Emma Stone: The New Old It Girl

A take on The Virgin Mary (which was also a hilarious SNL sketch)

I haven't blogged in a while, and there's a good reason for that. My last blog was around Halloween, and then the election happened, and I don't know about you but I'm feeling just generally down no matter how many Samantha Bee or Seth Meyers I catch on the Youtubes making fun of this catastrophe.
Yeah 2016 in hindsight was a giant garbage fire. I'm not going to go that far into it, we all know what I'm talking about, but one source of comedy still stands strong and will continue to. The show has been on the air for 40 years and counting. Have you guessed it yet? I'm talking about SNL. You hear me Trump? You hear me racists, bigots, electors, Kellyanne, Mike Pence, Steve Bannon? We're still here, and we still have right to laugh. Ok, enough of my soap box rhetoric. On to some frivolous entertainment musings.
Everyone (especially young white pre-pubescent girls) want to be BFF's with Jennifer Lawrence. She smokes weed, she drinks Two Buck Chuck, she just doesn't give a fuck. In fact she makes such a point not to give a fuck that it's coming off as disingenuous.

Emma hosting SNL for her third time two weeks ago. 

The other day she got some much deserved heat because homegirl loves to run her mouth about all of the weird and embarrassing situations she finds herself in that are usually endearing but not in this case. Long story short; she said that she scratched her ass on sacred rocks in Hawaii where they were shooting Hunger Games: Catching Fire, so hard in fact that she dislodged a giant boulder which rolled down the hill and almost killed the sound guy. She thought it was hilaaaaaarious. Not so much. Also her movies are getting ridiculous. Yes she was Katniss, yes she has an Oscar for a film I really love; Silver Linings Playbook, but that was a while a go, and frankly Passengers looks pretty sweaty to me.
A couple of weeks ago Emma Stone hosted SNL for her third time (not for nothing, but when J-Law hosted it, it was crazy awkward and just proved to all of us that she's not as funny when on-script). In my opinion, it was the best show of the season so far, and one of the best of the last few years. Emma, like Jen seems older than she actually is, perhaps wise beyond her years, but she's quiet, demure, and doesn't pound our heads into the fact that she's JUST LIKE US. She's not.
But she's very very funny. Granted it's not just her, the new head writers at SNL gave her a great script, and she killed it. From the candle song to the cleaning crew Christmas songs to the high school obnoxious improve sketch that I love so much, she was fabulous. Oscars aren't the measure of a good actress. Case and point: Gena Rowlands STILL doesn't have one, and Marisa Tomei does. Explain that logic to me, you know what? Don't. But Stone's performance for which she was nominated (Birdman: Or the Unexpected Virtue of Ignorance) was a really solid and visceral performance. She has a quiet lightning inside of her, and it doesn't help that she's gorgeous. She doesn't have to change her look, hair color, or wear Dior couture all the time (sorry another jab at Jen). She's just herself, and with La La Land coming out worldwide next week, it seems like she's rising while Jen is slowly descending on the ladder of hot young it girls.

Lest we forget, Stone was tapped to play perhaps the greatest female character ever written; Sally Bowles in the 2014 Broadway revival of my favorite musical; Cabaret.

With so many examples of faux white girl feminism that are so obnoxious that they crawl under my skin and make me nauseous; like Taylor Swift and her stupid squad, Lena Dunham and her show that she doesn't even write anymore, I could go on and on but I don't want to. In this climate, I would rather have a friend like Emma who has it together and seems eons smarter both streetwise and intellectually than Jennifer, despite the fact that both are high school drop outs. It just seems that Jennifer peaked a while ago, and now she's the highest paid actress in the business. We as snarky critics can say it's because she sold out, but that's not snark, it's just the truth. Emma continues to pick interesting and unique projects and can go from Spiderman to Birdman to La La Land seamlessly. Btdubs her chemistry with Gosling is too ridiculous. I'm sure he can have chemistry with a gardening tool, but still. I've switched teams, and I'm excited to see what Emma does next. Keep in mind, she started out in the Frat Pack opus Superbad as Jonah Hill's love interest. Let me say that again: Jonah Hill's love interest.

Her performance in Birdman was pretty untouchable. She didn't have that many quips or clap trap monologues, but her down-to-the-bone performance as a lost and confused former junkie daughter of a washed up has-been actor almost stole the show. Almost, because stealing from Michael Keaton is pretty damn hard. A for effort. 

