Who’s The Biggest Pervert on Arrested Development?

(Warning: Contains endless Arrested Development quotes) Let’s see, what do I do with my time? Like what do I watch how do I keep current? Well since I have a job (It’s something you apply for, and they pay you…) I only have about a couple hours a day. One in the morning when I wake up and get ready, and one in the evening when I get home. After I work out, and before I shower and eventually crash. So I leave those time slots open for my current sick obsession with everything Benedict Cumberbatch, so I’m watching Sherlock (2010 - Present), which I’ve already blogged about, so douche chill…

The only other show I watch is of course The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills (2009 - Present) because it makes me feel better about myself, though I have to watch it through a hole I cut in a paper plate because of all the HD shiny. As you know, I blog a shit ton about that show as well. So basically outside my office, I have those two things to tell me about the world around me. Skinny blonde bitches in Loubitins and ridiculously complicated and convoluted crimes in England that I’m too stupid to almost follow. But instead of silently saying a prayer that they combine the two shows and have one of the housewives found in a pool of her own blood  (I can’t say which one because ‘that’s a lawsuit’ but we all know who I mean) with Benedict standing above her saying something smug and demeaning, I’ll get back and go full circle (ugh, mixing metaphors) to the show I’ve loved the absolute most since it entered my muddy world and made it beautiful back in 2003; Arrested Development, which Netflix had the wherewithall to renew for a season showing exclusively on their website (Them?)

They’ve basically told everyone else to fuck off, even if it means them taking a chubby, they will suck it up. Now, let’s get out of our excited-as-fuck skirt and put on our thought-process Barbara Streisand in the Prince of Tides ass-masking pants suit.

I mean this is huge. The show was cancelled almost 7 years ago and we STILL talk about it. It’s probably the biggest hit cult series there is, and FOX execs are pieces of shit. I’m sorry, but you are. But let’s not dwell on our anger. I want to go through that beautiful magic of the first three seasons and decide finally who is the biggest perv of the series. And I’ll tell you one thing, it’s probably not who you’re thinking. 

You’re thinking GOB because he dates whores, underage girls, and throws freezing cold water over the shirts of his entirely female baseball team and almost always makes an impromptu sexual innuendo when speaking, but it’s not. That’s just part of his adorably ridiculous character, that even I’ve grown to love. 

Tobias' acting resume headshots

Next, you’re probably thinking it’s Tobias, because literally everything that comes out of his mouth is a sexual reference of some sort, usually attributed to the ‘is Tobias gay question’ that always lingers in the background. But hey, you didn’t get any body chocolate, and actually that’s not even his major arc so no dice on that one.

Then we have the idiot somewhat savant-ish brother Buster, who is one hell of a freak. He comes home sometimes at 7, 8 at night, peanut brittle on his breath, and builds pillow forts with Liza Minelli. I mean he’s a fraaaak. But he’s completely clueless. Remember when he was dating Michael’s rabid assistant and terrified when she wanted to take things to the next level? Mother complex or not, he’s an innocent. 

'my own brother...Michael'

Then of course we have Michael. The hopeless romantic who’s ‘sensitive like a woman’, and just can’t help himself when it comes to a gal with a giggly smile and a pair of soft blue eyes, the lack of sex with which would make anyone crave a 15$ thing of candy beans. But it is his romanticism that crosses him off the perv ladder, because all he’ll ever do to you in bed is hold you close and whisper shit in your ear and you’d get bored if not for the wondrous adorable-ness of him.

If you were thinking Lucille all along, then ding ding ding. You’ve won the grand prize, which is respect from me. Think of it, she’s the classic pervert, more so than any of the men in her life put together. She seduced not only George Sr. but his brother Oscar, and can basically make them do anything she wants (More touching!). She likes to go ‘downtown’ and being ‘lied on’ rather than ‘lied to’.  And that wink of hers could be the most perverted thing I’ve ever seen, but at least we don’t have to ‘say goodbye to these because it’s the last time!!!’ because I have no doubt we’ll be seeing them on Netflix soon enough. Now get me a Vodka rocks. But it’s breakfast? And a piece of toast. 

