey Washington (Samira Wiley), an audience favorite gets killed. What starts out as a peaceful stick-it-to-the-man protest where the entire prison population stand up on their tables in the cafeteria, Dead Poets Society style, demanding that the captain (Piscatella) resign. CO Piscatella is a misogynist, sadist, and all around monster. Instead of doing the rational thing which would be oh I don't know, anything except for what he ends up doing, he brings the close of the season to the most egregious end imaginable. He calls in the rest of the staff to forcefully take down the inmates. CO Bailey, a boyish dimwit that looks like he wouldn't hurt a fly, ends up being responsible for the worst thing to happen on that show to date. Mirroring the Black Lives Matter movement, he accidentally murders Poussey by jamming his knee into her back, effectively cutting off air to her lungs. That was a scene that stays with you like whatever scene from whatever film still makes you cry just by thinking about it. It was cataclysmic, especially because most of the cast didn't even know what was going to happen until they shot it. 

Poussey's death scene. I still can't get it out of my head and probably won't for a while. It's not just that she was a 'fan favorite'; this was an indictment of every single time a person of color was murdered in cold blood and the perpetrator got away with it in the end. 

Taystee (Danielle Brooks), Poussey's BFF, who works as the secretary to prison warden Caputo, overhears his statement to the public where he decides not to reprimand CO Bailey. Outraged, she launches a full on protest at Litchfield. 'They didn't even say her name!' she screams, rallying the rest of the inmates to follow her. The greatest injustice just happened, and all the higher-ups can think about is how to play it to the media. If that's not a full-on retrospect on the truth, I don't know what is. Her greatest line, which I believe sums up the gravity of the situation, is when Caputo says he's sorry for her loss, to which she retorts; 'I'm tired of people calling it my loss like it was my 100-year-old granny that croaked instead of cold-blooded murder'. There you go folks. There ain't no justice in the world, and especially now that the world is basically on fire. And as long as people in positions of power are only concerned with is how to spin it to make themselves look good in the face of a horrific injustice, innocent people will continue to die, and the disenfranchised will continue to suffer. Was that too dark? Well, it's supposed to be. Here's to Jenji and her chrome-plated balls for addressing all of it so blatantly and with such pathos that it broke all of our hearts. This is what makes Orange is the New Black more than just a fun binge-watching session on Netflix. The towering statements it makes are brilliant, and they are not crammed down the audience's throat because someone on that team studied literally devices. I have respect for a lot of what the show brings to the front, but what I respect the most is how unapologetic and brutally honest it is. Time and time again, that's the art that stands head and shoulders above the rest, that touches the heart, and doesn't care if it hurts, because it's supposed to. 

Trailer for Season 4 below: 

Emmy's 2015 - Best and Worst Dressed

The Emmy's were a bit of a snoozefest in everything between the beginning and end. Some wonderful wins like Viola Davis, Uzo Aduba, and of course Jon Hamm made me ecstatic, and Andy Samberg was a pretty competent host...I guess. But let's get down to what really matters, the outfits. Most of them were horrid, just not going to lie and say it right now. A big trend this year was the Hillary Clinton pants suit, and I was surprised but I totally loved all of them from Lea Delaria to Jill Soloway. The Annie Hall look is back ya'll, nothing wrong with wearing pants on a red carpet and most ladies rocked it. Unfortunately, those in gowns totally went ape shit and made the red carpet into some kind of circus fiasco. Here's my brutal best and worst dressed list, back by popular demand. (By the way, let's just announce the winners and losers right now) Best Dressed: Lady Gaga, worst dressed: Heidi Klum. Phew, that felt good. Well here we go...let's start with best as not to scare you. 

BEST: 

Sofia Vergara in St. John's Knits. Seriously this woman could wear trash bags with actual trash in them and still be fabulous. I want to know who's blood she's drinking, this woman does not age or fray. God damn her. 

Ellie Kemper in Naeem Khan. She's adorable, her show's really sweet, and this dress would be totally problematic on most people but she carried it flawlessly, I wish her hair was down because it would have totally matched. 

Lea Delaria in I don't know. I am so in love with Lea. With this androgynous crushed velvet maroon suit, she looks so fabulous. Coupled with those trademark glasses of hers, she wins.

Emma Roberts in Jenny Packham. She's so young,  I don't know why she chose a gown that would usually be donned by someone twice her age. She kind of looks a bit Granny Chic in it, but with the long blonde hair and those doe-eyes, she makes it work on her teeny frame. 

