Everyone has been up in arms over the arbitrary and more-or-less useless title of People Magazine's Sexiest Man Alive going to Bradley Cooper this past week.
Bradley Cooper: Sexiest Man Alive
Facebook and Twitter were inundated with #occupygosling rants and raves. And I have to admit that I was on board until I really thought about it.
Let Bradley Cooper take the title in peace and enjoy it. No one can say that he doesn't deserve it.
People are treating him like he's some kind of troll gremlin from a bad sci-fi movie. no fair.
Here is a list of reasons that Bradley Cooper makes me go a little crazy in my lady parts.
1. He's been in drag, did it on SNL.
2. He has literally the bluest eyes in this whole universe. That's why he can't stand in front of a green screen.
3. He likes to stay home and cook rather than go to fancy pretentious restaurants.
4. He thinks the most beautiful woman that ever lived is Julie Christie.
5. He loves his mom.
6. Ryan Gosling is a mormon.
7. Ryan Gosling was born in the 80's, he has plenty of time to win Sexiest Man Alive and will as time goes by.
8. Did you see that scene in The Hangover when the morning after Cooper goes shirtless into a room to see if there is indeed a tiger there. He has the most beautiful back in man-back town.
9. He's funny.
10. His nipples are perkier than Gosling's.
The list goes superfluously on and on, but I don't want to bore you. (I probably already have).
Now, I'm not denying that Ryan Gosling is beautiful piece of Canadian man-meat. He has those innocent doe eyes, prominent brow, chiseled abs and blonde hair of a Michelangelo statue and plays characters that are always in some kind of romantic trauma that eases him nicely into all of our cheese-ball fantasy files. He's a few inches of hair short of being on the cover of Danielle Steel novels, and more power to him. He deserves the title as well, but I think Cooper is a better candidate honestly. I think with Cooper we get to see a lot of the personality that goes along with that pretty face, and corny as it may sound, that's important to our lady parts. With Gosling, I'm never sure there's more there than the characters he portrays, he's a romantic lead, but sometimes we need a clown, and Cooper can be both.
I say good job People Magazine. You have all the time in the world to give it to Gosling and probably will.