Friday, November 12, 2010

A Salute to Man Bulge

The West Side Story Man Bulge. The Sharks!
The Excessively Stupid John Travolta Man Bulge (Battlefield Earth, 1998)
The Dean Cain Superman Super Man Bulge

The Paul Newman Too-Good-To-Be-True Man Bulge (Hud, 1962)

Triple Action Sailor Man Bulge (On The Town, 1952)
One of the Many Errol Flynn Man Bulges. Man Bulge! (Robin Hood,  1938)

The Cowboy Man Bulge (Yul Brynner and Steve McQueen in The Magnificent Seven, 1960)

The Leslie Howard Romeo Man Bulge
The Vincent D'Onofrio Man Bulge (Try not to barf)
The Terry O'Quinn Man Bulge, comes with man breasts. 
The Cary Grant/Randolph Scott Man Bulge (So totally not gay)
The Gene Kelly Jumping Man Bulge

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Brundle-Fly, A Sex Symbol.

Those are his bedroom eyes. 
I have the best ideas ever. I'm making myself a tuna sandwich for dinner tonight, I thought that it would be a good idea to watch Cronenberg's 'The Fly' (1986) while I'm eating. I'm a genius right? I'm just happy I kept it down. But nothing will stop me from loving this film unconditionally, no matter how many times I've seen it. It never ceases to amaze me. Naked Jeff Goldblum? Two please and popcorn. And Geena Davis, man she's a good crier in that movie. Half of her dialogue seems to be 'Oh god no!' But it's all good, she has an Oscar now, and Goldblum is still banging 20-year-olds, so I guess it turned out well for the both of them. 
Anyway, unto the matter at hand. I would like to discuss the evolution of Brundle-Fly from something profoundly sexual to something profoundly disgusting. There's got to be a marriage allegory in there somewhere. When you first meet that special someone it's all fireworks and butterflies, and by the time you're both in your golden years, you're plotting each other's death a la 'Dial M for Murder'. But god that last part to watch is hard isn't it. Geena's all in hysterics and the fly slowly points the rifle she's holding at himself. Moral of the story being, it's hard to kill a fly...when you love him. (Bad joke, get over it). 

We have already established that Cronenberg is a sick sick mofo, and that's why we all love him so very much. And I think that 'The Fly' is the film that illustrates this point. Jeffrey Sconce notes in his blog Ludic Despair, that despite all of the pressure to professionally consider 'Hannah and Her Sisters', the best film of the year in 1986, he couldn't in good conscious overlook the genius of this one film by Cronenberg. I'm in love with the film as well and really don't think there was a better film of that year, or decade for that matter. 
It's beyond amusing how being genetically spliced with a fly gives you the sexual charisma of a house on fire.  Seth Brundle and The Situation could have a fuck-a-thon to see who can last the longest, and Brundle would beat him by a mile. Brundle turns from sex maniac to complete physical disaster, and soon enough all of that lovely tan muscly skin turns into oozing, pea soup-like fungus stuff that only Cronenberg could have imagined and engineered. Brundle's final idea for redemption is to telepod himself with pregnant Geena Davis so that he can become more human, and the fly disease won't make his dick fall off. And finally when he completely starts to literally fall apart, she shoots him in the head...a few times, crying.
I will be showing this to my kids when I have them...gather around kids...it's lesson learning time. Sex and science don't mix. But I think we girls have known that forever. It's almost a little too hard to watch beautiful Jeff Goldblum (yes I said it) transform into pretty much the grossest thing ever. In my sick feeble mind, I kind of wish he would stay in fly limbo forever, doing those back flips and the parallel bars, willing to go all night at it. But I'm a sick person. 

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Seductress Pick: Evangeline Lilly

Before the TV fatwa that was 'Lost' (2004-2010), Angie was just a small town girl from Canada trying to pay her student loans. Now she will forever be that one hot chick we all want to get stuck on a desert island with. Better known by her nickname coined by Sawyer (Josh Holloway), 'Freckles', her character Kate is almost a little too good to be true. Yes, she's a murderer but who cares. When you're put in a cast with the likes of Maggie Grace, Emilie de Ravin, and Elizabeth Mitchell, it's pretty hard to stand out. And even though we all wanted to hate her, we couldn't help but admit that she was pretty much the best thing to happen to television since 'Dynasty' (1980). We all remember that part in the pilot when she's washing her clothes in the ocean, pondering the absurdity of the plane crash, looking very upset, all of which doesn't matter because she's half naked in a pair of lacy black panties and a wet t-shirt. It's no surprise that the constant love triangle between her, Jack (Matthew Fox) and Sawyer becomes one of the central arcs of 'Lost'. Remember, this is a show about smoke monsters, 70's hatches, and time travel. But let's face it, we all secretly tuned in to see what was going with Kate and Jack, or you know, Kate and Sawyer. I was always voting for the latter for some reason. It's probably because there was that amazing sex scene the two of them shared while he was in a cage covered in dirt and she climbed into it so they could make out. Don't act like you don't remember, we all TIVO'ed it.
And yes, in real life she did end up with the hobbit from the show. And i'm sure he's thanking his lucky stars every single night that he gets to bed pretty much the most beautiful woman in television. So Angie, we salute you, and we are also majorly jealous of you, your freckles, your guns, and how in the hell you have such perfect and shiny hair when your stuck on a god damn tropical island.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Excerpt From The Dirty Novel I'm Writing.


On one such evening, when the rest of her classmates were playing poker in the courtyard over Italian beers, Dominique wandered off down the hill, notebook in hand and pencils sharpened. She had planned to park herself outside of the Café Milanese facing the façade of the Basilica di Santa Maria del Fiore, more commonly called The Duomo, in the center of the city. She knew them to have reasonably priced Chianti and fresh napolitan pizza slices. This had by now become her favorite combination. She had begun to shy away from many and creative toppings on a pizza, having had her fill in late night New York parlors which she frequented usually after a night of drinks with friends as to avoid an intense hangover. At that point, broccoli, bacon, and artichoke slices had weaned on her, and she grew to appreciate freshness and simplicity more than eccentric combination. The napolitan seemed the perfect match. It was a thin, almost paper-like crust topped with tomato slices, fresh slices of round ball mozzarella, and a leaf of basil. It was the perfect accompaniment to a few glasses of red wine, which by then she had become fluent in ordering. They were in fact the first Italian words she mastered. 
“Una pieqierri vino rosso” she stated with an air of confidence marveling at her perfection of an indigenous Italian accent.
The waiter nodded, and returned inside the café as she gently parked herself at a table for two. She adjusted her 50’s style knee-length black skirt and moved the tea-light atop the small round surface aside to make room for her journal. She seemed to recently get more creative juices flowing when her brain had been properly lubricated with a splash of wine, so as she waited, she decided to look somewhat busy and read from prior entries of random thoughts and poetry couplets. The waiter arrived with a glass, and asked her in broken English if she wanted anything else. She was rather dismayed that what she thought was perfect Italian had not masked the fact that she was an American and by their definition, a tourist. She told him she wanted a small napolitan and decided against ordering a half carafe immediately. This would be an evening of glasses.
As she finished her first one and took a bite of the napolitan she looked back on a messy paragraph she had started. It was more of a journal entry than incendiary prose.
So I’m sitting in a café in the center of the magnificence
 of Firenze, drinking Chianti and watching the sun slowly set over the ancient buildings that surround it…
An hour had passed, and that was all she had so far. Besides the ever-present presence of mental blockage that she tried to ignore and erase with wine, she was fully aware of her inability to focus on anything for too long. This gave credence to her avoidance of her school library for study. During her academic trajectory, when called upon to write papers and complete assignments, she had to be in her room with the door locked and window closed as not to pick up any excess noise from the bustling of 3rd Avenue. Everything had to be completely quiet and unwavering. Why she decided to negate this method in Italy was because of her inclination for inspiration extracted from life abroad in a foreign country. She had seen all of the busy streets of New York, walked them a thousand times, and observed the same people. She found very little beauty in its atmosphere. Instead, she saw dirt, intimidation, and too much catharsis of movement. Everyone was always running somewhere, doing something; everything was in hyper speed. Florence, on the other hand, was a city of beauty; of peaceful sunsets, ancient architecture, and gentle, sophisticated folk who took time to say hello and thank you.
Amongst this peace, she thought that she would finally be able to be comforted in her surroundings and allowed the opportunity to thrive in her creative endeavors. She felt it somehow wrong to negate the wonder of this city and sit in her quiet room to complete her work. Inspiration would be found on the streets and the café’s. It was paramount for her to intersperse with this profoundly different pace of culture. But in the midst of all of this philosophizing, she had failed to understand that her creativity was not stifled by environment but from her personal lack of enthusiasm that had reared its ugly head only very recently, and any external change to affect it would prove futile, as it was this particular night.
She ordered another glass of wine and sighed out of fatigue. She finally elected to put her pen down and lean back in her chair and relax. The prospect of feeling uncomfortable while being alone, constantly thinking that everyone’s gaze was concentrated specifically on her, seemed to wither with the steady intake of alcohol and she no longer felt it incumbent of her to ‘look busy’. Her eyes wandered about and after a while ended up centered at the interior of the café, where the young attractive waiter who had been working her table was sitting atop a bar stool conversing with the proprietor behind the counter.
Not too much else was going on at the café. There was an elderly woman sitting at another table outside; otherwise, it was empty. She flirted with the idea of asking the young waiter to join her for a drink…her treat of course. But she figured that she should stop making impulsive decisions under the influence of wine, even if they were relatively harmless, as to avoid early morning regret. She came up with this conclusion just as she realized that she was staring at him, at which point he had noticed too and smiled before turning to the proprietor of the café with a careless laugh.
“Great” she muttered under her breath.
He probably thinks I’m a sex-obsessed desperate who pulls this with every waiter in the two block radius. She thought to herself in a tangent of paranoia, which came too easily to her now a days.
In her fervor, she accidentally jerked her arm towards the glass and missed. The glass fell, spilling bright red liquid over the table and her precious journal. The waiter had by then gone behind the counter and bent down to retrieve something from the lower shelves, missing her embarrassing little mishap. In her clumsy moments, she preferred to fix it herself without sympathetic aid from strangers who would turn around and snicker about it later. She took a large wad of napkins from the brass antique holder on her table and thrust them upon the wetness. Quick as she tried to do this, she had not realized that she was being even clumsier in her agitated state, as napkins also began to spill on the floor and unto her feet.
“Oh god!” she blurted in frustration and bend over to retrieve the excess. As she did so she saw an arm underneath the table moving towards her.
“Oh!” she exclaimed as she almost jumped out of her chair.
Being a nervous type, mishaps and clumsiness only yielded profound levels of anxiety where jumping up in seats were regular practices; from scary parts in films to the loud slamming of cabinet doors. She had no time to calm herself and take in the knowledge that a man had stopped in his tracks to notice her troubles and sprung forward to help her clean up. After catching her breath and taking a quick second for self-composure, she took a good look at this stranger with a penchant for random acts of kindness.
Because he was kneeling, it was impossible to estimate his height, but from his body mass, it was evident that the man was at least 6 feet tall. Built yet trim, he was dressed neatly with an essence of class and sophistication that harkened back to the times of the 1940’s when Cary Grant sported debonair suits accented with clever ties. He had on a white button-down shirt underneath a thin black wool sweater with the cuffs tucked into the sweater’s sleeves and the collar pulled out comfortably yet stringently. He coupled this with a pair of khaki slacks that looked like they had been ironed three times over and were at perfect length so that one would take notice of his shoes, but not his socks. It looked as though a person had literally sewn this outfit around his body so that nothing was too short, too long, or needed any kind of adjustment.

His hair was something not often seen in the current affected culture where the mantra is: the more hair gel the better. It was a beautiful thick brunette sea atop his head that was tucked at the sides behind his ears. It glistened not from grease, but from freshness and clarity, accented by the moonlight. It was parted in the middle, with soft waves moving from his forehead to the back of his neck. His eyes were round and large like teacups. They were the color that of wet mahogany; dark and piercing to where in a dim light, one wouldn’t be able to point out his pupils even if standing right in front of him. He was clean shaven, with a small birthmark on the bottom of his left cheek; too far away from his mouth to be a beauty mark, but too close to the middle of his face to be disregarded as an unimportant physical trademark.
He smiled at her gently and subtly…too subtly to know whether he was considering this a pathetic instance that needed his kind assistance, or whether he took pleasure in helping her out because of an initial attraction. His smile seemed to be more natural and welcoming than any she had ever seen in her past experiences with initial introductions. To that end she was able to finally calm herself. 
“Hi…it’s ok.” He said in an almost whisper.
And it was then that the thoughts of embarrassment, creative bankruptcy, atmosphere, and everything that had permeated itself in her mind since the evening began finally cleared. It was a sound so beautiful that it seemed to silence all of her cynical thoughts. His voice was deep but welcoming. He spoke softly but not hoarsely, with an accent she immediately interpreted as not that of outlandish heavy Italian she had heard day in and day out since her arrival. It was a subtle, almost lyrical speech that gave her comfort. It was like the sound of a gust of cool wind hugging her on an especially hot day.
“Thank you…ugh I’m sorry” she replied tongue-tied and nervous, now that she realized her initial attraction to him.
Stay calm, breath, don’t talk too fast, don’t use ‘um’, ‘ugh’, or any other Americanized determents towards an unsophisticated barrel of personal language practice. She told herself.
--And don’t introduce yourself too fast…don’t assume this is an introduction…test the waters…test the waters…
The stranger finished picking up the napkins and grabbed her journal from the table to gently wipe its exterior. He grouped the dirty ones into a corner and held out her journal for her to take, rather than placing it back on the table. She reached out her hand and took hold of the other end. It was too big a book for their hands to subtly touch. He remained kneeled on the floor as not to intimidate her by standing up, so that the two would be eye level. It was evident he had more to say.
“I hope it is not too damaged on the inside.” He stated.
“Oh no, no I’m sure it’s ok. It didn’t get through the cover…besides there’s nothing good in there anyway” she said with nervous laughter.
Stop shooting yourself in the foot damn you. How does he know you don’t have Shakespeare in there?
“You know, I think writing always looks more romantic when it is stained and worn…it gives it a sense of history” He contradicted.
Dominique was sold. This was completely congruent with her notions of romanticism of objects. She began to run with a tangent of what other possible common ground they would have, but abruptly stopped. She reminded herself that considering how much trouble she has with answering questions on the spot. In the past this lead to rejection from certain important jobs because of her awkward interviewing skills. She elected to constantly be on mental point.
Think of what will be asked next and next, know the answer before he asks the question.
Alas, her mental processes and self-advisory had done little to curb her anxiousness that at times manifests itself outwardly as shyness. She didn’t know whether to agree verbally, or just nod her head. There was always the possibility of offering a contradiction with a cohesive counter-argument that would make her sound intelligent but not too intelligent, so as to avoid intimidation. This excess of reflective thought caused her mind to go completely blank. All she could do was offer a smile. She slowly raised the corners of her lips, remembering that her mother always told her that when she smiles naturally, she is at her most beautiful.
Don’t make a photograph face. Smile naturally, comfortably…NOT TOO MUCH!
“Um…(damn it!)…Yeah, I never thought of that.” She finally blurted.
Thank him…THANK HIM!
“…Thank you…” she stated too early to realize she had already done so.
He smiled and let out a single laugh. He was if anything amused and thereby interested. It appeared as though he was enjoying this elementary exchange of pre-supposed phrases and glances, but the question of what he will decide to do or say next remained a complete mystery. She wanted to ask him where his accent was from…she wanted to compliment him on his clothes, and offer him a seat. In short, she wanted him to stay. In her past, she felt she had been too forward, too seemingly desperate, and too laughably extraverted. She wanted him to take initiative, to say something, and to offer his company to her. Why must it always end in this excruciating dichotomy? There are so many things she could do to be proactive, but what if being proactive was not and never had been the best option? It’s hard-to-get types that men go for. It’s those frivolous, ambivalent, waifish types that have the men chasing after them. They forward their proactive energy to their counterparts, and thereby are the ones receiving invitations rather than giving them, at least this is what Dominique had deciphered from her personal experiences.