I'm not even going to touch on Margot Robbie who is probably the best and smartest actress under 30 right now, and though it would be fun to throw a monkey wrench into this agenda, I like pinning two actresses that are around the same age and with the same influence on the zeitgeist against each other for shits and giggles. It makes me feel better about myself. And in a time when we desperately need some escapism, Emma delivers. Also, Jen stop scratching your ass on sacred rocks, it's not funny and it's flat out disrespectful, crude, and ridiculous. We're the fairer sex for a reason. Enjoy your free drinks.

Below some SNL clips and La La Land Trailer:

Behind Bars with Pipes

The girls of Litchfield Correctional Facility return for some serious Season 2 hijinks.

The crazily long-awaited return of Orange is the New Black came to pass last week as we all watched our smartphones to vibrate with a message from Netflix that the whole new season is up and running. Then we collectively sneaked into the bathroom on our cigarette breaks to watch snippets of the first episode on the can. Even IMDB got in on the fun posting an animated ribbon on it’s front page with the entire main cast which is around 16 to 20 girls seemingly reacting to something gross and atrocious.

Crazy Eyes partying it up with Taystee.

            Orange is the New Black has had as much of an impact on the female TV audience as something like True Detective had on the male audience. But unlike the latter it doesn’t take itself so seriously that you have to google books anything on existentialism after every episode. The unbridled ‘I don’t give a fuck’ attitude speaks volumes to girls and out of the incredibly vast and diverse cast of the show, there is someone for everyone to relate to, and at times we find ourselves relating to all of the characters…except for perhaps Pennsatucky (Taryn Manning).  Me? I’m a cross between Chapman (duh), Big Boo, and Poussay…but it depends on the day. A lot of the time I’m feeling the plight of Red the Russian mob ringer (Kate Mulgrew) ('It's fucking funny!'). But there’s an inmate for every mood. And that’s what makes the show so endearing. The troubles of the characters which on the surface might seem alien to us because most of us have never done time, are at the same time universal, because we’ve all struggled and done things we shouldn’t have, and now are striving to find redemption.

A big part of the reason I couldn't wait for this season is to see how it works out with Daya and Bennett; hottest prison guard this side of scripted TV.

            So when you think about it, the show’s very simple in that respect, and it’s entertaining; the two main cornerstones of TV. I don’t need to peel back all the layers of Rustin’s inner demons on True Detective like I’m a philosophy post-doc. If a show can make you laugh hysterically and cry like no one’s watching within the same hour, that’s a good show. And finally there’s something on TV that treats women more than just the whore the mother or the wife…am I right Mad Men? I mean seriously, it’s the 21^st century and we’re still disenfranchised playing second fiddle to middle-aged white men with problems. I know that TV is inherently frightened about shows that cater to and center around women, especially one with a cast of ONLY women (with the exception of Jason Biggs…and Pornstache), but that’s folly because apparently, as Orange has proved there’s a huge niche in the market for that. I mean, we DO make up half of the country’s populace, and you can’t play us off with Peggy Olsen anymore.

One endearing lesson this show teaches us that whether weathering a storm or living large, in prison or in St. Tropez, ya gotta have friends.

But aside from all the politics, what’s great about the show are the characters and the actors who play them. Aside from resurrecting the careers of long forgotten actors such as Natasha Lyonne, Taryn Manning, and Laura Prepon, the show is basically a who’s who of newbies and hot young upper-and-comers. With the resurgence of female protagonist shows like Orange, Scandal, and even Bates Motel, we might find redemption yet like we had in the 90’s when our estrogen fueled material also had a presence (remember Allie McBeal or My So Called Life)? This show explicitly states; we might be in prison but we’re not the bad guys, and we will persevere. And that’s an admirable notion. So turn off your phone, plug into Netflix, and join everyone else in this gargantuan estrogen fest. Happy watching!

Season 2 promo below:

Finally, Here's My Best/Worst Dressed at The Golden Globes

Are you happy? Let's do this quickly shall we? For the most part it's not that people had on atrocities, it's that most was just blah, but that's because every one is saving their good dresses for the Oscars. And hopefully firing their stylists. Before we go on, there's a designer that made this list a few times. And I just want to tell him openly; Dear Prabal Gurung, your designs are hideous. I hope never to see your gowns on the red carpet again and they run you out of town. Let's start with Worst as always. 

Zoe Saldana in Prabal Gurung. This looks like the inside of a child with severe ADD's mind. It's a full on disaster. It reminds me of projects we had in home-ec when the teacher would give us like three pieces of fabric and tell us to 'create something' with just some manicuring scissors and some chicken wire in less than 5 minutes. 

Sanda Bullock in Prabal Gurung. Oh Sandy, Sandy. First of all, plunging necklines, you're too old for that sorry. Your shoes from 1996 are awful and this color blocking looks like this dress got lost between the leather bar and the prom. 

Paula Patton in Stephane Rolland (who?). This dress is the very definition of her husband's mind-blowingly annoying hit single 'Blurred Lines', and maybe she was going for the opposite of what the models in that video wear and cover up as much as possible and layer bitch, layer. She could easily be a Hunger Games extra. 

Jennifer Lawrence in Dior. The dress that launched a thousand meme's. Dear Jen, you are young and beautiful, curvy and pixie-like you could pretty much pull off anything, and you did so well with Dior last year at the Globes, remember that orange number? Freaking awesome. Stop trying to experiment. This includes experiments with your hair. 

Lizzy Kaplan in Emilio Pucci. What the fuck is this? The end. 

Lena Dunham in Zac Posen. I hate to hit below the belt here, but we all had to look at this so here goes...I had no idea Zac Posen made dresses in a size 16. 

Julie Bowen in Carolina Herrera. She looks like Mrs. Southern Kackalaky, 2014. 

Aubrey Plaza in Oscar de la Renta. Lavender and Fuchsia? Somewhere in West Hollywood a gay couple are missing their drapes.  

And now on to the best...or the most tolerable. 

Emma Thompson. I have no idea who she's wearing but everyone knows she's got Louboutin's on her feet when she threw them off on the stage. You rule lady. 

Julia Roberts in Dolce and Gabbana. Usually this would actually make it on my Worst Dressed list. She looks like a secretary from the early 60's, like she walked out of an episode of Mad Men. But you know what? Jules pulls this off. She's getting older and it's time to be a bit more modest, very smart and chic choice. 

Kerry Washington in Balenciaga. One of my favorite designers, one of my favorite shows, this is how you rock a baby bump on the red carpet. She's so damn elegant and looks better at 7 months pregnant than a head on a stick sewn into a size double-zero Alexander McQueen. 

Lupita N'Yongo in Ralph Lauren. She looks absolutely stunning in this interesting Tom Ford-Gwenyth Paltrow-from the Oscars-two years ago type dress. Very elegant, sexy, and sophisticated. 

Tina Fey in Carolina Herrera. The oxblood thing is a beautiful trend, and hopefully we'll see more of it at the Oscars. And for a brunette to pull it off so brilliantly and bring in some vintage looking bedazzling. It really worked for a fashion risk. 

Naomi Watts in Tom Ford. Tom Ford has never had a red carpet faux-pas, and there's no one better to carry a beautiful haute-couture gown like Naomi Watts. Blondes look great in silver. Are you listening J-Law? 

See not that many. It was kind of a sad year for fashion at the Golden Globes, dear Oscars please redeem us. And for the love of god put something bearable on Jennifer Lawrence so we don't have to pay attention to that smug smile plastered all over the screen. 

From 'Girls' to Frances Ha, NY Girls Just Can't Seem to Grow Up.

Smoking and drinking on the fire escape. Definitely a part of my EARLY 20's, not my LATE 20's. Go on the damn balcony. You know what Virginia Woolf book this reminds ME of? None of them!

Finally watched Baumbach's minimalist mumblecore women-constantly-on-their-period flick Frances Ha (2013) and I have no idea how it's appealing at all. Greta Gerwig, although a great actress is reduced to playing a woman whom if I was in college with I would make fun of every day just for not having her shit together. Which might have been cute at like 22 but she's like what 28 in this film?

They still use words like 'd-bags' 'omg I love you', and smoke on the fire escape without the fear of it buckling underneath them and falling to their deaths. It's like seriously enough. Move in with your ugly hipster boyfriend who doesn't shave, make a five year plan, and get a mother-effing job. We're in a recession and don't have time for your menstrual bullshit.

Baumbach can write great characters, no one is questioning that. But can he write relevant ones. The only time that, in my not-so-humble opinion, in which he has done that was in The Squid and the Whale (2005) because he wrote about his own family and the struggles didn't seem pretentious and pointless, they seemed existential and sincere.

Even with a desk job, Hannah can't help from pouting.

Back in the 90's we had middle-aged white man anger and frustration, I guess today's trend is 'twenty-something New York hipster chick in limbo'. That's the giant cash cow. Lena Dunham's pile of Golden Globes is getting larger and larger and likely to continue growing after this Sunday. And perhaps I'm biased but ever since I moved to Los Angeles, I get seriously tired of people in New York who do nothing but to complain about living in New York...here's an idea, fucking move! 'I can't afford Tribeca/NoHo/Morningside Heights' then maybe find some job that pays more than 10$ an hour.
Oh and your ugly, good-for-nothing slacker, jobless boyfriend is giving you a hard time? Break up with him and join eHarmony like the rest of us, or go hang out at a bar near Wallstreet. It's time to stop dreaming and start doing. My life is hard too and don't get me wrong, I'm unhappy. But when I try to complain to my mother she tells me to do two things; 'shut up, and grow up'. (But that could be just her Soviet upbringing talking). Also, the most fascinating thing about a man should not be whether or not he smokes indoors kay?? 

After a while of Frances Ha (2013) I felt like one of those poor souls at that dinner party that she goes to that have to politely nod and smile as she talks nonsense endlessly and ends it with 'blah..I sound stoned, but I'm not stoned'. It's like thank god she's leaving. 

Dear Frances and Hannah, try living my life for one minute. Yeah, I might complain about it with a box of Chardonnay on a Friday night,  I mean who knows what I say then? But I'm not going to film it and pitch it to HBO...or to Baumbach for that matter (always had my heart set on Gus Van Sant myself). :P Anyway, seriously, enough. My ears are bleeding. Is this really what Gloria Steinem and the rest fought for and burned their bras for? For privileged white girls to whine about nothing for hours? Just remember what Tina Fey says to Noelle Welles portraying Hannah Horvath in the 'SNL' parody of 'Girls'...'You're 24? What the fuck is wrong with you?'.

Best and Worst Dressed at the Emmy's (The Definitive List)

Not to blow my own horn or anything, but I do know quite a bit about fashion, so please trust that I know what I'm talking about here and stop listening to Kelly Osbourne. There were some serious winners and losers, and for me, there are a lot of things people got wrong. Here are my two cents. And as always, please take them as the holy gospel. 

Well start with the BEST: 

Aubrey Plaza in Marios Schwab. Yes, this is on my BEST DRESSED list, in fact it tops it. For all you haters out there, not only is Aubrey a quirky girl, but this dress is unique and mature and a huge fashion risk. I admire a risk taker, though the accessories are weird I'll give you that. It reminds me of that black and lace Alexander McQueen number Gwyneth Paltrow wore to the Oscars in 2000. Only difference is she couldn't even pull off a McQueen with the perfect body she has, but Aubrey with this pseudo-goth look is showing a grown up side of her querk. Bravo lady, I stand with you.

Sarah Hyland in Carolina Herrera. Talk about all grown up. Ironically Carolina Herrera is usually the go-to designer for Hyand's co-star on Modern Family (Sofia Vergara) but with the dark lipstick and the black lace, she's channeling a somewhat Deco darker side of the designer that Sophia would never dare to venture. Good job girlfriend.

Kerry Washington in Marchesa. Marchesa looks wonderful on everybody. She's kind of like the safety net of fashion on the red carpet. I love Scandal and I love Kerry Washington on it. I mean it's like clothes were basically sewn unto her. She usually looks fabulous in anything, and though a bit too floral, she pulls this one off. She looks radiant.

Linda Cardellini in Donna Karan. It's hard to forget Sarah Marshall in this. This fucia Donna Karan is above and beyond and yet it's subtle. It reminds me of that crazy Marchesa gown that Vera Farmiga wore to the Oscars when Up in the Air (2009) was nominated but a much more grown up, aesthetically complex and pleasing to the eye.

Taylor Schilling in Thakoon. I've personally never heard of this designer but the empire waste, high front slit, and simplicity of the gown all work very well accented by minimalist gold jewelery. I'll say it again, blondes look great in white. What more is there?

Kaley Cuoco in Vera Wang. Vera Wang usually does not do such complex numbers nor have I ever seen her do boning for a corset but this beet red gown is just so classy without being burlesque or desperate for attention, I have to give her major props. I love that she decided to minimalize the accessories as well because the dress stands perfectly on its own.

Sofia Vergara in Vera Wang. I tire of red dresses that match the red carpet and am way tired of mermaid dresses as well, not to mention I don't particularly like Sofia Vergara, but she ends up on my best dressed lists all the time...like all of them. You know why? Because she knows what looks good on her, has a body that won't quit, and makes it work bitches.

