Tuesday, March 12, 2013

I am Sher-Locked

You can investigate all of my dirty little secrets.
Ok, I’m just going to say it; I am head over heels crazy balls want to kill myself in love with Benedict Cumberbatch. As I drift off to sleep every night in a fetal position wishing a warm British body was spooning me from the back, I turn on Sherlock (2010 - present) on Netflix and dream of Ben saving me from international spies.
I know I’ve written about him before only very hastily, and specified the following: He has the most British name ever. He looks like an otter (there’s even a meme for that) look it up. And I think that’s about it.
So late at night when I come home I’ve been turning on the Sherlock and watching away. It is just balls to the wall fantastic. First of all brilliantly directed and adapted. It’s very hard to take work as famous as that of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s and re-imagine it for the 21st century. I mean look at every bullshit re-imagining of Shakespeare, fail, fail, and extraordinary fail. 
Sherlock (Cumberbatch) and Watson (Freeman) have a very close relationship. No sexual subtext, or is there?
But I would say that Cumberbatch’s portrayal of Sherlock happens to be one of the most captivating out of all of them, and this includes Ronald Howard and John Barrymore, and even Americans (well American) Robert Downey Jr.
I’d go as far to say that this is the best depiction of the enigmatic Holmes I’ve seen. It’s layered, intense, and puzzling…also homoerotic but we’ll skip that because it seems to be all I ever talk about. I discussed this after watching Game of Shadows (2011) (you can read it here Game of Bromance) regarding the relationship between Holmes and Watson so we can move on. I mean every film is homoerotic to me so let’s just skip that part. 
If Sherlock shows any signs of lust they come through in 'A Scandal in Belgravia' in the second season with the introduction of infamous dominatrix Irene Adler (Lara Pulver) shown above.
Besides, Cumberbatch himself said that he plays Holmes as somewhat asexual; too married to his work to concern himself with pussy. In a way he reminds me of Brian Kinney the Adonis from Queer as Folk (2000 - 2005) in that he shows no outward vulnerability or care for those around him and in fact takes pleasure in degrading them, but to those close to him that aren’t many, he shows extreme acts of kindness and protection.
He’s basically the exact specimen for the man I want to and should marry. British, mean, narcissistic, and dashing, with a pair of pale green eyes and chiseled cheekbones that could cut glass. Benedict, if you’re reading call me. I cook. 

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