I had to turn off the Animal Planet before I completely lost my shit on how cute newborn golden retriever puppies were and channel surfed until I came upon Current TV who was showing arguably the best Batman film that exists, Tim Burton's second in the franchise, Batman Returns (1992) with Michael Keaton as the titular character, Danny DeVito as the most complex and three-dimentional comic book inspired villain, Penguin, and the unforgettable Michelle Pfeiffer as the sexual icon Selina Kyle/Catwoman.
Now, strictly aesthetically speaking, because the Nolan films are a mainstream reboot of an otherwise cult horror tradition, I was expecting Anne Hathaway's Catwoman get-up to blow apart every incarnation that came before it. I thought it would be S&M on meth, with lots of pad locks, zippers, and leather embellishments. I thought it would be avant-garde and modern, yet harkened to a campy 50's style, exaggerated and fabulous. I wanted to get a headache from the bling, jealous from the cleavage, and finally enjoy Anne Hathaway, but how much was I disappointed when I remembered just how boring it's actually going to be?
It looks like a wet suit you wear to go surfing with a fanny pack around it and cheap costume store kitty ears that set you back 5.99$ on Halloween. What a major fake orgasm, or more appropriately build up to an orgasm that never happens, either way, it's trag-fest.
With all do respect to Julie Newmar, Michelle Pfeiffer was the greatest Catwoman, and with all do respect to Michelle Pfeiffer, her performance would have been nil without that suit. It is an instance where you have to really look the part to embody it, and when they put her in those Bettie Paige stilettos, and pleather body stocking that literally had to be sewn unto her, it was a definitive moment in our pop-culture history.
'Ahhh, there's my favorite pussy' -The Penguin |
This goes without saying that Tim Burton has always been an aesthetic genius, and for a franchise like Batman, aesthetics are of immeasurable importance, you can't just throw someone into a cheap plastic costume and headband ears. Catwoman might be the most outwardly sexual superhero that was ever created by the minds of Marvel comics, and she's written to be deliberately over-the-top in her prowess (no pun intended). With the release date quickly approaching and anticipation brewing all over the place, it looks to me like The Dark Knight Rises (2012) dropped the ball on Catwoman.
I'm speaking strictly visually of course, but I don't think you have to sacrifice spectacle for the sake of character study. Perhaps everyone's playing it safe after the hyper-sexualized overtly ridiculous leather-clad Halle Berry version of Catwoman tanked like a fat kid in the deep end, but I for one am pretty disappointed that they've turned everyone's favorite horny femme fatale into a bad girl even grandma can get on board with.
I'm speaking strictly visually of course, but I don't think you have to sacrifice spectacle for the sake of character study. Perhaps everyone's playing it safe after the hyper-sexualized overtly ridiculous leather-clad Halle Berry version of Catwoman tanked like a fat kid in the deep end, but I for one am pretty disappointed that they've turned everyone's favorite horny femme fatale into a bad girl even grandma can get on board with.
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