Is Emma Watson's Character in The Bling Ring the New Suzanne Stone?

Emma Stone (left) portrays ring leader Alexis Neiers (right) in Sofia Coppola's The Bling Ring (2013)

So much has gone down in the past few days people. Wendy Davis stood in hot pink sneakers in a sea of Republican Texans without pee-breaks or trips to the vending machine for 13 hours to run out the clock so that most abortion clinics in the greater Texas area wouldn't be shut down. The supreme court overturned Prop 8 in California as well as ruled DOMA unconstitutional (while also overturning the Voting Acts Right) that last part being something people have totally seemed to ignore, but still huge strides made for freedom of sexuality and freedom of individual liberty. Meanwhile, Paula Deen is still a huge racist, and Kim Kardashian had Kanye's baby way too early, but not like dangerously early, and gave it literally the dumbest celebrity name, which is totally expected. So my brain is going through a lot of duress right now.

So let's talk about other stuff...all this news is overwhelming and I need a break. I've been watching previews for The Bling Ring (2013) and pre-ordered it on iTunes. It will be the first Sofia Coppola experience I had since I nearly shot myself after watching Marie Antoinette (2005) so obviously I'm hesitant. I've made sure I have a watching partner and the house is cleared of all poisonous and sharp objects. So I should be fine, but let's draw some kind of comparison, just for the fuck of it.

In the trailer there's a very interesting moment that I kept thinking of. Emma Watson plays the Alexis Neiers-based character we all know as the ring leader behind the infamous Hollywood Hills burglaries which shocked...absolutely no one and why the fuck did anyone care that Paris Hilton was now missing three pairs of Chanel sunglasses? I do believe there are still children starving in Sudan but whatever you want to make a film about Sofia is fine by me. Then it hit me, Sofia has always been somewhat of a failed satirist, and perhaps this will be her redemption.

both women love to watch themselves.

I couldn't stop thinking about another pitch perfect satire about a woman who strives to be famous by being infamous, clawing her way up a ladder and leaving others hurt and disturbed along the way; Suzanne Stone the ruthless murderess of Gus Van Sant's brilliant black comedy To Die For (1995). The character is played perfectly by a pre-botoxed Nicole Kidman, and there's a great scene when she's about to basically get away with concpiracy to commit murder and says to hoareds of press who surround her (just what she wants) that 'life, liberty....and all the rest of it still stand for something'. For some reason this immediately popped into my head when in the trailer we see Emma Watson as Nicki swarmed by a similar hoard of photographers desperately speaking into every microphone hiding her actual pleasure with the whole situation by huge Nicole Ritchie-type sunglasses that she's 'a huge believer in karma, and this is a learning experience for her' after which she takes a pause to think of something at least remotely sincere and ends it with 'I want to lead a country one day...for all I know'. The statement seems as misguided as Stone's but harkens that though acquitted in the actual courts, in the court of public opinion, these two broads are screwed because they wanted superficial things (namely fame of any sort, no matter how long the 15 minutes would last) and did really despicable and cruel things to achieve it, not understanding in the end that in their moment of redemption at least to the people that they had fought so hard to get on their side, they totally screwed it up because all in all, they are pretty soulless individuals. 

Both are extremely aware of their own sexual power.

Now, I am not comparing Gus Ban Sant to Sofia Coppola, I mean I haven't seen any pigs fly through my window, nor any of the horesmen of the apocalypse so that will not happen not now and not ever. But in terms of satire, I think if Sofia was directing Watson towards any extension of Alexis Neiers it was probably to play her as one of the greatest bitches in film history, or at least of the 90's and that of satire itself, and that is Suzanne Stone (Nicole Kidman). That is, if she's any kind of smart, and that's a reach. But let's hope that we see some more of Van Sant's themes in Coppola's teenage epic. It could work to her benefit, or land her right on her ass. Just like the rest of her films.

Trailers for both films below. 

Another Von Trier Sex Film? Um...I Guess.

Still from Nymphomaniac (2013)

Gratuitous and relentless painful sex is as likely to appear in a Lars Von Trier film as much as bare-knuckle boxing matches are likely to appear in a Guy Ritchie film, so brace yourself children for Nymphomaniac (2013).

Starring Charlotte Gainsbourg (who’s been in the two prior Von Trier films; Melancholia (2013) and AntiChrist (2009)) a dying self-proclaimed nympho retells of all his sexual experiences to anyone who would listen, but for the love of god why would they? I mean if Von Trier is involved I imagine every story has something to do with just a lot of blood and tears. Has sex in any Von Trier film ever been enjoyable or arousing to watch? It’s been torture, and not in the good way, but I think that is a creation of Von Trier unto itself. The displeasure of sex.

Hate to say it but it sounds very Breaking the Waves (1996) don’t it? Remember his first English language film? The one that was actually good and not polarizing? The one that was not art for art’s sake? The one before he made the incendiary statement that he sympathizes with Hitler?

Innocent small-town girl Emily Watson plays against Skarsgård (a man who's appetite for sex knows no bounds) and eventually leads to her demise.

Anyway, Breaking the Waves (1996) was a beautiful film starring Emily Watson and Stellan Skarsgård, who is in this one too apparently. It involves some kind of rig worker (Skarsgård,) who gets injured on a barge (or something I can’t remember) and becomes paralyzed form the neck down. He then forces his wife Watson using survivor’s guilt on her sorry ass to have sexual encounters with other men and then tell him all about it so that he can thereby vicariously experience them himself because his peen is more or less in the vault at that point.

So basically, this is not a film about sex, it’s a film about the stories we tell each other about all the sex we’ve had or hope to have, so kind of like a Danish existential bizarre-as-shit slumber party. I for one still haven’t forgiven Von Trier for his completely irresponsible comments at Cannes, but again looking at it from a filmmaking perspective, I have a love-hate relationship with him. His earlier Danish films don’t interest me much, and I never liked them. Then, he had a winning streak with Breaking the Waves (1996), Dancer in the Dark (2000), and Dogville (2003) (which he appropriately titled his ‘Death trilogy’) how Ingmar Bergman of you, Trier. But Antichrist (2009) is a film I flat out blocked out of my brain it was so profoundly idiotic. And Manderlay (2005)…let’s be honest, no one gave a shit about, or watched as far as I remember. 

Von Trier on the set of Melancholia (2011) with co-stars Kirsten Dunst and Charlotte Gainsbourg

Melancholia (2011) on the other hand was a revelation, it took me a couple of times (and a couple of friends, you know your names) to finally convince me that this was a great work of art, so based on his history, I’m going to say that I have faith in the project, but am expecting a widely mixed if not totally polarizing reaction from every festival it travels to this year (except Cannes considering he’s a persona non grata there and we all know why), but that’s exactly what he wants. No publicity is bad publicity is it Trier? Unless of course you’re defending Hitler. 

 Below some trailers.

Harmony Korine vs. Sofia Copolla

Emma Watson stars as the 'ring leader' in The Bling Ring (2013)

With Spring Breakers (2013) on top of the box office charts in its first week of release, and The Bling Ring (2013) slated to be Sofia Copolla's most interesting film yet in a sea of non-interesting bullshit fluff, one has to compare the two considering the subject matters are extremely similar thematically. 

Both concern bright young things with 'a talent for living' who are not shall we say well-off but not necessarily starving either and go on crime sprees if for no better reason than that they're bored. 

In Spring Breakers, the motivation is to find sufficient funds to keep the beer flowing and the bikinis off for an endless spring break that leads to violence and murder, while in The Bling Ring, a bunch of spoiled brats from Beverly Hills decide to rob other rich peoples homes if for nothing more than attention, which they got. They even made a show about it which aired on E! called 'Pretty Wild'. Needless to say, it didn't do so well. 

Beautiful still from Spring Breakers (2013)

The motivation of crime for crime's sake stretches way back to the times of the infamous Leopold and Loeb case where two rich lovers decided to kill a young boy believing themselves to be personifications of the Nietzscheian 'Superman', killers without consequence, those who do the crime without ever considering of doing the time, just to see if they could get away with it, and more often than not, they can't. 

In both films the characters are hipstery brats that have nothing better to do with time, and we love to hate their careless abandon but also embrace it as we live vicariously through them for a little under 2 hours. 

The members of the so-called Bling Ring and co-starring skinny jeans.

Both of these themes run parallel in the stories of both films, so the question becomes who will be the more outrageous. Clearly, my money's on Korine. I love the man, and if you've ever watched any of his films he's one step away from pure Vincent Gallo-esque outrageousnous.

Sofia on the other hand, has always been close but no cigar. Her films almost have a point, and then they don't. It's just about sad and lonely people in a world that doesn't understand them and....snore. 

But I have to give her at least some credit, after watching the trailer for The Bling Ring, I was almost impressed. The Sleigh Bells playing in the background was also helpful, and it looks rather accurate if it's actually based on the facts which her prior film Marie Antoinette (2005) was certainly not. 

Haromony Korine, one of our generation's greatest auteurs.

Therefore we have to think of these films as a series in the portfolio of auteurs, and for Korine, this definitely fits in with his repertoire. Drugs, sex, violence, and everything bizarre have always been the corner stone of his content, and what he's able to do with it so brashly and apologetically is nothing short of art. If The Bling Ring (2013) is to be taken seriously, and looks like it's going to be, it's going to have some serious shoes to fill. The film needs to be sardonic, contemptible, fanatical, and tawdry, all in the best way imaginable. It needs to be filthy like Korine, or it will be just as forgettable as all her other endeavors, so I guess Sofia, I wish you luck. You'll need it.

Official trailer for The Bling Ring (2013)

Official trailer for Spring Breakers (2013)

An excerpt from 'Pretty Wild' the show about the girls who started the bling ring, featuring ring leader Alexis Neiers.