11 Things I Loved In The 90's: Part Deux

Hard to sum up everything awesome about the 90's in just 11 things. Here's 11 more. Because 22 just about covers it. Look at how good my math is. So here's some more stuff that gives me a nostalgia boner. Again, in no particular order:

Raves.
Before you Coachella jerk offs made music festivals basic, and mainstream, raves were the it thing in the 90's. I'm not going to incriminate myself and talk about ALL of it, but it was our Studio 54. I was a bit of a Candy Kid, wearing bracelets up to my elbows and honest to god thought House music was the shit. (no comment). This was back in the day where you had to go to like an abandoned warehouse, get a secret map, go to another location get another secret map and a glitter butterfly sticker and finally find yourself in an abandoned warehouse between stab street and murder avenue. Good times. 

Nu Metal.
Yes darlings, your angelic friend was once full on into baggy wide legged pants, the Vans Warped Tour and Korn with a backwards R. It was all very angsty and alternative; two adjectives that defined my teens. Fun fact: I was a cheerleader despite all of that my junior year of high school and our big end routine was to Limp Bizkit's Rollin' yeah...I get sick just thinking about it. 

The Bee Girl.
If you had ANY time in the 90's the damn bee girl from the Blind Melon 'No Rain' music video is seared into your memory. No one even remembers the song, or what the bee girl has to do with it. They honestly don't go together but she is doomed to spend the rest of her life living down being the definitive cliché of the 90's. 

Ben Affleck and Matt Damon winning Best Screenplay.
Before Batfeck and Jason Bourne, there was Ben and Matt, two kids barely old enough to drive who wrote arguably the best script of that year, turned into Good Will Hunting with iconoclast director Gus Van Sant at the helm. But it's their speech after receiving the golden naked dude presented to them by Jack Lemmon and Walter Matthau that I can watch over and over again.

The Freddie Mercury Tribute Concert.
In 1991 Freddie Mercury, legendary frontman of Queen added his name to an ever growing list of casualties of AIDS. By then, Queen was my favorite band (my dad taught me well) and a year later his remaining band mates accompanied by some of musics' biggest acts such as Elton John, George Michael, David Bowie and Annie Lennox paid tribute to him in an unprecedented concert at Wembley Stadium, the profits of which went to various AIDS charities. It gives me goosebumps to watch it to this day and though most people's favorite part was Elton John's duet with Axl Rose of 'Bohemian Rhapsody', but George Michael singing 'Somebody to Love' steals the show.

Life After Death.
After the fatal shooting of its artist, the aptly titled album 'Life After Death' hit Tower Records, and yeah I camped out for a CD. Helmed by anthems like 'Hypnotize' and 'Mo Money Mo Problems', even us white dorks were able to appreciate its artistry, sadly it would be the last of Biggie's gifts. Put it on a loop and drive aimlessly. Trust me. 

O Captain, My Captain.
Again, if you grew up in the 90's this scene from Dead Poets Society is tattooed on your skull. Do you know how much the youtube views jumped after the tragic and untimely death of its star Robin Williams? That's what makes this scene even more resonant now, and even more heartbreaking. I seriously can't watch it without crying, but now it's can't watch it without full on bawling. Fight the power boys. 

The 'Closer' music video.
Long before Taylor Swift's annoyingly iconic 'Shake it Off' video, Mark Romanek was just a struggling short film director until Trent Reznor tapped him to direct Nine Inch Nails' breakthrough video for the song 'Closer'. Shot on a hand crank silent 16 mm Bolex similar to the cameras used by Buster Keaton and Charlie Chaplin and layered with disturbing imagery like a monkey tied to a cross and a pig head spinning on a metal torture contraption I don't have to tell you, I immediately loved it.

