To My Best Friend In The Whole Wide World

Us back in the day.

So I re-watched yesterday's finale of Parks and Recreation this morning at work and realized something really strange. For those of you who don't watch the show, 1. You suck, 2. You'll know it's the one where Anne and Chris leave Pawnee forever and ever and Leslie and Anne have to say unbearably tearful goodbyes to each other. The end nearly killed me, I was bawling which is something I never do in comedies, so bravo Parks and Rec. 

But this morning I noticed something different. Leslie and Anne's goodbyes runs in direct parallel to me having to say goodbye to one of the most important people in my life; my best friend Dominique Lefebvre who has been with me through thick and thin, through all my poor and questionable decisions, and been not only a solid shoulder to cry on, but the warmest pair of arms that hug me. She's stood by me during my best moments (literally), and helped me up from my the floor at my most painful moments. She's a treasure. I sadly haven't seen her in a very long time, basically not since moving away from New York which was in 2010 unless you count our Brief Encounter (one of our favorite films!) in Los Angeles in 2011 where we celebrated my 26th birthday with a bottle of champagne, caviar, and Beard Papa's cream puffs like a baws. 

The three musketeers (our best friend Steven is in the middle) at our favorite go-to, Suite. A gay bar 2 minute walking distance from all of our apartments. Kareoke was a tradition. 

But there's not a day that went by in those almost 4 days where we didn't talk in one way or another, or touch base. So let me just give you some exposition on her. She's French Canadian, and now has to move back to Montreal this Sunday. But, because of Gchat, Skype, and Facebook, I'm sure we'll survive...and yet it's the end of an era! 

She's a filmmaker, as well as a lyricist. She is extremely talented and we met completely by accident when I crashed an MFA mixer before our classes even started at Dodge Hall in Columbia University's School of the Arts. Someone had suggested leaving the bar everyone was at and finding another one, and me having lived in NY for three years already, new the perfect place. We ended up seated next to each other at the now closed Cooper 35/Asian Pub (Rest in Peace) near the Bowery, drinking 4$ mojitos and chatting and then all spending the night at another friend's place. Since that night, we were inseparable. We got lots of teases for being joined at the hip even though we weren't even in the same department, and when mommie dearest came to visit NY she immediately fell in love with her, and my mom is hard to please. 

Freckles on her graduation day so pretty and proud!

But more about Dom, or 'Snickers' as I call her, which she hates so I basically stick to 'Freckles' (we're Lost fans, her name for me is 'Blondie', thanks Sawyer). Anyway, she is extremely talented, writing and directing as well as producing a many shorts during her time in Columbia, all which were brilliant. In fact, I've written about them before, you can find them here: Make Way For The Gossip Queen. I know that wherever she is she's going to go far and accomplish great things. Her tenacity, sense of humor, originality, loyalty, and creativity round out such an amazing person that I am so unbelievably lucky to call my friend, that I have no doubt that whatever she seeks out to accomplish, she will. I love you sister, and remember, that maid of honor promise still stands :) I'll miss you more than I already do, but I know that no matter what (as sappy as this is about to sound) we'll always be as close as we were when we lived two streets apart in New York. And in the words of our favorite band: Thank you for the music. 

Here's her website where you can see what kind of work she does: 

Dominique Lefebvre

And just for old times, here's something for you Freckles: 

A Feminist Perspective (Gasp!)

Feminism, why is that such a pejorative? Why is it scary? Does it mean that we want to castrate all men on the planet? Maybe...But still, there's no harm in examining media using the feminist prism is there? And why the eff not? Considering that most media, particularly cinema is an exclusive 'gentlemen's club' it's a breath of fresh air when we get a view of the feminine gaze. 

I'd like to introduce a website that my friend brought to my attention that does exactly that. Examines film and television through the feminist lens. Finally. This is not to say that they only deal with material like 'Girls' or Frances Ha (2013), or even The Hunger Games trilogy. They're going at it completely and thoroughly and providing a refreshing perspective from some of the greatest female minds out there on the interwebs, yeah guess what there are a bunch of those, myself included. 