Lady Gaga in Brandon Maxwell. I guess the days of Alexander McQueen and Philip Treacy are over. Gaga is an actress now and definitely brought a sense of Old Hollywood chic to the event. Less is more, and she nailed it. Definitely best dressed. She looks unbelievable.

Kerry Washington in Marc Jacobs. At first I hated this dress, but after tossing and turning all night I had a change of heart. It's a little, well weird. But Kerry carries it so well, I have to put her on the Best Dresed end. It's fashion forward, and very flattering. 

Jill Soloway in Bottega Veneta. Out of all of the pants suits, this has to be my favorite. It works brilliantly on her. I just love the whole, let's make every part of the outfit the same exact material and pattern. It's quirky, simple, and looks great on her. 

Jackie Cruz in Christian Siriano. The ladies from OITNB definitely know how to clean up for the red carpet...for the most part. No one this time was as stunning as Jackie Cruz in this plunging neckline high slit dress. It's so elegant, and something usually reserved for Sofia Vergara, but props to you Jackie, you actually beat her to the punch.

Allison Janney in again, I don't know. This is a ballsy dress for anyone much less a 55 year old. But my god what a stunning body on that woman. She's probably my second favorite of the night. The dress is almost a little too much and could look like something an AVN award winner would wear, but Janney is so elegant, she makes it a work of art. Congrats on the Emmy btdubs.

Laverne Cox in Calvin Klein. She slays basically every red carpet she walks on, and this really minimalist turquoise number reminds me of Jennifer Lawrence's Calvin Klein dress she wore to her first Oscar ceremony. That color looks amazing on her, and she's just stunning overall. 

Tatiana Maslani in Buchra Jarrar. This plunging neckline white pants suit is everything. It's so awesome. A girl like Tatiana who probably doesn't weigh more than 100 pounds can basically wear anything, and I'm so grateful she opted for the pants and not the gown. Slender and sophisticated, she shines on the red carpet. Also I love the white.

Samira Wiley in I DON'T KNOW! Samira always wears these kinds of minimalist gowns which she compensates for by wearing a really bright color. Hey the formula works. It reminds me of that Tom Ford white gown that Gwenyth wore...look it up. The one sleeve thing is so hot right now, especially when the other sleeve is a cape. 'This is the best costume for today' (look that up too). 

Sarah Hyland in Zac Posen. This is a young girl who basically styles herself like someone 10 years older than her. Her flair for fashion is very advanced, and she rarely looks problematic. She looks vibrant and elegant. She's got such a pretty face and figure, she doesn't need much to achieve props on the red carpet. 

Carrie Brownstein in Stella McCartney. Let's end with another pants suit. I would wear this every day, could I afford Stella McCartney. Accented by bright red lipstick and brilliant heels, this is so chic, and so beautiful on Carrie. Bravo!

And now, for the WORST. Be prepared. 

Jane Krakowski in Bibhu Mohaptra. Looks like it's Zac Posen but it's not. It totally washes her out and is a bit too tight. But that's not the main problem. It's boooooring. And the color blocking is way off. Also the mermaid dress went out about 3 years ago. 

Claire Danes in Prada. What the fuck is this dress honestly? The metal chains coupled with a shiny purple textile is the worst! Hashtag hated it. Probably the most flattering thing on her is her husband. 

Lena Headey in Zuhair Murad. I feel so sorry for this designer. On the runway, his gowns are the epitome of fashion forward and chic, but he always has to dress people like Kristen Stewart or Lena Headey for red carpets and they just don't do his clothes justice. It's an interesting gown, it just looks awful on her. She looks awful put it that way. 

Taylor Schilling in Stella McCartney. Mustard yellow is never a good choice ok? This flowy ruffled backless...thing looks like it was made up from scraps left over from the Gone With the Wind wardrobe department. Epic fail. 

Christina Hendricks in I can't find it! But c'mon whomever it was probably went into witness protection after this. This is a laughable dress. And not to be a bitch here (too late) when you're curvy, don't wear something that accentuates that. She looks like the Chrysler Building. 

Regina King in again, no clue. But seriously? Did she miss prom night? I love Regina King, but the dress is awful. It's not chic, it's not flattering, it's homey and it's ridiculous. The beading is all wrong, and why is the length off? If it was just a white, sleeveless dress that was two inches longer it might have worked, but it's not. It's blah.

