A Way To Find Love Staying Home on Saturday Night.

Have you noticed something new about SNL? No, it's not the writing, or the jokes, but SNL has become one giant bastion of masturbation fodder. With a new featured cast beginning in September of last year, SNL has turned over a new leaf, and killed the sterotype that funny people can't be hot. (Ok i'm not sure if that's real or not, but think of arrested development and every time Ann Paul Veal is referenced and people say 'her?' followed by 'what is she funny or something?') Yes, I get all of my life lessons from Arrested Development. This is not to say that SNL is slumming it in the comedy arena, it's not bad, and the new talent has been able to consistently bring it every week and hold their own next to our favorite seasoned greats. These days, I'd rather stay home and drool over the cast than tipsy-flirt with three dimensional randoms at the pub. And here's a collection of those choice comedians who bring the fun, and the sex appeal. 

Andy Samberg
One third of the Lonely Island, the creative genius behind 'Dick in a Box', and one fine lookin' Jew, Samberg is not only hilarious in that charming frat kind of way, but also a great piece of man meat. (circumcised I bet)

Bill Hader
Since he joined the cast in 2005, he has completely transformed sketch comedy in SNL. From Vincent Price to Stefon the city correspondent, to Vinnie Vedecci, his comedic style is uncanny, and he's quite the intellectual hottie. 

Abby Elliot
The offspring of established comedian Chris Elliot, this newby though coming into the cast in 2008, still seems to be still finding her footing. She's the baby amongst the cast at 23, and her wholesome and sweet qualities are very pleasing to the eye.

Vanessa Bayer
This Chicago import is just amazing. She's a featured player starting her SNL  trajectory in September of last year, she's caught the eye many times, especially with her spot on Miley Cyrus impression. Hope to see much more of her fine self as the season progresses. 

Paul Brittain
Knock knock, who's there? It's the lost child of Montgomery Clift and Elizabeth Taylor, complete with a gorgeous pair of light blue eyes. Go ahead disagree with me that he doesn't look like either of them, but how much does he look like what the combination of the two of them would be? so much! Anyway, this newcomer is already on a roll with his impressions of James Franco and Johnny Depp. Smart and androgynously beautiful, it's a perfect combination. 

Nasim Pedrad
Forget Kristen Wiig, this Iranian comedienne has characters coming out of her ears. Even when she's playing a little boy opposite Bryan Cranston in that one hilarious sketch, she's still a looker. Petite,  exotic looking and funny as hell, I'm sure that Pedrad will go on to be that leader of this gang before too long. 

Taran Killam
Forget the weird name, this 20-something hottie is making his mark on SNL. In the French  dance-off sketch with Emma Stone, he wore a striped shirt with torn off sleeves, and we got a good look at his guns of steel. He's got a boyish charm, and his Brad Pitt impression is just the icing on the cake. 

Seth Meyers
Lets cap things off with the man who's been on SNL the longest, and now serves as their head writer/weekend update anchor. Blonde, blue-eyed, and sarcastic, his take on the news has been the best since Norm McDonald stepped down, and he's definitely been the sexiest suit and tie man covering Weekend Update since Chevy Chase, now that's saying something. 

Seductress Pick: Vivien Leigh

This is a character study on Vivien Leigh, one of the most profound actresses to ever grace the silver screen and my personal favorite.  Vivien Leigh is a very interesting character to consider. There have been many conflicting views on what she was personally as well as professionally. What I have found through research including documentary and biography sources have concluded to be contradictory. Though I feel I have come upon certain aspects of her personality from which I can write a cohesive developed character. 

Vivien was a young girl raised in an atmosphere based on mannerisms and everything that we can attribute to the superficiality of the upper-clas of England at the time (the time being the beginning of the 20th century). Both of her parents were not only well-off, but exheuted all aspect of the English upper class. 

What is most fascinating about this woman is her raw determination. When she first laid eyes on her first husband, a barrister named Leigh Holman, she bowed that she would marry him, even though knowing that he was at the time engaged to someone else. This is the same attitude with which she pursued her great love, Lawrence Olivier. When she first met him, a friend had to remind her that she was already married after she had exclaimed that she would make him her husband. The fact that he was already married to actress Jill Esmond was of no consequence to her. This could be viewed as profound selfishness and disregard for others, and at the sam time can be attributed to a woman's determination to get what she wants. 

What is an interesting question to consider is what was more important in her life. Did she persue Lawrence Olivier because he was a successful actor and she believed that they would mesh well together, or was she in love with him. 

One story is that she was completely dissatisfied with married life. Not only that, she was also dissatisfied in a home life, being a wife and mother. When she gave birth to her daughter Suzanne, she wrote in her diary; "had a baby" and that is all. Her biggest concern was her career. 

This determination led to her obtaining the most coveted role in American film history up to the point; Scarlett O'Hara in "Gone With the Wind". Even when she was an unknown English stage actress, she had related to friends that it will be her part, no matter what. 

This is what I would like to explore in my interpretation of her character. Nothing mattered but for rising to the top, achieving what she felt she was worthy of. Her first husband was in the way, whom she subsequently divorced, and eventually, her great love, Lawrence Olivier became "in her way" as well. 

The only thing that stifled her was her mental illness, even that she would not allow to stand in her way. I do not believe that it was her intension to be famous, to be a star. But I do believe that her indelible determination was attributed to the fact that she was so incredibly independent and saw greater things for herself than just a barrister's wife, a mother, or the wife of a famous actor. She wanted to be an original, and her achieving that lead to her demise in means of her personal life. 

Even in her worst state of manic depression, she remained a seasoned professional. She had undergone everything form psycho-analysis to electric shock-treatment, sometimes at the same time that she would be working on a film. Her drive to succeed eclipsed any pain that she might have gone through personally, and herein lies the paradox. 

Though Vivien was driven, she was stiffeled. The greatest thing in her life that was stifling to her drive was her mental illness. People who know her well recount how terrible her condition was. She would explode on people and be incredibly rude to others. Once she gained composer of herself she would take time to write to them and apologize. But regarding this, her focus was her career. In the depths of the worst parts of her mental illness she still appeared in many plays, working herself to pieces as it were, disregarding her need to get well and focusing on what she felt she needed to accomplish. 

There is a very interesting dichotomy between Vivien and one of her most significant roles in both theater and film. Lawrence Olivier called "A Streetcar Named Desire" "that awful play", even though he had directed her in it in England. He thought that the character of Blanche was so close in frailty and misunderstanding that Vivien was at that point and believed that it was her total immersion in this role that had completely had pushed her over the edge. 

Mad Women

Let's face it a show about high powered advertising executives in Manhattan set in the 1960's is bound to be a little sexist if not fully riding the chauvanist horse to its burning stable, and yet the women of 'Mad Men' (2007-) are the ones getting most of the notice (arguably, considering Jon Hamm has now hosted SNL thrice, and people suddenly recognize the name Vincent Karthreiser). But it's pretty much the trifecta, big city big boobed hussy Joan Holloway (Christina Hendricks), awkward and somewhat cunty Peggy Olson (Elizabeth Moss), and the incredibly delectable poop of angels porcelain goddess Betty Draper (January Jones). 

Don Draper was voted the #2 most influential man behind Barack Obama on Askmen.com, conversely it was reported in The Telegraph that the climb in breast implants demand is due pretty much entirely to Christina Hendricks.

Telegraph Article Here.

I think its safe to assume that women who watch the show are already by the second episode picking out which character they first are most like, and second want to be like. The answer to the first part is probably going to be Pegs, and the answer to that second part as almost always  Joany. No one can be Betty Draper, the dead ringer for Grace Kelly, it's just not feasible, on top of that she's pretty boring and stuck up. 

There are winey and catty housewives, sex starved cougars, and uptight stenographers enough to make their own satiric show that highlights how different those times used to be. Most of the other women from the Mad Men steno-pool are pretty much always treated with contempt and sarcasm and look almost identical, thereby are all rather forgettable. But if you're making a show set in the 1960's in New York, about high powered executives, there is a certain level of sexism that is unavoidable. But it doesn't seem to venture into objectification, or at least that which is unwanted. Joan's got ridiculously large breasts, they're there, the end, and her demeanor suggests that she could teach all of us a thing or 12 and can stand toe to toe with any of the smug office men and cut them down to size pretty fast. She's definitely the Mulveyian personification of the castration complex and she gets my vote. Now I have to learn to walk so boldly that people feel the impact tremor on the other side of the room, stuff pudding balloons into my bra, and speak so assertively and yet softly that men feel simultaneously threatened and turned on. Being Joan Holloway is an art, and a delicate one. Good luck all you Peggy's out there (including me)

Now that that's over, lets all vote for our favorite Mad Man, mine's a definite check in the box next to Ken Cosgroves name. I know that sounds generic, but I have to go with who appeared in my erotic dream first, and it was him, sorry John Slattery. 

A Little Hot for Heaven: Lessons from Hollywood Babylon

How to describe the book 'Hollywood Babylon'? (1965) written by child actor turned avant-garde filmmaker, Kenneth Anger. Well I suppose i can start by saying it paved the way for every single contemporary trashy gossip magazine. And I mean this as complementing an astounding accomplishment. It also makes you realize that no matter how many times Lindsay Lohan goes into rehab, or amounts of cocaine and prostitute Charlie Sheen manages to go through every week, what transpired in Hollywood's 'Golden Age' (1930's to the end of the 1950's) was so much more 'juicy'. It elevated gossip into an art form and exposed all the dirty little secrets that Hollywood money men took great lengths to cover up on the media.
 The book's cover is adorned with an infamous picture of Jayne Mansfield with her nipples showing, while inside there is thorough coverage of her grizzly car accident with even a more infamous photograph of her body post-crash. You may ask, why is this necessary and why do we need this? I personally am not interested in those tragic and mysterious deaths, but more in Rudolph Valentino's sex life, or Marilyn Monroe's pill habit. I yearn to learn about all of those details that remained hidden from the public for so long. When a movie star was photographed at a premiere or a Hollywood party back in the day, they couldn't be holding a glass of anything, even if it was orange juice. So it's not only shocking but titillating to read about how much boozing, fucking, and general hedonism went on a lot of the time. 

As you may expect, the book was of course banned and re-released a long 10 years later, with all of the scandals, suicides, and sex completely intact.

A lot of people are completely unaware of just how dirty Hollywood used to be. Sheen would come off as a priest if compared to the excessive wild orgies that regularly transpired at Errol Flynn's estate, or the weird kinky sex capades between Joan Crawford and second husband Franchot Tone.

Kenneth Anger's cinematic career when coupled with both volumes of Hollywood Babylon can arguably be seen as perhaps not the 'birth' of camp, but the establishment of it as a powerful sub-culture force. It is all very deliciously naughty, and wholly fulfills our craving to satisfy our guilty pleasures, with an emphasis on the pleasure part. It is pretty much the equivalent of a dirty film, except these are people we all know and idolize, worship, and obsess over. Anger opens the cupboard to all of their dirty little secrets, and that's what makes this book interesting even now that all of those people are long dead. 

Below is a 1970's television retrospective of Anger's experience and inspiration in writing 'Hollywood Babylon'. the full film can be found on youtube. The book sells for 2 pounds or so on Amazon.com

I highly recommend you spending your starbucks money on this.

Hollywood Babylon, Amazon.com