I even dyed my hair bright red to match Amanda Palmer's which I only learned later, takes forever to get out.
Let's take it down a notch. I've decided to steer my blog into some more personal stuff of late, limericks, funny stories, yada yada. But not to worry it won't get boring people. I've been very nostalgic for New York of late, well not even the bustling hub of Manhattan but for two beautiful and wonderful friends that I still keep in touch with even though one is in the jazzy illumination of New Orleans, and the other one literally on the other side of this sad little planet, China. We made quick girlfriends in our little dingy dorms known to its residents as the G-Dubs at the School of the Arts for the one year I was there before transferring to NYU.
We all had similar tastes and were wildly creative and loved to hang out at watering holes discussing art like we were the new generation of beats or something. As long as the drinks were at a fair price we could stay all night, because we always had shit to talk about, and all the time in the world. Our school loved to throw hedonistic Halloween parties (hey it was a liberal arts college, what did you expect?) I mean one year they threw it at a club in Chelsea called, and I'm not making this up; 'Duvet' so basically it was a darkened room in some cellar and the only thing to sit on were beds. Combine that with about 200 drunk college students and you've got yourself a full fledged clusterfuck...literally. I believe at this point I was already at NYU and invited one of the girls and another friend to get ready with me and also, of course pre-game on cheap wine. Me and my friend decided to go as The Dresden Dolls; a band we both greatly admired and hey made for a great Halloween costume that was easy to put together yourself. I wanted to be Amanda Palmer solely for purpose of being able to shave my eye brows and fill them in with a Gothic pattern in a sharpie ( I was 22, stop judging), and she had no problem with being her lover and counterpoint, Brian Viglione because she had always wanted to dress up in drag. I had the most interesting friends I really did. None of this slutty nurse or butterfly bullcrap. Let's go balls to the wall with this mother. Little did we know that The Dresden Dolls was a very popular costume especially on the New York scene, but luckily that year we were the only ones that pulled it off. And very well I might say.
We did pretty good no? And yes of course I had the striped panty-hose and baby doll shoes.
I also had an urge to be Palmer because I wanted to know what it was like to be such a beautiful bad-ass just for a few drunken hours, and we got a lot of praise at the party. So today I'm putting on a soundtrack of my favorite Dresden Dolls songs and thinking about my two good friends that made my first year in New York nothing short of magical.
Post Script: A year later, I went to see a play that my friend produced (also in Chelsea) based on the creative catalog of The Dresden Dolls and it was actually very interesting. Apparently their music is not only artistic weirdo's like me.
I'll leave you with some fun videos. My favorite is the one where they battle Panic! At the Disco set to their song; 'Backstabber'.
Ok let me just start off with saying, I'm not into comics and really don't know much about Batman outside how I've seen him in the movies. Also let me preface this with saying that it's not even 9:30am and I've heard almost 15 jokes about Matt Damon being Robin, so can we not talk about that at all? (The Matt Damon part I mean, like that has any relevance) So news broke today that Ben Affleck will be the new Batman in the Man of Steel sequel and social media erupted with Affleck backlash, the likes of which we haven't seen since Lindsay Lohan got cast as Elizabeth Taylor. First of all, can everyone please calm the fuck down? It's actually a pretty sound decision considering, and here's why. Out of all the iconic Batman's I'm of the firm opinion, and I might have just put a target on my back, that Christian Bale's is down there with worst. The only reason the Nolan Batman films are any good is because of the villains (discounting Anne Hathaway), not because of Bale's Clint Eastwoody existential deadpan performance. Bale as an actor is very versatile, he can go from playing a superficial sociopath in American Psycho (2000) to playing a malnourished, tortured soul in The Machinist (2004), to a crack-addled good-for-nothing walking disaster in The Fighter (2011). We are all aware of his capabilities. Apparently though, when he puts on the rubber suit with ears, he becomes basically a fucking robot. I mean like no delivery whatsoever, even when he's not the caped crusader you might as well be acting opposite a mannequin. You know how I can tell his acting is not up to par? It's because he's not even the star of his own movie, he just moves along with the plot like 'well this might as well happen'. No one talks about Bale when the movie is over, it's all about OMG Heath Ledger, or OMG Tom Hardy, or OMG Chritopher Nolan uses wayyyyy too many cuts. Anyway! I was always underwhelmed to say the least at Bale's Batman, not that I expected him to chew the scenery and get all Hamlet on the mofo, not that there was any opportunity to do that because the writing was let's admit it, banal at best.
Take it easy on the intensity Bale, no one is asking you to rip 15 phone books in half.
You would expect someone like Bale to seriously step it up considering his CV as an actor but he held back, and not in that good subtle way that wins people Academy Awards.
Now, on to Affleck, he isn't exactly Marlon Brando either. The guy gets so much flack for his acting, but lately has shown some serious range...and yet not in acting. The guy is a writer/director, he's got two Oscar's to prove it. His acting is borderline ridiculous at best, but at least he has that strange sensitive endearing charm that I think will work well for Batman. I mean hey, it's worked well in keeping him in the favor of the public eye. Maybe he just hasn't gotten meaty roles yet because no one has taken him seriously since Mallrats (1996), but maybe that's a good thing. I mean, being Batman is not exactly training for the acting Olympics. It's a visual icon, so strap on the rubber suit, tie up the utility belt and breath heavily, but at least add some bravado into it, don't just stare beyond someone's eyeballs like you're The Terminator every time you talk to them. I don't know, maybe it's time to bring some damn emotion back into Batman and stop making him a catatonic killing machine.
Maybe I'm just for this whole thing, because perhaps now I can be sexually attracted to Batman.
I know Affleck ruined Daredevil (2003) for you, but did you honestly expect much from that movie to begin with? It's like saying 'oh, Anne Hathaway ruined Les Miserables (2012) for me!) Well here's his chance to redeem himself. He's working with a good writing/directing team, and everything is ripe for interpretation now. And Affleck always had those great sensitive eyes. Even when crying and screaming for Harry not to sacrifice himself in Armageddon (1999) (ok, now there's definitely a target on my back) I was totally buying it. Bale will always have a harshness to his demeanor in my opinion, there's a dark side to him that is just that...a blanket of pitch black nothingness, while Affleck I think, at least, I hope can play both ends of the spectrum. And I think we're all in agreement that we need Batman to lighten up just a little bit. I mean, I know you're protecting an entire city, but take a Lexapro and drink a box of Chardonnay every once in a while. In Affleck's case it will probably be a case of Guinness, but whatever. And since when does Hollywood not love to shock you with against-type casting. I mean seriously? Since it's not up to Nolan anymore, they thought they'd pull a fast one on us, you know why? Because they fucking can.
Gratuitous and relentless painful sex is as likely to appear in a
Lars Von Trier film as much as bare-knuckle boxing matches are likely to appear in a
Guy Ritchie film, so brace yourself children for Nymphomaniac (2013).
Starring Charlotte Gainsbourg (who’s been in the two prior Von
Trier films; Melancholia (2013) and AntiChrist (2009)) a dying
self-proclaimed nympho retells of all his sexual experiences to anyone who
would listen, but for the love of god why would they? I mean if Von Trier is
involved I imagine every story has something to do with just a lot of blood and
tears. Has sex in any Von Trier film ever been enjoyable or arousing to watch?
It’s been torture, and not in the good way, but I think that is a creation of
Von Trier unto itself. The displeasure of sex.
Hate to say it but it sounds very Breaking the Waves (1996) don’t it? Remember his first English
language film? The one that was actually good and not polarizing? The one that
was not art for art’s sake? The one before he made the incendiary statement
that he sympathizes with Hitler?
Innocent small-town girl Emily Watson plays against Skarsgård (a man who's appetite for sex knows no bounds) and eventually leads to her demise.
Anyway, Breaking the Waves
(1996) was a beautiful film starring Emily Watson and Stellan Skarsgård,
who is in this one too apparently. It involves some kind of rig worker (Skarsgård,)
who gets injured on a barge (or something I can’t remember) and becomes
paralyzed form the neck down. He then forces his wife Watson using survivor’s
guilt on her sorry ass to have sexual encounters with other men and then tell
him all about it so that he can thereby vicariously experience them himself
because his peen is more or less in the vault at that point.
So basically, this is not a film about sex, it’s a film about the
stories we tell each other about all the sex we’ve had or hope to have, so kind
of like a Danish existential bizarre-as-shit slumber party. I for one still
haven’t forgiven Von Trier for his completely irresponsible comments at Cannes,
but again looking at it from a filmmaking perspective, I have a love-hate
relationship with him. His earlier Danish films don’t interest me much, and I
never liked them. Then, he had a winning streak with Breaking the Waves (1996), Dancer
in the Dark (2000), and Dogville
(2003) (which he appropriately titled his ‘Death trilogy’) how Ingmar Bergman
of you, Trier. But Antichrist (2009) is
a film I flat out blocked out of my brain it was so profoundly idiotic. And Manderlay (2005)…let’s be honest, no one
gave a shit about, or watched as far as I remember.
Von Trier on the set of Melancholia (2011) with co-stars Kirsten Dunst and Charlotte Gainsbourg
Melancholia (2011) on the other hand was
a revelation, it took me a couple of times (and a couple of friends, you know
your names) to finally convince me that this was a great work of art, so based
on his history, I’m going to say that I have faith in the project, but am
expecting a widely mixed if not totally polarizing reaction from every festival
it travels to this year (except Cannes considering he’s a persona non grata
there and we all know why), but that’s exactly what he wants. No publicity is
bad publicity is it Trier? Unless of course you’re defending Hitler.
Kink has come a long way...the first of many puns in this blog post.
Have we ever taken a turn for the masochistic of late. And I love it. Usually it required one locking up all doors and windows and ordering a channel only your most perverted friends had even heard of or going to a dingy warehouse with ziploc sandwich bags tied around your hands to pick out the right ball-gag which you would then proceed to lock in a steel safe in your basement until all of your neighbors were all away on a groupon cruise to the Mediterranean. Now you walk into a Walmart or a Von's and first thing on the shelf in front of you are copies of 'Fifty Shades of Grey'. Right next to it? Furry handcuffs.