Zooey Deschanel in J. Mendel. Yay! J. Mendel made it to the red carpet! Yay! Zooey isn't wearing poofy tutu dresses anymore! Yay! She looks mature and amazing in a silvery light blue silk gown! Yay! She looks like the grown up woman that she is! Yay! The world is a better place.

Now on to the fun stuff...it's time for the hideous monstrosities that made my eyes water and my belly ache with disappointment and nausea. Yes, it's time for the WORST. 

Lena Dunham in Prada. Did you really think I would ignore this or not start there. What the fuck is this thing? It looks like a giant version of something in Zooey's closet from 5 years ago. Prada made this? Are you serious? And then they put it on slouchy Lena Dunham? Who's running the ship over there because it's about to hit some serious rocks. It looks like a table-cloth from the 50's. It's unflattering. It's beyond poorly tailored. It hurts me to even keep going on about it. So I'm stopping.

Heidi Klum in Versace. Heidi, you're a professional model, you're the executive producer of Project Runway. What the fuck are you thinking? You look like a wardrobe reject from Luc Besson's The Fifth Element (1997), This metallic, sequined, blood-red, fake-collared gown looks like it belongs in one of the Underworld sequels.

Amanda Peet in Erdem. Oh dear god what happened here? Did two dress cousins have the worst sex ever and give birth to a retarded dress that Amanda Peet totally thought was chic under the influence of ambien and vodka. There's no logic to this dress, so why try to find logic in her reason for Amanda giving herself the worst make-under I've ever seen, on purpose!

Zosia Mamet in Honor. This could be the worst thing I've ever laid eyes on. Grey and pink? Seriously? And what's with the leather mini-bra just taped on to the middle? This dress is too much of a mess for me to even know where to begin. It's a crime against humanity. But then again, so is her show.

Julianne Hough in Jenny Packham. A see-through dress that makes you look like you're wearing your granny panties on laundry day coupled with an off-the-shoulder look? Epic fail.

Claire Danes in Armani. This might be the best of the worst. It's just the wrong dress. On someone as fair-skinned as her, it looks ridiculous, also it looks bulky and it's way too low cut. I'm not to excited about the trimming either. Bad choice, but not the worst choice.

Anna Faris in Monique Lhuillier. Usually one of my favorite designers, but this dress has gone ape shit. It's far too prom night, and the mustard yellow color looks like something that glows under a black light. Coupled with retro Bettie Page bangs and a far too high of a slit, this was a disaster. My eyes hurt.

Jessica Paré in Oscar de la Renta. Oscar de la Renta is an artist among designers. He is a true innovator but this Tiffany's blue number is just not doing it for me. The shoes are all wrong, the top makes her look like she has no chest to speak of, and the front of the dress should not be higher than the back. Me no likey.

Betsey Brandt in what might have been the worst look of the night. I have no idea who designed this dress, quite frankly I'm convinced she picked it up at a Ross on the way to the awards because it is beyond hideous. The color washes her out, it's far from being age appropriate and makes her look like a stepford wife. Also, what the hell is up with the bouffant hairdo? It's just a mess all the way around.

Lena Headley in Alessandra Rich. This bitch keeps making my Worst dressed list all the time, keep at it girl, you're not getting any better. And she's an intelligent, refined woman, what is she thinking every time her stylist gives her advice? A high-slit see-through dress with nothing but what looks like black spanx to cover up your nether-regions? And white shoes? You look like you're dressing up as a dominatrix to a Halloween party thrown by Frat boys.

Also before we end this, I would just like to express my disdain that not one celebrity rocked a Zuhair Murad this season. He's the hottest designer on the planet right now, and being dressed by him is an honor. I can't believe it's been since J-Lo at last years Oscars that we've seen him on the red carpet. No fair.

Which Show Character will Pete Campbell Have Sex With Next?

Since hooking up with everyone's favorite nicey-nice Gilmore Girl Alexis Bledel, it begs the question, who's next on the roster of folks Pete cheats on Trudy (Alison Brie) with...here's what I imagined.

I would lead in with field mouse Karen Cartwright (Katherine McPhee) on Smash even though they are decades apart, they both live in New York, and she's very field mousy and impressionable, I think he could sweet talk her into it, convincing her she can be in Sterling Cooper Draper Pryce's new commercial for Heinz beans.

He'd definitely do the nasty with Chloe (Krysten Ritter) of Don't Trust the B---- in Apt 23 but she'd forget about him the second he left her apartment in the village. And the Beeks would probably like 'um...wtf?'

