400th Blog Post!

Well ladies and gents. I've reached 400. My god what have I done with my life? I started his blog in 2010, and have finally gotten to 400. I consider that a feat, I don't care. I'm very proud of my blog and can't believe it's been 5 years and 400 posts. I've written probably about 7 pieces on Marilyn Monroe, about as many on Edie Sedgwick, Orson Welles, Spring Breakers, Downton Abbey...and then it came to me. Ask yourself...who whether you like it or not is a living icon that our generation grew up on? Who is perhaps the most photographed person right now? And who is instantly recognizable in their work, look, or sound? Let's spare anymore suspense....It's Britney, bitch. 

For my 400th I thought the best thing to do was to give you the ultimate countdown of her best music videos. She's had quite a lot of them, and not all made the cut. But every single one is special in its own way and molded the persona, career, and immortality of perhaps our generation's most recognizable figure. Recently she received one of those 'Lifetime achievement awards' at the VMA's (not sure what they call it) Video Vanguard, that's it. It was given to her by Lady Gaga and a tribute of her greatest moments was performed. Love her, hate her, or simply don't care, you can't not acknowledge that she is now synonymous with pop culture. We've watched her grow from a teeny-bopper school girl, into a villainous sex-pot, watched her self-destruct, and rise from the ashes like the Phoenix that she is. If you're my age, it's hard to remember a time when Britney wasn't part of our lives, and I think all of us are surprised that she's lasted this long. Homegirl might not have the voice of Whitney Houston, the versatility of Madonna, or the creative bravado or Lady Gaga, but there's no question that she's earned her place not only in the music industry, but in iconography. This is mainly due to her music videos so let's start the countdown shall we? 

10. Piece of Me (2007)

At #10, we have Piece of Me. This is perhaps her most blatant fuck-you to the media that’s haunted her for most of her life. Every single lyric says it all. ‘I’m Mrs. She’s to thick now she’s too thin’, ‘I’m Mrs. Oh my god that Britney’s shameless’ …’you want a piece of me?’. The video is simple enough. It’s her barely dancing against bright colorful flashing lights, and every once in a while cuts to her doing something that she became notorious for doing; partying and having it show up on a newspaper. It’s a very unapologetic message. Someone once compared her to the female Elvis. No, she’s not as talented as him, it’s meant in the way that no one was ever that famous and thrust into the blinding glare of the media spotlight basically all the livelong day. I can see why she had a meltdown eventually. And with this song she’s not saying ‘poor me, leave me alone’. She’s saying, ‘come and get it, bitch’.

9. Everytime (2004)

This is perhaps the video that I still struggle with but I had to include it if for no better reason than that the song is sung by a cornrowed James Franco in one of my favorite films ever; Spring Breakers. I swear every time the song ends I hear Franco’s voice in my head whisper ‘Spring Breaaaaak’. It literally doesn’t make any sense, but the song is very pretty. It’s one of the few ballads that Britney’s ever done, and it’s the best one. In the video she’s in a hospital, then she’s arguing with a boyfriend (played comically enough by Stephen Dorff), then she’s dead, then she’s in a bathtub. I don’t get it. I really don’t. It kind of looks like a really bad student film, but Britney makes it come together. The imagery matches the tone and the lilting lyrics of the song. She get’s my approval…as does James Franco. Sometimes I think I prefer his version more. 

8. Criminal (2011)

Criminal is one of her most recent efforts off of her Femme Fatal record. It’s perhaps her most unlikely video. It’s very Madonna. She’s for once not in charge of her fate. In it, she falls in love with…a criminal, but he’s sexy and drives a motorcycle and we know that’s catnip for Britney. The man just happens to be her then-fiancé Jason Trawick with whom she gets caught up in a Bonnie & Clyde kind of scenario in England for some reason. The video ends with them making out amidst a hail of police bullets in slow motion. Sound hoaky, I know, but it’s really cool. And she’s naked in the shower. And she plays with guns. Bingo, I have bingo.