Let's back track a whiiiiiiile. Back in the day (30's to about 70's) there were three roles out there for a female actress to play those being; the whore, the mother, or the wife. All were in one way or another secondary and in a lot of cases degrading. They either served as a support system for the primary male character or an antagonist to the male hero. Now obviously, things are different. Women are at the forefront of cinema and television, and not just in front of the camera either. From Kathryn Bigelow being the first woman in history to win Best Director for The Hurt Locker (2011), to (I hate to say it) Lena Dunham writing and directing, as well as starring in her own HBO series 'Girls' which has garnered astounding critical acclaim and a rather significant following. The march for equality moves on and is assaulting archaic and passe rules instituted on the media by the male executive, male protagonist, and male consumer.

The masthead. 

The website is appropriately called Bitchflicks (BitchFlicks) and focuses its attention on the entire scope of the media today approaching it with snark, sarcasm, clout, and everything else we women are best at. Also, let's face it, we might be the more intellectual of the species so it's important to read something besides Jezebel every once in a while, like something with say substance and value...ergo read Bitchflicks.

A screenshot of some of their material. 

A team of some of the best interwebs female writers out there is a breath of fresh air to provide a new skew on the feminine gaze covering basically everything; from Jennifer Lawrence to Ron Swanson. There has been a shortage of female voices, and no Arianna Huffington doesn't count, out there, and it's quite nice to see a resurgence of it. 'Feminist' may be a four letter word, but it's been four lettter words that have gotten us as far as we've come. Otherwise we'd still be sewing each other into corsets, being seen but not heard. And to be heard on the internet, is a good thing...believe me :)

The Only Good Shows Left On TV

Let's face it. TV has taken serious hits. If I went down the list of every show that sucks out there, this might be a blog worthy of a dissertation but just to name a few; no one cares about Mad Men anymore because the nostalgia has worn off and no one wants to see Don Draper in high-rise bell bottoms when they enter the 70's, Breaking Bad has also lost a ton of momentum considering it's just gotten long and boring and at this point you've taken a knee and tried to run out the clock. In terms of vampires, True Blood has just gotten a bit too much; too much sex, too much blood. It's like Twilight was chopped up into serials...or if there was a third tier daytime soap opera but with vampires. You know my feelings on Girls so let's just save us both time and not go there. And let's not even get started on Reality TV, the juggernaut that is backfiring like crazy right now. At first it was kinda cool and interesting; delving into that curious kitty inside all of us, then it became gratuitous, and now a days, they just make shows about anything until the novelty wears off too, even The Soup isn't funny anymore...I stopped watching ages ago. And basically most of Bravo and the E! Network's shows are tired. They are just scraping the bottom of the barrel with shows that actually have a hashtag in their title (i.e. #Richkids Of Beverly Hills). And after Phil Robertson's incendiary comments on the ridiculously overblown show Duck Dynasty, we can all agree that the well of redneck TV has run dry also. As for situation comedy, there's only one show that is still standing and has the Golden Globe to prove it. So here we go... 

Parks and Recreation, NBC. Still going strong, on its 5th season. It came out of the box so poorly with the first season being basically a throw away and was this close to being cancelled, but with new writers and Amy Poehler's tenacity and comic genius and Ron Swanson as the resident breakout character, this show has plenty more seasons in its future. It never gets dull, repetitive, or boring. It's everything a sitcom should be. 

Hannibal, NBC. This is a really seriously interesting take on the crime thriller TV show genre. It focuses on a detective who has severe mental and emotional trauma and deals with his solving crime cases in a very dark, morose, and existantial way. Not to mention the biggest criminal and focus of the show is based on one of the most infamous characters in pop-culture; Hannibal Lecter, and you would think no one would be able to trump Anthony Hopkins nor should attempt it, but Madds Mikkelson is a blessing sent from the acting heavens and gives new brevity and life to this format, and creates a psychological drama so profound it's terrifying yet beautiful to experience. 

The Vampire Diaries, CW Network. Unlike it's biggest competition; True Blood, it's an actually character driven show with great writers and interesting arcs. They aren't preoccupied with shock value and really nuance every story they are telling no matter how seemingly superficial it seems. It's a winner. 