But something told her this was going to be different. Whether it was his appearance, his dress code, or his strangely welcoming sensibility and charm; this was going to be a different encounter, even if nothing came of it.
“What do you write?” he asked.
She was right. This was different. The usual next exchange would be inquiry about her name. If this were a man who just bend down to help and then said “Bueno notti, bella” on his way back to the road, then that would be the end of that. But this stranger who lingered about and stared deeply into her eyes without detracting to the table, the dirty napkins, or her journal, had more to say. It was a surprise that it was about her work rather than her initial identity. Where did this man come from? And why was he so good at projecting his comfort upon others?
“I don’t know yet. I’m trying to find out…” She answered trying to avoid specifics.
“Are you working, am I interrupting you?”
“Oh no. No! I’m actually done. I was just sitting.” She assured him.
There was a pause. She thought that now was her chance. He obviously wants to talk to her. He continues to linger and lean over her table. She began to think he was waiting for an invitation. This was Europe, maybe it wouldn’t be considered so forward here? She reminded herself she had time and had no other place to be. The wine in her body warmed her face and sent a subdued wave of relaxation through her limbs. She was finally at a good comfort level. She didn’t have to think so much and could just go with the unfolding of events and phrases of looks and gestures. With a reboot of confidence, and an abrupt excitement which caused a wave of sober thought to come into her head, she felt that as one thinking clearly, if she wanted this and acted on it, there would be no regret as it would not be out of desperation, compromising of logic because of wine, or overt anxiousness. This was a clear though, and she cherished it. She was not thinking too far ahead, just that she didn’t want to let this opportunity, whatever it may be, to slip through her fingers.
“Would you like to sit?” she finally asked.
Oh god, oh god…what did I just do? He’s going to decline. He’s going to laugh at me. He’s got better things to do; a girlfriend, a beautiful Italian girlfriend with long legs and a 24 inch waist—
“I’d love to…as long as you don’t mind.”
…Never mind…
The stranger got up and seemed to slide from the ground into the chair opposite Dominique in one graceful motion. He adjusted himself, leaning slightly to her side as if to see her face from a better angle. He looked around a bit.
“Was that Chianti before the incident?” he questioned with a sly smile.
Dominique nodded her head, laughing at herself. He motioned for the waiter, who came out with a rather judgmental look on his face. He looked at Dominique and then at the stranger, waiting for instruction. The stranger ordered two glasses of ‘the same’, dismissing the waiter with his tone of voice rather than an elitist hand wave. Dominique began to assume all kinds of things. He must be a cultural paragon with aristocratic pedigree, ordering so casually and yet so cordially. He must be a baron or the descendant of some rich side of the ancient Medici; old money with extensive knowledge of manners and accountability.
The two continued to talk for what seemed like only a short period of time, so when Dominique finally checked her watch, it said: 12:30, and she had been there since 5:00 in the afternoon. Neither of the party seemed anxious, nor felt it incumbent to check the time so they could excuse themselves and go their separate ways. The conversation stuck to the simplicity of elementary basics one learns about another during their first meeting. What was she doing there? Where was she from initially? How does she like it? To which she offered counter-queries of the same nature. And though one could attribute these kinds of exchanges as mundane excuses to avoid uncomfortable silences on a first date, this stranger who by then had introduced himself to her as Federico, gave off an air of genuine curiosity that allowed her to flourish in her answers without subjecting herself to answering on the spot and with swift, unguided precision as if at a job interview. She avoided the backdoor ways girls usually go about a conversation that would help them find out whether the other party had a girlfriend/wife, because he initially had mentioned to her that he was in Florence not only for career purposes, but to get away from home which served as a constant reminder of his now defunct relationship with someone named Claudia. Career wise, he was there on location to shoot a film, as one of the leading roles in a small but what he referred to as an ‘important tale’ of a film. Not quite established as an actor to audiences in his home in Madrid, much less to worldwide acclaim, his salary was comparably modest. Yet, this lack of fame allowed for him to branch out into important and significant work rather than concentrate on a particularly forward career trajectory, concerned primarily with creating a persona. He still had the advantage of being an actor who was working while maintaining his anonymity, which according to him was of absolute importance at this point in his life.

