Thursday, March 6, 2014

Ode to Jared Leto

Adorbs...and flawless Ombre I might add. Better than mine. 
Alright, my blog has been rather silent lately, so let's just write some shit shall we? Especially after a sex dream, that's the best time to do it. Salvador Dalí and Luis Buñuel used to do that in order to make one of the treasures of Experimental Cinema - Un Chein Andalou (1929) so why not? Yeah, I just compared myself to Dali and Bunuel, I'm definitely sex-crazed enough. I think I would have fit right in with their trifecta at Residencia de Estudiantes with Lorca hanging out watching the Spanish sunrise over a bottle of champagne talking about art before Franco's revolution chased them out...ok getting way off track here. 
Let's talk about the obvious thing I want to talk about. The prettiest Oscar winner we've seen in a not Lupita N'Yongo, and quite honestly there's a celebrity cult around her and if you're at all on twitter or follow indiewire on Facebook you'll notice that every other post is about her, so let's just not even. She's awesome, good for her, the end. No I'm talking about the scruffy-poet looking, bow-tie wearin', mom-lovin' slice of heaven that was Jared Leto at the Oscars. I mean it couldn't have been more perfect. During award season, he was playful and at times borderline offensive, getting seriously scolded for his 'insensitive' remarks after winning his Golden Globe, but for the Oscars he really stepped up to the plate. And quite frankly I'm against the rumors that someone was paid to write that Obama-esque speech for him. There were tears in his eyes when he gushed about his mother, and you just can't fake that...unless you're an actor and you're really good which he obviously is, but still. Those were some real tears. Aside from that he had some good ol' fashioned fun. Whom else would you rather photobomb if not Anne Hathaway? She deserve to get photobombed basically every time she poses in my opinion, and Jared looked so much hotter than her anyway, I was embarrassed FOR her. He took selfies with him and the Oscar sign, and even participated in the silly pizza ordering gimmick, giving his slice to (again) his mommy. I was just melting. 
Leto as Rayon (light on the weight, but a heavy character to carry with him all the time which is actually what I heard he did during the production of Dallas Buyers Club (2013))
Most of us don't really remember Jared Leto since his arm slicing days in Requiem for a Dream (2000) considering he was barely recognizable in Chapter 27 (2007) where he played John Lennon's killer Mark David Chapman and weighed roughly 100 pounds more (I wonder if he went off veganism for that, probs). 
Considered ever the method actor, and always very dedicated to his roles, his weight loss and ahem...waxing for the role of Rayon in Dallas Buyer's Club (2013) was not the first in which he had to go a dramatic transformation. Poor man, he's been at it longer than Christian Bale, and doesn't get any notice for it like the latter does. 
Again, barely recognizable as Mark David Chapman in Chapter 27 (2007)....yes co-starring Lindsay Lohan, now acting opposite her is a feat for anyone. 
I remember him as the flannel clad, always strumming an acoustic guitar, pretty boy in the short lived 90's cliche'd series My So Called Life (1994 - 1995) and then maybe some easy-to-digest softy 90's films before he reappeared ripped and cut with bleach blonde hair as Angelface in the quintessential movie of the 90's; Fight Club (1999) For which I'm sure he had to really work out. I mean he played a mean fighter until Edward Norton kicked his ass. 
We all remember THIS guy...I think some of us dated this guy in high school. 
Then he was smart enough to work with Mary Harron as Patrick Bateman's doppleganger who gets brutally murdered by an ax in perhaps the funniest murder scene that exists on cinema; American Psycho (2000). But that's as far as I'll go on listing his credits, basically he took a 4 year hiatus from acting to focus on his band, all fine...but seriously Jared you robbed us of a good 4 years of material here. Now that we all know what you're capable of please don't ever do that to us again. And may I remind you that he was actually the oldest to be nominated in is category. He's older than Fassbender, yeah if that's what you're wondering only he looks like he's about 5 years younger. I guess all that Yoga and vegan diet does him good. I couldn't do it though...because when (not if) we date, I need cheese. Fancy, French, stinky cheese. It might come down to a Sophie's Choice of Jared Leto or cheese...and quite honestly I can't answer that right now. Anyway, again getting off track. Jared proved to us Oscar night that he is one of the best in the business and not just a pretty face that can put on or lose a tremendous amount of weight for a project with a killer voice, he's a captivating talent and also in a class by himself. You know me and my penchant for comparing contemporary actors to dead actors of the Golden Age, but I just can't here. Which is probably a good thing. Keep at it Jared...also call me.

Dallas Buyer's Club (2013) Trailer

Chapter 27 (2007) trailer 

Leto as Paul Allen in one of the best films (if not the best film of the new Millenium; American Psycho (2000)) 'Try getting a reservation at Dorsia now you fucking stupid bastard!' 

Music video for 'City of Angels'; off 30 Seconds to Mars' latest album...he's a Renaissance man. 

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