Downton Abbey - The Last Dynasty

The official Season 3 trailer for Downton Abbey hit the youtubes last week and just like a good ambiguous highly anticipated trailer it's opening up a Pandora's Box of unanswered questions. But we're smart people (most of us) and can connect the dots given the little hints we've been handed. So in the teaser that hit about a month prior, there's like 3 cutaways of different characters saying 'all the money's gone' so we know that that is going to happen. Now lets talk about sex and relationships. 

Let's start with the big bombshell that surprised absolutely nobody. Ethel's a whore. For those who remember, Elsie appears in the first episode of Season 2 as a flirty, contentious, ambitious house maid who gets in some serious shit after she sleeps with a commanding officer in the British Army when Downton because a convalescent home for wounded soldiers during WWI. She gets fired, she gets preggers, he abandons her, and then he dies. She bring the baby over when his parents are visiting Downton and they give her an ultimatum; give up the baby and cut all ties to him or you and the baby are on your own. She chooses the latter and it's pretty clear what's going to happen to her next.
Also really quick, Lady Sybil is still having amazing sex and babies with Branston the Socialist radical even though everyone who is having the most dispassionate, boring sex in Downton loves to scoff at that.

Also apparently, the two engaged cousins that are the centrifugal cog in the whole Downton pleasure line; Mary Crawley and Cousin Matthew Crawley have been in a 'she loves me, she loves me not' back and forth until they both realize they are meant for each other, despite the fact that they are cousins.
But what stole my concentration was that the one dumpster fire 'middle child' plainy McNo-Face finally found herself a suitor! Good for her! Even though, he's the most boring person in boring people town.

Also! Someone kisses Thomas Barrow and (gasp!) it's a woman. I hope he has ample time to explain to her that not only is she not his type, but that he prefers a man quite above his station that he could lure in with his gift for words and his bright unwavering stare, and his evil cigarette time.
The whole thing is ripe for all kinds of discrepancies that I just cannot wait to bathe in, and I predict it will be the one most full of rapture, heartache, desperation, and eventual redemption. I think we all as watchers are going to be just fine. Just count down the hours slowly, and eventually we'll all be there
Here are some samples.

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Cooking - A New Fetish

Chef Fabio Viviani explains the difference between medium rare and medium to dumb bitches on Real Housewives of Orange County

I was watching The Lost Footage special for the Real Housewives of Orange County (don't you dare judge me. I will cut you, I don't care) and they touched upon newest housewife Heather Dubrow's grand plans of opening her own restaurant. (This is why shit like this only makes it to the Lost Footage specials and not to prime time basic cable). I would imagine the food is pretentious comma garlicy with a hint of righteous indignation and harkening back to nouvelle cuisine's principals of tiny portions so that it can appear enticing and worth the money, but actually doesn't taste like anything and there's never enough of it. But then she mentioned the name of her head chef; Fabio Viviani, and all was good in Reality television world again. Fabio Viviani is this insanely successful Italian chef de cuisine, who is known for his use of fresh organic ingredients and mastery of complex techniques in gastronomy. Oh and did I mention he's hot as shit?

Here's the thing, fellas. There is NOTHING a woman finds sexier than a man who cooks, aside from a man with a good personality of course (I couldn't even type the second part of that sentence without laughing). Anyway, whereas being able to put together Spaghetti Bolognese used to be a feat deserving of a girl's best try-hard sex, television is proving to us that men seriously need to step up their cooking game. Now-a-days you better have a Michelin star to your name or we won't even bother putting your number in our phones. Also, it really helps to have a French accent.

Left to right, the judges of US series Master Chef (2010 - ): Graham Elliot, Gordon Ramsay, and Joe Bastianich (if that last one sounds familiar, he's Lydia Bastianich's son). I find all three of them attractive. Sexually. Yes, I'm serious.

Reality TV in particularly has been massively affected by this trend of men hanging up their business degrees and paying tuition for cooking school. Scottish-born master chef and holder of 13 Michelin stars Gordon Ramsay has revolutionized the idea that the kitchen is where it's at. Always big in his native UK, it was only after 2005 with the start of his own reality series Hell's Kitchen (2005 - ), did Gordon become a fixture of horny foodies everywhere. Now, he has three prime time shows, and is considered an icon not only in food but in television...and of our loins. One of these shows is Master Chef (2010 - ) where an assortment of unprofessional home-cooks get the opportunity to compete their way to master chef status (I'm being redundant, it's right there in the title). On the latest episode Gordon and his two co-judges; Graham Norton and Joe Bastianich, invited the 3 absolute best chefs in the entire world to come judge the food of the remaining competitors. 

For those not into food (first of all, fuck you) the chefs were Guy Savoy, Daniel Boulud, and Alain Ducasse. In the fine dining world these three are basically the father, son, and holy ghost of food. Aside from being the most successful chefs in the world, they are absolutely terrifying as individuals because there is nothing more snooty than a celebrated French chef.

For some reason, the only thing I could think of during the episode was; I want to sleep with all of them! Just knowing that they're professional chefs got me all warm in my pants, even though I've never actually seen them cook. Another point: watching a man cook for a woman is the same as when a man watches a woman do gymnastics in her underwear. On top of which we get to eat afterwards. As men have no idea how much that means to us.
With films like The Chef (2012) coming out next year starring action-film aficionado Jean Reno, cooking is definitely redefining what is 'macho' in our society. And if we go back to the core of this whole trend; Gordon Ramsay, that's basically as 'manly' as it gets. He looks like he can break a guy in half with his bare hands, and with the same hands can put together a delicate filet mignon with cauliflower silk and grilled haricot verts. I guess it really is true that the key to a woman's heart is through her mouth. Good one?

Below, Gordon Ramsay cooks his signature Beef Wellington, it's better than porn!

Below trailer for upcoming film The Chef (2013)

Seductress Pick: Olga Kurylenko

Olga Kurylenko at this year's Venice Film Festival.

This might be the first time in Filth Screen history that I've done two consecutive Seductress Picks in a row, but I'm really excited about Terrence Malick's new film To the Wonder (2012) (wow, that's a sentence I never thought I'd say) and I wanted to write about its lead Olga Kurlylenko who is easily one of the hottest young actresses in the business right now. 

You might say I'm biased because she's one of my people from the good ol' USSR, but she's actually Ukrainian so we really don't have all that much in common...sorry, not a big fan of the Ukraine, but let's stay focused. 

Kurylenko is a Bond girl, so you would think this is an easy post to do, Bond girl on Filth Screen, the blog writes itself, but it's more complicated then that. Only because I choose to make it so but whatever. Miss Olga was definitely blessed to be born in the high end of the gene pool. Beautiful brunette locks of thick hair, enormous bright green eyes, and a body built for sin, and close to being a solid 6 feet tall, she was practically a shoe-in for Bond girl status...or a porn star trajectory so she clearly made the right choice.

She doesn't seem like one that would be cast in a Terrence Malick film. He's kind of a snob. He goes for Charlotte Rampling or Jessica Chastain types. He's not big on conventionally hot models. But apparently to her, he 'hypnotized' her so maybe there's our answer.

Kurylenko in a sensual yet earthy editorial photo.

Anyway, I don't have too much to say about her other than she's beautiful and I think she has a bright future ahead of her outside of cocaine parties and downward spirals leading to an unimaginable abyss of unhappiness despair and rehab that usually accounts for being the young, hot, new Hollywood thing, but she seems like she has a good head on her shoulders, and in 3 years went from Quantum of Solace (2008) eye and penis candy to distinguished Film Festival fodder, so she's going to be just fine. I've never really seen her 'perform', I mean it doesn't take formal acting training at RADA to be a bond girl, but I'm guessing in To the Wonder (2012) she's very profound and serious and made-under. And when she speaks she's actually pretty coherent and interesting, who'd have thunk? It's usually impossible to be that physically stunning and to have more than air blowing between the two ears, but she's managing to prove that fake statistic wrong. She's got potential, and is probably the only reason why I'll be buying a ticket to To the Wonder (2012). She has a Yvonne De Calro/Sophia Loren vibe about her and brings back a sense of Old Hollywood glamour nostalgia to the big screen. She's not unconventional or strange which is highly popular right now, and even though she takes brazen photographs and always looks like she's in the middle of seducing you, she's actually pretty seemingly mellow and down to earth. Na Zdrovya Olga!

Below, clip of her promoting To the Wonder (2012) at the Venice Film Festival a few days ago.

Seductress Pick: Abbie Cornish

Cornish in Somersault (2004)

Only once in a great while does an actress come around that completely challenges the landscape of performance in cinema in that time. And just as Barbara Stanwyck or Glenda Jackson or Catherine Deneuve did in their generations, Abbie Cornish is accomplishing currently as a consummate professional and master of her craft. For all of the Kristen Stewarts, Keira Knightleys, and Mila Kunises of our generation there is quietly creeping up behind them a marvelous force that refines the idea of being a female on screen with great finesse and utmost integrity. 