Monday, November 1, 2010

'Shivers'...Down My Spine.



A very young Cronenberg directs one of his actors in one of the less bizarre scenes of the Shivers.


Is there a better director out there living AND working right now than David Cronenberg? I submit that there is not. And clearly, every single one of his films would be perfect for analysis in a filth discourse, but I want to talk about an experience I had Friday, where appropriately enough, during Halloween weekend, my department decided to screen a double feature of Cronenberg. The one I attended was 'Shivers' (1975). The working title of this film was 'Orgies of The Blood Parasites'. It was shot on a very low budget in Montreal, like many of his early stuff, and let's just say that 'The Fly' doesn't hold a candle to the nastiness of this film; nastiness I mean in the best way possible. 

Here's the premise; there's virtually no plot, and random people in a posh condo slowly become infected by slimy phallic slugs that a mad scientist thought would cure people of 'thinking too much'. He wanted for people to be like animals again, and wanted the world to be a giant orgy. Thus, the slugs he created, penetrate (for lack of a better word) the person, and slowly turn them into a crazed sex maniac. Slowly over time, the whole hotel gets 'infected' and engages in one uberorgy, right before embarking on the rest of the world in order to turn everyone into a sex maniac. Sounds like a n awesome party right? Kind of reminds you of that one weekend at the beach? Yeah, good times. 
The allegory in this film is almost a bit too obvious, but that's what I think makes it so incredible, because it really stands out as one of those few well-made camp horror films. If we're talking about camp-horror as a sub-genre, we usually think cheerleaders, ants, brains being eaten, and bizarre things happening to breasts. We usually think purposeful cheap quality, and lack of plot. This film is of course many of those things, but it still manages to be intellectual and absolutely gross at the same time. If you thought you had penis fear before? After this you might just join a convent. The slug creatures are reminiscent of those posters of VD that hangs in the OBGYN's office that is supposed to scare the everloving crap out of you so that you never want to have sex again every time you visit. And when she/he offers you free condoms from that weird goldfish bowl as you're leaving the office, you tell her 'no thanks', because you're going home to kill yourself. They will get inside your body anyway they can, just like VD I guess. The most popular means is through any orifice in the head/face (including the ear) bet you didn't think of that one, but Cronenberg did. That's why he's acclaimed and famous, and you're not. At one point this one actor (who's strange looking to begin with) ends up spitting a giant slimy phallic slug right into the mouth of someone else. At another point, there is a woman played with brilliant over-the-top style by Barbara Steele (remember her? she was the weird one in 8 1/2...did that help?) gets drunk and takes a bath, now when was there ever a movie where that scenario ended well?  A slug crawls through the drain right into her lady parts after which there is momentary paralysis, followed by the unwavering need to have an orgy. The only person that seems to outrun this 'plague' for most of the film is the doctor that works in the building. He is a fine upstanding citizen who just wants to help everyone (very much what they based the character of Jack Shepherd on in Lost). After a while though, the sex maniacs track him down and he is forced to have sex with a bunch of beautiful naked women, poor bastard. 
Barbara Steele's bathtub seconds before she's taken over.

It's all very simple. It's a satire about the worst fears of those fine upstanding citizens of the world that want to protect their citizens from 'corruption'. Be careful, or the slimy penis slug will crawl into your body and take over your mind. This is what will happen to society if we let people run wild. Sex should be regulated, and should only be after marriage, otherwise we're just a bunch of wild animals spreading our sexual desires to others and corrupting the youth blah blah blah. But Cronenberg has to incorporate this satire into a camp-horror context, otherwise, it's just no fun is it? Otherwise it becomes just another stick-it-to-the-man 70's film. 8 years before he made 'The Fly' (1983), which is arguably the best sexual allegory film of all time, there was this low budget magnum opus of intelligent filth. It is a masterpiece of deviant art. It's horrifying, hilarious, disgusting, and completely fascinating. Please if you can find it, treat yourself. You won't regret it...well, maybe you will. 

Friday, October 29, 2010

Film Survey! (that i attempted to dirty up)

Thanks to Noodle In a Haystack for this survey! Let's get started.

1. What is your favorite movie starring William Powell and Myrna Loy, excluding all ofThe Thin Man films?
Honestly? Don't care. :p

2. Name a screen team that appeared in only one film together but are still noteworthy for how well they complimented each other.

Deborah Kerr and Yul Brynner.
That's a match made in a Hollywood crack den. But admit it, you really wished they had hooked up. 
3. Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers' best film together?
Roberta (1935)
4. Your favorite actor named "Robert"?
Robert Mitchum. He'd take you roughly in the barn. 
5. An actor/actress who, when you see one of their movies, you always wish that someone else was in his/her role?
Burt Lancaster. All those teeth and muscles couldn't hide his ridiculously stiff acting.
6. An actor/actress that someone close to you really loves that you can't stand or vice versa? 
Donna Reed. The poor man's Ingrid Bergman. Yawn. 
7. An actor/actress that you both agree on completely?
My Mary. 
8. Complete this sentence: Virginia O'Brien is to Ethel Merman as...
Whatever. 

9. What is your favorite film starring Ray Milland?


The Lost Weekend (1945). Drunks are hot. And loose. 
10. You had to have seen this one coming: what is your favorite movie of the 1960s? 
Valley. Of. The. Freakin. Dolls! (1967) Nuff said. 

11. An actor/actress that you would take out of one film and put into a different movie that was released the same year?
Skip, too long. 

12. Who was your favorite of Robert Montgomery's leading ladies?
Skip. 


13. You think it would have been a disaster if what movie starred the actor/actress who was originally asked to star in it?


If the role of Daphne/Jerry in Some Like it Hot (1959) was played by Frank Sinatra as originally intended. 


14. An actor/actress who you will watch in any or almost any movie?
Montgomery Clift. I have nothing more to add without sounding like a big pervert. 
15. Your favorite Leslie Howard film and role?
Ok don't judge me, but I'm going to have to go with Gone With The Wind (1939), everyone fell for Rhett, I immediately fell for Ashley, for reasons still unknown to me. 
16. You have been asked to host a marathon of three Barbara Stanwyck films. Which ones do you choose?
Every man's wet dream and worst nightmare. Boobs and brains. Does it get better than Stanwyck? If we're talking deviant undertones I'm going to have to go with her earlier work. 




17. What is, in your mind, the nearest to perfect comedy you have ever seen? Why?
Trouble in Paradise (1936). Lubitch on sex, that's why.
18. You will brook no criticism of what film?
The Heiress (William Wyler) 1949
If this film wasn't already perfectly constructed, if you have a problem with Monty Clift with a mustache, tails and a top hat, you go to hell, you go to hell and you die. 
19. Who is your favorite Irish actress?
Maureen O'Hara (duh). 
20. Your favorite 1940s movie starring Ginger Rogers?
Meh. 

21. Do you enjoy silent movies?
Yes. 

22. What is your favorite Bette Davis film?
Of Human Bondage (1933). Who doesn't love cockney sluts?
23. Your favorite onscreen Hollywood couple?
Joan Crawford and her eyebrows. 
24. This one is for the girls, but, of course, the guys are welcome to answer, too: who is your favorite Hollywood costume designer?
Adrian. 
"It was because of Garbo that I left M-G-M. In her last picture they wanted to make her a sweater girl, a real American type. I said, 'When the glamour ends for Garbo, it also ends for me. She has created a type. If you destroy that illusion, you destroy her.' When Garbo walked out of the studio, glamour went with her, and so did I."

25. To even things out a bit, here's something the boys will enjoy: what is your favorite tough action film?
The Magnificent Seven (1960). Hot men in tight pants. Done and done. 




26. You are currently gaining a greater appreciation for which actor(s)/actress(es)?
Judy Garland. Better late than never right?
27. Franchot Tone: yes or no?

Oh dear god yes, yes! YESSSSSS!
28. Which actors and/or actresses do you think are underrated?
Camp queen and occasional fatty, my personal hero, Shelley Winters.  
29. Which actors and/or actresses do you think are overrated?
Clark Gable. Am I the only one who wouldn't hit that?  
30. Favorite actor?
Montgomery Clift. My life can be divided into two parts; before Monty and after Monty. 
31. Favorite actress?
The legendary Vivien Leigh. The most beautiful woman ever to walk the face of the earth, and one bat shit crazy bitch. 


32. Of those listed, who is the coolest: Paul Newman, Robert Redford, Steve McQueen, or Patrick Stewart?
Steve McQueen. When I first saw him in 'The Magnificent Seven' it was like the second coming. He still has a very thick file in the fantasy section of my dreams. 
33. What is your favorite Hitchock movie? 
I Confess (1953). I have a priest fetish. I am ashamed of myself. 

Monday, October 25, 2010

The Naughty Boardwalk

What new show has had a more hyped premiere than 'Boardwalk Empire'? It was directed by Scorsese, it was starring Steve Buscemi, it was about the 20's and bootlegging, etc. HBO really advertised the fact that this was the time of going back to quality programming. The show's relevance is rather questionable, and though interesting to me and a few other History Channel nerds out there, it's main point is to revive interest in perhaps the most significant decade for the United States (no, it wasn't the 1960's. Sorry hippies). There was much in this decade that would were catalysts for profound changes not only on a sociopolitical level, but on that of sexuality as well.
Paz de la Huerta playes Lucy, Nucky's sassy and dimwitted mistress. In this scene doing the quintessential 20's thing right after the Charteston; popping out of a birthday cake. 

When I say 'sexuality', i am not simply referring to the act of sex, I am referring to attitudes, dress codes, and general notions regarding the 'rules'; flirtation, proposition, rate of exchange etc. 
I'm sure among the many things that people forgot about those golden years, one of them must have been just how much sex has changed since. The first show that harkened back to sexual politics of a different area that seem completely alien in this day and age was 'Mad Men' (2008). Not only did it show us the undertones and taboos of sex in the work place, but also the attitudes between the sexes that are influenced by everything from clothes to suggestive gestures. 
Now, 'Boardwalk Empire' deems to take us even further, to where it's not so much a history lesson at the end of which, we are thinking; 'oh that's how that thing started', but serves as a retrospective on the history of gender relation and sensuality coupled with the intense changing of the times. We can see this transpire in the dichotomy between the upper and lower classes. The former is symbolized by Enoch 'Nucky' Thompson (Buscemi), a corrupt politician. The former represented by one of his workers, Jimmy (Michael Pitt) who just came back from WWI to settle back into family life with his wife and kid, as well as get his hands dirty in the booming business of bootlegging. More so, its personified in the women that serve as their better halves (and I am using this term liberally). Nucky has some 20-something, pretty in a high class escort kind of way, dimwitted broad with a voice like Jean Crain in 'Singin' in the Rain' (1952). She's loose, beautiful, and not too smart. The perfect composite of a 1920's flapper. Jimmy's wife is homely, pale, skinny, and mousey. You get the feeling that had she had the opportunity to be born into wealth, and met the right men like Nucky, she could very much end up like Lucy (Paz De La Huerta). She has the legs for it. Instead, she gets stuck in domestic purgatory taking care of a brat who's father is away at the front in France and doesn't write.
Add a very awkward Oedipal relationship between Michael Pitt and Gretchen Mol (who get this, plays HIS MOTHER), and you've got yourself a controversial hit. What separates 'Boardwalk Empire' from mostly everything else on TV (with the exception of Mad Men) is that it is not exploiting the content for shock value which always always equals ratings. It's taking all the wonderful sex and violence of the 1920's and building a story around it. There might be a bit of an areola overload in it lately. But I for one can't wait to see what new debauchery these crazy cats get into. And if you are successfully managing to sell Steve Buscemi as a sex symbol, then you get major kudos.