Death Row Records.
When Death Row Records was formed in 1991 by Dre, Suge Knight and The D.O.C., it launched some of the greatest artists of the early 90's including Tupac, Snoop, and Nate, and inadvertently ignited hostilities between West coast and East coast rap empires that lead to the untimely deaths of Tupac and the aforementioned Biggie. Beyond the tragedy and politics, Death Row Records gave us kids in the suburbs something we couldn't stop listening to and something that terrified our parents. Talk about two birds.

Welcome to the Dollhouse.
You probably know by now that I don't go for your typical movies, or even a-typical. And it's even more rare that I watch a movie that I still would bear hug today. Welcome to the Dollhouse might be that anomaly. Director Todd Haynes didn't push the envelope, he built an airplane of it and shoved it sideways up Hollywood's ass. It's the most bizarre, non sequitur, heart-felt, and heart-breaking story you'll ever see about an 11 year old. I saw it at 11 and at 32, it still speaks to me.

Paul Verhoeven.
Here's a list for ya. Basic Instinct. Showgirls. Total Recall. Starship Troopers. Need I say more?

Below...more crap!

400th Blog Post!

Well ladies and gents. I've reached 400. My god what have I done with my life? I started his blog in 2010, and have finally gotten to 400. I consider that a feat, I don't care. I'm very proud of my blog and can't believe it's been 5 years and 400 posts. I've written probably about 7 pieces on Marilyn Monroe, about as many on Edie Sedgwick, Orson Welles, Spring Breakers, Downton Abbey...and then it came to me. Ask yourself...who whether you like it or not is a living icon that our generation grew up on? Who is perhaps the most photographed person right now? And who is instantly recognizable in their work, look, or sound? Let's spare anymore suspense....It's Britney, bitch. 

For my 400th I thought the best thing to do was to give you the ultimate countdown of her best music videos. She's had quite a lot of them, and not all made the cut. But every single one is special in its own way and molded the persona, career, and immortality of perhaps our generation's most recognizable figure. Recently she received one of those 'Lifetime achievement awards' at the VMA's (not sure what they call it) Video Vanguard, that's it. It was given to her by Lady Gaga and a tribute of her greatest moments was performed. Love her, hate her, or simply don't care, you can't not acknowledge that she is now synonymous with pop culture. We've watched her grow from a teeny-bopper school girl, into a villainous sex-pot, watched her self-destruct, and rise from the ashes like the Phoenix that she is. If you're my age, it's hard to remember a time when Britney wasn't part of our lives, and I think all of us are surprised that she's lasted this long. Homegirl might not have the voice of Whitney Houston, the versatility of Madonna, or the creative bravado or Lady Gaga, but there's no question that she's earned her place not only in the music industry, but in iconography. This is mainly due to her music videos so let's start the countdown shall we? 

10. Piece of Me (2007)

At #10, we have Piece of Me. This is perhaps her most blatant fuck-you to the media that’s haunted her for most of her life. Every single lyric says it all. ‘I’m Mrs. She’s to thick now she’s too thin’, ‘I’m Mrs. Oh my god that Britney’s shameless’ …’you want a piece of me?’. The video is simple enough. It’s her barely dancing against bright colorful flashing lights, and every once in a while cuts to her doing something that she became notorious for doing; partying and having it show up on a newspaper. It’s a very unapologetic message. Someone once compared her to the female Elvis. No, she’s not as talented as him, it’s meant in the way that no one was ever that famous and thrust into the blinding glare of the media spotlight basically all the livelong day. I can see why she had a meltdown eventually. And with this song she’s not saying ‘poor me, leave me alone’. She’s saying, ‘come and get it, bitch’.

9. Everytime (2004)

This is perhaps the video that I still struggle with but I had to include it if for no better reason than that the song is sung by a cornrowed James Franco in one of my favorite films ever; Spring Breakers. I swear every time the song ends I hear Franco’s voice in my head whisper ‘Spring Breaaaaak’. It literally doesn’t make any sense, but the song is very pretty. It’s one of the few ballads that Britney’s ever done, and it’s the best one. In the video she’s in a hospital, then she’s arguing with a boyfriend (played comically enough by Stephen Dorff), then she’s dead, then she’s in a bathtub. I don’t get it. I really don’t. It kind of looks like a really bad student film, but Britney makes it come together. The imagery matches the tone and the lilting lyrics of the song. She get’s my approval…as does James Franco. Sometimes I think I prefer his version more. 