Julianne Hough in S&M chic. I thought she looked pretty, but the dress is really slutty I'm sorry. No I'm not. The top of it looks like it belongs in an early 90's Madonna video and the bottom is all wrong. It's two different dresses sloppily meshed into one, and she looks like she's going to an Eyes Wide Shut party, not walking the red carpet at the Emmy's. 

Taryn Manning in Rubin Singer. She looks like she's going to an Addam's Family theme party for Halloween. She's gorgeous in real life, but the cape thing that worked so well for Samira looks terrifying on her. And are those shoulder pads? For the love of god!

Zoe Kazan in Miu Miu. Again, this was one that I had a change of heart about. It's playful, I love the textile pattern, but it's not right for her. It would look great on someone like Nicole Kidman or Naomi Watts, but on her, it looks out of place and mismatched. She is not nearly sophisticated enough for this dress. 

Amy Poehler in Michael Kors. I'm so sorry Amy, I adore you and you totally should have won, but this dress looks like you made it yourself. Your whole look seems like you've given up, which you kind of have considering you've lost every time, but you can still rock it on the red carpet. I remember the Golden Globes. Pull yourself together woman!

Chelsea Peretti in Gabriela Cadena. Oh god, where do I start? Again, this dress is suffering from multiple personality disorder. It's hideous. I don't care if it looks great walking down the runway on a 5'10 model, it's a hot mess. Hate it hate it hate it. Can't erase it from my memory. #neveragain.

Gwendolyn Christie in blah. Nice try at being Emma Roberts. The retro 20's hair, and the paler beyond pale skin is all wrong. This DVF wrap-dress looking fiasco looks more like a high end hotel room bath robe. 

Stephen Merchant's girlfriend in whatever the fuck she's wearing has to be mentioned. This looks like sleazy lingerie you buy for your boyfriend because he has no taste, not something you put on to walk a red carpet. Jesus christ, cover up at least SOMETHING. Also, you're not an abstract expressionist painting just so we're clear. 

Amanda Peet in (again) Michael Kors. I totally don't get the whole almost bare midriff look. Kristen Wiig did it two years ago with J. Mendel and that worked, but this year, it's hideous. Peet is very chic regardless, and chose a simple updo and barely there jewelry to compliment this, but again the dress is wearing her no the other way around. 

Heidi Klum in Versace. Someone gauge my eyes out right the fuck now. This is a crime against humanity. As I said, yellow rarely works, and even when it's Versace it's easy to look like the inside of a blender after a banana smoothie. Heidi, we know you're a model, so you know everything about fashion so please stop experimenting. It's NOT WORKING!

Naomi Grossman in couldn't find the designer. I think he shot himself. I love AHS, I love Naomi. But whyyyyyyyyyy. This is not appropriate, it is not flattering. It's the 80's meets Jackson Pollock through the mentally insane filter. This dress is horrible in every way I don't even know where to start. Never do this again Naomi. 

Sarah Paulson in Prabal Gurung. It physically hurts me to put more than one AHS star on the Worst Dressed List but they totally sucked this year. Sarah is a beautiful woman, but this dress is so boring I want to cry. It looks like a reject from Betty Draper's wardrobe. It's trying to be retro but it's not, it's just well....nothing. The blue sequins thing is so tired, and I'm hating the off the shoulder BS. knock it off. 

Ok now blogger is being a little bitch and not letting me download anymore, but that's fine, I can't do this much longer. Just to bookend it. Some other people that totally disappointed last night were Anna Chlumsky, Porsha Williams, Lauren Lapkus and Nazanin Bonaidi, but you can google those can't you? Honorable mention for Best Dressed goes to Julie Bowen and Julia Louise Dreyfus. They both wore plain black dresses which would look good on anyone so only worth mentioning in the post script. 

And there you have it. Basically it was like no one even tried this year. I know it's not the Oscars, but c'mon. Stop wearing 'right off the runway' and figure out what looks good on you. And when in doubt, Valentino it. 

My Doppleganger on OITNB

Brook Soso played by Kimiko Glenn

Let's firstly admit that the hardest thing for a writer to do for scripted TV is something that involves multi-protagonists. Lost nailed it, but those shows are few and far between. Those of us who have watched Orange is the New Black from beginning to end can see that the writer's first avoided this, but soon realized that the gold was in the neck (supporting characters) not the head (Piper Chapman). They also had enough wear with all to utilize the same 'flashback' recipe that worked so well for the Lost cannon. It's simple math. You have a prison, there's clearly more than one person there, and each one of the supporting characters has a reason they ended up in federal corrections, so why not use half of each episode to explore that? And boom, they struck gold. The first season was very flawed, but because it was so innovative, exploratory and unapologetic it was good bait and got all of us hooked. But had they stuck with following around the needy, entitled Chapman (Taylor Schilling) for all three seasons ratings would have plummeted faster than Donald Trump's. 

By the second season, they started giving the more prominent supporting players their own episodes and flashbacks. One in particular that sticks out is Lorna Morello's (Yael Stone). I've heard men who couldn't care less about that show say that they loved that episode and talk about it with vigor. Morello starts off the series as a rather hair-brained quasi-racist Italian from Jersey whom we don't necessarily hate but we definitely don't respect. The hyper-feminine inmate can't stop talking about some boyfriend and their subsequent wedding and we soon realize she has delusions of grandeur. She also seems to be somewhat sexually ambivalent in that she seems totally committed to this nameless faceless man, but allows Nicky Nichols (Natasha Lyonne) to go down on her on a daily basis. She keeps collaging what she calls a 'vision board' for what she absolutely believes will happen upon release, but somewhere deep inside of us we know that something is not exactly lining up. In the second season we learn the gravity of all of it. Turns out Morello was actually a 9th-level stalker of that guy she claimed was her fiancee and was convicted of breaking into his house on several occasions.

One of the most heartbreaking stories of the inmates of Litchfield. Lorna's plight is unforgettable even though totally implausible.

The genius of the writers made us actually feel for this woman in her flashback episode because as the truck driver for Litchfield, she decides to take off one day to that man's house and finds that he's in the middle of planning his wedding to someone else. She puts on the woman's veil and takes the world's saddest bath in their house. And we just can't help but feel sorry for her. 

By the third season, the writer's had covered most backstories of the Litchfield inmates who have more than 4 minutes of screen time with one serious omission. Someone whom I connected to immediately, and someone who talks about her life so much to her inmates that in fact she might not need an actual backstory episode; Brook Soso. She's introduced in Season 2 as a quirky, naive, teeny, and highly educated blabber-mouth who annoys everyone around her, sticks out like a sore thumb, but has a sweet disposition regardless. By season 3, she's finally pushed to her breaking point, by being constantly picked on, dehumanized, and bullied, culminating in Leanne's (Emma Myles) cutting off her hair while she's sleeping, the likes of which we haven't seen since the soap in sock beating of Gomer Pile in Full Metal Jacket. 

Everyone at Litchfield is given some kind of forgiveness and turnaround. Even the homophobic meth head Pennsatucky (Taryn Manning) has a 180 degree change of character, the only one who seems to be actually getting worse is Chapman herself. But Soso seems to have always remained an innocent, never plotting or being vindictive, she's the classic victim, but by the end of the season she turns from victim to survivor and we can't help but applaud that. 

Brook finally stands her ground.

The writers definitely give her her comeuppance though. Considering she's one hell of a smart cookie she retorts to her bully by saying 'it's hard for me not to be condescending when you're literally beneath me right now' when the others are forced to wash the floor. And my personal favorite; 'I can't help that I have Pocahontas hair and it's not my fault you chose Meth over teeth'. 

SPOILER ALERT. Stop reading here if you still haven't finished the season, I mean it's been two months get on it. In the last episode, the barrage of negativity against her takes its toll and Soso, left without any other options takes about a drum of Benadryl, saved by the grace of Poussey, Crazy Eyes, and mostly Taystee. And in the last episode gets inducted into their clique, considering she's been a lone wolf from her induction day. She might not be the most dynamic inmate at the Litchfield Correctional Facility, nor one with any kind of interesting journey to prison. All we find out about her is that she had a strict mother who pushed her since she was old enough to walk.
As women, we can all find one or more characters from the inmates at Litchfield to relate to. I definitely see aspects of myself in Gloria, Nicky, Flaca, and of course Red, but Soso had my heart from the word go. Her story might not be as interesting and dynamic as everyone else's but her character is one that I recognize very well. 

Finding peace in the freedom lake.