Cornish in great confluence with her co-star Heath Leger in Candy (2008)

Even though her salary is probably not close to half of what any of the aforementioned actresses tally, her legacy is what's really going to pay off in the end. I knew that Abbie Cornish was unique from maybe the first 5 minutes that I saw her on screen, and I mean really unique not just 'oh that's a new kind of sexy'. What Abbie maintains is a complete understanding of femininity which includes the struggle and irreverent power that comes with that. This is really what separates the actors from the 'stars' and what creates actual longevity in this business. Now, I'm not saying that stars can't be serious actors, nor am I using the term 'serious actors' in a pretentious, annoying, Yale drama school/Addison DeWitt kind of way. Cornish's performance reminds me of Gena Rowlands who is arguably the best actress in the English language, and also at the same time is completely reminiscent of someone like Liv Ullman. There's a quiet consciousness that is always self-aware and self-reflexive, and it's not just because she gets to play roles along those lines. Even when Cornish was in garbage like Stop-Loss (2008) she allowed for her vulnerability to carry the bullshit lines she was forced to say. Where the filmmakers had failed to give her character any compelling characteristics or even an arc, she was able to connect the dots and create a cohesive and endearing performance even though she was a supporting player. 

Cornish as the paragon Fanny Brawne, whom she played to nuanced perfection in Jane Campion's Bright Star (2009). Photographed in period costume she reminds one of Liv Ullman in Ingmar Bergman's Cries and Whispers (1972)

The way she carries herself boasts that she is all at once completely confident and yet spontaneous, sensitive to what any new situation or project could bring, which gives off the impression that she's fearless, and if you look at her CV, that's basically what she is. Everyone in this business has to do crap to pay the bills here and there, we can't all stick to Jane Campion films. Even Holly Hunter had to make A Life Less Ordinary (1998). Cornish is certainly not above that, no one is. But then she makes films like Bright Star (2009) or better yet she starts out with a bang in an unforgiving and devastating film like Somersault (2004). 

Still from Somersault (2004) with Sam Worthington.

Somersault is easily the best film of that year, and the character Cornish plays is beyond memorable. Ironically, it's a character we've seen over and over and over again; a troubled teenager who runs away from home and slowly self-destructs from excessive drugs, sex, and alcohol eventually leading to a bittersweet redemption of sorts. And yet it's totally new and vital when Cornish plays this character and that's a gift very few people that young have. She plays a 16 year old with the mentality of a 35 year old, while herself only being 20. She understands what sexuality actually stands for from a feminine gaze in the cinema and instead of exploiting it or making it ironic by turning it into melodrama (I'm talking to you, Keira) she quietly guides you through her own journey of self-discovery and by the end of it, you walk out convinced. I was, and I know she's a home wrecker and everything, but as long as she keeps pushing out performances like she has been, it doesn't matter a bit to me.

Below some trailers to help illustrate my point. 

Come On British Press! Show Us Ye Olde Royal Peen.

The now infamous photos leaked by TMZ last week afterwhich the palace quickly threw a muzzle on the British Press, hence the kitschy red star on the right.

Come on British press, we all struggle. Just leak one or two we won't do anything with them, except photoshop them into oblivion and send them all around the interwebs with asinine memes posted underneath. But in all seriousness, we're just curious. We don't have a royal cock over here, so we just want to get a peak. Unless you're a sad sad cave person with stolen mannequins behind the alley at Macy's that you dress up and seat around your living room to pose as friends, you've heard by now that NSFW photos have been leaked to TMZ of a drunken romp Prince Harry had in Vegas before returning to combat training. Oh dear god, I hope the world doesn't collapse on itself. 

First of all, what's the big deal? He's third in line people. Which basically means, he's not in line. More than likely, he's never going to be king. But he's young, rich, and hot. So why not get in a naked hottub psuedo-orgy before you go defend your country in a foxhole in the goddamn desert with nothing but a dehydrated meal and your AK-47 by your side? You're in Vegas. That's what Vegas is for. Do you think anyone has ever not been naked in Vegas? I don't even think it's legal to be inhabiting a hotel room in Vegas with clothes on. It's a state law. 

If anyone gives me the whole 'royal duties' speech one more time I might projectively vomit all over them.

Cadets around the world give Prince Harry a naked salute. Cheers lads.

Prince Harry is a prince, but he's no where near needing to fulfill any 'duties' except be young, have fun, and be irresponsible. He's L'enfante terrible, the rogue brother. If one of the bro's has it down in terms of duty, take a break and go party in Vegas with naked sluts.

Of course the palace put a royal kibosh on the photos so now we can only see them with an unseemly Photoshopped 'star' over what i'm sure is a really toned royal ass.  The other picture, I get it, he's covering HIMSELF up, but there's something else their keeping from us, I can just feel it, no pun intended. Now it's being revealed that VIDEO footage exists of naked Harry's hairy bird. (Yay! the most unoriginal alliteration ever!) 

And I'm pretty good at rummaging the internet for 'lost' or 'leaked' celebrity video...no I'm not...and I couldn't find one single lead on this. I'm lost in the woods. I mean when the palace says 'no', I guess it really does mean 'no'. But hey, we have the Associated Press here in the States that would gladly crawl all over this like flies on shit. What? Did you think we have integrity? We follow Lindsay Lohan around for chrissake. There is no 'bottom line' to our celebrity press. And hey, it's not like he's our Prince, to us, he's just a hot guy who's got a lot of money, and is the bad boy of his family, and who on this side of the pond doesn't find that irresistible?

The Shirtless Appeal of Adam Levine

So, kind of random, but yesterday my neighbor was blasting Maroon 5 for like a good 3 hours, so it inspired me to write about Adam Levine. Ok here we go, I guess. 

photo by Terry Richardson with whom Levine collaborates frequently for photo shoots...thank crap.

My roommate used to make me sit with her in the living room and watch The Voice (2011 - ), and at first I was like 'are you kidding me?' and then I came to the realization that though it was a bastardization of American Idol (2002 - ) it was far superior. Why? Two words: Adam. Levine. Womanizer extraordinaire and tribal tattoo aficionado, with a voice that sounds like he's coming literally all the time. Of course he had his vices, referring to contestants as 'bro', and putting a million deliberate holes in his jeans, and he humblebrags like every Twitter update he makes and he honestly doesn't realize it. Do I give a shit? Not really. 

I think it doesn't matter what your 'type' is, you find Adam Levine unquestionably attractive. It's like is the sun hot? Yes, to every single person on this earth the sun will be hot. He looks like a nice Jewish boy gone haywire on meth. Sometimes he's rockin' a faux-hawk and lime-green kicks. Others, he's buttoned up in a cravat and sweater vest. But no matter what, he has this distinct swagger and wink in his eye as if to say 'I get laid way more than you do'.

Another photo by Terry Richardson. Levine's a bad boy.

Another universal truth is that Adam Levine has more sex than you do. He has more sex than anyone. It's a mathematical certainty. He's giving Gene Simmons a run for his money. Not only is he a rock star covered in tattoos, but he's got this sweet, gentle, heartbroken side to him. It's very primal, sensual, and unmistakeably hot. Also, he sings like a beautiful naked sweaty angel.

You might think I'm partial to Levine-a-mania because 1. He's Jewish 2. He's from the Bay Area, and other similarities, but seriously girls, you have to have ice water running through your veins if your down-belows don't tingle just a little bit whenever he winks at the camera or does his moves-like-jagger sway. My infatuation started much earlier and I think I'm tired of suppressing it. Girls over 25 can find Adam Levine attractive mmmkay? Now get the hell off my back and let me enjoy it!

Now, I have actually been to a Maroon 5 concert. San Jose, 2005. It was their 'Songs About Jane' tour, and we had 4th row seats. There were beads of Levine-sweat hitting me in the eyeball. It was fantastic. He's really a great performer to all you haters out there. He's no Mick, but his stage persona is definitely fathomable. And if you listen to their early songs before they started making teeny-bopper fluff with Gym Class Heroes, it's actually pretty raunchy. What am I saying? Levine has always been quite the sex-maniac. I mean his second album with Maroon 5 was titled 'Hands All Over', and there havn't been that many photo shoots in which he appears with a shirt on.

Levine chillin' on The Voice. He's way too cool for school.

The whole first album 'Songs About Jane' is basically about how much sex Levine is having with his girlfriend and how painful it all turns out to be. Awww shucks. And I know the first couplets that are popping into your fragile mind are 'I tried so hard to feed her appetite, and keep her coming every night', to which ya gotta think, who is this Jane whom Adam can't keep at full tilt boogie? If Adam Levine isn't keeping you coming every night, you might want to check her for a pulse. That bitch is either frigid or totally ungrateful. But she did inspire a really solid record, but now we can all tune in to NBC and watch Levine talk total nonsense to contestants all the live-long day. Or we can just lock all the doors, close all the windows and rock out to 'Moves Like Jagger' in our undies. Don't bullshit, you know you've done it. 

