Body Shaming Gigi Hadid. The World Has Officially Lost Its Mind

Gigi Hadid on Instagram

When I wake up I usually check my Zite app on my commute to catch up on pop culture news, and then stuff that's happening in the world like the Republican debate, the pope's visit to America and other stuff...you know, priorities. What popped up today made me sick to my stomach. And it's funny that stuff about a supermodel being bullied on social media has that effect on me, but sorry not sorry? 

Show-stopping end of Hilfiger's show at NYFF this year with Gigi leading the way. 

Backstory. I'm an avid die-hard Real Housewives fan, especially The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. We were first introduced to basically the hottest model commodity in the fashion world today through the franchise as she was the daughter of one of the principal cast members (also a model). Gigi Hadid is the product of Yolanda Foster and Muhammad Hadid. At 16 she was already modeling. When your mother is a former supermodel herself, you can rely on contracts from IMG, Wilhelmina, and Ford from age 4. She was seriously stunning. Like her mother, she stood around 5'10 and had legs for days and a beautiful voluptuous body. If you watched the show you know that even before she started her career her mother was really stringent about Gigi's diet and exercise routine, considering blessed with literally the best genes on the planet there's really no need for that. I always thought that Andy Cohen would do a spin off on Gigi and her younger sister Bella (also a model, and also freakin' gorgeous) but then Gigi up and moved to New York to quote pursue a modeling career while studying criminal psychology, suffice it to say the latter didn't work out. But god damn her modeling career took off and she was quickly walking the runways in Paris, New York, and Milan, and appeared on every single billboard for Guess, and graced the covers of Vogue, W, and the like. 

Like mother like daughter. Yolanda Foster on the left during her equally successful modeling career. 

And I'm sorry but the era of heroin-chic that Kate Moss dominated is long over. We don't need our models to look like they are in the terminal stages of drug addiction any more. Setting those kind of sick unachievable standards was just wrong and I can't believe that dark circles under your eyes, a paler beyond pale complexion and bones sticking out of every part of your body was considered sexy. 

Anyway, back to Gigi. She's fresh faced, blonde, and unimaginably beautiful and graceful. And homegirl knows how to model. Again, she was raised by a model, so... After she opened up an Instagram account, we all got to see the behind-the-scenes Gigi and god damnit, she's just as gorgeous just hanging out on her couch. For fuck's sake. And now people are giving her shit? I object! Have you SEEN her instagram? I'd die for selfie's like that. I know she's a model, and I know the standards are high, but in my opinion, SHE'S the standard for all other models right now. Her legs start at her neck, her lips are naturally big and pillowy so there's no need for duckface, and her hair is luxuriously long. She literally looks like a Disney princess that the Disney animators were never creative enough to invent. Seriously world? Body shaming a supermodel? I can tell just by looking at her that she probably wears a size 2 or 0, and can pull off wearing literally ANYTHING so shut up people. That's just wrong. 

If you were this hot, you'd take a bunch of Instagram selfies too. SMIZE!

You're probably jealous because there's not a flaw on Gigi Hadid, and  you have nothing better to do with your time than troll instagram and get envious. Yeah, fuck her for having flawless skin, long flowy hair, big beautiful eyes, and a penchant for mirror selfies (that last one I'm totally guilty of, so I feel her pain, the rest not so much). And body shaming? In a world where cyberbullying is so revolting that it leads to suicide, could you be a little more careful with where you direct your abject negativity? Or here's a thought, not use it at all and shut the fuck up? 

body shaming? urly?

She was raised right though, she responded in a very classy way shutting down her haters. 'I hope everyone gets to a place in their life where they'd rather talk about things that inspire them over things that bring others down.' Simple, but right on the money. I know not a lot of you follow her on Instagram (I do, yay me!) and even fewer of you paid attention to New York Fashion Week this year, but she killed it (especially at the grand finally of Tommy Hilfiger's show), so for your own dignity, just stop. If anything it makes you look like more of a loser, especially when you resort to something so abhorrent as body shaming; which to me, is absolutely inexcusable. It's cruel, and it says more about you as a terrible human being than the person you're doing it to. Ok I'm done.

TV's Reign of Delicious Fucked-Upedness

Jessica Lange in American Horror Story: Freakshow. Fabulous.

Scream Queens, Scandal, and How To Get Away With Murder. No it's not a retrospective on the 90's, it's some of TV's most successful shows. Let's get down to business. We all watched the Emmy's we know who wins all of the awards, but TV is all about ratings in the end isn't it? With the TV renaissance appearing to be nearing its tail-end, there are those who grasped the medium and refuse to let go without a fight. Mad Men is over, Breaking Bad is over, Downton Abbey...you get the idea. Now, if we could just get Girls to wrap up quietly, we'll be great! We're left with two major camps who dominate in ratings and have given us a specific point of view and auteur-like quality to their bastion of shows. 

In one corner we have the incomparable Shonda Rhimes; the brainchild behind Grey's Anatomy, Scandal, and most recently How to Get Away with Murder, a problematic and I'll say sometimes laughably outlandish show, but it did win Viola Davis her history-making Emmy, proving that Shonda is a solid force to be reckoned with in the TV industry. 

In the other corner we have a creative team the likes of which I haven't seen since Damon Lindelof and Carlton Cuse; Ryan Murphy and Brad Falchuk who have proved versatile in genres including both comedy and horror with shows like Glee, Nip/Tuck, and American Horror Story, their marriage of the two genres culminating with the recently premiered, Scream Queens. 

Emma Roberts in Scream Queens, previously of AHS fame and Ryan Murphy's current muse.

Both of these camps have a clear cut voice and vision, and their shows, although niche, are widely popular to the point where you'll tune in just because you heard that Shonda is exec producer on something, regardless of content. The age of shows that take themselves very, almost too seriously are over. And we've ushered in the age of highly imaginative content and wildly outlandish premises and characters. I would say that both Shonda and Murphy/Falchuk are very camp in their approach. In the immortal words of Blanche Dubois; 'I don't want realism, I want magic', and that's just what shows like Scandal and American Horror Story provide. Both teams provide a hyperactive reality and prefer style over accuracy. It's actually a genius strategy. Let's take Shonda. There are already countless courtroom and political drama shows that are in syndication and still airing on television. How do you go around that? Make the premise totally implausible and put as many twists and turns imaginable in it. It's so much more fun when you don't adhere to any rules except your own. Olivia Pope (Kerry Washington), the epicenter of Scandal is a feminist and television icon by now. We can forget that every situation she finds herself in is highly unlikely to happen in actuality, but who cares? There's no limits to the creative imagination and that's what both camps have proven. 

Olivia and President Fitz; the love story that we are all talking about and yet totally implausible and highly imaginative. 

Murphy and Falchuk have really grown to impress. Nip/Tuck was campy but it was ridiculous. And who wants to see a scripted show about plastic surgeons when we can see it on E!'s Botched for real? Glee, I wasn't the biggest fan of, perhaps because I couldn't stand its fan base...the Gleeks. Let's face it, that show was just pretty people in a kareoke bar without the booze. But they totally redeemed themselves with American Horror Story which has the inventive bravado of a show like Lost. It's completely implausible, and very unrealistic, but honestly how much does that matter? Were we all on board with secret hatches, black smoke monsters and time travel on a mysterious island? Yes we were. 

The highly anticipated new season of American Horror Story (Hotel) will feature Lady Gaga as a member of the principle cast. And when we all heard about this we collectively lost our shit. 

Scream Queens, their latest endeavor, had a brilliant premiere and seems to marry both Murphy's and Falchuk's penchant for horror with their fabulous nose for comic timing. Both camps also share something with every successful show right now and that is a multi-protagonist show. A la Lost, both Scandal and Scream Queens, Grey's Anatomy and American Horror Story have well over 10 main characters, and aren't afraid to kill anyone off. If you have 20 people in the main cast, you have more freedom to end their trajectory without losing your audience, because there are 19 left to keep the story moving. 