7. Stronger (2000)

This is the first collaboration with director Joseph Kahn. It’s somewhat non-linear and weird, but the choreography makes up for it. She’s in some kind of spinning room like the restaurant at the Marriott in Times Square…then she’s driving a car over a collapsed highway in the rain, but the best part of course is her dance with a moving chair. That was very Gene Kelly/Fred Astaire of her, and totally blew my mind. Also, if you listen to the lyrics, it’s about a lot of fluff obviously, but it’s very deliberately contradicting her former attitude towards men. When in Baby…One More Time there’s the line ‘my loneliness is killing me’ in Stronger the lyric goes ‘my loneliness ain’t killing me no more’. Heavy right? She’s a poet. 

6. Womanizer (2008)

I love Womanizer. It was the first single from Circus, and had announced to the world; Hey everyone, I’m not batshit anymore…and I have hair again. It’s basically a Toxic Part II, but steamier. Instead of writhing around on the floor in a nude glitter suit, she’s again, in a sauna, completely naked narrating the story of a woman who stalks her cheating boyfriend by (again) having three incarnations. The song is actually brilliant when you think about it. The chorus is unique in how repetitive and fast it is, and this video displays Britney’s confidence better than any other. She’s playing by her own rules now people, don’t be the unlucky one that gets in her way. 

5. ...Baby One More Time (1999)

Ah the video that started it all. I know considering its significance it should probably be number 1, but as a video it’s not as strong as some of the others; and that is exactly the essence of Britney. When this single and the video hit, people were asking themselves; how does a pop star possibly top that? She did. Many a time. But let’s go back. Turns out the concept was all Britney’s idea. The director wanted some kind of cartoonish thing, but Britney suggested that they set it in a school and donned the now iconic schoolgirl uniform to dance to some of the most 90’s choreography ever. Ironically, the whole wardrobe for everyone in the video was bought at K-Mart. It appealed to that very evil thing in men where you dress like a slut but tell people you’re a virgin. She had the little girl bangs, the falsetto out-of-breath voice, and the goddamn pigtails and announced her arrival in a very ballsy way. 

4. Circus (2008)

Circus is just a very well directed video. Off of her album…Circus, it’s set in a…circus. It’s funny how Christina Aguilera always seems to be on the music video heels of Britney because after this video dropped, Christina’s Hurt premiered, and it was also set in a circus. Not to mention that Christina’s infamous fuckfest orgy video for Dirrty hit about 2 months after I’m a Slave 4 U and even though it was blatantly more sexual, I remember thinking; ‘Britney did it better’. Anyway, Britney was fresh from her very public meltdown and wanted to prove that she was still at the top of her game. She looked amazing, playing a ringmaster, and the choreography was a break from what we’d usually seen her do. It was much more complex and advanced, proving to everyone that this bitch can dance. 

3. I'm a Slave 4 U (2001)

Perhaps Britney’s sexiest video and maybe one of the sexiest videos of all time. Britney was no longer the school girl with a midriff that won’t quit. Donning leather low-riders and a few pieces of bright pink fabric to cover her boobs, the video puts her in a giant sauna of some kind. Everyone is sweaty as fuck, and just has to dance damn it. Some costume genius decided to spray Britney with olive oil in between takes so she always looks like she’s dripping in sweat, and what’s sexier than that? The heavy panting probably. I remember watching it for the first time and being ‘Woah, what happened to innocent school girl Britney?’ This was her loudest transition into her sex-pot persona. She played this up by performing the song at that year’s VMA’s with a live giant python wrapped around her. It’s considered to be one of the best and most significant performances of that show’s history.  

2. Oops!...I Did It Again (2000)

I’m sorry but I love this song and the video, albeit totally weird, it is hilarious and infectiously catchy just like the song. After ...Baby One More Time, everyone thought; well she’s cool and of the times, but who knows if she has staying power? When Oops!…I Did it Again dropped, coupled with a solid video, people realized Britney was here to stay. In her red cat suit, and that ridiculous choreography she became an icon before our very eyes. More than anything, it’s just fun, and even if you hated it, you really loved it and rock out to it when the windows are rolled up. And admit it, you can do the dance too. 

