Thursday, October 18, 2012

Couples Therapy?

Courtney Stodden and 'husband' Doug Hutchinson on the therapist's couch, or as I like to call it, the media whore couch.
I've never gone to couples therapy. I don't think I would make it, I'd probably never let the other person talk. At least that's what always happened when mommy and I went to therapy. First of all, it's kind of hard to imagine that any psychiatrist would forgo their hypocratic oaths and vows of silence in terms of doctor-patient confidentiality and have it recorded for all the world to see on a cheesy cable network, but apparently that's what's happened. You hear that world? nothing is sacred anymore. Give up now. 
And who should be the epicenter of yet another one of VH1's failed experiments along the lines of Celebrity Rehab with Dr. Drew? Why none other than cradle robbing perv who had that one awesome role in that really great movie 15 years ago, Doug Hutchinson and his child bride of 16, hyper-sexed, big bosomed, so-dumb-it-should-be-illegal walking Barbie doll, Courtney Stodden. I smell desperation for ratings! Also, desperation for an extra 15 minutes but that goes without saying.  
Obviously, I mean, these two people need therapy like nobody's business. They also need shirts without holes and a divorce lawyer, but they're milking this sad, sad cow for all it's worth, and apparently it's not worth much more than a mediocre time slot. 
On the show, the two do what they do best - whore it up.
I'm also pretty positive that the shrink on the show is actually not an certified therapist and just some actress they dug up from VH1's unending well of blonde extras to sit there and ask the hard but obvious questions to Courtney that none of us are dying to know such as 'were you molested as a child? Because you seem obsessed with sex', like no one has linked nymphomania to sexual trauma in childhood before, thank you doctor. 
Anyway, usually I'm all over broadcasting bullshit like this, but even this is too low for me. I mean it's worse than Honey Boo Boo, yes I just said that. First of all, Mr. Hutchinson should be in jail... because he's a child molester. Let's call a spade a spade. And Courtney, well I don't know run her out of town or get thee to the nunnery! She needs to get the oil off her tits and study, last time I checked we're in a recession. This show is just a whirlwind of stupid with a pretty good chance of sad. Watch it if you must, but I guarantee you're going to get sick of Courtney's half-dresses pretty damn quick, not to mention her face, voice, and generally everything about her.

Below great Jezebel article that basically explains the jist of this nonsense. 

Couples Therapy: Courtney Stodden Isn’t as ‘Rill’ as She Purports

Below, Courtney and Doug's introduction in the show. Aaaaaaand barf bag.

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