Saturday, May 12, 2012

Can Pippa Middleton Please Go Away

classy broad.

Considering she's all over the British press, because apparently nothing else happens in England, I can consider this appro-pro for my blog. Nice move having the Rich-Boy Von Rolls Royce du jour you're snogging wave a toy gun that looked like a real gun at paparazzi. Very smart, and I'm sure not at all hurtful to your repertoire. We get it, you're the Prince Harry of the already dull Middleton family, the wild child, the drunk party bitch basically, but enough with the social faux pas. It's getting old, and it screams attention whore as well as new-money social climber. 
Just let your sister enjoy being married to the next king of England, and not have to worry about dragging your sloppy ass out of a club or finding pictures of your topless in Saint-Tropez. Nice move wearing white to the wedding BTW we still haven't forgotten that. Basically, stop behaving like a spoiled brat, we have enough of those here in the states, we don't need a British LiLo...or Snooki. Besides, she's not even THAT interesting when you think about it. She's like kinda hot (British hot), and she's got a nice ass, oh yeah we don't have anyone like that anywhere. And what is it exactly that she does? At least Snooki has a job mmmkay, she's makin' that bank...being a professional drunk whore but whatever! 
And we forgive Prince Harry every time he dresses up as a nazi or smokes a fatty because he's charismatic and interesting, either become both of those things or get out of our face. We're over it.
Or you can start dating newly divorced royal mess Russell Brand, that might work. You guys seem like you might actually complement each other, am I right? Not everyone you date has to have their own moat. You can shop off the rack if you know what I'm sayin'. After all, your family makes millions putting jelly beans and confetti into party bags. 

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