Elizabeth Taylor: In Memoriam

It's August 1950, a dreary morning at Lake Tahoe, California. It's a cold rainy early morning, and everyone is sleep deprived, stressed, and weary. George Stevens is pacing back and forth and chainsmoking, every few minutes interrupted by a script girl with a huge maniscript in her hands. The beautiful forest view is litered with changing trailers, power trucks, and various crew members. In the middle of all this, the fabulously handsome Montgomery Clift is nervously looking over a few pages, a cigarette dangling from his mouth, and his white shirt so perfectly fit on his body it looks at it was painted to him. Slowly he hears footsteps coming towards him, he's too hesitant to look up but the curiousity inside him builds. A set of two small black shoes stand at attention to his side, waiting for him to look up, he finally does, and he realizes he's not the only one. The crowd of gaffers, PA's, and assistants all stop what they're doing to watch a young raven-haired 17 year old make her first appearance on set. She walks directly to Montgomery Clift, dressed in full costume as Angela Vickers wearing a beautifully long and angelic white strapless gown and white gloves. She looks with a childlike innocence at her co-star and softly says. 'Hello, I'm Elizabeth Taylor, it's a pleasure to meet you'. 

While the gaffers struggle to pull their jaws off the floor not realizing that the vision standing in front of them is not the whimsical child actress from National Velvet but a full on woman with breasts, lips and eyes that ignited their dirtiest sexual fantasies. She would go one to be the desire of all men everywhere, and being a living legend notable for not only her career but for her many eccentricities. 

It's been difficult for me to write this, because where does one start with Liz Taylor? I guess start with the eyes and work your way down. She fits into so many boxes that I cover in this blog, it's difficult to decide what to focus on. Aesthetically, she could be the most perfect female incarnation ever. She's perfectly symmetrical in the Da Vinci sense of the word, with a stare that could melt the coldest heart, and a voice that is peaceful and arousing simultaneously. Why was she cast as Cleopatra? Well if we consider this symbolically rather than literally, considering Elizabeth was far from Middle-Eastern looking, the hypothesis was that Cleopatra was the most beautiful woman in the world, thereby whoever was cast had to be the same, and the most beautiful woman in the world at that time was no contest. 

Though genetically blessed from her actress turned senile stage momma Sara Sothern, it takes a lot more to be regarded as the paragon of the 20th cenutry woman. Sexuality as we are well aware, is not exclusive to physical attributes (listen to Sophie B. Hawking's 'Damn, I Wish I Was Your Lover) 

Ok back on track. What made Liz so special? 

Liz's baby momma.

Talent of course, for one. And a natural one at that considering she never studied under Strassbergs and the stuffy method actors of the actor's studio, nor had any formal lessons with the best of the studio coaches in LA. 

But if we look at Liz, and her picture came up in a veritable portfolio of women from the 1950's-1960's we could say 'oh she's pretty' and move on. What was it specifically that made us believe that George Eastman would kill his pregnant girlfriend for her, that Eddie Fischer would leave Debbie Reynolds for, and that countless men and women would regard her as the single most important face of American cinema?

Elizabeth had very simply put, a sexual electricity. It was so significant that it transcended time and decay. She didn't seem to have a 'sex-symbol hayday' she seemed to herself transform the norms of that status as she grew older and made people conform to her rather than fade away. 

From a whimsical 17 year old in A Place in the Sun to a sex-starved desperate Maggie the Cat, to soft but strong delictible Cleopatra (as flawed as her performance was), Taylor remained categorically unmatched in her seductive prowess.

Even as the obnoxious and seemingly repulsive Martha opposite her husband at the time Richard Burton in Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? where Liz gained 20 pounds, wore padding, and was made down considerably, somehow you are drawn to her. After all, she had 8 marriages. 

Out of all her husbands, I think the only one that was able to keep up was Burton, perhaps that's why they married a second time after divorcing. Liz called him the great love of her life. She also named Mike Todd (who widowed her after a plane crash in 1958), and Montgomery Clift who's life she saved after his near fatal car accident when she crawled into his vehicle and personally pulled his two front teeth out of his throat to keep him from choking. It takes some substantial tenacity and (for lack of a better word) chutzpah to be Elizabeth Taylor, and I think it's a testament to her legacy that she never backed down from her identity and owned every minute of Liz-hood. I'm really going to miss her. It really is the end of an era. She was not only an original but a fascinating anomaly in the rather banal landscape of humanity. If you would like to marathon some of her films, this is what I would recommend: 

1. A Place in the Sun (1951) 

2. Cat on a Hot Tin Roof (1958) 

3. Suddenly Last Summer (1959) 

4. BUtterfield 8 (1960) 

5. Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? (1966) 

6. The Taming of the Shrew (1967) 

In that order. And you must have a box of wine. Cheers.

Top 10: Top Model Contestants.

HERE'S SOME LEGITIMATE MASTURBATION FODDER. MY FAVORITE GIRLS OF TOP MODEL. IN ORDER. I'M SURPRISED HOW MUCH I ENDED UP AGREEING WITH TYRA AND THE GANG. TALL THIN GIRLS IN MAKE UP AND HAIRSPRAY. RUB AWAY.

10. McKey Sullivan
Winner, Cycle 11 

9. Ann Ward
Winner, Cycle 15 

8. Anya Kop
Runner Up, Cycle 10 

7. Brittani Kline
Current Contestant, Cycle 16

6. Nicole Linkletter
Winner, Cycle 5 

5. Raina Hein
Runner Up, Cycle 14

4. Nicole Fox
Winner, Cycle 13

3. Analeigh Tipton
3rd Place, Cycle 11 

2. Shandi Sullivan
3rd Place, Cycle 2 

1. Allison Harvard
Runner Up, Cycle 12 

Flaming Creatures: Mad Beauties and Glam Bitches

This film is exactly everything this blog is about. it is a seminal piece of controversial art by the underrated but super important contributor to the avant-garde, camp, and just film in general Jack Smith. I don't care if you don't watch experimental films. Do yourself a favor and sit your butt down for an hour and watch this. Firstly, it's notorious for being (among tons of other stuff) rarely available. Apparently only 3 or so copies exist in the world. Secondly, you'll be able to experience the birth of camp culture, drag culture, and what eventually became glam culture. It's finally available in all of it's raw genius on the internet, so do yourself a favor. Take an hour of your day to watch it. You may very well hate it, but you won't forget it. I have blogged about this film early on. Check it out for some early insight.

Jack Smith and the Manifestation of Sexual Myth

Here is the link to the full film, I can't wait to hear what you thought about it.

Flaming Creatures Full Film.

Strange-Love

Ok people, I know my blog is regarding film and television and other various forms of media (excluding Chris Crocker) but I'm making an exception here considering how much I love the grunge self-proclaimed crazy-bitch version of Marilyn Monroe, who looks like her corpse, and still refuses to apologize for anything.

I figured after my 'No Imitations' post about Marilyn imitators, I think it very appropriate to cover Courtney Love. In no way is she an imitation, but she's a kind of opposing doppleganger. Troubled, unique, and fuck-all about anyone else, with a big heart and oozing with creativity, I think the two women have more than just hair color in common.

Also, lest we forget, Courtney actually did act in a few choice films in the 90's, (Sid & Nancy, Man on the Moon, 200 Cigarettes and so on) and not too badly if I might add, earning a Golden Globe nom for her portrayal of Althea Flynt in Miloš Forman's The People vs. Larry Flynt (1996). So covering her in this blog seems perfectly appropriate. The once truly amazing doc show 'Behind The Music' that has in recent years completely sold out and lost its thunder is back with vengeance this season with the premiere of their two hour special on Love in October of 2010. If there was ever a perfect candidate for profiling on that series, it's Love, and a lot of us wondered why it hadn't happened earlier. And here's why; Love never ceases to shock. Every time we think she's hit rock bottom and is going to clean up her act (once again) she drops even lower only to rise every time like the phoenix she is. It's not like we're rooting for her or anything, we are just enjoying the ride. And not yet has there been such a thorough insight into her life and her completely convoluted and yet fascinating mind. It's finally on the youtubes. so Please take an afternoon to check it out, for everything we can say about Love, at least she's not boring.

PART 1 OF BEHIND THE MUSIC ON COURTNEY LOVE. 

Accept No Substitutes.

With all of the hoopla regarding the back to back upcoming features on Marilyn Monroe, (the first being My Week with Marilyn with Michelle Williams, the second being the ever redundantly named Blonde with Naomi Watts. The former is set for release in 2011 and is directed by Simon Curtis a no-name who's resume is exclusive to drawn-out Dickens adaptations for the BBC. The latter I might have a bit more faith in, considering Andrew Dominic is the director, known for such awesome underrated works like The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford (2007), and Chopper (2000). 

But lets forget all of that for one second, we know that these films are only going to be even considered for how the respective leads are able to physically and emotionally portray the icon. And therein lies the dilemma that for some reason people refuse to learn from. For me, I begin to physically hate the actor working on their best husky voice and lip pursing in a futile effort to mimic Monroe's habits and idiosyncrasies. And I mean severe hate. It's just such an overt display disrespect, it's almost sickening. Watch one Monroe movie, just one. Let's say Niagra, or Bus Stop, you'll see immediately why biopics about her are the kiss of death in the industry. Let's not stand on ceremony and weep over how she's such an original that could never be replicated (all true by the way) but it seems that those moronic actresses back in the 80's and 90's didn't even try. They just get their hair and make-up done, put on a cheap imitation of the infamous 'skin and beads' dress Monroe donned to sing happy birthday to JFK and wait for those Golden Globe nominations to start coming in. 

All in all, it's pretty pathetic. Firstly, you can put monroe-esque make-up on a chimp to get the iconography across and the resemblance off, all you need is some bright red lipstick, black eye-liner, and a blonde wig, but those three parts of the equation to not equal a proper simulcra, or even a 'spot on' performance. Academy Award winner Mira Sorvino was perhaps the most offensive in a long line of Monroe immitators, for the equally as bad film Norma Jean & Marilyn (1996). It might have been the worst thing I've ever seen in terms of made-for-television bio-pics, and that includes the horrendous torture fest that is Jennifer Love-Hewitt doing Audrey Hepburn in the aptly titled The Audrey Hepburn Story (2000) Yes...that happened. The producers probably figured, 'hey, she just won an Oscar for Mighty Aphrodite, and if you squint and give her the appropriate trifecta of lipstick, wig, and eye-liner, we could totally make a movie out of this.' And unfortunately they did. She ended up giving Monroe some kind of strange accent, and pretty much just flopping around whining and crying.  It was pathetic in all respects. After that fiasco, Lucifer didn't wait too long before striking again, this time creating something so horrific that it left scars in my psyche. The atom bomb was called (again) Blonde (2000) and starred Poppy Montgomery from Dead Man on Campus fame. Apart from providing her with a much cheaper version of the imitation trifecta, they just straight up made shit up. I don't think there was a single accurate story line in the whole film. It was just such a sad experience all around, I'm sure any member of that crew left it off their resume. But at least I was able to figure it out. These kind of atrocities inflict the industry because of the general public's thirst for sensationalism coupled with our intrinsic desire to understand the mysterious, and none was more sensationalized and more mysterious than Marilyn. But my god, couldn't have one person on that set done like an hour's worth of research? Even an hour's worth would have made any of these moronic adaptations a million percent better. 

Why is it all actresses are asked to stand like that and open their mouths just so? I understand how that's an iconic image of her, but it's a bit on the cliche side, no? It really looks like the picture that should be on the front of a Monroe Halloween costume. 

In conclusion. My advice would be to check out her last interview, it's very telling and saves you all of the trouble of fighting back throw up. It's on the youtubes, full version. Bottom line is, with someone like Monroe, it's going to be just far too complicated to 'nail it' (no pun intended). So given the history of her biopic assaults on pop-culture, I'm not too excited about these two back to back interpretations coming up in the next two years. Although I have respect for both actresses, I'm very very skeptical. People like to let clap-trap and sap run away with them, and leave the real story completely in ruins, sensationalized and revamped into a mindless clusterfuck of cheap melodrama. I'm staying optimistic, I'm just saying it's very hard to. 

Skinny Guys; Skinny Ties.

My mom recently told me that I'm attracted to men of the 'malnourished variety' (her exact words), and though I would love to disagree with her, given my track record, i think she's more or less right. Did you know there is a psychological study that states that women are attracted to men that are rather slim, sallow, terminal-looking, for lack of better terms. And lately, all of the biggest hitters in the film and television biz have been displaying aspects of the male version of 90's heroin chic. And if you ask me, it's very welcome. I'm tired of beefy, blonde, pretty boys greasing up my computer screen. Out also is the whole long wavy haired, unclean, bespectacled look. That guy looks like he wants to read you his poetry and then cry into your cat's fur for an hour. In the place of it, is a clean shaven version of the quintessential 'tortured artist' look, complete with an ancient pair of converse, patchy scruff (optional) and the pièce de résistance for geek chic wear; the skinny tie. This guy looks like he's into jazz, cooks, and writes comedy for a living, and that's the guy women really want. 

Do you remember a small movie written and directed by David Mamet called State & Main (2000)? If you're cool you do. There is a character of a doctor who has a lesson for Philip Seymour Hoffman's character that is probably one of the best lessons in cinema i've ever heard and it goes something like this (and i'm paraphrasing here). 'A man wears a tie to accentuate his penis, why would you take advice from a man who wears a bow-tie that accentuates his ears?' 

'Tis true, the tie is perhaps the most obvious phallic symbol that a man can wear on his body without actually taking his business out. And the skinny tie has dominated the male fashion world, lately being coupled with an old pair of jeans as if to say, 'i'm sophisticated, but i don't care'. 

Think of it, have you lately seen a beefy man in a skinny tie? the answer is probably going to be 'no', for some reason that would look ridiculous, like a blonde woman wearing white, it's just offensive to the eyes. The skinny tie should be reserved for those quietly confident and mysterious males who seem to ever presently hover between a whimsical boy-hood charm and raw animal masculinity, and are almost always under 150 pounds. 

The psychological study i referred to earlier, states that women are drawn to skinnier men because it ignites their maternal instincts, so that they have an intrinsic need to take care of them. And say it with me now; if it's on the internet, then it must be true! And given the big jewey jew that i am, that instinct is magnified by like a million percent. Go figure. 

So here are a few examples of men of the thinner variety who so wonderfully sport the skinny tie. The combination of the two is irresistible. 

New to the game, but making a very good impression is SNL's Paul Brittain, seen here sporting a loose fitting skinny tie which is even better than just regularly tying it. He's been making a great impression on the dirty screen, particularly with his Sex Ed Vincent character. Haven't seen it yet? well then i pity you. His ridiculously bright blue eyes don't need much to make them pop, and the hair is winning. 

Jeremy Davies has been in the skinny boy hall of fame for about a decade now, but he's reached his peak in the past few years getting messy on an island and never losing that now trademark tie of his as Dr. Daniel Faraday on Lost.

We have all been asking how did we not see this coming? He was such a sweet nerd in 3rd Rock From the Sun, and we all thought he'd reached his peak in 10 Things I Hate About You, but JG-Lev is surprising all of us, and found his way into our spank bank as soon as 500 Days of Summer hit the theaters, or Inception take your pick. He likes to couple the skinny tie with a vesty pants-suit, no complaints. 

Even though he works the hoodie sweatshirt and the 'fuck you flip-flops' very well in The Social Network, It's difficult not to take notice at award season when this curly haired ragamuffin started getting all dork-sexy on us and sporting smart suits and solid colored skinny ties. Win.  

If you watch Breaking Bad, the thinness of Aaron Paul is almost enough to drop your jaw. It's almost pre-pubescent. But he makes it work even in his character wardrobe which is usually baggy pants and hoodie sweatshirts, but when he steps out on the town, or on stage to get his Emmy (Bravo Aaron!) he cleans up very nicely. The tie is just the icing on the cake.  

Out of every beautiful face cast in The Social Network, no one expected Andrew Garfield and Jesse Eisenberg to trump the likes of Justin Timberlake and Armie Hammer. This British import is stupid hot, complete with a thick head of hair, large brown eyes, and a tall gangly physique. Whether dressed in wet spandex for his Spiderman shoot, or doing a Warhol-esque photo as the one above, he kills it with the camera...and a skinny tie.