Below some masturbation fodder, I mean, music videos. 

Life is So Fucking Awkward.!

This is usually the face Jenna (Ashley Rickards) makes when things get awkward, which is often...obviously.

So last night after being bored to tears watching Roger cry like a bitch for the millionth time on Snooki & JWoww the predictable train-wreck spinoff of Jersey Shore (2009 - ), I was too lazy to change the channel when Awkward. came on. I had always written it off because it looked just like one of those many many many retrospectives on a pretty but ugly girl in the most uncomfortable moments in her life, and the endless awkward mishaps that keep happening to her for some reason...but for the digital age. At first, it seemed like the teen version of Sex and the City (1998- 2004) and then I was like, hold up - the main character blogs literally like all the time, hold up - the vast majority of her sexual hookups are painfully awkward, hold up - she narrates her life with passive narcissism and ironic self-deprecation. So she's basically me but 12 years ago (good fucking god I'm old). So my advice for Jenna would be - hang in there sister, it gets worse. 

I remember when my high school boyfriend broke up with me. I had on that exact same face/dress/pigtails. This leads her to have sex with her boyfriend's much hotter friend Matty (Beau Mirchoff).

...this guy. Yep, this one.

I think I've figured it out. The 90's celebrated the ditz in all of us, the one who WAS popular, attractive, smart but not really, and not weird at all, except if it's conventionally weird (which sounds like an oxymoron, but I'm making a My So Called Life (1994) reference here.) From Clueless (1995) to Saved by the Bell (1989 - 1993) the 90's celebrated the rich, conventionally hot, accidentally brilliant persona, while the 00's have given life to the disadvantaged, socially retarded, and yet completely endearing girl that television keeps building shows around, starting way back with Freaks and Geeks (1999 - 2000). But for all shows that have taken this trend to narrative, this is beyond superior. Yes, I'm talking to you Glee (2008 - ), and to you Girls (2012 - ), your awkward main characters just aren't making the cut, they're boring, stuffy, inarticulate, and overall huge boner killers.

If you're in your teens (first of all, my condolences) second of all, you are probably having much more awful sex than what TV dictates you are. I mean in the pilot episode, main character Jenna (played brilliantly by Elizabeth Taylor doppelganger Ashley Rickards) has sex with a guy at her camp and his penis slips into the 'backdoor' accidentally. Let me repeat that: His penis slips into the backdoor...accidentally. Usually you wouldn't even find content like this on your worst run of the mill soap opera, but there it is on MTV. So if you're looking for your TV filth fix during Snooki & JWoww hours, hang in there and stick around for Awkward. It's the best show you're not watching. 

Below the Season 2 promo.

Say What? 'Legitimate'-Gate and Its Repercussions

Todd Akin; the picture of privileged white-man hypocrisy. And also he looks somewhat like a serial killer.

As Lynne Koplitz once put it 'I'm not well adjusted, I'm on Vicodin when I visit you', well I had to take a Vicodin because i hurt my ankle, but it's making me all euphoric and woozy so I feel this is the best time to write about the whole 'legitimate rape' debacle that has everyone up in arms, because this means I can't get too crazy and angry, and can just barrel through this with a mellow distance.

Unless you've been planning your suicide and don't have much time for CNN, newspapers, HuffPo, or people talking around you, you've heard of 'legitimate rape-gate'. Some foo named Todd Akin, who's apparently running for republican senate (good luck with that) said something along the lines of when a woman is 'legitimately raped' her body has a way of shutting her reproductive organs so that she doesn't get pregnant. Ergo abortions should be completely illegal even in cases of rape, because rape can't get you pregnant, unless you were wearing a short skirt and asking for it, you disgusting whore.

Now there's nothing I love more in this world (aside from Aussie shepherd puppies) than old white wrinkly dudes on capitol hill talking about a woman's body and anatomy like they've ever even touched a boobie in their entire lives. Every time Uncle Fester has something to say, he looks like his knowledge of the female body was taught to him by his sister in an outhouse (ok I went a little Larry Flynt just now) or, him and his wife procreate through a hole in the sheet without looking at each other, fully clothed. And Mr. Todd Akin looks like he hasn't fornicated with ANYTHING for millenniums. Not only that, he's entering dangerous 'Anne-Coulter territory' to where even the Republican party itself is turning its back to you and disassociating you from their politics. Once that happens, it basically means you've fallen pretty far buddy. 

