Thursday, November 27, 2014

The Definitive Ranking of Every FriendsGiving on FRIENDS

SEASON #1: TOW Where Underdog Gets Away (9th Place)

After quite the adventure, the 6 finally sit down to the first of their many non-traditional thanksgivings.
Monica plans her first Thanksgiving in the city and it’s the first time she’s cooking for everyone, but everyone has different requests. While watching the parade, one of the floats tears off and the crew go out into the street to see it firsthand, unfortunately when they get back, they realize they’ve left the door to Monica’s apartment locked, and the oven is still on…dun dun dun. In the end the group sit down to Chandler's batch of food; grilled cheese sandwiches and Funions. 
Choice Quote: 
Ross: 'Wow you guys sure have a lot of books about being a lesbian'
Susan: 'Well you have to take a course, otherwise they don't let you do it' 

SEASON #2: TOW with the List (1st place)

'It's always been you, Rach'
 After the climactic kiss between Ross and Rachel, the guys decide to make a list of pro's and con's for both Rachel and Ross' current girlfriend Julie, while Monica tries out bizarre Thanksgiving recipes with something called 'mockolate' a synthetic chocolate substitute. Won't that end well. Alas, Rachel finds the list, and refuses to forgive Ross for it. 'Imagine the worst things that you think about yourself, and the one person whom you trust the most in the world not only thinks them too but actually uses them as an excuse not to be with me' ...Girl's got a point.
Choice Quote: Ross: 'Can't we just use a pen?' Chandler: 'No, Amish boy.'

SEASON #3: TOW with the Football (2nd Place)

'Dad said no more football and he was sick of our fighting so he took the trophy...threw it in the lake'
While prepping for Thanksgiving dinner and watching the game, the gang is inspired to have their own. Only one problem, Monica and Ross are no longer allowed to play because of how violently competitive they are, but they decide to compete anyway for a troll nailed to a two-by-four called the ‘Geller Cup’ while Joey and Chandler try to show off for a Scandinavian neighbor. 
Choice Quote: Monica: 'Let go of me I'm a tiny little woman!'

SEASON #4: TOW with Chandler in a Box (10th Place)

'He's doin' something thinking'
Chandler finally tells Joey that he kissed his girlfriend so in retribution he agrees to be in a wooden box that Monica has around the apartment harkening back to when Joey was stuck in the entertainment unit while his and Chandler’s apartment was being robbed. Once Kathy (the girlfriend) comes over to break up with Chandler, Joey has a change of heart and lets Chandler out to go and ‘get her’. Monica dates Richard's son and everyone is grossed out by it.
Choice quote: Monica: 'Fine, judge all you want, but: married a lesbian, left a man at the alter, married a gay ice dancer, threw a girl's wooden leg in a fire, live in a box!'

SEASON #5: TOW with all the Thanksgivings (3rd Place)

If you want to get a guy to admit he's in love with you, wear a turkey on your head. Thanks, Monica. 
As we well know Chandler has an aversion to Thanksgiving since he was 10 and his parents told him they were splitting up. So everyone delves back into old Thanksgiving memories. Phoebe recounts a past life experience during the Civil War, while the rest remember a high school one when Ross brought Chandler his then college roommate to their place and he met ‘fat’ Monica for the first time. The next Thanksgiving when Monica loses all that extra weight Rachel convinces Monica to take revenge on Chandler after he called her fat the previous year, but she accidentally ends up cutting his toe off. Somehow or another it leads to present-day Monica wearing a turkey on her head to apologize and it works!
Choice Quote: Chandler: That's why I have 9 toes? Because I called you fat?'

SEASON #6: TOW Where Ross Got High (4th Place)
'Mom, dad? Ross smoked pot in college.'
Ross and Monica’s parents join them for their Thanksgiving in the city and there are a few secrets they are about to learn. One  that Monica and Chandler are dating, and two – the reason that they don’t like Chandler is because they thought he was a stoner in college, when it was actually Ross. This leads to a wealth of secrets being revealed; ‘Hurricane Gloria didn’t break the porch swing, Monica did!’. In the meantime, Monica finally lets Rachel cook something, but when making the recipe she doesn’t notice that the pages are stuck together and ends up cooking the infamous English trifle dessert with a layer of minced meat, peas and onions.
Choice Quote: Judy Geller: 'That's a lot of information to get in 30 seconds...'

SEASON #7: TOW Where Chandler Doesn’t Like Dogs (7th Place)

Lesson #187: Don't tell a guy you like him while people are stealing his car'
Phoebe’s been harboring a dog in her room now that she lives in Monica’s apartment and when everyone gathers for dinner the truth comes out. Chandler insists the dog must go because he’s allergic but then has to admit that he hates dogs to everyone’s dismay. Meanwhile, Rachel tries to gauge if her new smoking hot assistant, Tag is interested in her, and Ross tries to name all 50 States which is harder than it sounds. ('Maybe it's so hard because there AREN'T 50 states!?') As uneventful of a plot that it seems it’s actually pretty hilarious. 
Choice Quote:
Joey: 'If he doesn't like you, this is all just a moo point.
Rachel: 'A moo point?' 
Joey: 'Yeah it's like a cow's just doesn't matter.'

SEASON #8: TOW with the Rumor (5th Place)

'I said it was typical. Rachel Green, queen Rachel, does whatever she wants in her own little Rachel land!'
Brad Pitt (Monica's 'thin friend' in high school) gets invited for Thanksgiving in which he admits that he used to hate Rachel (oh the irony) back in high school because she was popular and he was fat, ergo she made his life hell. He later goes on to say that they formed the ‘I hate Rachel Green club’ with none other than Ross. Uh oh.
Choice Quote: Ross: 'No need to point, she knows who Ross is' 

SEASON #9:TOW Rachel’s Other Sister (6th Place)

'If you two die and the crazy plate lady dies, then do I get Emily?'
Rachel's spoiled older sister Amy (Christina Applegate) shows up out of the blue saying that their dad kicked her out so she could spend some time with the one daughter he's actually proud of (Rachel). Meanwhile, Monica is especially obsessed with her new wedding plates and as tensions rise between the two sisters that culminate in a full on cat-fight, a plate is broken, and Monica almost faints. But that's not even as bad as it gets...
Choice Quote: 
Rachel: 'I'd like to invite Amy for Thanksgiving' 
Ross: You know, that's a great idea. It's like when the Pilgrims brought the Indians syphilis' 

SEASON #10: TOW With the Late Thanksgiving (8th Place)

Everyone convinced Monica to make Thanksgiving dinner although she's tired of hosting it, but she loves to compete and sees it as a competition between herself and her past-self (beats me). In the meantime Ross and Joey go to a Knick game knowing that they would be late, and Phoebe and Rachel enter little Emma into a child beauty pageant (does that not sound creepy as shit?) Making everyone late to Monica's Thanksgiving dinner which she was reluctant to do in the first place. Hilarity ensues. 
Choice quote: Ross: 'I got robbed, and they stole my pocket.'

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