Great Balls of Fire: Bring Tennessee Williams Back From the Dead

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The List Of Things I Learned From the Oscars

Seriously?

1. J-Law is either milking the awkward klutz thing for all it's worth or she's constantly drunk.
2. Benedict Cumberbatch is the shiznit because he had the balls to photobomb U2.
3. Amy Adams didn't go to college what a dumb bitch.
4. Liza Minelli put blue in her hair.
5. I. Love. Jared. Leto.
6. I've become attracted to him again.
7. He loves his mom and that turns me on.
8. I don't care if he didn't bother to brush his hair.
9. Damn it, I have to start listening to his crappy band now
10. Ellen Degeneres is boring
11. She had to resort to taking selfies and ordering pizza to keep the show from flopping
12. Leonardo DiCaprio REALLY hates losing.
13. John Travolta can't pronounce shit.
14. wait...there was a theme to the Oscars?
15. Jared Leto!!!!
16. Pharrell can get ANYONE to dance.
17. Woody Allen rumors ain't true.
18. Jennifer Lawrence is the new Kristen Stewart...she must be destroyed.
19. Bradley Cooper parades around his pedophilia like it's something to be proud of.
20. Christian Bale don't dance.
21. They stopped playing off long and boring acceptance speeches. They need to start doing that again.
22. If anyone ever says 'thank you for teaching me to dream' ever again I'm done with this show
23. They really skimped on the production design this year.
24. The Great Gatsby won 2 awards....da fuuuhhh?
25. White tuxedos have become acceptable to wear.
26. Kevin Spacey is sooooooo gay.
27. Benedict Cumberbatch kissed Angelina Jolie when 12 Years a Slave won. What a bitch.
28. Cate Blanchett deserves a standing O....always. Hashtag suck it.

I Re-Name All the Oscar Nominated Films And Set it to Their Trailers

Jared Leto and Matthew MacConaughey from Dallas Buyer's Club (2013)

-- 'Explosion at the Wig Factory' Yes...I stole that from Tina and Amy, thanks girls.

-- 'Skinny Actors with Southern Accents'

-- 'Literally Anything I Rename This Movie Could be Misconstrued as Racist'

-- 'Pretty People Get Ugly to Win Oscars'

-- 'Joaquin Talks to Himself for Two Hours'

-- 'Indictment of Catholicism'

-- 'Somali Pirates Are Hot'

-- 'I Stopped Counting the F-Bombs'

-- 'Woody Allen Presents: A Streetcar Named Desire'

-- 'Bruce Dern is Still Alive, You Guys!'

-- 'In Space...Plot is Impossible'

My Favorite Woody Allen Films

Let's cut to the chase. Woody Allen is filthy. Woody Allen is prolific. Woody Allen is funny. Woody Allen averages a film a year. I'm watching the documentary about his illustrious and incomparable career and I'm going to make not a comprehensive list of my favorite films of his, but my top 10. In order. Here it is.PS this might be my shortest blog post ever.

1. Crimes and Misdemeanors (1989)

2. Love & Death (1975)

3. Match Point (2005)

4. Annie Hall (1977)

5. Sleeper (1973)

6. Bananas (1971)

7. Deconstructing Harry (1997)

8. Manhattan (1979)

9. Purple Rose of Cairo (1985)

10. Vicky Christina Barcelona (2008)

Below some favorite parts from the aforementioned films.