1. Toxic (2003)

Did you really not see this coming? Toxic is not only her best video but her best song. It was the first conscious break from the bubble-gum pop era of Britney and the first single off her 4^th album ‘In the Zone’. She teamed up with avant-garde video director Joseph Kahn again, who previously worked with the likes of Eminem, Moby, Christina Aguilera, and TLC. It’s the first of her videos to tell a cohesive (albeit highly surreal and hyper-visualized) story that involves an angry beauty seeking revenge on a man that wronged her and eventually killing him. Britney has three significant incarnations that not only make her look unbelievable, but helped disguise her in her quest. Tyson makes a cameo as her motorcycle driver, and of course there’s that nude suit with glitter on it barely concealing well anything in the video. The song style borrows heavily from the music of the 70’s, particularly ABBA and was an instant hit. The video is just as iconic, and signified that Britney was growing up. 

Now rock out like there's no one there to judge you. 

Below, that Video Vanguard thing I was talking about. 

It’s Been a Year Since Spring Breakers and What Have We Learned?

Ok I jest it’s actually been a year and a few months, but still, since the cataclysmic world-altering event that was James Franco’s grillz first hit American theaters and mainstream America finally knew who Harmony Korine was. But has the earth appropriately shattered? And with the talks of a Spring Breakers 2 already abuzz on the internet, will our perception of the best thing that ever happened to the 21^st century be ruined?

Anyway, back to life lessons.
Point #1: Now everyone not just Silicon Valley hipsters know who Megan Ellison is, as more than just the eccentric daughter of Larry Ellison. Suck it, Silicon Valley?

Point #2: The Disney channel is not just one giant black hole of mind-numbing content and jail-bait and can actually produce genuine talent. I know, I was shocked too when I found myself saying the following; Selena Gomez can act, ya’ll.

Point #3: St. Petersburg, Florida is a toilet.

Point #4: Where did Gucci Mane’s ridiculous face tattoo disappear to? Was it ever there in the first place?

Point #5: Rachel Korine is married to Harmony Korine, you guys

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And finally, let’s wrap things up with the man that encompasses the most important life-lessons of all, Mr. James Edward Franco of the Palo Alto Franco’s is a Renaissance man.
Let's face it folks, and fellow Columbia students who saw him walking the circumference of Dodge Hall smoking two cigarettes in his mouth, fiddling with his smart phone and then falling asleep in class. Maybe he had just shut off that part of the brain that actually does stuff so he could meditate on further projects...Like perhaps reading the script of Spring Breakers in that labyrinthine craziness that is his mind. Anyway, no one would give you any kind of argument if you say that James Franco completely stole Spring Breakers for himself, so much so, that he could stand head and shoulders next to his directors like they both contributed equally to the outcome. Most of Alien's dialogue, mannerism, and general debauchery was ad-libbed and conceived by Franco himself (case and point the sucking a gun like a dick scene as well as the infamous 'Look at my shyyyit' speech). Alien is truly one of the greatest anti-heroes in contemporary cinema.

But lets please give credit where credit is due. This film is the brainchild, and the labor of love of longtime contraversial director Harmony Korine. But let me back up. There are two kinds of iconoclasts in the film world, ones who do it in the face of art to break rules in order to make their own artistic artistic statement which almost always comes of preachy and pretentious, and then you have a real iconoclast like Korine; 

He breaks the rules because it's in his bloody nature. It is completely impossible for him to make a film that is not completely his, and just his aesthetic and talent are so out of bounds of anything, they force him through his art and process to not only break the so-called rules, but not to give a shit when they are. He's a real whistle-blower, devoid of pretension and personal gain or loss. He just wants to make a film damn it, it's really that simple. And when he does, it's pandemonium. Critics are ripping their hair out deciding whether to like it or pan it knowing that when a Korine film comes out, you better be en pointe considering no one likes to be the unpopular voice in that cannon, not even Armond White. But the one thing that's sure is that whether achieving any kind of indie box office success, the film culminates with instant cult status, and films haven't done that since the 70's...or Verhoeven. The wild success of Spring Breakers (2013) is just proof of how multi-faceted Korine has always been. Not only can he make a quirky bizarre indie cult hit a la Vincent Gallo, but he can make it a huge commercial success considering its modest budget and also make it the film du-jour of not only snooty New York intellectuals but right down to your average, run of the mill, dumb it down teenagers. He had us all saying 'Look at my Shyiit!' He has impacted not only as a film industry but society as a whole with his free wheelin', devil-may-care attitude and proletariat filmmaking approach that shakes us, provokes us, and ultimately makes us deeply admire his spirit, and an aesthetic that danes not to take itself seriously at all and yet still maintain a serious impact with its precedence. I smell honorary Oscar.