Hannah Horvath (Lena Dunham) from Girls seems like a good fit that could actually lead to something but she's a little chubby for Pete's taste, but then again, he is getting bald so it evens out.But I'm not sure he'd venture that far into Brooklyn.

I would love for Pete to experiment with Jesse Pinkman (Aaron Paul) from Breaking Bad if he ever takes a trip out to Arizona. How hot would that be? The answer is 'very'.

And you know he'd be all up in Serena Van Der Woodsen (Blake Lively) from Gossip Girl but she would rebuff him like the bitch that he is.

But the perfect match has to be Ellen Parsons (Rose Byrne) of Damages, she's upper west side, high-end take-no-shit lawyer that would teach him a thing or twelve. And she thinks like him (i.e. how to get ahead no matter what) but she's a heart-breaker. He'd probably end up using that gun he bought randomly and holds every once in a while on that show. Did you guys forget about that? Pete Campbell has a gun.

Why 'Don't Trust the B----- in Apt 23' is 100 Times Better Than 'Girls'

Ok here's why. 

Ritter and the Beeks get into all kinds of improbable shenanigans just being themselves.

I can compare the two because both are set in New York, and the main characters of each respective show are ideally the same. Both are young professionals, put down by crippling financial circumstances that force them into situations that make them uncomfortable.

But as much as I enjoy quirky slightly chubby girls bitch and moan about their white-people-problems, after a while, it gets rather old, and by a while, I mean one episode. The rule is if after three episodes, the show is tanking, then it's tanked honey. On the other hand we have a show like Don't Trust the B---- in Apt 23 which after a pilot episode which is usually problematic is already blowing me away.

We've seen this kind of sociopathic anti-heroine character a million times, literally. But Krysten Ritter comes at it with such a feisty-ness and unapologetic fervor that she's akin to a character like Brian Kinney (Gale Harold) on the much understated landmark program Queer as Folk (2000-2005), the hedonistic, opportunistic, vile, yet magnetic main character who is reviled and desired all at once. Of course Chloe (Krysten Ritter) is not the main character, she's the lovable antagonist, but for all of her outlandishness she still seems somewhat tangible and believable.

'OMG do you want to have ironic, misguided, and passive-aggresive conversations about how tough our lives are because none of us have jobs but all along we knew that this day would eventually come where we'd have to actually worry about it?'

 She's learned to use her feminine wiles to survive in an unforgiving place like Manhattan rather than bitching and moaning about it the way that Lena Dunham's character does in her adorable quirky way in Girls. But what Jeffrey Sconce refers to as 'the market in quirk' is getting out of hand in syndicated TV shows, and it's not just the Lena Dunham character with whom we are supposed to identify with that the networks are ramming right up our asses, but are any of her friends interesting? I mean seriously. None of them barely have a personality to speak of. They just wander through life with their individual quirks shitting a nugget of wisdom into the plot every once in a while. They remind me of those really banal roommates I had through college that made the worst part of my day after 4 back to back classes and a work shift until 11:30pm walking past them while they were cooking dinner in the common room together, talking forever about nothing. 

And the writing is just better in Don't Trust the B----... it's wittier, it's of course extravagant and skewed, but it's fun and it's genuinely hilarious, not that awkward kind of hilarious that you get with Girls where you're just waiting for the running joke to mercifully end but it never does. 

'Oh I just love goldfish, you wanna have sex with me?'

Honestly, the best and filthiest part of Don't Trust the B---- in Apt 23 is the Beeks. For those of you not playing the home game, I'm talking of course about Ke$ha video thespian and Katie Holmes' 90's paramour with the five-finger forehead James Van Der Beek who plays basically himself. He's Chloe's best friend and spends his time trying to prove himself a serious actor all the while nailing squeaky undergrads or as he likes to call them 'those fucking NYU students' (represent!) who want nothing more than for him to sing 'I Don't Wanna Wait' by Paula Cole and put on the flannel. He's just as much of a slut as Chloe and she refers to him as her straight gay best friend. Now, that's something that's relevant in today's youth culture, take notes Girls. 

So basically what I'm saying is, though both shows are skewered towards identifying with a lawless, fragile, and frustrated culture of New York's youth today who are just trying to get by damn it, and not have to live on old bagels for the rest of their 20's, Don't Trust the B---- in Apt 23 seems to have it down much better than Girls...so far that is. 

Promo below: