A Tribute To A Real Genius

Every once in a while, every other generation or so, we get a gift from the acting gods to grace the silver screen with their incredible and versatile talent. And more often than not, those wonders get taken from us far too quickly. In the past decade we've had more losses than we know what to do with, and the landscape of film has become lacking no matter how many surprisingly good performances Jennifer Lawrence turns out. 

The most obvious that comes to mind is last year's loss of comedy icon Robin Williams. It hurt particularly because he dedicated his life to making people laugh and in this world there is no more a noble profession, with the exception of Doctors Without Borders. But I'm speaking about entertainment here. 

For me personally, a day I will never forget was January 22nd, 2008. My mom called me around 8pm New York time to tell me that Heath Ledger was found dead in his SoHo penthouse. I didn't have a TV, so I hadn't heard, but made it over there in time just to watch the camera crews surrounding his building pack up for the night. It didn't take me long to realize the gravity of that loss. Heath Ledger was very much on his way to being our generation's Marlon Brando, and to die so tragically without even peaking at the young age of 28, without all of us seeing what more he could have given us, fresh off of his performance in Brokeback Mountain, none of us in the film community were ever the same again. 

Arguably his best performance in the rather flawed epic The Master working with frequent collaborator, P.T. Anderson as egomaniacal cult leader Lancaster Dodd.

Just when we had begun the healing process, we had another enormous blow; last year in February when one of the most talented people to ever gift the acting community with his presence lost his life; Philip Seymour Hoffman. Yesterday was his birthday, and instead of dwell on the fact that we will never have another brilliant Hoffman performance, I'd like to remember some of the best that he left us with. Unlike Ledger, Hoffman left behind an indelible legacy of stellar performances that will always be iconic and always be studied, analyzed, and used as basis and inspiration for others. As a true actor's actor, Hoffman had such a profound understanding of his craft and an even bigger respect for it. In every role he played, he brought to it heart, sincerity, and immeasurable depth. There will never be another Hoffman, but at least we have his legacy that generations upon generations of actors will look to when building themselves as masters of their craft. 

Hoffman so brilliantly embodied Truman Capote that his pastiche would be just as good to show someone if you were trying to tell them about who Capote was. It wasn't an interpretation, and it wasn't an impression. It was bringing someone back to life. 

I would go out on a limb and say that there is not a bad performance in his repertoire. From flimsy films like Along Came Polly to bravado like The Master, Hoffman never missed a beat. I personally will always remember his performance as Rusty, the down on her luck drag queen in the teeny Joel Schumacher film Flawless, opposite Robert DeNiro, as well as the awkward boom operator for a porn producer in Boogie Nights, as well as of course, his second to none almost carbon copy of Truman Capote in Capote, for which he won a well-deserved Oscar. Then there was Lester Bangs in Almost Famous, and perhaps my personal favorite; the blocked introverted novelist-turned-screenwriter in State and Main. No matter how small the role, or how small the film, Hoffman took it upon himself to elevate his role in the project and basically carried a lot of the films towards their successes. I don't know what the scope of cinema would be today without him, I would imagine very different. This was a man who could literally do anything, and was such a absolute master of his craft that he raised the bar for everyone else. So on his birthday (one day late, forgive me) I salute you sir. There will never be another, and you will always be missed. Thank you for sharing your gift, and even from a snarky sarcastic cynical person like me, I truly mean it. 

Below, some of the performances mentioned. All of which, unforgettable. 

Enough with the Open Letters! French Films are Exploitive. We Get It.

Lea Seydoux in Blue is the Warmest Color (2013)

So if you religiously check Indiewire.com every morning like I do, you'll see that the director of the sleeper hit Blue is the Warmest Color (2013), Abdellatif Kechiche has penned an open letter to its star, France's new 'it' girl Lea Seydoux, who called the filming of said film an experience that was both trapping and disrespectful in terms of dealing with its racy sex scenes. Guess what folks, without racy sex scenes there would be no French cinema to speak of let's just be honest here. Especially now-a-days with directors like Christophe Honore and Catherine Brellait leading the charge of how-much-gratuitious-nudity can we cram into a 2 hour film and the answer is...a lot. But you know what? With such content comes responsibility, and I'm going to side with Seydoux here. To be fully nude surrounded by grips, electricians, script supervisors and who else is no fun, and to have to do it take after take, can be exhausting, not like I would know, but I'm sure at this point shooting porn is a more wholesome experience than going full on French.

Kechiche basically blamed her for trying to destroy the very same film she helped make into a success and also not to mention helped to win the Palme D'Or. He writes, "Miss Seydoux, who after having repeatedly thanking me publicly and privately and having wept in my arms at Cannes for allowing her to take on this noble role … has, against all odds and all personal coherence, radically changed her attitude towards me." 

In his letter Kechiche calls Seydoux 'spoiled and opportunistic' um, exaggerate much?

So why don't we just calm the fuck down and take a look at the mistakes we might have made as directors. Actors are by definition fragile individuals who look to directors not only for guidance but for comfort, and not exploitation, unless of course you like that sort of thing. And now, I'm going to name a perfect example of someone who refuses to follow these guidelines and has the balls to blame his actors for not 'being comfortable'. 

20 year old Maria Schneider and Marlon Brando in Last Tango in Paris (1972)

One, Bernardo Bertolucci has been accused of this very thing on several occasions. The first and most infamous case I can remember is when Maria Schneider, Marlon Brando's co-star in the then X-Rated Last Tango In Paris (1972) famously said that in the scene where Brando's character sodomizes her with butter lubricant (there's honestly no wholesome way for me to describe this folks, sorry) that she felt that not only was she being raped by Brando, but by Bertolucci himself who just let it happen without asking her not even once if she was comfortable, if she wanted to stop and catch her breath, if it was all too much, you know, everything we as girls would like to be asked in scenarios like that...even if it's simulated. It's just polite.

