Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Seductress Pick: Mila Kunis


Pillow-lipped Ukranian import Mila Kunis has barely breached her late-20's and is already a beautifully formed seductress in the tradition of exotic pre-code era femme fatales and devious-eyed vamps. Her name already sounds like some awesomely filthy sex act (example: bro, i totally got mila kunised last night, it was out of this world.) but then, again, so does my name. But anyway, she's come a long way since her start back in the late 90's as the pretty but ridiculously annoying girl on That 70's Show to where she is now. In the middle of all that she had a period of what i like to call bring the 'I-would-rather' girl. This meaning that she wasn't the lead for quite a while but when juxtaposed to even the likes of Natalie Portman (Black Swan, 2010) and Kristen Bell (Forgetting Sarah Marshall, 2008) you still found yourself for some reason thinking; 'hey, you know, i would rather do Mila Kunis in this movie, not sure why, but i prefer her'. Don't deny it, she won you over. 
But let's get one thing straight. When you were sitting at home back in 1998 after your last study hall period with a tube sock, a box of tissues, and a bottle of Johnson & Johnson watching That 70's Show, little did you know that the girl you were about to spank it to was FOURTEEN! So congrats Mila, you started your career as a seductress by making half the male population in the United States felons. Not a bad start. 
She fibbed to the producers and wrote on her paperwork that she was legally an adult which was apparently a pre-requisite of auditioning, and was spunky and fresh faced enough to get away with it. 
She kind of disappeared off the radar for a while afterwards, if in tangible form only, considering she for 10 years portrayed the very ironic role of Meg Griffin on Family Guy (which will always make her cool with me no matter what). 
She definitely had that hot chick/shrill voice thing down to a science, but as she grew up she seemed to tone it down, and by the time she reappeared opposite Jason Segel in FSM, she was the reincarnation of Dolores Del Rio, Bettie Page, and Theda Bera with perky boobs and a rad sense of humor. 
By now, everyone has taken notice and she's no longer a supporting player to other pretty girls, but is a seductress in her own right, and I believe she's earned it. Even though Friends With Benefits (2011) got pretty awful reviews, the chemistry between Kunis and Justin Timberlake is pretty obvious, and it proves that she can now hold her own as a romantic lead, even though she might need a bit more time refining her seductress skills. She's well on her way. Here's a hint as to why we should have seen this coming. Angelina Jolie played hot-mess junkie supermodel Gia Carangi back in 1996 in made-for-tv movie Gia. Guess who played her as a kid? There you go. 
What's really appealing about her is the elementary and simple mix of charm, beauty, and humor. It's been a triple threat since the dawn of time, and very few women are ever able to truly master it, those who do have been magical on screen, and I have a feeling that soon she'll be reflected upon in the same way. Good luck Mila. Na'sdrovya!

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