Monday, June 25, 2012

Seductress Pick: Busy Phillips

Current house-on-fire on Cougar Town and BFF to boring beyond boring Michelle Williams, Busy Phillips has the world wrapped around her long claw-like fingers. When I was in my 'teen rebel' phase, I was meandering the rows of Hollywood Video and one VHS tape caught my eye. On the cover right next to Dominique Swain, with bright red volleyball socks and a white plait skirt, mouth half open as if to say 'what do you want from me bitch?' was Busy Phillips. It was her first 'major film role' which is laughable considering that film barely attained straight-to-video distribution. It was called The Smokers (2000) Busy was 21, I was 16, and I answered 'bitch I want to rent you'. And then she kind of disappeared off the radar until reappearing as Courtney Cox's slutballs hedonistic assistant on Cougar Town with a mouth on her the size of drunk trucker and the rack of two ripe cantaloupes from the farmer's market. 
But not to worry, constricting clothes and platform pumps do not hinder one's comic ability, and Busy slowly transitioned into what we in the soft sciences refer to as the Jenny McCarthy territory. Hot and funny at the same time? Only comes around once a millennium...well apparently not. You want to laugh at her jokes and then throw her on the couch and have your dirty way with her which she would totally be in to until she texts you that it's over and tweets your reaction to all of your followers. How can any man resist?
Soon enough, no matter how the characters on the show have nothing but disdain for her character Laurie, one by one, they are taken in by her wit, charm, and huge boobs. You could argue that she is not a lady, but I would counter that with saying that she actually is. She has respect for her elders, is always dressed impeccably, and will always make sure you get the orgasm that you wanted all along. Sounds pretty lady-like to me. The Downton Abbey sisters should be taking some notes. 
We are all glad the Busy back in the spotlight and acting pretty normal considering on her current show she does everything from sharking a car to beating a woman to a pulp with an umbrella. Busy, if you're listening, be my BFF. I don't have a drinking limit and only wear heels, and I love a guy with a cool tribal tattoo.
Another thing, gotta give props where props are due. We all know our girl Busy is no size 2, and we don't give a shit. She looks fabulous as a tall voluptuous, vixen and I can't get enough of her, especially her crazy horse teeth. I even love those.

Some clips below.

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