First of all, I'm very much of the opinion that not only 'my body, my choice', but that it is highly unfair for 'lawmakers' who are mostly white men get to make these kinds of decisions for us, just because their daddy's paid for their Law School back in the 50's get ANY say in this whole debate coming up with scientific theory that even a hungover 8th grade science student would go 'oh yeah, that's not true'.

If anything though, I think what Akin said, as horrendous and utterly disgusting it was, might bring some good to this whole election after all. If people slowly start to realize that this is actually how people in the Republican party think (and i'm sorry, but it's true. You always get flub ups and hypocritical statements coming out of their circle, I mean Sarah Palin's brain was like a hotbed for thoughts like that) then, Obama has more than just a fighting chance. 

The whole thing is beyond infuriating, especially putting words like 'legitimate' and 'rape' even in the same breath, and does so much damage by offending basically the entire female population all over the world, it basically makes us remember that we're still #2 even though we're supposedly as progressive as we all think we are. Some people just need their mouths taped shut, and most of those people are Republicans, this just proves my point. 

See video below.

All the Ladies Love Corcoran: Copper Premieres on BBC America Finally.

There's a lot of sex on this show. It's as simple as that.

BBC America has always had to compete with The States in terms of risque programming. Let's face it, next to shows like Mad Men (2007 - ), Hung (2009 - 2011), Queer as Folk (2000 - 2005), and reality fluff like Strange Sex and Jersey Shore, The BBC might as well be filmed in a convent. But they hit a home run last night with a Hell on Wheels type show about the reformation period in the United States called Copper (2012 - ). Cast with mostly unknowns...and Franka Potente from The Bourne Films and Run Lola Run (1999) fame, this is quite a gritty period drama. Most of it takes place in a brothel, so that should give you some sense of what goes down, no pun intended. A tough-as-nails reformed cop with a heart of gold who is brought from Ireland to keep peace in the Five Points struggles to maintain his integrity while having lots and lots of period corset sex with his madame girlfriend. 

I had no idea prostitutes had showers in their brothels back in the 1860's.

Also, I just have to add, I love how prostitutes from the 1800's are always portrayed as cleaner than say a contemporary prostitute...ok that sounded wrong; modern-day prostitute. Contemporary prostitute sounds like part of a master's thesis, moving on! 

But seriously, I'm sure they didn't have quite as many teeth as Franka Potente, and she still somehow manages to look like she just came straight to set from a Beverly Hills spa, ready to whore it up with the tortured, filthy, but sexy as balls Irishman. Yeah where's that set, sign me up, I'll bring the coffee, I'll gofur, I don't care. 

Corcoran's weapon of choice.

It looks like BBC America has finally started to catch up sex-wise and riding that psychotic horse to its burning stable (bad analogy, I know) but I was thinking 'burning loins' and that's where that came from. Again, off track. 

In the pilot we learn, that Copper (a.k.a Kevin Corcoran) played by super-super-super hot actor Tom Weston-Jones (who? I know, I don't know either) has a past. He's in the big apple (not sure they called it that in 1860 but whateves) searching for the man who killed his wife and daughter, or something like that, I was REALLY distracted by all the sex. Therefore, he's got this soft spot, you know, when a little girl gets brutally murdered and her corpse defiled...yes that kind of thing is on the show too. I realized I might not be selling this all that well any more, but I will say this, it's aesthetically pleasing and has plenty of potential, and it's only been one episode. So if BBC America is on your cable box, then perhaps you can start getting your jollies from a channel other than AMC. Hope you like it!

Below, the promo.

The Many Shades of Bradley Cooper

Acting student Bradley Cooper

Asshole jock Bradley Cooper

Elephant man Bradley Cooper

Damn dirty hippie Bradley Cooper

Pigtails Bradley Cooper

Fifty Shades of Cooper

Bearded and profound Bradley Cooper

Nekkid Bradley Cooper

Surfer dude Bradley Cooper

Wolverine/Ryan Reynolds Bradley Cooper

Hey Girl Bradley Cooper

Classic Cooper

I'mma kill you Bradley Cooper

Tinted aviators Bradley Cooper

Buff Bradley Cooper

Crying Bradley Cooper awwww.