8. Criminal (2011)

Criminal is one of her most recent efforts off of her Femme Fatal record. It’s perhaps her most unlikely video. It’s very Madonna. She’s for once not in charge of her fate. In it, she falls in love with…a criminal, but he’s sexy and drives a motorcycle and we know that’s catnip for Britney. The man just happens to be her then-fiancé Jason Trawick with whom she gets caught up in a Bonnie & Clyde kind of scenario in England for some reason. The video ends with them making out amidst a hail of police bullets in slow motion. Sound hoaky, I know, but it’s really cool. And she’s naked in the shower. And she plays with guns. Bingo, I have bingo.

7. Stronger (2000)

This is the first collaboration with director Joseph Kahn. It’s somewhat non-linear and weird, but the choreography makes up for it. She’s in some kind of spinning room like the restaurant at the Marriott in Times Square…then she’s driving a car over a collapsed highway in the rain, but the best part of course is her dance with a moving chair. That was very Gene Kelly/Fred Astaire of her, and totally blew my mind. Also, if you listen to the lyrics, it’s about a lot of fluff obviously, but it’s very deliberately contradicting her former attitude towards men. When in Baby…One More Time there’s the line ‘my loneliness is killing me’ in Stronger the lyric goes ‘my loneliness ain’t killing me no more’. Heavy right? She’s a poet. 

6. Womanizer (2008)

I love Womanizer. It was the first single from Circus, and had announced to the world; Hey everyone, I’m not batshit anymore…and I have hair again. It’s basically a Toxic Part II, but steamier. Instead of writhing around on the floor in a nude glitter suit, she’s again, in a sauna, completely naked narrating the story of a woman who stalks her cheating boyfriend by (again) having three incarnations. The song is actually brilliant when you think about it. The chorus is unique in how repetitive and fast it is, and this video displays Britney’s confidence better than any other. She’s playing by her own rules now people, don’t be the unlucky one that gets in her way. 

5. ...Baby One More Time (1999)

Ah the video that started it all. I know considering its significance it should probably be number 1, but as a video it’s not as strong as some of the others; and that is exactly the essence of Britney. When this single and the video hit, people were asking themselves; how does a pop star possibly top that? She did. Many a time. But let’s go back. Turns out the concept was all Britney’s idea. The director wanted some kind of cartoonish thing, but Britney suggested that they set it in a school and donned the now iconic schoolgirl uniform to dance to some of the most 90’s choreography ever. Ironically, the whole wardrobe for everyone in the video was bought at K-Mart. It appealed to that very evil thing in men where you dress like a slut but tell people you’re a virgin. She had the little girl bangs, the falsetto out-of-breath voice, and the goddamn pigtails and announced her arrival in a very ballsy way. 

4. Circus (2008)

Circus is just a very well directed video. Off of her album…Circus, it’s set in a…circus. It’s funny how Christina Aguilera always seems to be on the music video heels of Britney because after this video dropped, Christina’s Hurt premiered, and it was also set in a circus. Not to mention that Christina’s infamous fuckfest orgy video for Dirrty hit about 2 months after I’m a Slave 4 U and even though it was blatantly more sexual, I remember thinking; ‘Britney did it better’. Anyway, Britney was fresh from her very public meltdown and wanted to prove that she was still at the top of her game. She looked amazing, playing a ringmaster, and the choreography was a break from what we’d usually seen her do. It was much more complex and advanced, proving to everyone that this bitch can dance. 

