Life is So Fucking Awkward.!

This is usually the face Jenna (Ashley Rickards) makes when things get awkward, which is often...obviously.

So last night after being bored to tears watching Roger cry like a bitch for the millionth time on Snooki & JWoww the predictable train-wreck spinoff of Jersey Shore (2009 - ), I was too lazy to change the channel when Awkward. came on. I had always written it off because it looked just like one of those many many many retrospectives on a pretty but ugly girl in the most uncomfortable moments in her life, and the endless awkward mishaps that keep happening to her for some reason...but for the digital age. At first, it seemed like the teen version of Sex and the City (1998- 2004) and then I was like, hold up - the main character blogs literally like all the time, hold up - the vast majority of her sexual hookups are painfully awkward, hold up - she narrates her life with passive narcissism and ironic self-deprecation. So she's basically me but 12 years ago (good fucking god I'm old). So my advice for Jenna would be - hang in there sister, it gets worse. 

I remember when my high school boyfriend broke up with me. I had on that exact same face/dress/pigtails. This leads her to have sex with her boyfriend's much hotter friend Matty (Beau Mirchoff).

...this guy. Yep, this one.

I think I've figured it out. The 90's celebrated the ditz in all of us, the one who WAS popular, attractive, smart but not really, and not weird at all, except if it's conventionally weird (which sounds like an oxymoron, but I'm making a My So Called Life (1994) reference here.) From Clueless (1995) to Saved by the Bell (1989 - 1993) the 90's celebrated the rich, conventionally hot, accidentally brilliant persona, while the 00's have given life to the disadvantaged, socially retarded, and yet completely endearing girl that television keeps building shows around, starting way back with Freaks and Geeks (1999 - 2000). But for all shows that have taken this trend to narrative, this is beyond superior. Yes, I'm talking to you Glee (2008 - ), and to you Girls (2012 - ), your awkward main characters just aren't making the cut, they're boring, stuffy, inarticulate, and overall huge boner killers.

If you're in your teens (first of all, my condolences) second of all, you are probably having much more awful sex than what TV dictates you are. I mean in the pilot episode, main character Jenna (played brilliantly by Elizabeth Taylor doppelganger Ashley Rickards) has sex with a guy at her camp and his penis slips into the 'backdoor' accidentally. Let me repeat that: His penis slips into the backdoor...accidentally. Usually you wouldn't even find content like this on your worst run of the mill soap opera, but there it is on MTV. So if you're looking for your TV filth fix during Snooki & JWoww hours, hang in there and stick around for Awkward. It's the best show you're not watching. 

Below the Season 2 promo.