Friday, February 10, 2012

50 Years Ago, Someone Had Sex With the President Who Wasn't His Wife

JFK on a day off.
I'm going to stray again and not write about something related to film or televisino, though distantly it can be I'm sure. But there was this explosive story that hit stands recently when a woman who looks like everyone's senile least favorite grandma went on Today and promoted her new book which was released this past week called redundantly; 'Once Upon a Secret', which sounds like a cheap cheeseball romance is, there's only one catch, it's not fantasy, and it involved President Kennedy. 
Apparently when this corpse bride was an impressionable flat-chested dinky looking teenager she interned at the White House while JFK was in office. On her fourth day, she gets asked by the president's right hand man if she would like to go for a swim on her lunch break...I know, I didn't think the White House had a pool either. I wonder where they keep the S&M dungeon and the crack den, downstairs somewhere I reckon. 
Anyway, after the cool splashdown, the President took time out of his hectic schedule of saving the world from a Soviet nuclear attack and lured her into his private residence where she apparently lost her virginity to him that very same day. According to her, even the president with his Ivy league education and aristocratic pedigree couldn't avoid stupid utterances during sex such as 'is this ok for you?'. Thanks for ruining the sexual appeal of the President miss Mimi Alford. Next thing you're going to tell me was that he had cartoon kitties on his underwear. 
Mimi Alford at 19, the age that she was when she popped her cherry with JFK apparently in Jackie's bedroom.
According to Mrs. Alford, the affair lasted on and off for almost a two year period, which is so ironic considering how much flack we gave to Bill Clinton just for coming on a girl's vesty pants-suit. But it's no surprise that JFK was somewhat of a sex junkie, and this new tell-all is just a drop in the bucket along with a slew of women who claim (and probably accurately so) that they had long-standing yet unrequited love affairs with the Commander in Chief.
From the excerpts read on air, this really sounds little more than a book with a wind-swept oily Fabio on the cover, and now I've made you all picture JFK in a long flowy blonde wig with a ripped-open pirate shirt on hanging off the side of a boat. There's a lot of 'caressing' and 'tenderness' and apparently childish playfulness involving rubber ducks not in a gross way, which I have to admit is rather intriguing because I don't know about you, but I've always wondered what sex with JFK would have been like...I've also wondered that about Bobby, Ted, and John Jr. Sue me. 
On the whole, this book corroborates every similar story that preceded it, basically stating that the president was a bit of a philanderer and put on the guise of 'caring' about a girl just so he could have her at his sexual beck and call...why? because he's the president and he can. Rules have changed since then, and if any of those girls went to the press with a mysterious stain on her person I'm sure it would have been her that would be ruined rather than what happened with Clinton. 
Long story short, the book is not professionally written, nor is it really a tell-all, or any great revelation. It's basically 'hey guys, I slept with JFK' and our collective response is 'yeah who hasn't?' When I read it I just hope it's more sordid and filthy than what I have been able to preview watching her interviews.

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