This misogynistic behavior on Bertolucci's part continued up until The Dreamers was released in 2004 and sex-pot Eva Green basically said the exact same things. It's a film I've seen on a few occasions and I can tell you that yeah, the sex is pretty gratuitous, and no one had to work harder at it (no pun intended) than Eva Green, she had the most nude scenes, the most sex scenes, the most bodily fluid involving scenes as gross as that sounds, and she said that sometimes even though she's a seasoned professional and full fledged Frenchie, it was hard, and she felt that she received no guidance or comfort from her director who basically sat behind the camera and watched like some perv with a box of donuts and a pair of night-vision goggles. 

Eva Green in one of her most erotic scenes in The Dreamers (2004)

 I believe that Bertolucci is someone who makes gratuitously sexual films for his own personal pleasure, kind of like the James Spader character in Sex, Lies and Videotape (1989) so he can whack off to them later, he just happens to be really good at it and call it art, and let's face it a lot of French directors seems to go down that road.

So in conclusion; Kechiche - You should be thankful that Lea Seydoux who is huge not only in France but currently in America even participated in that film, and without her quite honestly I don't think the Palme D'or was within your reach. Enough with the open letters, there's this cool devise called the telephone, pick it up after a bottle of Bordeaux and go nuts. But also realize you are not blameless here brother. Here's a link to his open letter: 'Blue is the Warmest Color' Filmmaker Pens Enraged Open Letter; Slams 'Spoiled,' 'Opportunistic' Star Lea Seydoux

Trailers below: 

Best On-Screen Smooching

I'm not going to lie. I just ate my weight in McDonalds, because I'm secretly white trash and have zero self respect, so I am bed-ridden at the moment with nothing to do but watch TV Guide Channel's Best Cinema Kisses, because all of the animal fat is coursing through my veins like poison and I'm too lethargic to even pick up the remote and change the channel. I actually happen to agree somewhat with this list (OMFG I actually agreed with something) but of course not completely. They are missing some serious heavy hitters in the tonsil hockey celluloid world and I'm going to go ahead and make my own list before the fast food makes it's way to my skull and renders me brain dead. 

Ok let's just get this one out of the way. The most famous kiss in cinema ever, of all time, bar-none, no arguments. Deborah Kerr and Burt Lancaster in From Here to Eternity (1954).

Liza Minelli, Michael York, and Helmut Greim in Cabaret (1972). This prelude to the actual kiss goes on for a good 4 minutes, it's one of the most erotic things I've ever seen.

Yeah, ok. Atonement (2006). But I give the credit to James McAvoy. Keira seems completely devoid of any kind of passion, probably because she's not human.

Notorious (1946). This is definitely my personal favorite on the list. The story goes that back during the Haze code, kissing couldn't last longer than about 4 seconds, so Hitchcock had the kissing last about 2 minutes with intervals where Cary Grant and Ingrid Bergman pull away for air every 4 seconds. Thereby in full compliance with the censors, but actually totally not.

Ewan McGregor and Jonathan Rhys Meyers in Velvet Goldmine (1998). Probably the hottest thing I had seen on film at that point, both men seriously know how to kiss. And the embellished glam rock outfits only make it better.

Match Point (2004). Second time Jonathan Rhys Meyers is on the list, but what can I say, the dude is passionate as fuck. No pun intended. Ok, maybe a little intended. This kiss scene way trumps The Notebook in the kissing-in-the-rain department.

Probably the second most famous kiss in cinema history, Clark Gable and Vivien Leigh in the iconic burning of Atlanta scene in Gone with the Wind (1939) The story goes that Vivien Leigh actually hated all of those repetitive takes of having to kiss Gable over and over again because he had bad breath, but then again on set, she was a chronic chain-smoker, so I can't imagine it was too pleasant for him either.

The closest thing to S&M I had experienced when I first saw it, Marlon Brando tries to get Eva Marie Saint to admit that she's in love with him in On the Waterfront (1954), when she refuses he grabs her, throws her up against the wall and passionately has at it, she at first tries to fight him off and then succumbs, what girl wouldn't?

And let's end on a low note. As you know, I'm a fervent fan of the first Twilight (2008), and in this scene Kristen Stewart wakes up to Robert Pattinson watching her sleep at the foot of the bed, and apparently he does that all the time, now if that was me, that guy would be on the floor in a headlock with the police on the way, but she tells him she wants him to try 'controlling himself' and kiss her without basically eating her, it's really hot for about two seconds before he loses control and flies to the other side of the room.

And here are some clips, in case you haven't seen any of these and need proof. Now go make out with someone. 

Since It's My Birthday Tomorrow, I Present To You - Hot Stars Eating Cake

Steve McQueen eating badass cake. Shirtless.

Liz and Dick split birthday cake, in all fairness, Dick could have told her to start laying off the cake at this point. Probably did.

Debbie Reynolds very much posing with cake rather than eating it.

Vivien Leigh and Robert Taylor having British cake.

Marlon Brando having a little too much fun with cake. Also, Karl Malden being a total perv.

Paul Newman having an ice cream sandwich. He's too cool for cake.

Cary Grant and Jean Arthur in cake publicity still.

Marilyn Monroe eating cake emphatically to the delight of fat soldiers.

Joan Crawford in ridiculous outfit about to eat kitchy cake.