Viola Davis, star of How to Get Away with Murder and the show's creator Shonda Rhimes. 

We have to admit that at this point, each teams plethora of shows kind of bleed into each other. We can see parallels and similarities between Scandal and How to Get Away with Murder, just like we can see them between AHS and Scream Queens, but when you have that much content and that many active shows, how can you not use your powers as a storyteller to create a distinct voice that resonates through all of your work? That's the mark of an auteur after all. 

The new TGIT campaign really says it all. We don't have to roll up our sleeves and sit among the most self-righteous tv snobs for an hour of Breaking Bad where a general bleakness and way over-the-top deaths married with an existential darkness dominating the premise. We can pour ourselves a comically large glass of wine and have fun with our friends who take no shame in totally believing what is happening on Scandal. 

Banner for the current TGIT fall campaign.

I for one, believe that this is a brilliant time for TV, where anything goes. Yes, it can be a 'drama' but it doesn't have to be bleak, and serious, and harsh. Most of us watch TV for a break from our lives, we yearn for the unrealistic; the magical. I just finished yet another Buzzfeed countdown, this one about some of the greatest one-liners on the premiere of Scream Queens. None of them are anything you'll ever ever EVER hear in real life, and all of them totally ridiculous, but they are hilarious and genius. Where else are you going to hear 'good evening, idiot hookers.' Probably on Vanderpump Rules, but hey at least this one is scripted. With based-on-real-events shows like Masters of Sex and Halt and Catch Fire tanking, we can see that it's not what the viewing public hungers for anymore. 

With the most recent Emmy's, it's been proven that a show that doesn't take itself too seriously can still be taken seriously as something of worth, and that's the genius of both Rhimes and Murphy/Falchuk. I don't think any of them set out to write shows that garner awards, in fact they are usually the kind of shows that don't. But ratings don't lie, and now award shows are catching up to the trend. As should you. I've mentioned a lot of shows in this blog post, if you don't watch at least one of them, well you're not a very good person. So get on that. Please and thank you. 

Below the new TGIT campaign.

Emmy's 2015 - Best and Worst Dressed

The Emmy's were a bit of a snoozefest in everything between the beginning and end. Some wonderful wins like Viola Davis, Uzo Aduba, and of course Jon Hamm made me ecstatic, and Andy Samberg was a pretty competent host...I guess. But let's get down to what really matters, the outfits. Most of them were horrid, just not going to lie and say it right now. A big trend this year was the Hillary Clinton pants suit, and I was surprised but I totally loved all of them from Lea Delaria to Jill Soloway. The Annie Hall look is back ya'll, nothing wrong with wearing pants on a red carpet and most ladies rocked it. Unfortunately, those in gowns totally went ape shit and made the red carpet into some kind of circus fiasco. Here's my brutal best and worst dressed list, back by popular demand. (By the way, let's just announce the winners and losers right now) Best Dressed: Lady Gaga, worst dressed: Heidi Klum. Phew, that felt good. Well here we go...let's start with best as not to scare you. 

BEST: 

Sofia Vergara in St. John's Knits. Seriously this woman could wear trash bags with actual trash in them and still be fabulous. I want to know who's blood she's drinking, this woman does not age or fray. God damn her. 

Ellie Kemper in Naeem Khan. She's adorable, her show's really sweet, and this dress would be totally problematic on most people but she carried it flawlessly, I wish her hair was down because it would have totally matched. 

Lea Delaria in I don't know. I am so in love with Lea. With this androgynous crushed velvet maroon suit, she looks so fabulous. Coupled with those trademark glasses of hers, she wins.

Emma Roberts in Jenny Packham. She's so young,  I don't know why she chose a gown that would usually be donned by someone twice her age. She kind of looks a bit Granny Chic in it, but with the long blonde hair and those doe-eyes, she makes it work on her teeny frame. 

Lady Gaga in Brandon Maxwell. I guess the days of Alexander McQueen and Philip Treacy are over. Gaga is an actress now and definitely brought a sense of Old Hollywood chic to the event. Less is more, and she nailed it. Definitely best dressed. She looks unbelievable.

Kerry Washington in Marc Jacobs. At first I hated this dress, but after tossing and turning all night I had a change of heart. It's a little, well weird. But Kerry carries it so well, I have to put her on the Best Dresed end. It's fashion forward, and very flattering. 

Jill Soloway in Bottega Veneta. Out of all of the pants suits, this has to be my favorite. It works brilliantly on her. I just love the whole, let's make every part of the outfit the same exact material and pattern. It's quirky, simple, and looks great on her. 

Jackie Cruz in Christian Siriano. The ladies from OITNB definitely know how to clean up for the red carpet...for the most part. No one this time was as stunning as Jackie Cruz in this plunging neckline high slit dress. It's so elegant, and something usually reserved for Sofia Vergara, but props to you Jackie, you actually beat her to the punch.

Allison Janney in again, I don't know. This is a ballsy dress for anyone much less a 55 year old. But my god what a stunning body on that woman. She's probably my second favorite of the night. The dress is almost a little too much and could look like something an AVN award winner would wear, but Janney is so elegant, she makes it a work of art. Congrats on the Emmy btdubs.

Laverne Cox in Calvin Klein. She slays basically every red carpet she walks on, and this really minimalist turquoise number reminds me of Jennifer Lawrence's Calvin Klein dress she wore to her first Oscar ceremony. That color looks amazing on her, and she's just stunning overall. 

Tatiana Maslani in Buchra Jarrar. This plunging neckline white pants suit is everything. It's so awesome. A girl like Tatiana who probably doesn't weigh more than 100 pounds can basically wear anything, and I'm so grateful she opted for the pants and not the gown. Slender and sophisticated, she shines on the red carpet. Also I love the white.

Samira Wiley in I DON'T KNOW! Samira always wears these kinds of minimalist gowns which she compensates for by wearing a really bright color. Hey the formula works. It reminds me of that Tom Ford white gown that Gwenyth wore...look it up. The one sleeve thing is so hot right now, especially when the other sleeve is a cape. 'This is the best costume for today' (look that up too). 

Sarah Hyland in Zac Posen. This is a young girl who basically styles herself like someone 10 years older than her. Her flair for fashion is very advanced, and she rarely looks problematic. She looks vibrant and elegant. She's got such a pretty face and figure, she doesn't need much to achieve props on the red carpet. 

Carrie Brownstein in Stella McCartney. Let's end with another pants suit. I would wear this every day, could I afford Stella McCartney. Accented by bright red lipstick and brilliant heels, this is so chic, and so beautiful on Carrie. Bravo!

And now, for the WORST. Be prepared. 

Jane Krakowski in Bibhu Mohaptra. Looks like it's Zac Posen but it's not. It totally washes her out and is a bit too tight. But that's not the main problem. It's boooooring. And the color blocking is way off. Also the mermaid dress went out about 3 years ago. 

Claire Danes in Prada. What the fuck is this dress honestly? The metal chains coupled with a shiny purple textile is the worst! Hashtag hated it. Probably the most flattering thing on her is her husband. 

Lena Headey in Zuhair Murad. I feel so sorry for this designer. On the runway, his gowns are the epitome of fashion forward and chic, but he always has to dress people like Kristen Stewart or Lena Headey for red carpets and they just don't do his clothes justice. It's an interesting gown, it just looks awful on her. She looks awful put it that way. 

Taylor Schilling in Stella McCartney. Mustard yellow is never a good choice ok? This flowy ruffled backless...thing looks like it was made up from scraps left over from the Gone With the Wind wardrobe department. Epic fail. 

Christina Hendricks in I can't find it! But c'mon whomever it was probably went into witness protection after this. This is a laughable dress. And not to be a bitch here (too late) when you're curvy, don't wear something that accentuates that. She looks like the Chrysler Building. 

Regina King in again, no clue. But seriously? Did she miss prom night? I love Regina King, but the dress is awful. It's not chic, it's not flattering, it's homey and it's ridiculous. The beading is all wrong, and why is the length off? If it was just a white, sleeveless dress that was two inches longer it might have worked, but it's not. It's blah.

Julianne Hough in S&M chic. I thought she looked pretty, but the dress is really slutty I'm sorry. No I'm not. The top of it looks like it belongs in an early 90's Madonna video and the bottom is all wrong. It's two different dresses sloppily meshed into one, and she looks like she's going to an Eyes Wide Shut party, not walking the red carpet at the Emmy's. 

Taryn Manning in Rubin Singer. She looks like she's going to an Addam's Family theme party for Halloween. She's gorgeous in real life, but the cape thing that worked so well for Samira looks terrifying on her. And are those shoulder pads? For the love of god!

Zoe Kazan in Miu Miu. Again, this was one that I had a change of heart about. It's playful, I love the textile pattern, but it's not right for her. It would look great on someone like Nicole Kidman or Naomi Watts, but on her, it looks out of place and mismatched. She is not nearly sophisticated enough for this dress. 

Amy Poehler in Michael Kors. I'm so sorry Amy, I adore you and you totally should have won, but this dress looks like you made it yourself. Your whole look seems like you've given up, which you kind of have considering you've lost every time, but you can still rock it on the red carpet. I remember the Golden Globes. Pull yourself together woman!

Chelsea Peretti in Gabriela Cadena. Oh god, where do I start? Again, this dress is suffering from multiple personality disorder. It's hideous. I don't care if it looks great walking down the runway on a 5'10 model, it's a hot mess. Hate it hate it hate it. Can't erase it from my memory. #neveragain.

Gwendolyn Christie in blah. Nice try at being Emma Roberts. The retro 20's hair, and the paler beyond pale skin is all wrong. This DVF wrap-dress looking fiasco looks more like a high end hotel room bath robe. 

Stephen Merchant's girlfriend in whatever the fuck she's wearing has to be mentioned. This looks like sleazy lingerie you buy for your boyfriend because he has no taste, not something you put on to walk a red carpet. Jesus christ, cover up at least SOMETHING. Also, you're not an abstract expressionist painting just so we're clear. 

Amanda Peet in (again) Michael Kors. I totally don't get the whole almost bare midriff look. Kristen Wiig did it two years ago with J. Mendel and that worked, but this year, it's hideous. Peet is very chic regardless, and chose a simple updo and barely there jewelry to compliment this, but again the dress is wearing her no the other way around. 

Heidi Klum in Versace. Someone gauge my eyes out right the fuck now. This is a crime against humanity. As I said, yellow rarely works, and even when it's Versace it's easy to look like the inside of a blender after a banana smoothie. Heidi, we know you're a model, so you know everything about fashion so please stop experimenting. It's NOT WORKING!

Naomi Grossman in couldn't find the designer. I think he shot himself. I love AHS, I love Naomi. But whyyyyyyyyyy. This is not appropriate, it is not flattering. It's the 80's meets Jackson Pollock through the mentally insane filter. This dress is horrible in every way I don't even know where to start. Never do this again Naomi. 

Sarah Paulson in Prabal Gurung. It physically hurts me to put more than one AHS star on the Worst Dressed List but they totally sucked this year. Sarah is a beautiful woman, but this dress is so boring I want to cry. It looks like a reject from Betty Draper's wardrobe. It's trying to be retro but it's not, it's just well....nothing. The blue sequins thing is so tired, and I'm hating the off the shoulder BS. knock it off. 

Ok now blogger is being a little bitch and not letting me download anymore, but that's fine, I can't do this much longer. Just to bookend it. Some other people that totally disappointed last night were Anna Chlumsky, Porsha Williams, Lauren Lapkus and Nazanin Bonaidi, but you can google those can't you? Honorable mention for Best Dressed goes to Julie Bowen and Julia Louise Dreyfus. They both wore plain black dresses which would look good on anyone so only worth mentioning in the post script. 

And there you have it. Basically it was like no one even tried this year. I know it's not the Oscars, but c'mon. Stop wearing 'right off the runway' and figure out what looks good on you. And when in doubt, Valentino it. 

Blood, Sex, and Jessica Lange: The Beauty of American Horror Story

Scariest nun Meryl Streep in Doubt

I know I’m way late coming into this, but I really only binge watch shows these days because my weekends are loads of fun spent spooning my dog and streaming Netflix. I don’t watch shows one by one on TV like some chump. And since Netflix started streaming American Horror Story, I finally had something beside Lost re-runs or desperately trying to pay attention to the turd waffle that is TURN. I love to be scared ergo I avoided shows like that because I’m thinking; ‘how terrifying could it be, it’s on television?’ turns out VERY. I’m a full on addict and on the third season. Yay! My life is awesome!

I was always intrigued by the series considering it stars so many reputable actors including a number of Oscar winners; Kathy Bates, Jessica Lange, Gabourey Sidibe, Joseph Fiennes, Frances Conroy, I mean how bad could it be if the biggest names in Hollywood are flocking to it like a moth to a flame?

The premise is awesome. Making a show like this, you have to ask yourself, how do we keep this consistently terrifying in a TV format? We’re not Alfred Hitchcock. So here’s what the creators did; every season takes place in a different place and time and under different circumstances recycling the main cast into new roles. It’s bizarre but it totally works. Every season has a subtitle. The first one is ‘Murder House’ which takes place in a heavily haunted house in Los Angeles that an unassuming family moves into.

Don't mess with the Lange. She's a witch.

The second season is subtitled; ‘Asylum’, the third is ‘Coven’, you get the idea. Asylum takes place in the 60’s, while Coven is set in New Orleans, but what’s consistent (perhaps the only consistency) are the actors even though every season they play different characters.

Let’s move on to what we find scary. Me personally? I hate blood and guts, that’s not at all frightening to me, it’s gross more than anything else. I love suspense. Dark corners, unexplained noises, moving shadows…you get the idea. American Horror Story utilizes both. It is not for those with a weak stomach. It’s pretty damn gory. It’s also surprisingly very blatantly sexual. It doesn’t shy away from any extremities. There are severed heads, buckets of blood, naked men, a lot of simulated sex…basically everything that you wouldn’t expect to see on TV.

Another regular on the show is fabulous actress Sarah Paulson. I heard in Freakshow she has two heads. I don't know why or how, I just want to see it damn it. My god, what have I turned into?

Of all the bright spots and innovation of this series, I’ll have to give the gold medal to Jessica Lange on this one. She’s absolutely fabulous and this completely resurrected her career. She’s played a controlling Southern Belle, a lunatic nun, the head of a witches’ coven, and she’s unbelievable. She’s so frightening and enticing at the same time. Having her front and center every season was a very smart move. Also, at this point we know that basically every kind of story has already been told, to the point where we find ‘found footage’ horror movies actually interesting…ugh. Ergo, the show strives to be as outlandish as possible. It’s hard to believe in its campiness but it’s delicious. I’m more titillated than terrified and can watch it with the lights off…as I said my dog is usually there. Dear Netflix, please start streaming the 4^th season; American Horror Story: Freak Show so I can get caught up for the 5^th season. I only have like 2 weeks before it’s premiere and I can’t wait to see what you’re going to do with Lady Gaga.

Below, trailer for Hotel...

Below, trailer for Coven, the season I'm currently on and my favorite so far.