Fun stuff below

Turn It Up! Trailer Music Takes a Front Seat

Adèle Exarchopoulos and Léa Seydoux in Blue is the Warmest Color.

Music enjoyed quite the spotlight in not just its idiom with the barely there videos for Blurred Lines and Wrecking Ball, but also in cinema as well. Just in trailers, filmmakers and their editing team showed us they're still hipsters at heart and though the film itself might have an original score, they are going to draw you in with some hip indie shit so you'll watch their hip indie film. 

August: Osage County (2013) even got on the bandwagon, where I'm sure some idiot was thinking ok, a film about domestic dispute and general tension within a family, where have we seen that before? The Lumineers! They're not annoying the shit out of the whole population yet (yes they are) get them on the phone...worked for Silver Linings Playbook (2012), so what if it's 2 years later and no one cares nor ever wants to hear another song by The Lumineers ever again (can you say overexposed?) let's stick that in the trailer. I'm sure Meryl draped against the background of a light-hearted Lumineers ditty will convince people that this is actually a pretty dark story about a family falling apart with a biting comic edge. They'll think it's a fun flick for the whole family to enjoy. I'll take morons for 300 Alex.

I could literally hear every song Sleigh Bells ever wrote over this image.

But everyone else seemed to have the right idea, even people that do nothing but accentuate the soundtrack, never bothering to hire someone to write an original score so that the whole world is force fed their exceptional knowledge of music in general. I'm talking to you Sofia Copolla. Every single goddamn film of hers is saturated with indie hits and long forgotten tunes from eras we no longer care about just so that people can leave the film going 'wow, that was a really long music video we just sat through', but even I was on board after watching both the teaser and the trailer for The Bling Ring (2013) against which the punishing beats of Sleigh Bells were 'ringing'. I was like fuck it, I'll watch the damn thing; I mean it really was the perfect track for a film about spoiled LA trust fund babies going on a robbing spree in the Hollywood Hills, I was even watching the film mouthing the words 'set set that crown on the ground...bitches' I ad libbed that last part. 

Blue is the Warmest Color (2013) didn't disappoint either, it's a dark Euro film filled with heightened emotion, lots of shakey steady-cam, and lady-tears, don't get me wrong, I loved it, and they did choose the best artist to sing in the background of all of this draaaama in the trailer; miss Lykke Li. The new Bjork as it were. She's Euro, she's emotional, she's saturated in feminist lyricism, and haunting grooves, she's perfect, and her song 'I Follow Rivers' which was used in the trailer was pitch perfect to describe the film to me in a matter of two minutes.

Not only does Harmony Korine give us a glimpse into Alien's headspace, but his ipod shuffle too.

But as ever, the winner this year is (surprise, surprise) Harmony Korine, I'm sorry I know you know by now my feelings about Spring Breakers (2013), but I'm going to sing it's praises once again. Perhaps the best use of music this whole year, combining a chilling and ominous score with some iconic pop ballads and new hits from edgy artists like Skrillex and Gucci Mane (one of the actors in the film btdubs) was bloody brilliant. In the trailer, it begins with the girls just talking about making it to Spring Break, and getting 'the fucking money' to get there, and once they do, crank up the Gucci Mane as they twerk up on each other and ride scooters like champions into St. Pete's. Gangsta's fo life. Once James Franco shows up, they change it up to a dark remix by Skrillex, which jumps with the clips from the film; from the surreally magical to the deeply horrific. It worked on me immediately. It's perhaps the trailer of the year. (Although I was a big fan of Hunger Games: Catching Fire (2013)) TRAILER-WISE. 

