Monday, May 21, 2012

Who Played the More Uptight and Bitter British Lady?

I'm big on gimmicky bio-pics, and just so happens decided to watch Game Change (2012) this weekend before I fell asleep from how boring it is. Let's face it, we all knew that even Julianne Moore is count-it 4-time Academy Award nominated actress, she's no Tina Fey when it comes to impersonating Palin. All of us and our mothers can do that ridiculous mid-western red-neck Fargo accent she has, and her look is one that even your 400 pound male cousin could pull off with the right pair of glasses and a pageant sash, so the impersonation is not really what we're watching this film for. We were all watching it because deep down in our heads, even though it's been 4 years since the last election we're still clambering around in there thinking 'what the fuck happened exactly? who was making these decisions and for fuck's sake why? did any of us actually digest and fathom to the full capacity the idea that Sarah Palin might one day command from the Oval office. Thank god we never had to accept that eventuality. 
No, that's not Tina Fey.
On that note, I decided to keep on the political bio-pic track and FINALLY give The Iron Lady (2012) a go. Because I'm sure the big pay off is watching Meryl Streep do a heavy British accent considering she does accents in virtually every single film she's played in (look it up). What was the appeal of this exactly I'm not sure, except that Margaret Thatcher is almost dead so get a bio-pic of her in the can whilst you're still able, and people still kinda sorta know who she is because they listened to their parents' Sex Pistols records from back in the day.
The film was you know, ehhh. Good performance by Streep, but that goes without saying, the rest of the film was kind of a nap, which I took midway through, woke up, and realized this broad was still talking through my computer screen, and then she gets old and doesn't talk as much, and then it fades to black. Thanks for nothing Hollywood. 
And now I was one a British kick, so I showered, took off me knickers, scuffled into bed all nuddy like and downloaded Helen Mirren's Oscar winning performance in The Queen (2006)...again. The film, nothing to write home about. But Helen, how did she manage to stay so hot well into her 60's and play the icon that you would least likely associate with being hot? Wait a minute, did I just insinuate that Queen Elizabeth II was hot? Apparently. 
Of course, they had to Photoshop out that infamous tattoo of hers, but Mirren is actually one sexy broad even well into her 60's, and this might be her most frumpy and restrained performance to date. When you put her career against Meryl, there's no question that Mirren is miles filthier. I mean, she was in Caligula (1972) and did a naked pregnant dance...need I go on?
Helen in a still from Caligula (1972) you really thought she wouldn't bring some of that freak to The Queen?
 Alas the time has come when both grand dames of the theater and film world have to play uptight snooty and universally cantankerous British ladies in their 60's. Who did it better? The answer is simple. Though both have gold statue of a bald man with a sword for a penis, with and their names engraved on the front underneath which it states for 'Best Achievement By an Actress in a Leading Role', my choice is going to have to be Mirren. Not just because she's the filthier one, or she's the Russian one, or she's actually British playing a British character. Bad teeth, distracting pill-box hats, awful hair, and stiff upper lips aside, Mirren is a fabulous actress when it comes to portraying a woman's vulnerability. Not to say that Meryl isn't, I mean if I actually said those words I'm pretty sure a bolt of lightening would hit me where I stand. But when you're giving the comparison of two giants in the movie industry being made under to play the stiffest of all British people in British people history, who did it with more grace and tenacity? My very strange erection goes to Mrs. Mirren.
Side note, The United States will always have better looking female politicians than Britain. I believe that's the primary historical lesson to be taken from all of this. 

Below are the trailers for all three films.

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