|Still from 'Radar' almost Kate Middleton but not quite. Nice binoculars btdubs.|
Britney Spears has probably never picked up a book in her life that did start with the words 'Chicken Soup For' much less read the Marx manifesto, but I'm starting to notice a strange trend in her work, and I'm wondering if it's just out of rebellion, sickness of privilege and entitlement, or she's gone full on Communist on our asses.
The trend started a few years back with the release of her single 'Radar' in 2009 off her Circus album, which was a triumph by the way. The song was a catchy weird melodic tune that alluded to someone Britney was non-chalantly pursuing because he appealed to her. The video however gave me pause. It starts out with her driving a Bentley to some English country house that rivals Downton Abbey and meeting sweater-vest wearing, shoe-shining, vanilla spoiled rich boy for a weekend in the country for some polo matches. How Madonna of her. She is dressed very appropriately for the occasion, she probably asked her wardrobe stylist to look like Kate Middleton but with a Britney flair. She sits atop a big patio and while vanilla gold-plate man tries to woo her by giving her diamonds (they are a girl's best friend), she keeps being distracted by some scruffy Josh Holloway from Lost looking guy who's gearing up for said polo match. I mean he's playing polo so he's not exactly a chimney sweep, but he don't have no mansion in the hills to entertain his lady friends. He's just a scruffy sweaty hot guy that's really good at polo. The next scene is the match itself and while Ritchie Rich is arguing about who won, scruff-daddy woo's Britney until she throws her diamond necklace (how wasteful, keep that shit, love fades things are forever) and they run away together. Ergo hottness wins over money...but you know, it's nice if the guy's got both.
|Britney dressed to the nines at the polo match but her mind is somewhere else, as she repeatedly points out.|
Then I saw this trend reappear when her single 'Criminal' started climbing the charts in 2011. Also taking place in England, no idea why, she's cast opposite her then actual fiance Jason Trawick who plays a tattooed, mean-streets biker, with a gun fetish who rescues her from an uptight British bitch of a boyfriend who insists she go to parties with him and act like a damn lady. I have no idea where this came from. Jason Trawick was a former agent at WME, he's not a bad boy people, he barely has a personality, but you know what, a few fake giant tattoos, some hair growth, and that crazy six-pack he worked for made him look like he would beat the shit out of a guy for looking at you the wrong way, which he does in the video. It's a Bonnie and Clyde-themed thing, they rob convenience stores and make out, like a lot, while she sings about how she knows he's no good but she's still in love with him even though he's a...say it with me...criminal. Then they kiss in a blaze of bullets when the bobbies catch them (that's British for the po-po) but miraculously nothing hits either of them and they escape. Again, giving up a life of empty luxury to risk everything with some guy you just met who looks cool on a motorcycle. Style over substance, I get it.
|Wait a minute, he rides a Harley AND has a gun? Jackpot!|
And now she's driving the point home with her newly released single; 'Work Bitch' (September 16th, 2013), fuck the video (which is ridiculous and totally under-budget for someone like her). The lyrics say it all; 'You want a hot body? Want a Bugatti? Want a Maserati? You better work bitch'. Yes, those are all superficial things that I want more than anything, seriously someone buy me a fucking Maserati, but still she's saying that nothing comes easy, even 'parties in France' and you have to work for what you want, and every time I drive through Beverly Hills I have to remind myself of that to keep from crying. I'm sure it's got something to do with the fact that she almost lost everything and is kind of poking fun at that. She lost things that were of actual importance to people like custody of her children, so she's being somewhat ironic, either that or I'm giving her too much credit here, but I think she's smart enough...yes I did just fucking say that. So basically driving the point home, Britney is telling us that this lifestyle that we all want (didn't you watch The Bling Ring (2013)) Oh you didn't? Yeah no one did) Anyway, this lifestyle ain't all it's cracked up to be. And the important things in life you have to work for...also scruffy guys on motorcycles are way hotter than a man who has everything except an interesting personality and a living soul.
Below the videos for the aforementioned singles. See if you can point out the similarities. It's like Britney homework. Which is the best kind.