Here's a film that really fucked up on their trailer...Inside Llewyn Davis (2013), excellent film, what the fuck, trailer? Instead of using original music from the film (which one would argue was smart as it would give too much away and lord knows that the Coen Brothers are awesome with music considering O Brother, Where Art Though? (2003) made more on the soundtrack than the film did itself) but instead they went for a little known Bob Dylan ballad called 'Farewell' and considering the topic of the film, in Eisenstenian theory (calm down bleeding heart film students), one would assume this is some kind of 'based on actual events' retelling of Bob Dylan's life a la I'm Not There (2007) not a totally original piece about a folk singer living in New York with a ginger cat trying to make it by during the neo-bohemian scene and resurgence of folk music in the West Village. I would still elect to use original music from the film, or at least part of the score, just nothing as recognizable like Dylan because that's going to confuse people, so fail there Coen Brothers, but not to worry the film still kicked major ass. Well...that's about it for me, I mean the trailer for Gravity (2013) was smart in using classical music, a lesson learned from Lars Von Trier I'm sure, considering there's I believe little to no music in the film at all, and classical music always heightens up the drama, I mean I think I've heard Mozart's requiem used over 20 times in trailers from the past 2 years alone. So anyway enjoy your new iTunes purchases and I'll leave you with the trailers and maybe some music videos. Cheers! 

Why Spring Breakers is the Best Film of The Year and Deserves an Oscar

Let's get shit straight. I've seen almost all of the big contenders for this year's Oscars, and I know that Spring Breakers (2013) is so goddamn controversial it won't even be nominated for the bullshit MTV Movie Awards, but you know what? In 1969 Midnight Cowboy won Best Picture, and it was Rated X, back when they had a 'Rated X' title and not a bullcrap NC-17 title. 

Remember a time when a film about a man-whore and a drug dealer won Best Picture? Me neither.

Yes, 12 Years a Slave (2013) is a masterpiece and if you read my blog you know I sing its praises, but for crap's sake people, if you look back on what defined our culture of the past year, Spring Breakers has got to be in there. It basically encapsulated not only our sad state as idiots in limbo in an unforgiving world in the midst of a financial crisis, war, and recession, but also basically touched on what that has reduced us to as human beings. And it does it in such a profound and unapolagetic bite-your-tongue and slap-your-cheek way that it's impossible to overlook it's relevance. 

All of the 'against-type casting was genius, we all knew Franco would jump on the bandwagon, but it was surprising to see Disney moguls like Hudgens and Gomez partake, I guess they're smarter than we thought.

Yes, 12 Years a Slave is a history peice full to the brim of great performances so it will probably take home the top honors, and Spring Breakers won't even be looked at seriously because it's cynical, full of transgression, nudity, and hedonism, (all of which the Academy frowns upon) but mostly I believe that it will be ignored because it's a blatant spit in the face/middle finger to society and all of the 'social norms' that we accept in order to convince ourselves that we are good people when we are soooooo not. There is no redemption, ascention, or even any kind of forgiveness to this movie. It's brutal, farcical, and violent as fuck. At least with 12 Years, while being violent as fuck as well, it portrays the violence as if to say; hey remember white people, this is something that actually happened. In Spring Breakers, the violence comes from a totally unnecessary and non-sensical place. It's violence for the sake of violence, and that is something that we as a society can't understand, so why should we expect the Academy to? 

My favorite contemporary filmmaking genius, yes above Aronofksy, Fincher, Cuaron, Bigelow etc. An auteur among pretenders. 

But here's the thing, it fucking happens all the time, and it's incomparably painful. Harmony Korine in all of his genius is utilizing every aspect that defines our stupid contemporary culture to bring it to it's massive decaying zenith and throwing it back into your face as if to say 'this is all that's left of you, pathetic morons' and he does it so effortlessly and subliminally that yes, he deserves not only an Oscar but a fucking parade in his honor. Why? Because he's the only one brave to do so. His films never end on a high note, they always end with people walking out going '...why' and then having a few shots and reflecting on it thinking 'fuck, we really ARE that horrible as a species'. 

He doesn't give you any answers...much like Spike Lee always refused to, and do you know why? Because some times in life there are no fucking answers ok people? Sometimes we all do stupid shit and get into trouble for the bad choices we make, and no one is responsible for it but ourselves. Some times we don't win, and some times we don't triumph, and sometimes life is shit until the bitter end. But the genius of Korine reminds us that until we get to that bitter end there are some absolutely fucking amazing moments that though irrational, we know we all have in ourselves to act upon and that's what's so goddamn scary. And...that's exactly why the Academy won't give him shit this year. They will never admit that they are not the classy, robustly moral, paragons of this brave new world, when we all know that of course they are not, and neither are we. So all I can really say is; Thank you, Harmony, don't ever stop pushing our hypocrisies right back into our stupid bloated faces until we choke on it like we deserve to. Thank you sir.

Trailer below.

Harmony Korine vs. Sofia Copolla

Emma Watson stars as the 'ring leader' in The Bling Ring (2013)

With Spring Breakers (2013) on top of the box office charts in its first week of release, and The Bling Ring (2013) slated to be Sofia Copolla's most interesting film yet in a sea of non-interesting bullshit fluff, one has to compare the two considering the subject matters are extremely similar thematically. 

Both concern bright young things with 'a talent for living' who are not shall we say well-off but not necessarily starving either and go on crime sprees if for no better reason than that they're bored. 

In Spring Breakers, the motivation is to find sufficient funds to keep the beer flowing and the bikinis off for an endless spring break that leads to violence and murder, while in The Bling Ring, a bunch of spoiled brats from Beverly Hills decide to rob other rich peoples homes if for nothing more than attention, which they got. They even made a show about it which aired on E! called 'Pretty Wild'. Needless to say, it didn't do so well. 

Beautiful still from Spring Breakers (2013)

The motivation of crime for crime's sake stretches way back to the times of the infamous Leopold and Loeb case where two rich lovers decided to kill a young boy believing themselves to be personifications of the Nietzscheian 'Superman', killers without consequence, those who do the crime without ever considering of doing the time, just to see if they could get away with it, and more often than not, they can't. 

In both films the characters are hipstery brats that have nothing better to do with time, and we love to hate their careless abandon but also embrace it as we live vicariously through them for a little under 2 hours. 

The members of the so-called Bling Ring and co-starring skinny jeans.

Both of these themes run parallel in the stories of both films, so the question becomes who will be the more outrageous. Clearly, my money's on Korine. I love the man, and if you've ever watched any of his films he's one step away from pure Vincent Gallo-esque outrageousnous.

Sofia on the other hand, has always been close but no cigar. Her films almost have a point, and then they don't. It's just about sad and lonely people in a world that doesn't understand them and....snore. 

But I have to give her at least some credit, after watching the trailer for The Bling Ring, I was almost impressed. The Sleigh Bells playing in the background was also helpful, and it looks rather accurate if it's actually based on the facts which her prior film Marie Antoinette (2005) was certainly not. 

Haromony Korine, one of our generation's greatest auteurs.

Therefore we have to think of these films as a series in the portfolio of auteurs, and for Korine, this definitely fits in with his repertoire. Drugs, sex, violence, and everything bizarre have always been the corner stone of his content, and what he's able to do with it so brashly and apologetically is nothing short of art. If The Bling Ring (2013) is to be taken seriously, and looks like it's going to be, it's going to have some serious shoes to fill. The film needs to be sardonic, contemptible, fanatical, and tawdry, all in the best way imaginable. It needs to be filthy like Korine, or it will be just as forgettable as all her other endeavors, so I guess Sofia, I wish you luck. You'll need it.

Official trailer for The Bling Ring (2013)

Official trailer for Spring Breakers (2013)

An excerpt from 'Pretty Wild' the show about the girls who started the bling ring, featuring ring leader Alexis Neiers.