The Definitive Ranking of Every FriendsGiving on FRIENDS

SEASON #1: TOW Where Underdog Gets Away (9th Place)

After quite the adventure, the 6 finally sit down to the first of their many non-traditional thanksgivings.

Monica plans her first Thanksgiving in the city and it’s the first time she’s cooking for everyone, but everyone has different requests. While watching the parade, one of the floats tears off and the crew go out into the street to see it firsthand, unfortunately when they get back, they realize they’ve left the door to Monica’s apartment locked, and the oven is still on…dun dun dun. In the end the group sit down to Chandler's batch of food; grilled cheese sandwiches and Funions. 

Choice Quote: 
Ross: 'Wow you guys sure have a lot of books about being a lesbian'
Susan: 'Well you have to take a course, otherwise they don't let you do it' 

SEASON #2: TOW with the List (1st place)

'It's always been you, Rach'

 After the climactic kiss between Ross and Rachel, the guys decide to make a list of pro's and con's for both Rachel and Ross' current girlfriend Julie, while Monica tries out bizarre Thanksgiving recipes with something called 'mockolate' a synthetic chocolate substitute. Won't that end well. Alas, Rachel finds the list, and refuses to forgive Ross for it. 'Imagine the worst things that you think about yourself, and the one person whom you trust the most in the world not only thinks them too but actually uses them as an excuse not to be with me' ...Girl's got a point.

Choice Quote: Ross: 'Can't we just use a pen?' Chandler: 'No, Amish boy.'

SEASON #3: TOW with the Football (2nd Place)

'Dad said no more football and he was sick of our fighting so he took the trophy...threw it in the lake'

While prepping for Thanksgiving dinner and watching the game, the gang is inspired to have their own. Only one problem, Monica and Ross are no longer allowed to play because of how violently competitive they are, but they decide to compete anyway for a troll nailed to a two-by-four called the ‘Geller Cup’ while Joey and Chandler try to show off for a Scandinavian neighbor. 

Choice Quote: Monica: 'Let go of me I'm a tiny little woman!'

SEASON #4: TOW with Chandler in a Box (10th Place)

'He's doin' something thinking'

Chandler finally tells Joey that he kissed his girlfriend so in retribution he agrees to be in a wooden box that Monica has around the apartment harkening back to when Joey was stuck in the entertainment unit while his and Chandler’s apartment was being robbed. Once Kathy (the girlfriend) comes over to break up with Chandler, Joey has a change of heart and lets Chandler out to go and ‘get her’. Monica dates Richard's son and everyone is grossed out by it.

Choice quote: Monica: 'Fine, judge all you want, but: married a lesbian, left a man at the alter, married a gay ice dancer, threw a girl's wooden leg in a fire, live in a box!'

SEASON #5: TOW with all the Thanksgivings (3rd Place)

If you want to get a guy to admit he's in love with you, wear a turkey on your head. Thanks, Monica. 

As we well know Chandler has an aversion to Thanksgiving since he was 10 and his parents told him they were splitting up. So everyone delves back into old Thanksgiving memories. Phoebe recounts a past life experience during the Civil War, while the rest remember a high school one when Ross brought Chandler his then college roommate to their place and he met ‘fat’ Monica for the first time. The next Thanksgiving when Monica loses all that extra weight Rachel convinces Monica to take revenge on Chandler after he called her fat the previous year, but she accidentally ends up cutting his toe off. Somehow or another it leads to present-day Monica wearing a turkey on her head to apologize and it works!

Choice Quote: Chandler: That's why I have 9 toes? Because I called you fat?'

SEASON #6: TOW Where Ross Got High (4th Place)

'Mom, dad? Ross smoked pot in college.'

Ross and Monica’s parents join them for their Thanksgiving in the city and there are a few secrets they are about to learn. One  that Monica and Chandler are dating, and two – the reason that they don’t like Chandler is because they thought he was a stoner in college, when it was actually Ross. This leads to a wealth of secrets being revealed; ‘Hurricane Gloria didn’t break the porch swing, Monica did!’. In the meantime, Monica finally lets Rachel cook something, but when making the recipe she doesn’t notice that the pages are stuck together and ends up cooking the infamous English trifle dessert with a layer of minced meat, peas and onions.

Choice Quote: Judy Geller: 'That's a lot of information to get in 30 seconds...'

SEASON #7: TOW Where Chandler Doesn’t Like Dogs (7th Place)

Lesson #187: Don't tell a guy you like him while people are stealing his car'

Phoebe’s been harboring a dog in her room now that she lives in Monica’s apartment and when everyone gathers for dinner the truth comes out. Chandler insists the dog must go because he’s allergic but then has to admit that he hates dogs to everyone’s dismay. Meanwhile, Rachel tries to gauge if her new smoking hot assistant, Tag is interested in her, and Ross tries to name all 50 States which is harder than it sounds. ('Maybe it's so hard because there AREN'T 50 states!?') As uneventful of a plot that it seems it’s actually pretty hilarious. 

Choice Quote:

Joey: 'If he doesn't like you, this is all just a moo point.

Rachel: 'A moo point?' 

Joey: 'Yeah it's like a cow's opinion...it just doesn't matter.'

SEASON #8: TOW with the Rumor (5th Place)

'I said it was typical. Rachel Green, queen Rachel, does whatever she wants in her own little Rachel land!'

Brad Pitt (Monica's 'thin friend' in high school) gets invited for Thanksgiving in which he admits that he used to hate Rachel (oh the irony) back in high school because she was popular and he was fat, ergo she made his life hell. He later goes on to say that they formed the ‘I hate Rachel Green club’ with none other than Ross. Uh oh.

Choice Quote: Ross: 'No need to point, she knows who Ross is' 

SEASON #9:TOW Rachel’s Other Sister (6th Place)

'If you two die and the crazy plate lady dies, then do I get Emily?'

Rachel's spoiled older sister Amy (Christina Applegate) shows up out of the blue saying that their dad kicked her out so she could spend some time with the one daughter he's actually proud of (Rachel). Meanwhile, Monica is especially obsessed with her new wedding plates and as tensions rise between the two sisters that culminate in a full on cat-fight, a plate is broken, and Monica almost faints. But that's not even as bad as it gets...

Choice Quote: 
Rachel: 'I'd like to invite Amy for Thanksgiving' 
Ross: You know, that's a great idea. It's like when the Pilgrims brought the Indians syphilis' 

SEASON #10: TOW With the Late Thanksgiving (8th Place)

Everyone convinced Monica to make Thanksgiving dinner although she's tired of hosting it, but she loves to compete and sees it as a competition between herself and her past-self (beats me). In the meantime Ross and Joey go to a Knick game knowing that they would be late, and Phoebe and Rachel enter little Emma into a child beauty pageant (does that not sound creepy as shit?) Making everyone late to Monica's Thanksgiving dinner which she was reluctant to do in the first place. Hilarity ensues. 

Choice quote: Ross: 'I got robbed, and they stole my pocket.'

Crazy Love, Crazy Film.

Burt and Linda Pugach today.

 “If I can't have you, no one else will have you, and when I get through with you, no one else will want you." –Burt Pugach

Documentaries usually move me for a good afternoon or couple hours following their end. I’ll bring them up over dinner to get intellectual points, and recommend them to friends, but generally leave them on the back burner lest the topic on which they are based resurfaces and I can say ‘Oh, I know about that, I watched the documentary.’

Considering how blasé people get due to the volume of documentaries with a message, it’s more difficult to find one that truly sticks with you since its inception. I have found such a one. It is a sensational and bizarre tale of an obsessive, fanatical, and hysterical love between two other worldly personalities.

Crazy Love (2007) directed by Dan Klores and Fisher Stevens follows attorney at large and professional eccentric Burt Pugach who was a swarthy, egocentric and somewhat maniacal wealthy man on the Staten Island scene in 1959 when he met 21-year-old pretty girl Linda Riss. He showered her with gifts, courted her persistently, and propositioned her until she relented and they began dating. Their turbulent relationship eventually ended when she found out that he was already divorced and had a child. Unable to deal with Linda leaving him, Burt paid three thugs to knock on Linda’s door one fateful day and throw lye in her face, permanently blinding and scarring her. 

There was almost a Burton-Taylor glamor to their crazy, if it wasn't way of the Richter scale.

You would think that this is where the story ends, but this is actually where it starts to get interesting. This is just the build up to the eventuality that rocks you to your core and completely blows your mind.

You quickly realize that these two people might exist in a realm of the insane and surreal that to them seems perfectly normal and find yourself immersed in a story you would have never consciously believed could have happened.

Pugach was sentenced to 14 years in prison during which time he wrote his only love letters every day professing his undying passion for her. After he was released they were married, and to this day are still together.

The film allows access not only into the lives but into the minds of truly unique individuals whose shocking attitude towards romance and love might just leave you speechless, but will never let you forget.

Tamara Straus of The San Francisco Chronicle wrote about the film saying that it was "among the weirdest explorations of connubial relationships since Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?’.

This film is inspirational on a few levels. It makes us all remember that truth is often stranger than fiction and to find a story that sensationalizes one doesn’t need to go much further than the headlines. It’s ‘sick’ in that strange way that is enthralling and inescapable, and is compelling and memorable at the same time. It’s funny yet heartbreaking, visceral yet surreal, sardonic yet sincere, and on the whole a completely unforgettable film experience.

Watch the Trailer for Crazy Love (2007) here.

Real Housewives of the Most Famous Zip Code in the World Premieres for It's 3rd Season

Still from Bravo's promo for the 3rd season featuring(L to R) Kyle Richards, Brandi Glanville, and Lisa Vanderpump. Beverly Hills is about to get cold, bitches.

Well bitches, it's official. My ultimate favorite show is alive and well at the Bravo network. After the balls-to-the-wall insanity of the last season even execs like Andy Cohen were taking a long hard look in the mirror to make the decision as to bring it back. But nothing, I mean nothing deters the trajectory of Bravo's campiest TV show. Not even death. And quite honestly now that Russell is dead and buried there is a lot less awkwardness to the whole atmosphere.

There are a couple of new additions and subtractions to take note of. America's most hated housewife and now the one who's side we're all on, Camille Grammer is out of the loop, but considering tv spots for the season, looks like she does show up for some good old fashioned passive aggressive catiness.

Filling her silicon-enhanced shoes is Brandi Glanville, officially my favorite Real Housewife and she's only been on as a regular for two episodes. You might remember her from last season, she hobbled on the scene in crutches and completely sans filter. A former model, and newly divorced she had a mouth on her that none of the housewives appreciated at first, but that's because they all love acting pretentious. Anyway, Brandi is by far the hottest, youngest, and tallest of the bunch, and all though somewhat hairbrained, clearly eons more mature than most of them. 

It's revealed that Paul Nassif, Adrienne's now ex-husband calls Brandi a bitch to her face and she is not happy about it. She's already proven that where she goes, the drama goes, but so do the ratings so more power to her.

Another addition is the ice queen herself, or at least someone that looks like the human manifestation of it; Yolanda Foster. She looks like a cross between an extra from a Broadway revival of Cats, Leonna Helmsley, and what every American imagines every Swedish woman looks like. The irony of it being, she's Dutch. Anyway, she seems to be somewhat of a clever kitty with a kind of quiet and insidious nature. But I have a feeling that although rather boring as of now, eventually we'll all be taking her side. She's definitely the 'observer' of the group. 

Thanks to the wonderful world of celebrity-blogging, we are all now well aware of Adrienne's split from husband Paul Nassif, which quite honestly was a shocker when we all first heard about it considering they had what seemed to be the most solid relationship in that she told him what to do and he complied, but it will still be fun in a sick way to find out exactly what happens, the uglier the better.

Aside from that, here's shit that's been going down within the group. Lisa Vanderpump and frenemy Adrienne Maloof no longer speak to each other or live across the road from each other, and in Beverly Hills once you move mansions to get away from someone else you're pretty much dunzo. Taylor is 10 pounds heavier (something she does not stop repeating) sans abusive deranged husband, and using way too much beige lipstick, but still kicking. Kim Richards is sober and very awkwardly so. She's definitely in that stage of sobriety where you hate everything and can't stand to be around anybody so you kick the cat when you come home every night. I don't know about you, but I miss the old crazypants Kim. Kyle is trying to shed her mean girl reputation which she built up beautifully last season and is focusing on her ridiculously perfect family making us all hate her anyway. Everyone is still filthy rich despite the recession, insider trading scandals, houses burning down, and market crashes which is strange, so I'm assuming that each one of the lovely ladies garners about a million an episode from the Bravo bank vault. And though the first episode was somewhat of a snoozefest it looks like this season is going to be a few clowns short of a circus which is nothing short of what we should expect. Tune in! You're in for a bumpy ride. 

Below, season 3 promo.