Really Distasteful Halloween Costume Ideas

Yes, we are all aware that just like Sarah Palin in 2008, this year Miley's VMA outfit is going to be everywhere this Halloween. But did you ever think to dress up like Sarah Palin's child with downs? Didn't think so? Or perhaps just Miley's tongue? Here are some ideas that are sure to be not PC at all and really work as a conversation starter.

1. Amy Winehouse's Ghost. If you're into really looking terrifying for Halloween what better way to start. Amy looked like a walking corpse a long time before she kicked the bucket, so you wouldn't even have to work so much on the 'undead' look. Just pale yourself up a bit, it helps if you're seriously thin, and then do the beehive hairdo and the Cleopatra eyes. Or you can come as her date and bring a beehive wig duct taped to a broomstick. 

2. Casey Anthony. Now this is going to get even the liveliest, friendliest party all riled up. Get the big fly-eye sunglasses, a notebook, and a smug look on your face and if you want to go balls to the wall tasteless you can get a doll, cover it with death paint and scream 'not guilty' into people's faces. 

3. Melissa Gorga. For those of you not in the know, Melissa was a new edition to the Real Housewives of New Jersey clusterfuck being Teresa Guidice's sister-in-law and also the youngest and prettiest of all of them. So this one is easy, as much body glitter and fake tanning as you can find, a really skimpy outfit and try to self-autotune your voice whenever speaking. Also, it really helps if you carry around a book that you've made a hard cover of that reads 'I Advocate Marital Rape'

4. Don Draper's Conscience. This one is easy. Just wear all black, or a cape and say it's an invisibility cloak because he doesn't have one. Get it?

And I just had to leave you with this...

Seductress Pick: Rob Lowe

No I don't have things mixed up, I feel I really have to talk about Rob Lowe and his quest to find his inner goddess. He is hands down one of the most beautiful things ever put on this earth to torture us regular folk, and retains a level of...i don't know how else to put this...softness. He has a relentless androgynous   appeal, which keeps him somewhat effeminate but in a good way. It doesn't make him any less of a man, in fact, i believe it makes him even more appealing, if that's even possible, and now breaching his late-mid-40's, he's getting even better.
In terms of filthy behavior, this guy has a gold medal. He's made a sex tape with himself and two drunk chicks, been accused of sexually harassing a nanny that works with his kids, and had simulated sex with Demi Moore in an old-timey bathtub. But in the midst of behaving like a world class cad, he's single handedly giving us more reasons to watch television more than the writers of Saturday Night Live. From The West Wing, to Brothers & Sisters, to now Parks and Recreation, Mr. Lowe is just as riveting as he was 20 years ago with feathered hair and lip gloss in St. Elmo's Fire.
From the tabloids, we can discern that he is a horny dirty man, but he's the prettiest piece of tail this side of John Hughes' movies. He's never grown a filth beard nor gained any chub weight that went straight to his tits, he's remained a consummate master of cinematic eye-candy, with loathsomely perfect features and a devastating bod. Any woman who comes into the misfortune of acting opposite Rob Lowe knows that he's going to be the lovelier of the two. That's what makes a seductress. Garbo, Dietrich, Monroe, and now...Lowe. His skin is soft, his eyes, sparkling with longing, his lips, pouty and doughy, those kind of lips you just want to gently nibble on because they look like they taste like candy, and his general demeanor connotes something that you just want to hug nakedly until the end of time. God gave us a gift everyone just enjoy it.