Tuesday, May 8, 2012

Flesh and Blood: The Borgias Sex Up the Renaissance

Let's face it, outside of Mad Men, and waiting for Downton Abbey to wrap their 3rd season, we're all strapped for things to watch after we unwind at home. Unless you're into Ancient Aliens and Deadliest Catch, but I need something right before bedtime and I love a show with characters named Cesare and Lucrezia, torture chambers, and simulated sex by candlelight. So it was either I start watching The Borgias, or I re-watch The Tudors basically. I can't really think of other shows that take place during the reformation and involve a lot of gratuitous nudity, sex, and violence, and all in all, that's really all I'm looking for before my sleeping pill kicks in.
All I know about the Borgias (aside from the fact that it's my favorite coffee/chocolate/orange drink to order at Cafe Borrones in Menlo Park, CA when I visit my family in the Bay Area) is that they were one of those many rich families along with the infamous Medici who had close ties to The Pope that wielded power in Italy before during and after the Renaissance basically up until the point they started having Prime Ministers in the beginning of the 20th Century (feel free to correct me if I'm wrong, it's been a hell of a while since European History high school classes). 
If Jeremy Irons was Pope, I would convert to Catholicism in a nano-second. He's the hottest Pope this side of Vatican City and I'm not ashamed to admit it, though I'm probably going to hell for that.

Anyway, the show focuses on the Borgia clan made up of really hot guys and ladies who are always either fucking or fighting, or both at the same time. How this is not getting HUGE hypocritical censorship issues with the Catholic church I have no idea. But hey, it's on the poster: 'Flesh and Blood...The Borgias' So basically you can assume there's a lot of naked writhing flesh, and excessive blood and guts.
Oh and did I forget to add that the man with the sexiest voice in the history of all film ever Jeremy Irons is there too as Pope Alexander VI? I've never wanted a pope so much in my life. Also, he seems like his character is very good at oral sex so there's that. I am not making this up, don't shoot the messenger, this shit is actually in the damn show. 
There's boys in tight pants for the ladies, and girls in tight corsets with heaving breasts for the men, and there's lots of unnecessary violence and women having the most exaggerated orgasms ever. And apparently everyone bathes, showers, and brushes their teeth regularly back in the late 1400's. I had no idea.
New season premieres this last month on April 8th on Showtime, I'm only on episode 2 and I've already had my sex fix for the week. So you know it's a good time. Also, it's created by Neil Jordan, you can't lose.Also, don't confuse this with Borgia (2011) a series about basically the exact same people with a completely different cast but with even more nips. That you can catch on Netflix, but then again, Jeremy Irons is not in it.

Promo 'sneak peek' below.And below that, trailer for season 2.

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