In a brief flashback we see her get scolded for playing the piano wrong, and as a child upon whom piano was forced, I totally remember that and can fully relate. Keep in mind I had Russian teachers fresh out of the Soviet Union, so it wasn't pleasant. I personally can also relate to when she straight up asks for help and gets none. With Healy (Michael Harney), the chauvinistic old-timer with ancient morale and a strict disposition telling her that depression is all in her head and she just needs to lighten up and the prison doctor trying to shove SSRI's down her throat, when all she wanted was just a little acceptance, we can understand why Soso felt so trapped. And in that amazing lake scene when she clings arms with Poussey (Samira Wiley) and then physically and metaphorically jumps into her circle, it's such a release. It seems that most things that happen to her, happen unfairly, and perhaps that's why she's not given a backstory. Everyone else is definitely guilty whether they were forced to do what got them incarcerated or not. But Soso is almost like a child. She has an adolescent innocence about her, and even though she can be a know-it-all and seems to never shut the fuck up, we're all glad that Taystee was able to revive her. Let's hope for a full on Soso episode in Season 4. 

That Reason Why We're Watching OITNB Part 3

Androgyny is back and her name is Ruby.

Not only does Cindy give the best speech about wanting to convert to Judaism and as a card carrying member of the tribe, it was refreshing to see my people shown in such an interesting light, which all stemmed from wanting to get Kosher meals in prison which is better than the gruel the are being served, and then she has a magical Mikvah (that's when  you dunk the person in water fully submerged kinda like an adult baptism to let them into the tribe, as in fully absorbed), and it was beautifully shot and executed, we all know where I'm going. Her name is Ruby Rose, her character's name is Stella; she australian and covered in tattoos and Piper's (who is the worst) rebound from Alex. 

Instagram queen, and yea she's straight up in Bieber garb but like you wouldn't still hit that. Be honest.

If your'e screaming spoiler alert at the computer get a life, kill it, and stay home and marathon OITNB on Netflix. Anyway, as Alex Vause would put it, Stella is a Justin Bieber look alike, but do we actually give a shit, she's great at panty vag sweat (yeah that's content of the show), makes her own tattoo needles, and talks back to correction officers, I mean bitch is a badass, and I'm secure enough in my sexuality to say that. I know that Facebook, Twitter and Instagram has been exploding with how much they love Ruby, but I would marry this person. Like right now. Former MTV VJ, turned Maybelline model, turned bona fide actress is slaying it right now.

In the spirit of being true to the atmosphere, yeah women shower together, and our dear Stella doesn't use towels. Could she be more badass? Piper is visibly impressed. 

Even though she betrays Piper in the end, who honestly gives a shit with that short asymmetrical haircut, those piercing blue eyes, and that really interesting barely there Aussie accent. There is a scene where she is completely naked because she loves to 'air dry' and it's good to know we have that in common. By the way, she can tattoo 'trust no bitch' on me anywhere, anytime. 

I know it's very silly when you say 'oh I'm huge in Australia', but now she's universal, and I wouldn't be surprised if an Emmy nomination for Best Guest Star is coming up for her. If you follow her on Instagram...which I do, she seriously has the best selfies this side of Gigi Hadid. She was a breath of fresh air, because people started going off the deep end. Thank god for Cindy, Crazy Eyes, Gloria, Lorna and Taystee...and to some extent Soso for keeping the show together not that it was coming apart, but the 'main' character, Piper is slowly becoming just the WOOOOORST (sorry there's no better way for me to say it) even Pennsatucky is having a huge character change due to her new friendship with Big Boo (also a big love of mine (Power to Lea!). But Ruby Rose, you have the sexiest name on the planet, you are one big bad ass with a body built for sin, and a stare that is so piercing I just want to have the most intense prison sex experience with you in the worst way, and then you can tattoo me, and not an infinity symbol. If you don't watch the show you don't get that reference and I feel sorry for you. 

Trailers below: 

Best and Worst Dressed at the Emmy's Don't Expect Any Sympathy People

This year was so polarizing I mean the list should be called the fabulous, and the ones going into the ninth circle of hell. Let's Start with WORST shall we? As always, in no particular order. 10 and 10 here we go.

Anna Chlumsky in Zac Posen. What the hell seriously? Why is this dress so ill-fitted and reminds me of a nun's habit? Anna and Zac I am disappointed.

Kaley Cuoco in Monique Lhullier. Monique is an absolute favorite of mine, her Bridal collection is to die for in fact a very lucky friend of mine just made a purchase there for her upcoming nuptials (am I jealous, of course!) Anyway! This happens to look like prom night at Coachella. 

Kate Mara in J. Mendel. J. Mendel is so hard to fuck up on the red carpet. He is basically the go-to when you don't know who to wear. I can't believe Kate is this misguided. That dress is suffering from multiple personality disorder. 

Katherine Heigl in John Hayles. First of all...who? Second of all. I had no idea Katherine Heigl was 62 years old. Beige satin, really???

Kerry Washington in Prada. I have tears in my eyes putting her on this list. Kerry has one of the best bodies in Hollywood, but this homage to Orange is the New Black made her look about 5 sizes bigger than she actually is, and that weird sequin booty short thing sticking out of the slit is just ridiculous. Get it together, Olivia Pope. 

Louise Roe in (again) Monique Lhullier. Leave her dresses for the wedding and stop wearing them on the red carpet. Bunched-up skirts NEVER win mmmkay?

Michelle Dockery usually stuns on the red carpet with that fair skin, perfectly arched eye-brows, and a body that just won't quit, but what't his poorly-fitted, horrible color schemed, foldy Rosie Assoulin dress that washes her right out? She looks like Employee of the Month at American Airlines.

And yet another stunning British actress who needs to fire her stylist. How do you possibly fuck up dressing Natalie Dormer. Apparently when you put her in this weird duo-mermaid gown from 5 seasons ago by J. Mendel (AGAIN!) it's actually not that hard. Was it off the rack?

Mayim Bialik in i don't know the designer, but I'm assuming Laura Ashley or Lilly Pulitzer threw up all over her. She wanted to look 'hot and holy' I'm sorry to tell you Mayim, but you're neither.

And let's end the Worst list with the dress that made us all reach for a red hot poker to stick right into our eyeballs. What. The. Holy. Fuck. I just don't even have the words, and if I did, I think this blog would have to be taken down, because if I clean up what I have to say about this, it wouldn't even make sense. Just profanity, profanity, profanity and profanity. Lena Dunham I hate you, and you look horrible. When not even Giambattista Valli can help you, lay down honey, you're dead. 

OOOOOF. That felt good. Ok now, for a change of pace, here are the BEST!

The girls from OITNB must really love Christian Siriano, but let's face it Samira Wiley looks great in anything, even a tan jumpsuit. 

Sarah Hyland is acting extremely mature for her age in this very interesting crop top and ball-gown skirt by (again) Christian Siriano. He's definitely winning this season. 

Amy Poehler in Don O'Neill. A barely heard of designer made this 42 year old mother of two beat out most 20-something's on the red carpet. Who said that funny women can't be stunning?

One of my personal favorites of the night, the stunning Lizzy Caplan in Donna Karan Atelier. This woman has fabulous taste. Another funny girl who proves she can turn serious heads wherever she goes. Masters of Sex FTW!

January Jones usually royally fucks up every red carpet she sets foot on, but she stunned in this Prabal Gurung red number. With so many reds on the red carpet, this one was definitely the no-contest winner, and Prabal Gurung, being the next it-boy in haute-couture did not disappoint. 

And now for my favorite look of the night, on anyone else it would have tanked faster than the Titanic, but ol' 40-something Julie Roberts proves that she can still rock a pair of Louboutins and an Elie Saab on that show off those crazy legs of hers. You go girl.

Lucy Lui in Zac Posen. Now Zac darling makes most best and worst dressed this year, though it's hard for me to imagine dressing a woman poorly, but this one he hit out of the park. I'm loving the off-white and it's the perfect shape on someone like Lucy. But where's her 'fucking Birkin?'

Let's here it for those OITNB hotties that outside of their beige jumpsuits stun on the red carpet. But still surprised people are wearing Christian Siriano. Doesn't matter, Uzo Aduba is ridiculous, what a pleasant surprise. 

Julianna Marguilies was fabulous in this Narciso Rodriguez number which I have to admit I haven't seen on the red carpet since the late 90's. Also, this is kind of a shout out to my girl Dominique who works on The Good Wife. I still can't believe Julie hasn't won an Emmy since she was on ER, again putting a bunch of 20-something's to shame.

Everyone's favorite blonde-girl inmate at Litchfield prison, Taylor Schilling doesn't have to try hard to look amaze-balls. But with a little help from my personal favorite designer, Zuhair Murad, this look goes a long way.