3. I'm a Slave 4 U (2001)

Perhaps Britney’s sexiest video and maybe one of the sexiest videos of all time. Britney was no longer the school girl with a midriff that won’t quit. Donning leather low-riders and a few pieces of bright pink fabric to cover her boobs, the video puts her in a giant sauna of some kind. Everyone is sweaty as fuck, and just has to dance damn it. Some costume genius decided to spray Britney with olive oil in between takes so she always looks like she’s dripping in sweat, and what’s sexier than that? The heavy panting probably. I remember watching it for the first time and being ‘Woah, what happened to innocent school girl Britney?’ This was her loudest transition into her sex-pot persona. She played this up by performing the song at that year’s VMA’s with a live giant python wrapped around her. It’s considered to be one of the best and most significant performances of that show’s history.  

2. Oops!...I Did It Again (2000)

I’m sorry but I love this song and the video, albeit totally weird, it is hilarious and infectiously catchy just like the song. After ...Baby One More Time, everyone thought; well she’s cool and of the times, but who knows if she has staying power? When Oops!…I Did it Again dropped, coupled with a solid video, people realized Britney was here to stay. In her red cat suit, and that ridiculous choreography she became an icon before our very eyes. More than anything, it’s just fun, and even if you hated it, you really loved it and rock out to it when the windows are rolled up. And admit it, you can do the dance too. 

1. Toxic (2003)

Did you really not see this coming? Toxic is not only her best video but her best song. It was the first conscious break from the bubble-gum pop era of Britney and the first single off her 4^th album ‘In the Zone’. She teamed up with avant-garde video director Joseph Kahn again, who previously worked with the likes of Eminem, Moby, Christina Aguilera, and TLC. It’s the first of her videos to tell a cohesive (albeit highly surreal and hyper-visualized) story that involves an angry beauty seeking revenge on a man that wronged her and eventually killing him. Britney has three significant incarnations that not only make her look unbelievable, but helped disguise her in her quest. Tyson makes a cameo as her motorcycle driver, and of course there’s that nude suit with glitter on it barely concealing well anything in the video. The song style borrows heavily from the music of the 70’s, particularly ABBA and was an instant hit. The video is just as iconic, and signified that Britney was growing up. 

Now rock out like there's no one there to judge you. 

Below, that Video Vanguard thing I was talking about. 

And the Oscar for Best Director of All Time Goes To...

'I'm a writer, but then...nobody's perfect'

Every once in a while I like to back track a bit and get off the Bravo Real Housewives tittie. I normally don't like to throw my Ivy League degree in Film Studies into people's faces but, hey ya'll! I got an Ivy League Master's degree in Film Studies: Translation I got the world's most useless degree in one of the most prestigious Universities in the continental United States and am knee deep in student debt that will cripple me until the end of time. Ergo, I have somewhat of an encyclopedic knowledge of cinema that serves no purpose whatsoever and impresses absolutely no one. Yay me! 

But once in a while I'd like to utilize that and open people up to something they might not be aware of or worse care about, but this is my blog and I get to do whatever I want so strap in. It's not an excerpt from my dissertation on Warhol so don't worry. I'll sprinkle some snark and fun facts all over it and make it readable. 

A filmmaker that first put me on this useless track to no where was Billy Wilder. I was 10 and my dad made me sit down to watch Some Like it Hot one afternoon. Even though it's an oldie, most of you have probably seen it considering how iconic it is, if you haven't then it's about time you crawled out of that cave you've been living in. My dad was like that. If he had something he wanted to turn you on to, you didn't really have a say in it. And that's basically what I'm doing to you now, obviously you could stop reading but where's the fun in that? Also, I can't ground you if you do, so I have substantially less power. Nothing I can say will have as much resonance than his films on their own, but here's trying. 

Wilder collaborated withMonroe on two films. In this scene all she had to say was 'where's that bourbon?' It took over 20 takes. He later quipped that Ms. Monroe had breasts like melons and a brain like Swiss cheese. You can say it was a love/hate relationship.

