Sunday, October 11, 2015

Does He or Doesn't He?

Brooks and Vicki...uhhhhhhhh
I'm so hesitant to even bring this up because this is too much for even the Reality TV universe and it's trashiest campiest incarnation; The Real Housewives. But being the die-hard fan that I am, I'm gonna. My ladies of Beverly Hills aren't currently airing, and Jersey is on hiatus (Fre Tre!) look it up. So there's nothing left but the OC. The OG of the Real Housewives, and the absolute worst people ever. Still! For those of you not in the know, the OG of the OC is plastic surgery aficionado and general batshit professional yeller Vicki Gunvalson. That show has been on or nearly 9 years, and she's been on every single season. She's beat the matrix. And she's got a new beau (I just watched Coen Brothers stuff). Well, he's pretty old considering how fast these ladies go through husbands, ergo it's ironic to even call them 'housewives', but anyway, this guy is the incomparable Brooks, whom no one likes. And I'm not talking no one on the show...I'm talking no one in this known universe. He's shady AF, and has been exposed for lie after malicious lie, which he loves to pin on the other cast members with his sickening Southern drawl and holier-than-thou smirk. 
And now he might have told the biggest one ever, which I can't even say that I believe or don't because I like to avoid lawsuits when possible. The whole season this year revolves around Brook's alleged cancer. A lot of the girls, well basically all of them think it's a pile of steaming hot dog shit. But Vicki is standing by Brooks no matter the fact that all of the evidence points to the contrary. 
Some backstory. A big smoking gun was Heather Dubrow. She's married to Terry Dubrow, who even if you don't get plastic surgery on a regular basis, you've heard of. He's the Michelangelo of Beverly Hills (and Orange County for the sake of the show) and is literally the most famous plastic surgeon on the continental United States. Though being married to such, Heather has (for the most part) avoided plastic surgery, but that doesn't mean that being married to a doctor hasn't given her SOME know-how. When Brook's brazenly bragged about the fact that he's not doing chemotherapy and instead opting for really experimental holistic treatment with a doctor, whom she knows personally she stressed to the other housewives and the world that this is a doctor who specializes in cellulite treatment that she had after giving birth. Now, you don't need to have passed the M-CATS to know that if you have cancer, you need to go to a real doctor. And every type has a different specialist. Brooks claims to have Non-Hodgkins lymphoma, a very aggressive and painful cancer that requires very aggressive treatment. Now, maybe Brooks wants to avoid really Walter Whitey type of treatment that will keep him on bed rest and cause his hair to fall out, but will in the end prolong his life and better his health and try basically the horoscope of medical treatment, but even so, every time he comes on screen, he looks like he just got back from a spa. Are you worried about your hair falling out? You barely have any to begin with. 
I know that Heather's Joan Crawford eye-brows always look like she's shocked, but even without them, she's always in shock. Oh my!
I honestly can't give more of an opinion than that, well at least publicly, alone at home with a bottle of chardonnay who know's what I say? But I just have to say that it doesn't surprise me that a man known for compulsively almost habitually lying about his past, is lying now. I'm skeptical, let's just leave it at that. Now, if Bravo doesn't confirm one way or another by the end of the season we are all going to be severely pissed. And I have to say, that regardless of how shameless it is to milk a cancer story much like they milked the very real battle that Yolanda Foster (cast member of the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills) had to face with Lyme disease, it makes for good drama, especially when it's a cad like Brooks, and someone that has such strangely motivated blind faith as Vicki. Shannon ever so cleverly quipped that Vicki is a smart cookie. Which she is. And 'if anyone knows, Vicki knows'. 
Even a 30-year-old ditz can google 'non-hodgkins lymphoma'. Yeeesh.
Personally I could care less, it's good TV, can't believe I just said that. But here's the thing, if he is lying, he is going to that very last ring of hell to spend eternity with child molesters, Hitler, and screenwriters who write themselves into scripts. I honestly can't believe what kind of bad juju, karma, whatever you want to call it is going to come back at him. Even if it's not, how is he sleeping at night? Even on Vicki's Egyptian cotton sheets. I can't believe I'm going to say this but I'm with Meghan (the newest and youngest addition to the cast) on this one. She's not too bright, but knows how to utilize google for research much better than Bella in Twilight (though that's not saying much) and it doesn't take an arduous online search to figure out that Brook's story and diagnosis is not adding up with how he's handling it, specifically how he's going about his treatment. As Heather said, why not just show the medical papers and shut everyone up. The truth always comes out. Just can't believe we have to wait until the season finale (airing next week) to see it. 

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