Downton Abbey, ITV. This show received so much flack for being boring and too 'British', but at the same time it caught America by the balls and hasn't yet let go. Whether it be the Dowager Countess' sarcastic comments or reliving big events we never actually got to live through from the Titanic sinking to the First World War, the characters again, are that which matter the most in this show. Julian Fellows has followed a very important rule of writing, which is consistency. And it has paid off in spades. Without it's success in America and American's fascination with the series, it probably wouldn't have lasted longer than a couple season, but it's on it's 4th and going strong. 

Sherlock, BBC. This is perhaps the best show on television right now, and definitely in the top ten of the decade, easily. Mark Gatiss and Stephen Moffat have reinvented the entire Sir Arthur Conan Doyle cannon and done so brilliantly, appropriating it for modern times. You can see just how much they love the source material considering how true they stay to it. On top of that, they made two genius decision; stretching each episode to an hour and a half so they only have to put out three episodes a season, and casting Benedict Cumberbatch as Sherlock. There has never been an actor more suited for the role he's playing.

Vanderpump Rules, Bravo. I know what you're thinking, but you know what? This show is exactly what it is; an unapologetic view of some of the most hideous personalities that exist on earth, and it's fascinating. No matter how little reality is actually in this reality series, it is starting to trump it's predecessor; The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, of which this is a spin off. It's low art and low blows. It's silly and addictive, fabulous and nauseating. It's not exactly a breath of fresh air, but it's sticking by the principals of Reality TV and not taking itself seriously. Perfect example: Bravo decided to link the two shows and show the same party first from the perspective of the housewives on The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, then from the servers, from Vanderpump Rules, back to back I might add, and the latter was far more interesting, especially Stassi's impressions and Jax's comments. 'It was like a drunk United Nations'...priceless. 

Saturday Night Live, NBC. With the departure of Andy Samberg, Jason Sudeikis, Seth Meyers, and Kristen Wiig, you would think this show that will seemingly never die would go down the crapper and fast, but with the casting of Kate McKinnon, Cecily Strong, Taran Killam, and most newly Beck Bennett, Saturday Night Live has pumped newer and younger life into its content and is still going strong. Just because some seriously strong and valuable players have retired and Lorne has to now send out the bench warmers, they are proving they can play in the big leagues. And with the digital short concept no longer in play, the new cast members have found new and creative ways to compensate. Also with the female cast almost as close in count with the male, it's no longer the 'boy's club' and they've taken full advantage of that. Can we say 'Girlfriends Talkin' About Guys and Stuff'? 

Clips below:

Let's Compare Justin Bieber's Fuckface Mugshot to It's Predecessors

It finally happened, 11-year-olds and crazy single moms listen up. Justin Bieber finally got arrested for being world class scum of the universe. Nope, not for harassing his girlfriend Selena Gomez, or snorting comical piles of cocaine, or just being a general douche nozzle. It was for something pretty basic in celebrity fuck up land; a DUI. And here's his goddamn mugshot to prove it. 

Bra, you are not in a photo booth after a drunken night with friends in West Hollywood you are in jail and can't be released on bail until you sober up, what the fuck are you smiling about? 

Not going too far back, another douchy mugshot is that of Bruno Mars when he was caught with possession of cocaine two years ago, nothing to smile about, seriously. 

Remember this one peoples? At the peak of the Paris Hilton hate fatwa, skinny bitch goes down for driving with a suspended license and the look on her face says 'I dare you to put me in jail, don't you know who my father/grandfather is?' Guess what, she was put in jail, and as far as I'm concerned her sentence should have been to be eaten by wolves, just for inflicting herself on society. 

Back in 1999 sex on legs/Oscar nominated actor Matthew McConaughey got arrested for literally the coolest thing ever. Police responded to a noise complaint at his house and found him nude, stoned, and playing the bongos. First of all, that's a good night, and if it ends in arrest so be it. I guess you really don't mess with Texas, if you can't even get a little high, naked, and mind your own naked bongo business. Fuck that place. 