Her?

Honorable mention goes to: Kitty, George’s fiercely loyal assistant, Maeby for her obsession with idiot Steve Holt and unabashed attraction to her own cousin, Marla Michael’s assistant who was bitten by a rabid dog and has a cryptic attachment to Quincy Jones, and of course, Lucille II…because it’s Liza and that’s all I need. I leave you with the best of...

 

What Comes After Hipsters?

If we wore these unironically, they could double as reading glasses.

Well I guess we have to start answering that question with another question, which is; what determines culture? In this technologically dependent world of the new millennium culture is dependent on the following in order of importance; television, Internet, music, film, and finally fashion.  

It didn’t always used to be that way, the order was completely diversified and whatever was the new fad would take over for a while, but television has a level of constancy which I hate to (love to) allude back to Warhol when he said; everything will go, books will go, films will go, television will stay. He also said (lest we forget) [that] ‘in the future, everyone will be famous for 15 minutes’. And if we look at what television has allotted us, it is exactly that. The big revolution in television is the reality juggernaut, which allows nobodies to be somebodies for 15 minutes, just for as long as they’re interesting. 

Adele is a perfect example of reversal of hipster culture and return to nostalgia for how things used to be and how things used to sound in particular.

This is key to the hipster sect because young people we call as ‘millenials’ following generation Y (my generation) have an attention span of a worker ant. Therefore, things only exist for them for no longer than 15 minutes. Bands become popular and unpopular in short spans of time, as do fashion fads, shows, etc. Just like Hipster-skewering show ‘Portlandia’ (2011 – present) parodied; ‘something something is OVER!’ 

(Still from 'Portlandia') It's all OVER!

 So if this is all to be true, then the hipsters are running out of time on their 15-minute meter, and who’s to take over? I remember a film from the 30’s, a beautiful piece of art called The Petrified Forest (1938) starring Humphrey Bogart, Bette Davis, and Leslie Howard where Leslie plays what he refers to as ‘one of a dying breed – the intellectuals’.  I do hope that this is the time for their resurrection. 

Leslie Howard plays the prophetic intellectual who stumbles across a crime set-up in The Petrified Forest (1938), desperate to leave some of his dying legacy behind, which never comes to fruition. His outfit is now worn ironically.

If you look at trends in the media, which as I earlier mentioned dictate popular culture of the moment, it seems that my predictions might be true. People have grown to be more meditative and concerned. Films like Argo (2013) and shows like 'Downton Abbey' (2010 – Present) dominate in accolades and awards, reflecting that our culture is ready for more serious reflection and thought processes. Also instituting a dreamy nostalgia indicating that we’re not exactly amused by our own times anymore. 

The enormously successful 'Downton Abbey' has become a pop-culture institution unto itself, quite unexpectedly strangely enough.

No one wants to be a culture that people look back at with cynical laughter and resentment like we do to the hippies of the ‘60’s, so let’s look forward and strive to not be dictated by pop culture but to define it.

Good god that was serious, now I have to bath in sin, excuse me.

Harmony Korine vs. Sofia Copolla

Emma Watson stars as the 'ring leader' in The Bling Ring (2013)

With Spring Breakers (2013) on top of the box office charts in its first week of release, and The Bling Ring (2013) slated to be Sofia Copolla's most interesting film yet in a sea of non-interesting bullshit fluff, one has to compare the two considering the subject matters are extremely similar thematically. 

Both concern bright young things with 'a talent for living' who are not shall we say well-off but not necessarily starving either and go on crime sprees if for no better reason than that they're bored. 

In Spring Breakers, the motivation is to find sufficient funds to keep the beer flowing and the bikinis off for an endless spring break that leads to violence and murder, while in The Bling Ring, a bunch of spoiled brats from Beverly Hills decide to rob other rich peoples homes if for nothing more than attention, which they got. They even made a show about it which aired on E! called 'Pretty Wild'. Needless to say, it didn't do so well. 

Beautiful still from Spring Breakers (2013)

The motivation of crime for crime's sake stretches way back to the times of the infamous Leopold and Loeb case where two rich lovers decided to kill a young boy believing themselves to be personifications of the Nietzscheian 'Superman', killers without consequence, those who do the crime without ever considering of doing the time, just to see if they could get away with it, and more often than not, they can't. 

In both films the characters are hipstery brats that have nothing better to do with time, and we love to hate their careless abandon but also embrace it as we live vicariously through them for a little under 2 hours. 

The members of the so-called Bling Ring and co-starring skinny jeans.

Both of these themes run parallel in the stories of both films, so the question becomes who will be the more outrageous. Clearly, my money's on Korine. I love the man, and if you've ever watched any of his films he's one step away from pure Vincent Gallo-esque outrageousnous.

Sofia on the other hand, has always been close but no cigar. Her films almost have a point, and then they don't. It's just about sad and lonely people in a world that doesn't understand them and....snore. 

But I have to give her at least some credit, after watching the trailer for The Bling Ring, I was almost impressed. The Sleigh Bells playing in the background was also helpful, and it looks rather accurate if it's actually based on the facts which her prior film Marie Antoinette (2005) was certainly not. 

Haromony Korine, one of our generation's greatest auteurs.

Therefore we have to think of these films as a series in the portfolio of auteurs, and for Korine, this definitely fits in with his repertoire. Drugs, sex, violence, and everything bizarre have always been the corner stone of his content, and what he's able to do with it so brashly and apologetically is nothing short of art. If The Bling Ring (2013) is to be taken seriously, and looks like it's going to be, it's going to have some serious shoes to fill. The film needs to be sardonic, contemptible, fanatical, and tawdry, all in the best way imaginable. It needs to be filthy like Korine, or it will be just as forgettable as all her other endeavors, so I guess Sofia, I wish you luck. You'll need it.

Official trailer for The Bling Ring (2013)

Official trailer for Spring Breakers (2013)

An excerpt from 'Pretty Wild' the show about the girls who started the bling ring, featuring ring leader Alexis Neiers.

Justin Timberlake: Actor, Singer, Dancer, Comedian, Sex God

My friend once told me right after The Social Network (2010) was released that Justin Timberlake was the greatest post-modern actor at this time, and though I didn’t exactly get what he was talking about and how that was true, I totally do now. But there’s another word I would use to describe him; Renaissance man.

He is like an old-timey singer/dancer under contract to MGM. He’s Gene Kelly with looser pants and killer swagger. We knew him as that slightly annoying girly-sounding, awful white-boy fro 1/5 of pop titans ‘N Sync, and now he’s an institution unto himself.

Lorne Michaels caught on to his comedic talents early on when 'N Sync first appeared in a sketch back in 2003 when they played an offshoot of themselves, and when he decided to ditch the back up singers and fly solo, writing from the depths of his heart about his break up with pop princess Britney Spears in the juggernaut song ‘Cry Me a River’, it was cemented; Timberlake had arrived. 

JT in his signature three piece suit on the cover of GQ

He also knew how to utilize style. Considering how influenced he was by hip hop, it would have been ridiculous if he came on stage in baggy pants, a Hilfiger puff jacket and a sideways cap being all ‘yo yo yo, Timberlake in the house!’, not that that’s how all hip hop artists are, I’m just making a point. He trademarked the three-piece suit and fedora dressing like a 30’s gangster and dancing like Fred Astaire, Michael Jackson, and Michael Kidd had a baby. And if you don’t know who Michael Kidd is well then you suck.

With perhaps the most ill-fitting named album ever ‘Future Sex/Love Sounds’ dominating the charts, Lorne Michaels invites Timberlake back to host his own episodes of SNL and last week he became a card carrying member of the 5-times host club, and he’s only 32 people. He found a stellar bromance with repertory player Andy Samberg and together they created some of the most memorable digital shorts of SNL’s entire history. You know them all so it’s redundant to list them one by one.

Justin Timberlake in one of his funniest sketches on SNL, playing Beyonce's back up dancer for her video 'Single Ladies'.

Then what happens? He tackles the only other industry left for him to dominate; the film industry, and boy does he. Yes of course it’s expected of him to be almost effortless in feather light romantic comedies, like an edgier Rock Hudson, but it was when The Social Network came out that we really got to see what he was made of. And one only has to ask, what’s next for JT? The man who can basically do everything? I say he hosts next year’s Academy Awards, or perhaps even gets nominated. He’s slated to star opposite Ben Affleck and Gemma Arterton in Runner Runner (2013) coming out next year, and after that he’s going to play an alcoholic in The Last Drop (2013), perhaps proving to us all that the effeminate soprano from a 90’s fad boy-band has grown leaps and bounds into a pop-culture institution that we can all appreciate. 

As Sean Parker in The Social Network (2010)

PS His new album (released today) is fucking awesome. I guess that was the whole point of this post. 

 PPS, all of his best footage i posted to my Filth Screen facebook page so it's again redundant to give you any more visual pleasure. You can find them here. Filth Screen on Facebook. 

So I'll just leave you with his video for 'Suit and Tie' complete with his Target commercial. Enjoy! 

Ode to Joan Crawford

As some of you know, I'm writing a play about Joan Crawford, not particularly to dislodge all of the 'wire hangers' rumors or discredit her daughter Christina's novel 'Mommie Dearest' which for all of it's sincerity was highly and almost comically sensationalized. 

I want (for some reason) to help people know and appreciate Crawford for who she was, and that was the 'ultimate movie star'. I'm sure that when the term was being coined, she was whom they thought of first. Not only was she a consummate professional studying constantly, taking allocation lessons, losing and gaining weight for roles before it was a thing, and even know which eye to cry out of when she needed to for a scene, but as an iconic figure head of old Hollywood, she's one of the most recognizable. She only won one Oscar, but had always stuck to her guns. She played the game until she could play it by her own rules and that's what makes her unique. 

Joan Crawford the flapper under contract at MGM

Aside from the alcoholism, obsessive behavior, abusiveness, chronic infidelities and other personal bullshit, Joan was a true professional, and completely focused, which is exactly how she became what she became. All that other stuff lead to her eventual downfall, but if anyone had a good run and fought the good fight it was her. 

Although she was married four times, she said that the love of her life was ultimately someone she never exchanged vows with; the very Catholic-bound to his marriage Clark Gable. They were too much alike, both from poor obscure families who came to Hollywood when no one would take them seriously and people had to fish their headshots out of the extras pile. They never gave up and before they knew it they were Hollywood gods, having quickies in dressing rooms between takes. They did 5 films together, but the relationship unfortunately dissolved. Gable's wife wouldn't give him a divorce and Joan was too obsessed with herself to care. 

Joan and Gable always had great chemistry on film. Wasn't hard when the two were in love behind the cameras as well.

Here's another thing you might not have known, Joan was bisexual. One of her most famous conquests was Marilyn Monroe, 22 years her junior, whom she incessantly hit on usually in a drunken stupor when Marilyn would spend the night at her Brentwood mansion, and for some reason Marilyn eventually decided to reject her advances, perhaps because she was not her type, or perhaps because Joan was kind of scary at that point, who knows. Anyway, can you only imagine how hot that would be? 

I love Joan because she adapted to every single thing asked of her. She started in Hollywood as a contracted dancer, not an actress, and appeared as a chorus extra in mid-level films where she was nearly unrecognizable. But with limitless drive and determination she learned everything about the business and made friends with the right people until she was number one on her studio boss' L.B. Mayer's list for his next projects. By the time she had achieved that, she had come into what people like to refer to as her 'face' that very recognizable look of the giant eyes, exaggerated eye-brows, and those crazy lips which Max Factor invented calling it 'the smear'. By the time she was declared box-office poison from playing too many shop girls who make good but still manage to wear designer gowns, she decided to keep fighting and told her boss L.B. 'no more goddamn shopgirls'. After that they fought over parts and she was one of the first to move out of her studio and fly solo. Back then, a hugely risky move, but it payed off because rival to MGM (where she got her start), Warner Bros. was inclined to hire her for a little project sitting on the shelf for two years called Mildred Pierce (1945) which one her her first and only Academy Award. 

Joan Crawford still gorgeous in her 40's in Mildred Pierce (1945)

At that point, she was close to mid-40's herself, a battle year for any actress, but she decided to reinvent herself again; had her teeth recapped, cut her hair short, and wore mannish clothing, making herself into some kind of warrior identity which worked perfectly for Nicholas Ray's Johnny Guitar (1954).

Basically after that, it was a slow decline, but the legacy was cemented. That is of course until her adopted daughter Christina wrote a scathing tell-all called 'Mommie Dearest' and tarnished Joan's reputation forever. No one would give you an argument if you said that Joan was not mother of the year, but the book is not exactly fully accurate. Books need to make money too, and I'm not saying I'm agreeing with it one way or the other. As Joan historian William Schoell said 'it's a great tragedy that when people hear the name Joan Crawford the first thing they think is 'no more wire hangers', because there is another Joan Crawford that people should remember.' Which is just exactly what I'm trying to do. Wish me luck!

Here are some clips. 

I am Sher-Locked

You can investigate all of my dirty little secrets.

Ok, I’m just going to say it; I am head over heels crazy balls want to kill myself in love with Benedict Cumberbatch. As I drift off to sleep every night in a fetal position wishing a warm British body was spooning me from the back, I turn on Sherlock (2010 - present) on Netflix and dream of Ben saving me from international spies.

I know I’ve written about him before only very hastily, and specified the following: He has the most British name ever. He looks like an otter (there’s even a meme for that) look it up. And I think that’s about it.

So late at night when I come home I’ve been turning on the Sherlock and watching away. It is just balls to the wall fantastic. First of all brilliantly directed and adapted. It’s very hard to take work as famous as that of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s and re-imagine it for the 21^st century. I mean look at every bullshit re-imagining of Shakespeare, fail, fail, and extraordinary fail. 

Sherlock (Cumberbatch) and Watson (Freeman) have a very close relationship. No sexual subtext, or is there?

But I would say that Cumberbatch’s portrayal of Sherlock happens to be one of the most captivating out of all of them, and this includes Ronald Howard and John Barrymore, and even Americans (well American) Robert Downey Jr.
I’d go as far to say that this is the best depiction of the enigmatic Holmes I’ve seen. It’s layered, intense, and puzzling…also homoerotic but we’ll skip that because it seems to be all I ever talk about. I discussed this after watching Game of Shadows (2011) (you can read it here Game of Bromance) regarding the relationship between Holmes and Watson so we can move on. I mean every film is homoerotic to me so let’s just skip that part. 

If Sherlock shows any signs of lust they come through in 'A Scandal in Belgravia' in the second season with the introduction of infamous dominatrix Irene Adler (Lara Pulver) shown above.

Besides, Cumberbatch himself said that he plays Holmes as somewhat asexual; too married to his work to concern himself with pussy. In a way he reminds me of Brian Kinney the Adonis from Queer as Folk (2000 - 2005) in that he shows no outward vulnerability or care for those around him and in fact takes pleasure in degrading them, but to those close to him that aren’t many, he shows extreme acts of kindness and protection.

He’s basically the exact specimen for the man I want to and should marry. British, mean, narcissistic, and dashing, with a pair of pale green eyes and chiseled cheekbones that could cut glass. Benedict, if you’re reading call me. I cook. 

Housewives Recap: Everyone’s an Alcoholic and Paul is a Douchebag

Taylor chatting it up with Yolanda Foster's hubby David Foster about absolutely nothing after hitting the wine glass a couple dozen too many times. As Yolanda said 'there's nothing uglier than a drunk woman' well, let's put it this way 'There's nothing uglier than a drunk Taylor'

Finally caught up on my Real Housewives of Beverly Hills because my life had become an empty void, and I gave in, just like Taylor does to a bottle of wine every so often. I was in Real Housewives rehab but I relapsed and bad. And what did I miss? Well here’s the gist. 

We all know Brandi is being sued by Adrienne and her hubby Paul the surgeon, who never stops talking about the fact that he’s a surgeon even though we’ve not once seen him perform surgery this season because he’s too busy playing second banana to his wife’s shoe-line ambitions. Adrianne is worth approximately 100 million dollars according to celebritynetworth.com (as you can see I use my spare time wisely) and Brandi is worth lets say nothing considering she hasn’t had a modeling gig since 1997 and her only income is selling incendiary stories to US Weekly. So basically that’s a shitty move on Adrianne’s part. 

Hypocrisy alert! Kim the former alcoholic, who apparently relapses later in the season, confronts Taylor about HER drinking problem now that she's in a 'better place'....really?

But here’s what’s happening now. For Kim’s new nose, she decided to throw a Kim’s new nose coming out party, it was the most bizarre thing I’d ever seen, but probably par for the course in Beverly Hills. During which, sisters Kim and Kyle which kind of remind me of the two wicked stepsisters from Cinderella get a rather strange phone call from Taylor saying she’s going to Beaver Creek and also implying she has no idea where her young daughter Kennedy (that’s right, that’s what she named her) is. This raises red flags. Then Bravo has the wear-with-all to show us other times that Taylor wasn’t how shall we say ‘aware’ and tipsily yapping about god knows what. Ergo, Taylor’s got a drinky problem, so says Kim the former alcoholic, and by former I mean for 3 months. 

What are you talking about I'm fine...glug glug glug.

So that now makes 2 out of 6, but lets face it, Brandi’s quite the frat girl herself, if you look closely, not that you would because your eyes would burn off from all that shiny, you’ll notice Brandi always has a glass of wine in her hand and tends to be pretty chatty and say things she shouldn’t. Red flag? Um yeah.

And in this day and age where in Beverly Hills it’s easier to get botulism than a driver’s license these girls are still picking alcohol as their main problem? Puleeeease. Get addicted to valium or cocaine like a proper Beverly Hills housewife and stop boring us with your sorority girl moments. 

Adrienne talking emphatically about nothing as usual, and Paul pretending to laugh at his wife's jokes because he loves her....paycheck.

Also, Paul’s being a cunt basically. That’s as much as I have to say about that. If you watch any promo it hints that he and Adrienne are headed for divorce court and all I can say is it’s not going to end well for him. It was mentioned in Season 2 that the two signed a pre-nup so he’ll definitely be taking that depressed divorced man’s condo while she keeps the billion dollar home in the hills, the dogs, and probs the kids so good luck to him, especially with that face of his.

That’s all. Ciao for now!

'Disconnected' from Reality: Warhol was Right All Along

Film's poster.

Finally a film allegory of the badness of technology, Ok I can do better than that to describe the new film Disconnect (2013), but because I was once a graduate student and PhD candidate in the ever growingly redundant and useless department of film studies anywhere, I'm going to drop some logistical reasoning on y'all before I get down to business.

This film harkens back to an idea I had been toying with during my PhD year, and yes I was only there one year before I said 'fuck this shit' and rightfully so. Anyway the idea was based on the Warholian concept of wanting to live forever and exist in technology as a machine. His simple quote 'I want to be a machine' harkens to the prophetic nature of machinery becoming integral in how we live our lives. I am not speaking in terms of how it would be perceived during say the industrial revolution like 'cars help us get places faster, and radio gives me information right in my living room', I mean in the sense that whatever we deem imperfect with our lives, we can refashion in our seemingly endless existence in the machine world. This has manifested itself particularly in terms of the superhuman or the post-human identity particularly with that of facebook. Bored yet? Well I am so let's switch gears. 

'text away, son'.

So a lot of hot people realize that their necessity in finding 'absolute truths' about themselves through the online universe has lead to their own demise. As Rooney Mara's character in The Social Network (2010) so eloquently put it 'the internet isn't written in pencil, it's written in ink'. Ergo, all of our mistakes, faux pas, dumb moments, etc. exist forever; being the double edged sword of internet post-human existence. And there I go off again. 

It has potential, it's the second seemingly serious reflection of our growing dependence and odd addiction to what some have started calling 'public displays of narcissism' which is basically what facebook is. In our endless pursuit of magnifying the good and deleting the bad from our online avatars, we have created a system of self-destruction the first sign of which is human disconnection. Ok I'm getting tired of my own voice here. The first film to address this new-millenium issue particularly a post-2010 issue was of course The Social Network (2010), after which, I think Catfish (2011) did a pretty good job, and if it weren't the highly overrated bullshit television series it turned into I'd say that with a straight face. Also, I have to give props to David Cronenberg's imaginative and surreal Cosmopolis (2012) which was also an anthem against this 'disconnect phenomenon'. More and more films like this that are reflexive of this particular bizarre influence on our culture including Matteo Garrone's Fellini-esque opus about a man who struggles in not living his life on a grand enough scale to where people everywhere can experience it too and becomes obsessed with getting on a second rate TV show slated for release later this year called Reality (2013).

Warhol and an antique camera. Most pictures of him had him holding a camera because he was always in the process of recording.

Aside from that, this phenom was actually something prophesied by you guessed it, Warhol. His films echo that sentiment in that they basically go on forever, as life organically does, without stopping or editing, but it exists mechanically, therefore the mechanical existence of ourselves overpowers our organic existence, and yes I am trying to remember bits and pieces of my dissertation right now, so I'll just leave you with the trailers. 

Pramface – Teen Moms Meets Modern Family Through the British Filter

This show was constantly running promos on HULU so I finally dug in out of desperation for something besides House of Cards and Downton Abbey. I needed to fill that void of delicate dry British humor and all the crap on Lifetime, and Pramheads fit the bill perfectly.

It involves a girl Laura (Scarlett Alice Johnson) who gets impregnated by a 16 year old who can’t even put on a condom properly. I mean come on British people, I know instructions aren’t written on the side of the plastic but didn’t you ever practice with a banana? Laura’s about to go to Uni (that means college to us Americans) and decides ‘hey, I’m just going to ride this out until it’s just about too late and see what happens'. She ignores being basically a statutory rapist that is with child and decides she’s going to remain drinking buddies with her best friend from High School Yay! Totally awkward and predictable situations ahead!

Jamie (Left) and his best friend contemplate strange and impractical ways of dealing with the situation; this is the major source of the comedy throughout the beginning of the series.

Jamie (Sean Michael Verey) , said father-to-be adorably and clumsy 16 year old tracks her down until she finally has to face the fact that she’s going to have a bloody baby and bloody hell it’s going to be bloody difficult to make this bloody decision.

She decides eventually (SPOILER ALERT) fuck off, it’s in the first episode, that she’s going to keep it, and now there’s going to be a particularly British clash of manners involved when Laura’s parents who are what we can call of the Intellectual Class have to now interact with Jamies', who are not Chavs per se (again American translation – white trash) but are somewhat LOWER middle class. 

Scarlett Alice Johnson is actually quite good as 18 year old preggers Laura who has to somehow tell her no-longer-speaking-to-each-other WASPY parents that she's not all they thought she was, and she's made one huge tiny mistake.

The whole thing permeates of unimaginably easy ways of dealing with unimaginably difficult scenarios, and is actually a lot of the time just plain scientifically inaccurate, but I suppose that a suspension of disbelief goes along with any comedy serial. All in all, this is not too bad, and has some serious actors in it. No I mean it, like RADA actors like Angus Deayton, Anne Chancellor, and Bronagh Gallagher (whom I love, I mean I am so happy she’s still working, she’s a highly underrated actress).

Anyway, I guess what I’m saying is skip the Teen Mom marathons on MTV and log on to Hulu to check out this cute little show, it’s little more than that, but it’ll put you in a good mood. 

Promo below.