Now,
kink is manifest in the more sophisticated class, with better
engineered instruments and a general polished, nuanced aesthetic that
appeals to more of a general public rather than just a cult fad.
Polo gear stores are struggling to keep riding crops on their shelves and the elderly ma & pa-type owners can't understand why they are selling those dang riding crops and nothing else. Here's a hint, it's not for polo tournaments, grandad.
And now Hollywood is getting in on all of the sado-masochistic action and popping that last taboo right into our 'vanilla' consciousness (no pun intended). Sundance premiered a film back in January called Compliance (2012), which for months was the talk of the town, and is slated for limited release this August. It stars Dreama Walker from Don't Trust the B---- in Apt 23 fame. It concerns a lowly fast-food employee around 19, who is tricked into some kind of sick masochistic scheme wherein her coworkers are coerced by an anonymous presence over the phone claiming to be the police to strip search her, and make her do generally degrading sexual acts all under the guise that she is guilty of stealing money from another co-worker.
Dreama Walker in Compliance (2012) one of the most highly anticipated films of the year.
There's no question about it, the biggest 'It' thing is BDSM, and everyone is trying their hand at it. 20/20 recently did a retrospective on how marriages were saved by 'Fifty Shades of Grey'. Couples started trying kink in the bedroom and it brought back all the heat, and made everyone pregnant. That's right, there's apparently a new baby boom looming and we have one person to thank for that; E. L. James, who took Twilight fanfiction and not only made it the highest selling book of all time, but generated a serious pop-culture fad that looks like it's going to stick around for a while...again, no pun intended.
Sexual trends have always carried significant weight in pop-culture, but then usually receded back into the norm, or what E. L. James describes as 'vanilla sex'; you know that boring kind of sex where you're in missionary just staring at each other, wondering if you want pasta or chicken for dinner, looking at the dog and mutually rolling your eyes, and counting down the seconds before you can start faking an orgasm. Kink has been around forever and the day. When I was 20, I went to the Red Vic in the Haight district in San Francisco to watch a series called The Good Old Naughty Days.
This retrospective even has its own wikipedia page check it out.
It was 10 or so 'blue films'. For those of you not in the know, a 'blue film' is what people used to call pornography, they also called them 'stag films'. Anyway these films were probably dirtier than anything I've seen with starring Sasha Grey these days. They had to do with things like nuns, plates, people on leashes, and so on and so forth. Did I mention these films were from 1895 - 1911? I didn't? Well that's rather important. People were basically making pornographic films for as long as people had been making films. That's right, while the
Georges Méliès was shooting A Trip to the Moon (1902), there were people shooting two women dressed as nuns licking each others nipples.
A still from one of the films in The Good Old Naughty Days series. These films were initially intended to be seen in French brothels as costumers waited for their prostitutes to get ready.
Kink kind of stayed in the background as American culture grew more mundane and compliant (no more puns intended!), but had a huge resurgence with the influx of fetish magazines in the 40's and Bettie Page who reinvented fetish culture particularly accessory fetishes like leather boots, lace-ups, stilettos, dark make-up, fishnet stalkings, and vinyl underwear.
Bettie Page in Teaser Girl in High Heels (1950) a cult short wearing her now infamous fetish gear.
In the 60's, the big thing was wife-swapping and orgies. Films were made about that as well such as Bob and Carol and Ted and Alice (1969) starring Elliot Gould (I know, gross), Natalie Wood, and Diane Cannon. And now, it just so happens that the new fad in sex is to be tied down to a four-box bed and being whipped within an inch of your life...and liking it.
All Hollywood has to do now is catch up. Compliance (2012) is a gritty independent drama about sexual innocence lost through senseless and reckless violence, but with casting of Christian Grey being the hottest topic of conversation on the interwebs, and directors like Cronenberg still working with those themes, this might be the sex fad that's here to stay.
Cronenberg, who was always at the vanguard of strange sex, (which by the way is also the name of a hotly rated TV show at the moment), has released two films in the last two years about that very topic. One about spank-happy Sabina Spielrein, a pupil and sexual partner of Carl Jung, played immeasurably badly by Kiera Knightly - A Dangerous Method (2011). The other is the highly anticipated Cosmopolis (2012) about a billionaire playboy who has a lot of kinky sex in his limo while the world destroys itself around him, starring Robert Pattinson, the influence for the character of Christian Grey in the E. L. James series. How appropriate.
Still from Cronenberg's Cosmopolis (2012) which could be directly out of 'Fifty Shades of Grey' as far as I'm concerned. Robert Pattinson with Sarah Gadon, two people that could not be better cast as Christian and Anastasia respectively.
No longer is BDSM something only porn producers have to worry about. It's taken over basically all media outlets. From television to films, to the ads in Vogue to literature. If you're still thinking about writing the great American novel or re-booting the tale of Snow-White, maybe it's time to turn off the life-support and get with the times. The general consensus seems to be: Tie me up, America.