Along those same lines, 'King of Cool' and all around badass Steven McQueen got arrested for I honestly can't remember what, but whatever it was I'm sure it was fucking cool, whether it was smoking a joint in public, crashing a motorcycle or flicking off a cop, more power to you Steve. Oh and yeah, peace brother. 

And back to Texas again, this almost unrecognizable stripper turned best-golddigger-on-the-planet got arrested for trying to solicit prostitution. Have you guessed who it is yet? Here's some clues. Married a corpse, inherited all his money, got her own show where she was a hot mess every day, dead by 2007. Seriously c'mon. 

We all remember where we were during Hugh Grant-Gate. Picking up a hooker named Divine Brown dispelled this bumbly British guy's loveliness and genteelness. Hot of Four Weddings and a Funeral (1994) with Elizabeth Hurley at home, we all had the same thought; 'What the fuck were you thinking?' 

Ol' Blue Eyes got away with quite a lot but as a young Italian street tough on the unforgiving streets of New York, he was busted for carrying a concealed weapon, the mob ties thing came later. 

And let's cap it off with the queen of mugshots who's been photographed more often by Los Angeles County than by any magazine out there. And yes people, it's usually vihecular related, whether the usual DUI which is small beans by this point, to crashing into a cyclist/dog/pedestrian and leaving an 'Sorry about that' note on their bleeding corpse, to driving without insurance, to breaking probation, this girl has it down, if she has anything down in life, so I guess...thumbs up?

Watch at 3:38. 

Lessons We Learned From Vanderpump Rules

(L to R: Jax, Stassi, Katie, Lisa Banderpump (sans Jiggy), Tom, Scheana, and Kristen) 

Officially could be the worst show on television, in constant competition with Toddlers in Tiaras and Couples Therapy, Vanderpump Rules is really a terrible. Like we needed ANY spinoff of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, and in its defense, at least the women on that show are older, somewhat more sophisticated, yes they are swimming in money while the rest of us are trudging by struggling inside a recession, but every season there's a whole new set of superficial drama that actually makes it quite fun to watch. But this show has absolutely no redeeming qualities. It follows quite frankly the most spoiled, entitled, materialistic empty shells of human beings without too many brain cells missing that work at Lisa Vanderpump's West Hollywood hotspot SUR.

Now, I've been to SUR on occasion, and taken a few friends there, the only person from the show that I've ever seen actually working there was Tom Sandoval from the cast and that was ONCE. I'm starting to think that these people don't actually work there at all. Or if they do, they are actors pretending to do so. And the funny thing is, Bravo doesn't ever try to cover up that non-reality part of this reality series. All of them have aspirations of being famous in show business, in the dumbest ways if I might add. Whether it's a recording contract to being auto tuned, to being 'not AS famous as Michael Jackson but close' for whatever the fuck, it's clear that these pretty yet dumb-as-hell people aren't there just to serve and pour wine. 

Stassi and Jax, the couple that for some reason are still together even though all they do is fight. 

In the last few episodes, surprise surprise, the drama stems from a dirty little secret coming out about one of the pretty boys cheating on one of the pretty girls, and the way it comes out is the most hilarious of moments I've ever seen on reality TV, or on TV for that matter. Stassi, resident bitch on the show, and Anna Torv doppleganger decides to take the 'staff' to Cabo for her birthday and while drunk and topless in a pool confronts her ex, the selfie-king, Jax about a lie he's been keeping secret regarding another male server cheating on his longtime girlfriend...also a server. Draaaaaaaama. And if this show teaches us anything is that ladies, if you are topless, you can get a man to confess to ANYTHING...seriously anything. If you tell him he's actually a woman, he'll say it back to you with conviction. 

Kristen, in her signature SUR server's dress posing for a promotional still, but when she's a hot mess (always) it's not that pretty. 

Another lesson we learn is that entitled twenty-somethings living in LA playing chicken in the pool while 'average Joe's' as Stassi puts it 'sit behind a desk all day' make really terrible life decisions. Instead of the girl who's being cheated on (Kristen) just walking away with a middle finger out, she decides to stay for the weekend get as drunk as possible, and eventually sleeping with said cheating prick (Tom). And the other girls in the sewing circle get pissed about that, saying she has no self respect. Really girls? Weren't you just on television with your tits hanging out? How much respect are you retaining? 

At this point it's beyond me. It's a hard watch. You might want to be close to the bathroom in case you have to puke the last remainder of dinner out dealing with knowing that these kind of people share breathing space with you, but twenty-somethings will be twenty-somethings...until they hit thirty and then they'll still be twenty somethings...because after all, this is LA and you can stay as young, stupid, and irresponsible forever, and not only will you be rewarded for it, you might even get your own show. Biggest life lesson there, kids. Put down the PhD manual and run over to the Louboutin store because no one cares about your mind when you've got 6-inch stiletto heels and a plunging neckline. Oy to the vey. 

Finally, Here's My Best/Worst Dressed at The Golden Globes

Are you happy? Let's do this quickly shall we? For the most part it's not that people had on atrocities, it's that most was just blah, but that's because every one is saving their good dresses for the Oscars. And hopefully firing their stylists. Before we go on, there's a designer that made this list a few times. And I just want to tell him openly; Dear Prabal Gurung, your designs are hideous. I hope never to see your gowns on the red carpet again and they run you out of town. Let's start with Worst as always. 

Zoe Saldana in Prabal Gurung. This looks like the inside of a child with severe ADD's mind. It's a full on disaster. It reminds me of projects we had in home-ec when the teacher would give us like three pieces of fabric and tell us to 'create something' with just some manicuring scissors and some chicken wire in less than 5 minutes. 

Sanda Bullock in Prabal Gurung. Oh Sandy, Sandy. First of all, plunging necklines, you're too old for that sorry. Your shoes from 1996 are awful and this color blocking looks like this dress got lost between the leather bar and the prom. 

Paula Patton in Stephane Rolland (who?). This dress is the very definition of her husband's mind-blowingly annoying hit single 'Blurred Lines', and maybe she was going for the opposite of what the models in that video wear and cover up as much as possible and layer bitch, layer. She could easily be a Hunger Games extra. 

Jennifer Lawrence in Dior. The dress that launched a thousand meme's. Dear Jen, you are young and beautiful, curvy and pixie-like you could pretty much pull off anything, and you did so well with Dior last year at the Globes, remember that orange number? Freaking awesome. Stop trying to experiment. This includes experiments with your hair. 

Lizzy Kaplan in Emilio Pucci. What the fuck is this? The end. 

Lena Dunham in Zac Posen. I hate to hit below the belt here, but we all had to look at this so here goes...I had no idea Zac Posen made dresses in a size 16. 

Julie Bowen in Carolina Herrera. She looks like Mrs. Southern Kackalaky, 2014. 

Aubrey Plaza in Oscar de la Renta. Lavender and Fuchsia? Somewhere in West Hollywood a gay couple are missing their drapes.  

And now on to the best...or the most tolerable. 

Emma Thompson. I have no idea who she's wearing but everyone knows she's got Louboutin's on her feet when she threw them off on the stage. You rule lady. 

Julia Roberts in Dolce and Gabbana. Usually this would actually make it on my Worst Dressed list. She looks like a secretary from the early 60's, like she walked out of an episode of Mad Men. But you know what? Jules pulls this off. She's getting older and it's time to be a bit more modest, very smart and chic choice. 

Kerry Washington in Balenciaga. One of my favorite designers, one of my favorite shows, this is how you rock a baby bump on the red carpet. She's so damn elegant and looks better at 7 months pregnant than a head on a stick sewn into a size double-zero Alexander McQueen. 

Lupita N'Yongo in Ralph Lauren. She looks absolutely stunning in this interesting Tom Ford-Gwenyth Paltrow-from the Oscars-two years ago type dress. Very elegant, sexy, and sophisticated. 

Tina Fey in Carolina Herrera. The oxblood thing is a beautiful trend, and hopefully we'll see more of it at the Oscars. And for a brunette to pull it off so brilliantly and bring in some vintage looking bedazzling. It really worked for a fashion risk. 

Naomi Watts in Tom Ford. Tom Ford has never had a red carpet faux-pas, and there's no one better to carry a beautiful haute-couture gown like Naomi Watts. Blondes look great in silver. Are you listening J-Law? 

See not that many. It was kind of a sad year for fashion at the Golden Globes, dear Oscars please redeem us. And for the love of god put something bearable on Jennifer Lawrence so we don't have to pay attention to that smug smile plastered all over the screen. 

I Re-Name All the Oscar Nominated Films And Set it to Their Trailers

Jared Leto and Matthew MacConaughey from Dallas Buyer's Club (2013)

-- 'Explosion at the Wig Factory' Yes...I stole that from Tina and Amy, thanks girls.

-- 'Skinny Actors with Southern Accents'

-- 'Literally Anything I Rename This Movie Could be Misconstrued as Racist'

-- 'Pretty People Get Ugly to Win Oscars'

-- 'Joaquin Talks to Himself for Two Hours'

-- 'Indictment of Catholicism'

-- 'Somali Pirates Are Hot'

-- 'I Stopped Counting the F-Bombs'

-- 'Woody Allen Presents: A Streetcar Named Desire'

-- 'Bruce Dern is Still Alive, You Guys!'

-- 'In Space...Plot is Impossible'

From 'Girls' to Frances Ha, NY Girls Just Can't Seem to Grow Up.

Smoking and drinking on the fire escape. Definitely a part of my EARLY 20's, not my LATE 20's. Go on the damn balcony. You know what Virginia Woolf book this reminds ME of? None of them!

Finally watched Baumbach's minimalist mumblecore women-constantly-on-their-period flick Frances Ha (2013) and I have no idea how it's appealing at all. Greta Gerwig, although a great actress is reduced to playing a woman whom if I was in college with I would make fun of every day just for not having her shit together. Which might have been cute at like 22 but she's like what 28 in this film?

They still use words like 'd-bags' 'omg I love you', and smoke on the fire escape without the fear of it buckling underneath them and falling to their deaths. It's like seriously enough. Move in with your ugly hipster boyfriend who doesn't shave, make a five year plan, and get a mother-effing job. We're in a recession and don't have time for your menstrual bullshit.

Baumbach can write great characters, no one is questioning that. But can he write relevant ones. The only time that, in my not-so-humble opinion, in which he has done that was in The Squid and the Whale (2005) because he wrote about his own family and the struggles didn't seem pretentious and pointless, they seemed existential and sincere.

Even with a desk job, Hannah can't help from pouting.

Back in the 90's we had middle-aged white man anger and frustration, I guess today's trend is 'twenty-something New York hipster chick in limbo'. That's the giant cash cow. Lena Dunham's pile of Golden Globes is getting larger and larger and likely to continue growing after this Sunday. And perhaps I'm biased but ever since I moved to Los Angeles, I get seriously tired of people in New York who do nothing but to complain about living in New York...here's an idea, fucking move! 'I can't afford Tribeca/NoHo/Morningside Heights' then maybe find some job that pays more than 10$ an hour.
Oh and your ugly, good-for-nothing slacker, jobless boyfriend is giving you a hard time? Break up with him and join eHarmony like the rest of us, or go hang out at a bar near Wallstreet. It's time to stop dreaming and start doing. My life is hard too and don't get me wrong, I'm unhappy. But when I try to complain to my mother she tells me to do two things; 'shut up, and grow up'. (But that could be just her Soviet upbringing talking). Also, the most fascinating thing about a man should not be whether or not he smokes indoors kay?? 

After a while of Frances Ha (2013) I felt like one of those poor souls at that dinner party that she goes to that have to politely nod and smile as she talks nonsense endlessly and ends it with 'blah..I sound stoned, but I'm not stoned'. It's like thank god she's leaving. 

Dear Frances and Hannah, try living my life for one minute. Yeah, I might complain about it with a box of Chardonnay on a Friday night,  I mean who knows what I say then? But I'm not going to film it and pitch it to HBO...or to Baumbach for that matter (always had my heart set on Gus Van Sant myself). :P Anyway, seriously, enough. My ears are bleeding. Is this really what Gloria Steinem and the rest fought for and burned their bras for? For privileged white girls to whine about nothing for hours? Just remember what Tina Fey says to Noelle Welles portraying Hannah Horvath in the 'SNL' parody of 'Girls'...'You're 24? What the fuck is wrong with you?'.

Downton Abbey Changes Name to Sluts 'R Us and Saves the Estate

Lady Rose McClare have a gay ol' time.

We finally got the long awaited premiere of Season 4 of Downton Abbey here in the states after the shocking, and I mean seriously what the hell were you thinking Julian Fellows, shocking death of Cousin Matthew Crawley (Dan Stevens). For those playing the home game you know that the reason for this was because Dan Stevens is an idiot and asked to be written out of his goldmine of a contract so that he could pursue films which are likely to flop and let's face it Downton Abbey is the biggest thing to come out of the UK since Sarah Ferguson. You don't just ask to be written out of it. That's like marrying George Clooney and then asking for a divorce because you think you can 'do better', but you fucking can't so good riddance.
The incredible disappearring Michelle Dockery returns in her role as the now widowed single mum to their baby Master George (no doubt, named after the Royal Baby) and looks pastier, and ghostlier than ever. If I saw her at the top of the stairs I'd run in the opposite direction because that is a succubus daemon about to entrap itself in my head. But hey, we all have our ways of dealing with grief, apparently Cousin Mary's is bulimia and being dead behind the eyes. 

Spunky, posh, and blonde, she could easily pass for one of Prince Harry's girlfriends.

But nevermind that, there have been some new shall we say 'loose' additions to Downton Abbey, beginning with slut-in-training and general Zelda Fitzgerald wannabe, Rose MacClare (Lily James) the devil-may-care bouncy blonde who's come from the large Scottish estate we visited in the last season to live with the Granthams because her own family can't handle her anymore, and can you blame them? She's this close to having lovers crawl up to her bedroom via her long blonde locks. And there's no shortage of them, because this twenty something is always in the mood to go out and have a good time, she actually sounds like someone I'd latch unto if I was at Downton because she could save me from the constant and unwavering want to shoot myself in the foot just so I can see some color boredom. 

Lady Edith kisses her love in public. We must alert the church elders.

Another lady coming out of her shell this season, might I add, dull, predictable, whiny shell is Lady Edith (Laura Carmichael) surprisingly enough. Without the other two sisters to steal her thunder, she's taken the reigns of the feminine respite in Downton and is continuing to date her (still married) publisher in London, going with him to 'smart restaurants' and finally 'putting some effort' into how she dresses, and you know what peeps? She cleans up nice. I mean I'd hit that now that she's wearing lipstick and strapless gowns. But she soon might follow her love to Germany where he can get a legal divorce considering his current wife is in an asylum, long story...but you know what that means, she's not going to be very comfortable in the next decade. 

Edna Braithwaite, the new O'Brien. I smell trouble...and lemonface.

Another addition to the slut squad is Edna Braithwaite (MyAnna Buring) who as you recall was fired from Downton in the last season for hitting on the still grieving Branson....classy. This time she circumvented Mrs. Hughes AND Carson (not an easy feat) and went straight through to Lady Grantham (Elizabeth McGovern) who was in a frantic state to replace her lady's maid when O'Brien up and left suddenly (good riddance, did she ask to be written out of her contract too? Good luck, lemonface). Anyway, now she's back and there's nothing they can do about it downstairs, because she's lady's maid to the lady of the house. She's kind of above everyone, and she's made an important alliance with Thomas (Rob-James Collier) because let's face it, without O'Brien he's just not evil enough anymore. And who knows who she's got her squinty eyes on this time, I bet you she's going to try it on with Lord Grantham (Hugh Bonneville) who you know has a tendency to wander especially among his maid staff. 

On a side note, James the model/footman (Ed Speleers) keeps hitting on Ivy the plain Jane kitchen maid (Clara Theobold) and it's unclear whether its for sport or because he loves to see her doting around him and gets her blind drunk one night. Times are a changin' all over the place, and I can only hope that this season of Downton Abbey is saucier than every, I mean we are in the Roaring Twenties after all. Spice things up a bit Julian!