I don't think in the history of cinema there has been a director more consistent than Wilder. Even Hitchcock had his ehhh moments. But name me a Billy Wilder film that didn't really ride...I dare you. In my subjective (and well-informed) opinion, there are none. One after another, after another, Wilder never faltered and excelled in every genre he tackled from Film Noir to slapstick comedy to puckish satire. If I was to try to put into a syntax his films from best to worst I couldn't possibly because each shines in their own way. Sunset Blvd. is just as good as Some Like it Hot, Double Indemnity is just as good as Ace in the Hole, One, Two, Three is just as good as The Apartment, the list goes on. All of his films are excellent leave it at that. So let's reserve to talking about one in particular. I've had many arguments with people about this film, it's one of two in his catalogue to win Best Picture honors and one that I always mistakenly put at the bottom of my list as in; well I like it but that's as far as that goes. I was wrong I admit it. 

Wilder with one of his favorite actors, Jack Lemmon. A man who really understood how to handle Wilder's material.

I'm talking about The Apartment. A film that most Wilder fans would say is their favorite so I by force of habit initially argued against it, but I no longer can, ok? You win people, it's genius, it's brilliant, it's everything, can I marry it? Considering Wilder was the king of making films with highly controversial themes and masking them so they slid right by the censors, this film really takes the cake. It concerns a mid-level insurance salesman of sorts C. C. Baxter (Jack Lemmon) who basically pimps out his apartment for his higher ups at the company so that he can get ahead and they can quietly cheat on their wives. Things take a turn when an adorable elevator operator named Fran Kubelik (Shirey MacLaine) attempts suicide after a particularly bad break up in said apartment with none other than Baxter's boss. This sounds like something that Aronofsky, Bigelow, or Jarmusch would direct today and it would be highly depressing, make everyone feel like they wanted to blow their brains out and win all the Academy Awards for being the most bleak film of the year with the most good cry moments. Surprise surprise it's a comedy. And only Wilder could do that. Well, it's a romantic comedy, but a comedy none-the-less, and if you think about the plot, you have to wonder how on earth it got passed the rigid Hollywood censorship board of 1960. 

C. C. Baxter (Lemmon) and Ms. Kubelik (MacLaine) share a moment. 

Also you might have noticed it has an element of being anti-capitalist (definitely a no-no for those times) but with Wilder's wit and flair for farce and satire, it coupled better than buttercream and red velvet cake. It's served as the basis for many films and shows that followed, particularly of our generation, hence it was way ahead of its time. American Beauty, regardless of being a sweaty piece of turd modeled the plot and mostly the plight of main character after The Apartment; and Matthew Wiener used the film as a blueprint for how an office would function and how people within it would act when he created Mad Men. Perhaps because it's not so far out there like Sunset Blvd., that it flew under my radar, but in retrospect that's its beauty. A film that has a clear message that doesn't beat you over the head with it is always a good one. Subtlety is a very difficult film language, and Wilder was the master of it. Jack Lemmon, a frequent collaborator of Wilder's said that when one reports to set with the script, the script is treated like the bible. Not a comma or apostrophe can be changed. 

All hail the king on his throne.

And all for the better. When Wilder finished a shooting script, there was no need to change a goddamn thing. He's one of the few that when the words went from his brain to the page, they were perfect. If we look at contemporary filmmakers, they seem to have one thing that they are good at, one genre that they shine in, or just one film that we can call 'flawless'. Wilder had about 40 of them. Think about that for a hot minute. On his tombstone is written 'Billy Wilder; I'm a Writer, but Then, Nobody's Perfect'. Even in death, the man had a joke for us and if you know where that joke came from, let's be besties. As I said before, there's little I can say about his films, or The Apartment in particular that the film can't tell you itself so do yourself a favor and watch them! 

Below, some clips to get you warmed up: