Thursday, February 2, 2012

Downton Abbey - Aristocratic British Sex - Second Season Orgasm and Third Season Make Up Sex


And we're back. Sybil has of course run off with Branson and been knocked up, going to give birth soon to enough Socialist babies to populate the newly established Soviet Union. Matthew Crawley has had sensation return back into his man parts which told him that marrying Plainy McPlainFace was the wrong decision, and perhaps the reason his Sherman was working again was because of Lady Mary's tender affections, so he finally proposed. And we all almost came.
There are a lot of older blonder men that have been entering and leaving the picture, courting 2 of the 3 Grantham sisters (Sybil was off limits because she was in a constricting and frumpy nurses uniform for most of the season). Lady Mary almost had to wed what I assume is a British composite of William Randolph Hearst, while Lady blonde-one proved she had the strangest taste in men ever by falling for a man three times her age, and one half times the amount of arms she has, oh and his Lordship, the Earl of Grantham (or is it Duke...or Count) Went passionate-crazy for an under-maid (no pun intended) and almost ravished her, but being British, restrained himself and apologized later about it.
One of Lady Mary's suiters, a self mad man that just wants some affection damn it.
The Christmas Special also saw the welcome return of wait for it...Nigel Havers! The most British man in British town whom we first saw chasing down his Olympic competition in Chariots of Fire (1980) where he played *shocker* another Lord. Not to worry all, he's still as British as ever, even though the last time we saw him his name was Leslie...or Linsday...either way. But turns out that he's somewhat of a cad, though I'd still hit that. It seems like every time someone decides to be above everything and follow their heart, marry for love, and all that crap, there's someone else who wants to crush youthful idealism and passionate barn sex into a nub and marry for money and status. Oh British people...Why can't we have both? Perhaps Mary and Matthew will prove to be the confluences of that dream, Sybil is probably too busy dying her babies swaddling clothes red, while Edith is definitely going to be the spinster of the three let's not fool ourselves. I would love for a bohemian forward-thinking painter character to arrive and stage a 'happening' or a reading party. How amazing would it be if the Granthams went to one of Scott and Zelta Fitzgerald's soirees? We'll have to wait for next season, but cheers to you Downton Abbey and for the unrelenting sexual tension you've brought to television. 
Won't you join us for next season?

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