Friday, July 19, 2013

Let's Just Admit that Benedict Cumberbatch is the Best Thing Ever

I'm tired of pussyfooting around the issue people. It's time to let your British freak flag fly high. You all know you are seriously hot for the man with the funniest name ever and a pair of cheek bones that could slice glass. Now that he's in Start Trek: Into Darkness (2013) even American audiences are going from 'oh yeah he's cute in that British kind of way' to 'I'm going to masturbate like crazy to him later when I get home' and 'Chris Pine who?' I was always aware of him but not fully online to the insane gravitational pull of the hottness that is Cumberbatch until I watched all 6 episodes of Sherlock back to back (yes I didn't sleep for two days). At first, I was just looking to be turned on to a new show and I kinda had a thing for Martin Freeman (don't judge me!) but then out of the shadows appeared a super tall figure with a tremoring baritone voice and British accent wearing a long grey coat with the most piercing pair of green eyes I'd ever seen. Hence my formal introduction to the great Benedict Cumberbatch. After that, I had to open up a huge fantasy file. I think it's actually thicker than all the other ones (no pun intended, well maybe). 
Benedict as Sherlock Holmes in the world-wide sensational hit Sherlock (2010-present)
Lately a bunch of people have been turning on to the wonder of Cumberbatch even going as low as to call themselves by a name; the everpresent Cumberbitches, and yes I'm a card carrying member. I will watch anything and everything with him, every internet meme in which he looks like an otter, every interview in which he's impeccably dressed and being snide and British with all of his snide Britishness and I'm counting down the days until the new season of Sherlock or desperately trying to figure out how to watch Parade's End (2013), and perusing Netflix for his earlier work instead of focusing on important things like a career, a relationship, and all that crap. 

Still from Star Trek: Into Darkness (2013)
So rise up ye fellow Cumberbitches and make your presence known. Not since Ben Whishaw have we had someone so unique looking and chameleon-like in his acting, not since Paul Newman have their been a pair of eyes like that, and not since the British Invasion of the 1960's have American chicks been so fuck all in love with a Brit in show-business. But also, back the fuck off because I'm on a stalking mission and I'm usually good at I mean whatever I don't know what you're talking about, but I will find a way. Where there's a will...there's a Cumberbatch in boxer briefs with a rose in his mouth waiting to ravage me...whilst remaining snide and British.

Some clips below: 

No comments: